So Much Trouble When She Walked In (11 page)

She
shook her head.  “Not here, not now.”  She looked around the yard, her gaze
bleak, and she was like a little girl lost.

“We’ll
talk tonight then.  I can come to see you.”

She
shook her hear again.  “No, not at my place.  I don’t want…Suave to know how
upset I am.  Somewhere else.”

“Do
you want to come over to my house?”  He asked the question but he really didn’t
want to go there, not after what had happened last time. 

She
shrugged.  “I guess so.”  Then she looked up at him.  “Is Reed still there?”

“No,
he’s been back  in London two weeks now.”  Would that make a difference to her?
 They’d be all alone at the house.  His eyes roamed her face but there was no
change there.

“Okay,
I’ll come over.  Seven o’clock.  I’ll talk to you then.”

Before
he could say another word she got up and this time when she pulled her hand he
let it slide from his grasp.  Then he watched as she walked slowly back to the
office.

That
evening Max prepared a light dinner for two, grilled salmon with wild rice and
asparagus.  He had no idea how long Silken planned to stay or even if she would
accept his offer of dinner.  He would just have to be prepared for anything.

A
couple of minutes before the seven o’clock hour his doorbell rang and he went
to get it.  Silken was there, standing at the entrance like last time, but this
time she was alone.  And this time she looked quiet and subdued and vulnerable.

He
gave her a smile.  “Come on in,” he said and opened the door wider so she could
step past him.

He
took her coat then led her down the hallway to the den, the same place where they’d
so recently had their tiff.  He hated his living room – too huge, formal and
cold.  He almost smiled to himself, wondering if for her the den brought back
memories.  It certainly did for him.

She
chose to sit in the single-seater La-Z-Boy.

He
remained standing by the door.  “Would you like us to talk now?” he asked, “or
would you like to share dinner with me?  I did a little cooking this evening,
if you don’t mind trying it out.”

That
made her smile.  “You?  Cook?  You actually know how to turn on the stove?”

“Hey,
are you challenging me?” he growled, giving her a hearty glare.  “We can do a
cook-off anytime, anywhere.  Just say when.”

“All
right, all right, no need to get competitive.”  She put up her hands as if in
self-defense but she was laughing.  It was good to see a real smile back on her
face.  “You can cook, I believe it.”  She slid out of the chair and onto her
feet.  “And I’d love to share your dinner.”  Then she gave him a wry smile. 
“To tell the truth, I didn’t feel much like eating today but now I’m starving.”

The
twinkle was back in her eyes and it made Max wonder if she’d gotten over her
trouble of that morning.  But he wouldn’t ask.  They’d get to that soon enough.

But
dinner with Silken was an unusually quiet affair.  After taking her first bite
and praising him for his culinary skills she didn’t say much.  She responded to
his question, his attempts at light conversation, but that was it.  She didn’t
put forward anything of her own.  After the way she’d loosened up earlier he’d
hoped she’d be back to normal but maybe he was expecting too much too soon.  He
would just have to be patient and let her work things out in her own time.

“I’d
like to talk now.”

Max
looked up from his plate, surprised.  Those were the first unsolicited words
she’d spoken since they’d sat down to eat.  “Sure,” he said and got up.  “Let
me just drop the plates in the dishwasher.”

When
he got back from the kitchen she hadn’t moved.  He sat down in the chair across
from her, alert and ready to listen.

She
tilted her head.  “Can we do this in the den?  I feel more comfortable there.”

“Sure,”
he said again and got up to help her out of her chair.  As far as he was
concerned she could have anything she wanted just as long as it would get her
to talk.  This time Silken did not position herself in the single-seater
chair.  Instead, she dropped down in the couch then rested her hands demurely
in her lap.

He
looked at her askance.  Was this Suave in his house?  Had the sisters conspired
to play a trick on him?  Where was the Silken he knew?

But
no.  Silken was the woman he’d held in his arms, she was the one he’d kissed. 
He would know those eyes, those lips anywhere.  But then, why was she acting so
defeated?

