So Much for My Happy Ending (35 page)

I looked at my hands, which were clutching the wheel of the Z3 despite the fact that the engine was off. It wasn't really over. There would be a divorce and it would probably get ugly. There would most likely be more threats of suicide. And then of course there was the mountain of debt, probably more than I knew about. I would have to call one of those debt-consolidation places or declare bankruptcy. Either action would make getting a loan for a Ph.D. program close to impossible. I looked at the box of applications resting on the passenger seat. Somehow I would make it work, and this time I wasn't trying to convince myself of it, I just knew it.

But what about Tad? I wanted him to be okay. Maybe now that he had hit rock bottom he would find the motivation to get his act together and seek help. Maybe he would end up like his sister rather than his mother. But whatever direction he ended up going in he was going to have to go without me.

I sighed, reached into my purse and called Allie.

“Yello,” she chirped.

“Allie, it's me.”

“Hey, April, what's up? I haven't been able to reach you since I got back from my trip.”

“I've been busy. Tonight, for instance, I left Tad.”

There was a moment of silence before Allie spoke up again. “What can I do? Do you want to come over? You can stay here for as long as you want.”

I smiled and rested my head against the leather seat. “Thank, you Allie, you're awesome. But I can't come over tonight.”

“Why not?”

Good question. I didn't know how to explain that what I was feeling was way too intense to allow me to sit still in Allie's living room while we quietly talked it out. I needed a physical release, something that would help me let go of the horrible image of Tad falling apart. In a flash I knew exactly what I needed to do.

“Allie, I'll explain it all tomorrow, but tonight there's just one more thing I have to take care of.”

“All right, if you're sure. Come over tomorrow. Caleb and I both have the day off. If you give me an approximate time, I'll ask him to come over, too.”

“I'll be there by twelve-thirty at the latest.”

“Okay…” She paused. “April, are you sure you're all right? If you want me to meet you somewhere I can.”

“No, I'll be fine. Oh, and Allie?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you for being such a wonderful friend. I don't know what I'd do without you.”

“Probably drink less. I'll see you tomorrow.”

I
made one quick stop at the drugstore before I went over there. I knew he'd be home. Don't ask me how I knew, I just did. I parked the car and took the creaky steps two at a time. Jeremiah answered on the third knock. His shirt was buttoned this time, but he still looked incredible. His dark hair hung loosely around his face and the beginning of a stubble clung to his chin and upper lip.

“April.”

I nodded and walked past him into the apartment. Mick Jagger was singing “Beast of Burden” on the stereo.

I heard the door shut behind me and I turned in time to see him checking the clock. It was almost midnight. “Did I wake you?”

“No, I was just sitting up reading.” He looked at me and he must have seen something in my face. “What happened?”

“I've had a really bad night. No, scratch that. I've had a really bad six months.”

“Tad.” He stepped closer to me but didn't make any move to touch me. “What did he do? Did he hurt you?”

I shook my head. “It's over, Jeremiah. It's all over.”

“You left him?”

I nodded.

“And you're okay?”

“I'm getting there.”

Yeah, well, you're strong.”

“Yes, I am.”

We stood in silence. The music changed. Now it was the Black Crowes singing “Seeing Things.” I don't think Jeremiah moved but suddenly he seemed to be closer. I took a deep, cleansing breath. “I need to be on my own for a while, I need to…to make this a year of self-discovery.” I smiled to myself. My mother would be so proud. “But tonight I need something…”

“What?” And now he did step closer. He was so close that there was barely an inch of space between us, but he still wasn't touching me. “What is it that you need, April?”

“You,” I whispered. “Tonight I need you.”

Jeremiah smiled. His left hand slipped around my waist and his right hand grabbed mine. “Let's dance.”

We moved slowly to the music. We were face-to-face and I could smell the scent of something vaguely minty on his breath. His hand left mine and he gently ran his fingers along my collarbone, then up my neck until they reached my face. He tilted my chin upward and he gazed into my eyes. “You are the sexiest woman I have ever seen.”

He leaned in and his lips touched mine, so very gently at first, and then he parted my lips with his tongue. He started slow and then the urgency increased. I felt his arm tighten around me and I was crushed against him. There wasn't one part of my body that didn't feel the impact of that kiss.

He plunged his fingers into my hair and then gently pulled my head back and attacked my neck. He started by kissing that hollow spot at the base. Was it possible to have an orgasm while necking? My fingernails dug into his back. I was probably scratching him. Oh well, he'd have to deal because I was totally out of control by that point.

