Snowfall and Secrets (The Omega Mu Alpha Brothers Book 1) (21 page)

“Oh.” Tess was properly chastened. Jessica must have been hell on wheels to have for a counselor. “I did like to party. I had a bit of a reputation for sleeping around. I was such a…”

“Don’t you dare say slut. We are women. It is perfectly okay for us to enjoy our sexual side. We don’t shame men in such a way.”

This woman needed to meet Tess’s mother.

“Now, back to the party,” Jessica prodded.

“I’d never blacked out before.” She had this same conversation with Marie. “My doctor thinks maybe I was drugged.”

“I would say you certainly were. It’s become such an epidemic.”

“I don’t figure it matters. I’m pregnant either way, and I knew I would lose Lukas when I told him.” Tess sniffed.

“It matters very much. You were violated, and it left you with a permanent consequence.”

“I’m not giving the baby up.” Tess put her hand on her stomach protectively. Jessica smiled.

“I’m glad,” she said. “Your heart is torn up now, but soon you’ll be busy, and time truly does heal.”

Jessica scooted close and wrapped Tess in a tight hug.

“Thank you.” Tess dropped her head onto Jessica’s shoulder. “I guess I need to find a new place to go now.”

“Don’t run.” Jessica rested her cheek on Tess’s head. “It’ll suck, and maybe you can find a new apartment. Cry, eat ice cream, be devastated, but don’t run.”

Conner busted back in without knocking. He skidded to a stop when he saw them sitting together.

“Girlfriends.” He shook his head. “I promise you, Lukas and I did not hold each other.”

Tess couldn’t help it. She laughed.

“Oh, whatever.” Jessica stuck her tongue out at him.

“Come on, love, we have a new hideaway.” Conner disappeared into the bedroom and came back with their bags.

Jessica grabbed Tess’s phone.

“I’m entering my number.”

Conner made a noise.

“Hush, she might need another hug.” Jessica winked. She tossed the phone to Tess as she stood. “Also, call your mother.”

Tess held the phone for a long time after they’d left. Call Mom. It couldn’t be any worse than telling Lukas.

She dialed.

“Tess?” Mom was out of breath. “I had to run for the phone. Are you okay? You never call me.”

“I have something to tell you.” Tess drew in a deep breath. She should have grabbed some ice cream. Did she have any?

“What? Are you hurt? In the hospital?” Mom sounded frantic.

“No. Nothing like that.” Tess smiled, but it didn’t last long. Might as well get it over with. “Mom, I’m pregnant.”

There was no sound on the other end. Tess breathed in and out very carefully while she waited for a response. None came.

“I was before I left Miami.” She plunged ahead. “I was at a party, and I think I was drugged.”

Tess decided to go on and claim that, especially if it helped her in this moment.

“I knew you’d be so disappointed in me. So I ran.”

“Tess.” Mom’s voice broke. Tess’s shoulders drooped in relief. She’d begun to worry her mom was just never going to speak to her again.

“I’ve changed a lot since I’ve been here. I’d thought about adoption, but no, I’m keeping it.”

“Tess, come home,” said Mom. “We’ll decide this together.”

“I’ve already decided. I’m keeping the baby.” Tess wouldn’t be moved on this issue. Not for anyone. She was this baby’s mother.

“Honey, you don’t know what you’re getting into. You’ve never made good choices. Let me help.”

Fresh tears fell.

“Moving here was the best choice I ever made.”

Marie, Estelle, Sara, and even Jessica now. She never had such friends and support. Her girlfriends in Miami had been about shopping and shoes. None of them had been there that morning when she awoke alone. Now she’d wake up alone again tomorrow, and she knew that any one of those women would be there for her in a heartbeat.

“I don’t expect you to understand. This move has changed my life,” she said.

“You need your mother.”

“I need my mother to understand and support me, something she doesn’t do nearly enough.”

“Tess, come home. Please. For me.”

Tess took a deep breath and made another choice.

“Mom, I’m not leaving.”

She wouldn’t run.

L
ukas couldn’t sit in the house any longer. He was going mad with regret and guilt. For both Tess and his boys. He put on his coat and headed out. Dio whined when he shut the door on her.

“Don’t worry. I’ll be back,” he said through the door.

He walked to the water and found the spot on the beach where those little shoes were found, and sat. The ice was beginning to break up out in the lake. Spring would be here soon. He had hoped to show Tess all the awesome things they could do on the island once the weather cleared. Now he’d be alone again. That would be his fate. He’d be alone forever. And miserable as Conner so aptly put it. It was no less than he deserved.

He heard crunching on the snow behind and turned to look. Estelle was traipsing down the hill toward him in her ridiculous yellow hat. She planted herself next to him.

“I thought I’d find you here.”

“What do you want?” He didn’t know why she was here, but he sure as hell hoped it wasn’t because Tess called her.

“Conner called me.”

That was worse.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Of course you don’t. You sure fucked this up.”

He shot her a sideways look. “Nice little old ladies don’t talk that way.”

She snorted. “I never pretended to be nice. You should know I called Marie.”

“Thanks.” He hung his head. Soon the whole island would think the worst of him. Again.

“After last night, Tess needs someone to check on her. Marie can make sure she doesn’t cry herself sick.”

Another stab of guilt knifed through Lukas’s chest.

“She shouldn’t have lied to me.”