“You’re
going to think this is stupid,” she said and gave a nervous laugh, “that I’m
making a big deal out of nothing, but…I can’t help it.  This means a lot to
me.”  She sighed.  “And Suave.”

He
almost said, ‘yes, what is it’ but he held his tongue even though the suspense
was killing him.

“I…”
she began then stopped.  “We’re trying to find our mother.”

Now
that caught him by surprise.  This was a lot more serious than he’d thought. 
This sounded like a matter for the police.  “Your mother went missing? When?”

She
shook her head.  “No, not ‘went missing’.  She’s been missing since the day we
were born.”

Max
stared back at her, confused.  What the hell could she mean by that?  And then
it struck him.  Of course.  He deserved a kick for being so slow.  “You and
Suave were given up for adoption?  At birth?”

She
smiled but it was a sad smile.  “Not quite.  For some reason we never quite
made it into an adoptive home.  I don’t know why.  Probably because there were
two of us, probably because we fell through the cracks,” she shrugged.  “We
lived in foster homes until we reached eighteen and then we got the hell out of
the system.”

Max
almost shook his head in sympathy but he caught himself in time.  He knew
Silken and she was not the type to welcome sympathy.  Instead, he grunted. 
“That must have been rough.”

She
shrugged.  “It was, but we survived.  Came out pretty good, all things
considered.”  Then she fell silent again and her face took on a faraway look.

“But
now,” he ventured, “you want to find your roots.  Find your mother and figure
out where you came from.”

Her
eyes refocused and when she turned to him it was almost with a look of
gratitude.  “You got it,” she said.  “I have to find out who I am, where I came
from.  It’s like,” she waved her hands as if trying to find the words, “I’m not
really Silken until I know where…this…all started.”

“Have
you tried working with an agency?”

She
nodded.  “We tried that but it ended up being a total waste of money.  Suave
and I, just working with the internet, we were able to gather a lot more
information than they did.”

He
leaned forward.  “So you have a lead.”

She
grimaced.  “Had.  But it took us nowhere.”  She shook her head.  “We were so
excited, thinking that this was it.  We could hardly sleep after we made
contact with the doctor who delivered us.  And then we flew all the way to
Wisconsin to see him and he dashed our hopes against the pavement.  He knows
who our mother is but he won’t tell.”

“Doctor-patient
confidentiality?”

“Something
like that.”  This time her tone was bitter and she was blinking and frowning
and scrunching up her face, almost like she was about to cry.  “I could just
wring his scrawny old neck,” she spat, her nostrils flaring and then she gasped
and covered her face with her hands.  “I’m sorry.  That was a terrible thing to
say.  But I want my mother,” her shoulders began to shake, “I want to know
her.  I want…” she hiccupped and the tears began to seep through her fingers,
“…I want to know my family.”

Oh
God, the tears.  Max bit down on his bottom lip and his fingers clenched and
unclenched.  He wanted to go to her but she might brush him off, thinking he
was trying to take advantage.  But he couldn’t just sit there.

What
the heck.  He would just have to take that chance.  He went to her, sitting on
the sofa right beside her, and pulled her into his arms.

“I
just want to know my mother, Max, my people,” she wailed as she turned her face
into his shoulder.  “Is that so bad?  Everybody says I should drop it, but I
can’t.  I can’t.”  And then she clung to him, sobbing and shaking while he held
her close, stroking her back, letting her cry it all out on his shoulder.

“It’s
okay, honey,” he soothed.  “It’s okay.”  There was not much else he could say
because what do you say to someone who has no mother?  He couldn’t even imagine
what that was like.  As long as he’d been on the earth he’d been privileged to
have a father to guide him and a mother to spoil him.  And even now, as old as
he was, he knew they were there to give him advice or just to be his sounding
board.

This
woman in his arms, his Silken, knew none of that.  When she’d been a little
girl and woke up in the night from a bad dream, who had been there to comfort
her?  And when she first discovered boys, who had been there to guide her?  Even
now that she was a grown woman she still needed that love, craved that
relationship, cried for it.  Thank God she had Suave.  At least she was not
totally alone.