He let go of my hair and then his fingers went to the buttons of my blouse. He leaned in so that his lips were next to my ear. “I've always wondered what you would feel like.”

I remained silent since I had lost the ability to speak. His left hand was still firmly on my back, holding me in place, guiding me as he moved me to the beat. He easily undid each of my buttons until my shirt hung open revealing my Victoria's Secret push-up bra. His fingers gently grazed the top of my breasts and then worked inside the left cup. I felt my nipple harden as he lazily toyed with it. His other hand was now moving up my back, and with one easy move he had unclasped the bra. In a matter of seconds both the bra and shirt were on the floor. He stepped back and looked at me as his breath caught. “Jesus, you are incredible.”

I didn't have Jeremiah's patience, I wanted him now. I tore at his shirt and greedily ran my hands over his pecs and his perfect six-pack abs. Oh yeah, I could see why people would pay this man money in order to learn his fitness secrets.

He grabbed me and pulled me in for another kiss, this time pushing me against the wall as he did. He parted my legs with his and pressed against me. A gasp escaped my lips as he pulled my arms above my head and then let his hands slide from my hands to my wrists to my forearms, all the while his mouth was also working its way down over my neck, my shoulder…my breasts. I cried out as he tortured my nipples with his tongue.

He released my arms and moved to a crouch so that we were nose to waist. He undid the button and zipper on my pants then slowly guided them off my hips until they were piled around my ankles. I stepped out of them and kicked them aside along with my shoes.

Jeremiah rose to his full height. I had always thought that he was only a few inches taller than me. But now with my heels off and him so very close he seemed to tower over me. Then again maybe it wasn't his height. Maybe it was his sheer presence.

He kissed me again and I felt his fingers slide inside my panties. A shudder went up my spine. “Oh, Jeremiah.”

He brought me to the brink and then pulled back.

“What! What are you doing? Come back here now!”

“Ah, ah, ah. If you want this to be a one-night deal then we're gonna have to drag this out.”

“Oh, really?” I stepped forward and undid his pants and worked them down to the floor. I got to my knees and kissed him along the waistband. I took my time about it.

“You're killing me,” Jeremiah moaned.

“Don't dish it out unless you can take it,” I teased. I pulled his boxer shorts down and then let my hand run over his erection. I reached over to my purse with my other hand and pulled out the condoms that I had just purchased and carefully put one on him. But to his ultimate frustration I stopped there. I worked my way up his stomach and chest until I was standing upright in front of him.

“So how's this? Am I dragging this out enough?”

“That's it. You're going to get it.”

“That's what I'm counting on.”

He whipped me around and pushed me against the wall again. In seconds my panties were gone. His mouth was on mine and the kiss was becoming more and more demanding. “Now,” I heard him growl. And then I was off the ground and my legs were wrapped around his waist as he plunged inside of me. I cried out and I think he did, too, but I was too caught up in what Jeremiah was making me feel to notice much of anything else. My back banged against the wall again and again, causing the pictures hanging around us to shake. Then he lifted me away from the wall and, without ever breaking our connection, brought me to the bed. We fell on top of the comforter and he dived inside me with more and more force. Somewhere along the line I rolled on top of him and then him on me again. If this was what it was like to give in to temptation, why did anyone ever resist?

Finally, after what seemed like blissful hours of pleasure, I could feel that I was close to what was clearly going to be the most intense orgasm of my life. I grabbed on to the headboard and Jeremiah drove inside me again. I heard myself scream his name and he answered with a guttural moan. And then my world exploded into a series of fantastic fireworks. I arched my back and felt him shudder against me a second after I had met my full climax. I had never climaxed at the same time as a partner before. And now it had happened with Mr. Wrong, who as it turns out, was a lot better than Mr. Right.

 

Jeremiah and I made love no less than five times that night. The second time was more gentle and caring, and after the third time I let him take a nap. I lay awake and listened to his steady breathing. This was exactly what I needed. I almost regretted that it had to be temporary. Almost. As much as I cared about Jeremiah, I was looking forward to being on my own for a while. Still, it would be nice if there was something from our night together that I could take with me. “My sketchbook,” I whispered aloud. I crept out of bed and pulled it out of my overnight bag. I sat in the doorway that separated the bedroom from the living room and started drawing. But after a few seconds I realized I wasn't drawing Jeremiah, I was drawing a woman. She was beautiful and strong, a little scared perhaps, but she knew how to take care of herself. I smiled at my self-portrait. I really was going to be okay.

