So Not a Hero (11 page)

The romantic relationship that had eventually dominated my life had been such a whirlwind, I couldn’t really remember if there’re had been that awkward beginning stage. It felt as if my status had gone from “Single Girl” to “Super-Powered Bonnie and Clyde” overnight. At least our tale had ended with a dura-steel prison cell and not an obituary.

Thirty minutes later, while I was trying to decide between two pairs of calf-length boots, Alexis bounced next to me with a huge grin on her face. I arched a brow and put the boots back on their display shelf. “I’m going to go out on a limb and say that it went well.”

She nodded, shoving her hands into the back pockets of her jeans. “Yeah. His name’s Carl and he does, or did, go to my old school.” She sighed and fought in vain to stop smiling. “He’s funny and cute and he didn’t ask me anything hardly about being Phantasm. You know, other than to tell me that he thought it was pretty cool.”

“So, is there a date forthcoming?”

“There is,” she said. “We’re going to the movies on Friday. He offered to pick me up at the tower, but I insisted that we meet at the theater. The last thing he needs is to get grilled by either Robert or Richard. One’s like an overprotective brother and the other like a drunk uncle that shows up unexpectedly at the holidays.”

“Good point,” I said. I could only imagine what comments Captain Awesome would have about the boy.

“Are you getting those,” she asked, pointing at the boots. “I think the black ones would look best.”

The next morning, after another wonderful shower in my private bath (thank you, Hot Water Gods), I got dressed in a pair of black yoga pants and a brown Firefly t-shirt. Alexis had given me the nickel tour after we’d gotten back from the mall and I had no trouble seeking out the kitchen and the already brewed pot of coffee awaiting consumption. I poured myself a cup and sat down at the long dining table in the adjoining room. I had just taken a deep inhale of the scalding liquid and was bringing it to my lips when Manpower walked into the room.

“Good morning, Karen.” He said as he poured himself a mug. “I trust you slept well.”

I took a sip and then nodded. “It was great. The bed was very comfortable.”

“Good.” He grabbed an apple from an overflowing fruit basket and sat down across from me. “I have some things to discuss with you, but I think Daniel is expecting you in his lab.”

I arched a brow. “He is?” I asked. “Why?”

Manpower polished the apple on the sleeve of his shirt. “He wants to do a quick estimate of your powers and get you fitted for a uniform. I assumed you wouldn’t be wearing your old Crushette costume.”

“Negative. That outfit is long gone.” I tilted back the cup and drained it to the last drop. The liquid was still close to boiling in temperature, but it felt barely lukewarm to me. I slid to my feet and pointed at the double doors on the other side of the room. “That way?”

Greg nodded. “Down the hallway, down the stairs on the left, second door on the right. Can’t miss it.” Then he grabbed one of the tablets in a rack near the table and placed it in front of him. “When you’re all done, come see me. Okay?”

I gave him a salute. “You got it, boss.” I deposited the empty mug in the sink and followed his directions down to a door marked Laboratory Three. I reached out to press the red button beside the door, but before I could, it swooshed open and Power Brain stood on the other side.

“Good morning,” the genius said and gestured into the room. “Welcome to my humble lair.”

The cavernous area was decorated with several large pieces of equipment arranged around in a semi-circle. In the center between them was a dura-steel table that functioned as a standing desk. Three monitors sat around a keyboard attached to the largest computer I’d ever seen. The other side of the room was darkened slightly, but I could make out the shape of a modest cot and a free-standing bureau.

“Nice place, Daniel. I can see why you spend most of your time in here.”

He laughed and walked towards the table. “Been talking to Alexis, I see. Let me guess, she said I don’t sleep and hardly ever come out of this room. Right?”

“Something like that. I figured it was mostly true with a little adolescent embellishment.”

He stopped and gave me a little shrug. “Not all that much embellishing, really. I make most of my contributions from here.”

I looked around the room. “So, what’s first?”

He pointed to the largest of the three machines, a cylinder that could have been a shower for the Jolly Green Giant. “I want to measure the upper limits of your power. That device there will test your strength and your invulnerability.”

I walked over to the machine and stepped inside. The door closed behind me and lights came to life along the walls. The ceiling was made from a large circle of dura-steel that gleamed overhead with ominous purpose. “Okay,” I said loudly. “I think I’m ready.”

Daniel’s voice crackled to life from a speaker in the floor. “The ceiling is a pressure plate that is going to come down slowly. I want you to press against it with your hands and try to keep it from going lower than that red line running along the walls. Got it?”

I glanced at the indicated line and responded. “Got it.”

The silver circle descended and when it got right above my head, I reached up and planted both hands on it and pushed. At first, the downward momentum stopped. As the seconds ticked by, however, I found myself having to strain more and more to keep it from going any further. After a minute, the plate was making headway. It was slow, but I was in the process of losing the fight. A minute after that, I was down on one knee pressing upwards with shaking arms and a back that was in the early stages of giving out.

Then, the force pushing on my hands ceased and the plate slid back up to its original starting point. I stood up and rubbed at the kink in my lower spine. I wondered if the team had a professional masseuse on call. I would bet dollars to doughnuts Richard did.

The speaker crackled again. “Great. Now, for the durability. Your file says that you are equally invulnerable all over. Correct?”

“As far as I know.” I responded.

“Okay. A smaller cylinder will come up from the floor. Please step inside and stick your arm through the hole, palm out.”

I followed his instructions and once the door was closed and my arm was sticking out into the main part of the chamber, I realized what was going on. No need to ruin my clothes or find out the hard way that my face was only half as tough as my arm. This way, only a portion of me would be exposed and tested.