It
took minutes before Silken’s body calmed and she sniffed then cuddled closer
into him.  Her breathing was still ragged but at least she was calmer. 

Max
continued to hold her, saying nothing, just stroking her hair and listening to
her breathe.

Finally,
she lifted her head and then looked up into his face.  She gave him a wan
smile.  “Right now,” she said in a hoarse whisper, “I just want to forget.  Can
you kiss me?  Please?” 

Max
drew in his breath, not knowing how to respond to this.  She was vulnerable now
and the last thing he wanted to do was something he – or more accurately, she –
would later regret…even if she’d been the one doing the asking.  His eyes
searched her face but all he saw there was pleading.  And sadness.

“Please,”
she said again.

This
time he was powerless to resist.  Lowering his head, he took her lips in a kiss
that was soft and gentle, demanding nothing, just giving.  He wanted her to
draw from his strength, take comfort from his presence, forget all her sadness
and bitter disappointment.

She
clung to him, almost as if in desperation, and then she was kissing him back
with such fervor it was like she was trying to steal his very soul.    

He
answered her plea by deepening the kiss, giving her all that she was begging
for and more.  She’d told him she wanted to forget and he would help her do
just that.  And if this was what would make her whole again, he would not deny
her…because he wanted her to heal, to be bold, strong Silken again.

But
this time he was not taking the initiative.  He would go as far as she wished
and not one step farther.  And if this one kiss was all she needed then that
was all he would give.

But
Silken soon heightened her assault, sliding her hands into his shirt, playing
his body like a banjo, wearing down the bands of self-control to which he
clung.  God, he wanted her, and if she didn’t stop this…

The
thought flew out of his head as he felt her hands slide down to his buckle. 
Before he could still her fingers she’d loosened his belt and was pulling down
the zipper of his…

He
broke the kiss.  “Silken, do you know what you’re doing?”  He reached down to
lay his hand over hers.

“I
know what I’m doing,” she said in an urgent whisper.  “I want you, Max.  I want
you now.”  She slipped her hand from beneath his and renewed her attack on his
trousers.

But
that was as far as she got.  As much as he wanted her, there was no way he
would take what Silken was offering.  Not now, when she was at her most
vulnerable.

“Silken,”
he said, “no.”  His voice was firm.  He had to put a halt to this, for her
sake.

“What?”
 She looked up, her brow knitted in obvious confusion.  “No?”

“No. 
Not when you’re like this.  I want you, Silken, but only when you’re ready."

“But
I am ready-”

“No,
honey.  Not yet.”  He lifted a hand to push the hair away from her face then
tucked it behind her ear.  “Listen to me,” he said as he locked gazes with
her.  “Your emotions are raw right now.  You’re hurting and you’re turning to lovemaking
for comfort.  I don’t want us to do it this way.”

“Even
if this is what I want?"  A note of frustration crept into her voice.    

  
“Even if this is what you want.”  Max got up from the sofa, taking Silken with
him.  “Go home now, Silken.  What you need is a good night’s sleep.  By
tomorrow you’ll feel better.”  He took her hand in his as they walked to the
door.  “I’ll call you in the morning, okay?”

She
mumbled her answer in the affirmative then walked with him to her car.  When
she got in and drove away she wasn’t looking any happier than when she’d
arrived.

Max
did not go back inside right away.  He just stood there, staring down the
driveway long after the taillights of Silken’s car had disappeared into the
night.

He
probably hadn’t been much help to her in her time of need.  Maybe she thought
he was cruel for sending her away.

The
fact was, he’d grown to care for Silken, too much to do anything that might
jeopardize what they had.  Which wasn’t much, he had to admit, but there was
hope.  She’d actually agreed to come to his house and she’d asked for his kiss,
both good signs. 

But
now he wanted to take their friendship to another level.  The question was,
would she let him?

CHAPTER
ELEVEN

It
wasn’t until a week had passed that Silken began to feel like herself again. 
The blow of getting so far in her search and then not being able to achieve her
ultimate goal was devastating.  Even Suave seemed to be handling the situation
better than she was, which was unusual because she’d always been the ‘strong’
one.