“Didn’t give her much of a choice, did you?” Estelle took her hat off and crumpled it. “It was either lose you or lie. Not that it would last long. Her body was going to tell the truth for her eventually. Maybe she wanted to grab a little happiness while it was in front of her.”

“Not helping,” said Lukas through his teeth.

“Good, cause you need to get over it. Do you know how many people know Tess is pregnant?”

Lukas shrugged. It didn’t matter.

“Before today, it was only two. Marie and me, and I only learned last night. She hasn’t even told her mother.”

Lukas snorted. After overhearing Tess’s conversations with her mother, he understood that one. His heart constricted a little bit. Tess’s mother would be brutal when she found out. She shouldn’t have to go through that alone.

“Also, there’s circumstances, but it’s not my place to be the one to tell. There is more to Tess’s story.”

“This isn’t about Tess not telling me. It’s about the fact she’s pregnant. I can’t be a father again.” He looked over the lake. That day was so clear in his memory. The shouting, Stacey screaming, the sirens. He shuddered.

Estelle put a hand on his arm. “You were a good father.”

“No, I wasn’t. How could you say that? I neglected them.”

“You set them down in front of a movie so you could get some work done. I dare you to find one parent who hasn’t done something like that before. TV’s not terribly good for kids, but it sure helps our sanity. You paid the ultimate price for something that parents do every day.”

“That’s not what Stacey said.”

“Did you know your kids could quote the entire movie of
Toy Story
by heart?”

Lukas creased his eyebrows. “No.”

“That’s because they watched it every morning while Stacey got ready. She once told me that if
Toy Story
didn’t exist, she’d never get her makeup on, and she wore gobs of it. It must have taken forever to slather on. I think she felt guilty because you did something she did every day, and the kids died on your watch. It doomed the two of you. You weren’t a great match and without the boys, there was nothing left to save. She’s gone on to find her own thing. You shouldn’t sit here and let your ghosts win.”

Lukas clenched his fists together.

“I don’t know that this changes anything. I don’t think I could bear the thought of that kind of heartbreak again. What if I do everything right and something bad still happens?”

“Then it happens. Life sucks sometimes, but it’s so much easier to deal with when you’ve got someone you love by your side. Someone like Tess. That girl has spunk and she can learn to play a decent hand of canasta.”

Lukas looked at Estelle. She was his second mother, one of the three women in his life that he knew he could always count on. Was he ready to add a fourth?

T
he next evening, Tess sat on her couch eating ice cream and watching the final season of
Downton Abbey
. She binge watched the whole six seasons, getting lost in that world so she didn’t have to think about her own.

Tess cried a lot. Work would call tomorrow, and she would try to act normal, but for tonight she could still wallow.

Someone knocked on her door. She ignored it. There was absolutely no one she wanted to talk to right now. Marie and Estelle had both been by, though neither said much. There had been lots of hugs though. Estelle patted her belly and said she was hoping for a girl.

Tess mentioned finding a new place to rent. Marie shook her head, and Estelle only clucked her tongue.

The knocking stopped, and the handle twisted. Someone walked in anyway. Damn. She forgot to lock it.

“Tess, I’m coming in. I hope you’re dressed.” The voice was female, but she didn’t recognize it.

Jessica poked her head around the corner.

“How are you doing?”

Tess shrugged. “As good as could be expected. Thanks for listening yesterday. I needed that.”

“No problem. I’m here to help out again. You need to go shower, sweetie, because we’re going out.”

“No offense, but I don’t want to go anywhere.”

“I know you don’t, but you have to. Come on, you get in the shower, and I’ll pick out an outfit.”

“No, I want to stay here. I’ll turn back on tomorrow, but for tonight I just want to be heartbroken alone.”

“Not letting that happen. Sorry. Up you go.” Jessica removed the remote from Tess’s hand and pulled off her blanket. “Shower. Now.”

Tess grumbled all the way to the bathroom. She stepped in the hot shower and immediately felt better. Ten minutes in, Jessica shouted from her bedroom. “We don’t have all day. Get a move on.”

She quickly rinsed her hair and stepped out. She wrapped a towel around her body and went into the bedroom. Jessica had laid out one of her nicer dresses and a pair of high-heeled boots.

“Where are we going?” Tess asked.

“Someplace nice. You’ve got great taste in clothes, by the way.”

“Thanks.”

Tess got dressed and did her hair, still not convinced she wanted to go out, but Jessica did not seem like the type of person that anyone could say no to.

Jessica was texting on her phone when Tess made her way into the living room.

“You look fantastic. Let’s go.”

Waiting by the road was a horse-drawn carriage. Tess had ridden the taxis of the island, but this one seemed nicer somehow. Jessica helped Tess up and then backed away from the carriage.

“Aren’t you coming?” Tess asked.

Jessica shook her head. “No. Have fun.” She shut the carriage door.

The carriage pulled away from the house and Tess got a bit nervous. She was thinking this was a girls night or something. Now she didn’t know what to expect.

The carriage drove toward the Grand Hotel. The lights were on for the first time since she arrived on the island, but they weren’t supposed to be on until the spring thaw. Tess leaned out the window to see it. The horses stopped in front of a tiny chapel halfway up the hill.

The driver opened the door for her and pointed toward the church. She hurried into the small building, eager to get out of the cold weather. She stopped as soon as she saw who was inside.

Lukas.

She sucked in a deep breath. It was too soon to see him. He looked amazing, of course. Black pants and a white button down. Her fingers curled in as she remembered the feel of those abs under that shirt.