First came the lasers. I watched a large mechanical gun-like object being wielded by a pair of robotic arms as it fired a high-intensity burst right in the center of my hand. I barely detected the beam that would have likely cut right through ordinary steel like butter. Then Daniel hit me with a jet of blue-white flames that danced around my spread fingers as if it were St. Elmo’s Fire. The heat felt toasty, but the test ended before I detected any discomfort. Bullets, radiation, ionic particle blasts; none of it did anything damaging. And only the ionic ray actually stung.

When I was out of the test chamber and back beside Daniel at the table, I peered over his shoulder at the data scrolling lightning-fast across the screen. He “hmm’d” a few times and when I was about ready to shake him to get an answer, he tapped a button on the keyboard and turned to me.

“Your record says you’re Class Five invulnerable and Class Four strength.” He pointed at the rows of numbers. “Whoever measured you was an idiot. You may be a Five in durability, but you’re also a Five in power.”

I blinked and looked at the numbers. I was far from being stupid, but I was having difficulty deciphering all the equations. “Five? That’s impossible.” Martin did the measuring himself. No way he’d make a mistake like that. Class Five instead of Four? That was a difference factor of ten. The one figure on the screen that I did understand was at the bottom right corner.

Resistance Failure: 74.8 Tons.

75 tons. That’s what I could press. That was almost ten tons more than a tank weighed. Holy shit.

“Is that right?” I said, pointing at the number.

Power Brain nodded. “It is. Your failure factor was only 4 tons less than Manpower’s. Congratulations.”

Next I walked into another chamber and got on a high-tech treadmill. I started running and within eight seconds, the digital readout over my head informed me that I was moving at 125 miles per hour. I pushed and attempted to pour on more steam. I’d never gone faster than 125, but then again, I’d never pressed 75 tons, either. However, after five minutes, Daniel called on me to stop.

I wiped some sweat from my brow as I headed back to him. However, he didn’t look up from his screen and pointed at the third chamber. “Take off your clothes and go into that one, please.”

I stopped, cocking my hip to the side and planting one hand on the extended side. “Excuse me?”

His head jerked up, crimson spreading across his face and turning his head into a tomato with glasses. “What? Oh! I meant that you need to be undressed for the measuring. So we can make your uniform.”

I arched a brow and walked over to the device, peering in through the open door. I glanced up and spotted a large, silver ring in the ceiling. The interior was covered in hundreds of tiny laser emitters. There was a raised platform in the center of the cylinder’s floor that was about a foot high, covered in a similar fashion. "This thing’s going to do a complete three-sixty scan to take my measurements. Am I right?"

Power Brain nodded, his face still glowing a bright scarlet. “Correct.” He brought his eyes back up and the crimson in his cheeks deepened. “But you can’t be clothed. I mean, your clothes will throw off the readings. Since you’re not going to be wearing any clothes … exactly … underneath.”

I held up my hand before the poor guy stammered himself to death. Maybe that’s why I had been getting a strange feeling from him. He had a crush – or something – on me and I was subconsciously picking up on it. “It’s okay, Daniel. I get what you’re saying."

I went behind the privacy screen standing next to the device and wriggled out of my pants and tee, hanging them on a hook. I could hear him mumbling to himself for a moment before the machine flared into life and the hum of the power flow increasing drowned him out. The lights inside the chamber brightened slowly, bathing the inside in an electric purple glow. At the same time, the clear surface frosted until it was opaque.

"Almost ready?” He asked.

I peeked around the side of the screen. “Commando?”

His head bobbed up and he blinked rapidly. “I’m sorry? Did you say ‘commando’?”

I nodded. “Yeah. You want me completely naked or can I keep my underwear on?”

His mouth dropped open and the stylus in his hand clattered to the floor. For a second, I thought he was going to have an aneurysm. I shook my head and laughed, waving my hand.

“Sorry, Daniel. I just couldn’t resist.” I stopped smiling and tried to look serious and professional. Like I assumed Manpower would. “What I mean is, will my under garments interfere with the readings?”

He was silent for a moment, either considering the correct answer or trying to get the image of a naked me out of his mind. Then he blushed more and turned back to the monitor. “That’s going to depend on if you are planning on going … uh … commando under your uniform. If so, then you should probably take them off. Otherwise, you can leave them.” He tapped the screen and the humming grew louder.

I looked down and tried to decide if I wanted to chance finishing a battle au natural. Any part of my uniform that wasn’t flush against my skin would end up destroyed. But even items that had copied my power could be damaged. In the end, I decided to ditch the bra and keep the panties. I slipped out of the brassiere and peered around the screen again. “Ready.”

Power Brain didn’t look up from his screen. “Step inside and stand on the platform. I need you to hold your arms slightly apart from your body and stare straight ahead. Please don’t move, if possible. This shouldn’t take more than a minute or two.”

I assumed the requested pose, feeling a bit like a painter’s model. The ring descended and I closed my eyes as the device went about measuring every nook and cranny of my body. I did my best to avoid thinking about the fact that there was likely a three-dimensional model of my naked body flashing across Daniel’s screen. After a really long two minutes, the humming stopped and the genius’s voice echoed within the chamber. “Okay, Karen. We’re done.”

I climbed down off the pedestal and exited the chamber, popping behind the privacy panel again. I appreciated that Daniel didn’t turn around until he heard me approach after getting dressed. He stepped aside to show me the scan’s results on the computer screen. A life-like image of me rotated slowly, her arms spread out to the sides. It looked exactly like me, even down to the purple panties I’d kept on. The only difference was the lack of nipples on the image’s breasts. I pointed to where they should be and looked at Daniel with an arched brow.

His face reddened again. “Uh, well … I didn’t think they were pertinent to the task at hand. So I, sort of, erased them.” He reached out and touched an icon at the upper left corner that read: Attire. A veritable menu of options appeared beneath the button and he turned his head to look at me. “Now, for your uniform.”