The next morning Jeremiah and I took separate cars to Mama's on Washington Square. I would be leaving when breakfast was over. We laughed over omelets and ate each other's hash browns and toast. We didn't talk about Tad. We just enjoyed the morning.

After the check was paid he walked me to my car. I stood in front of the door and he took both of my hands in his and let his thumb caress the insides of my palms. “There's something I didn't tell you.”

“Let me guess…there's a wife and kid hidden away in Utah?”

“No wife and kids. A record contract.”

“No way!” Instinctively I threw my arms around his neck. “Jeremiah, that's wonderful!”

He returned my embrace. “Yeah, I'm pretty psyched. Here's the thing, I gotta move to L.A.”

“Oh.” I pulled back. “Well, I guess that makes sense.”

“Yeah, you know…the industry's there.” He looked down at his shoes. “I hear UCLA has a great Ph.D. program….”

“I can't do that, Jeremiah.”

“Right, right, you need some time on your own. I got that.” He looked up at me and then pulled me forward. His lips found mine and I melted against him.

Reluctantly, he released me. “You better get going before our one night turns into a twenty-four-hour thing.”

I nodded silently and pulled the keys out of my purse. Jeremiah watched as I positioned myself behind the wheel of the car.

“April?”

I looked up as I pulled the seat belt across my shoulder. “Yeah?”

“If you ever get tired of being alone you look me up, okay?”

I smiled. “You can count on it.”

I drove to Allie's and was greeted by both her and Caleb. Caleb took my overnight bag and put it on the couch while Allie led me to the dining-room table where they had placed an unopened bottle of wine along with three empty bowls with spoons.

“We're having break-up food for lunch,” Allie informed me. “Wine and Ben & Jerry's.”

I laughed and sat at the table. Caleb sat opposite me and Allie prepared to uncork the wine.

“Okay,” said Caleb, “tell us exactly what happened.”

“Well, after my interview I found out that my grandmother had had a stroke so I drove down to Monterey. She's going to make it but her speech is slurred and she doesn't have full use of her left side. So then I came back home and walked in on Tad and Gigi getting it on.”

“Gigi?!” Allie and Caleb cried in unison.

“Gigi, sans top and everything. When she took off, Tad and I had it out. It turns out he's been embezzling money from his company. Oh, and then when I tried to leave he pulled a gun on me.”

Allie gasped, and Caleb clapped a hand over his heart.

“Well, not on me so much as on himself,” I amended. “He said if I left he'd shoot himself. Anyway, he ended up just completely melting down. I walked out, called the police, and the last I heard they were taking him to a psychiatric ward. That's pretty much the whole story.”

There was a long silence. Then Allie wordlessly took the wine and the bowls away and returned from the kitchen with a bottle of Absolut Citron and two more cartons of Ben & Jerry's. She placed one pint in front of each of us and held up the vodka.

“We need shot glasses,” Caleb said.

“I'm on it.” Allie did another quick trip to the kitchen and returned with the glasses, which she immediately began to fill.

“So now what?” Caleb asked.

I opened up my carton of Everything But the Kitchen Sink ice cream and dug my spoon in. “Well, thanks to you I'm going to learn French this summer, and thanks to Allie, I'll also be starting that gallery job next week.”

“You got it!” Allie slammed her hand against the table in triumph.

“Yep. So at least I'm employed. Of course, I'm also broke.”

“That's temporary,” Allie said.

“And I'm homeless.”

“No, never homeless.” Caleb waved his finger at me. “Allie and I have been talking it over and we've decided that you are going to be living with me.”

Allie shrugged. “I lost the coin toss.”

“We'll convert my living room into a bedroom.”

“You don't have to do that….”

“Ah, ah, ah, not another word. I have always wanted a woman to play Grace to my Will so now the part is yours. And I know that this whole divorce thing is going to mess with your credit, and mine's perfect, so if you need me to cosign on a student loan just say the word.”

“I can't ask you to do that, Caleb. You're already paying for the French lessons.”

“I didn't say I would pay your loan for you, I just said I would secure it.”

“Yeah, he knows you're good for it,” Allie said. “And if you try to stiff him, he knows where you live.”