Society Rules (23 page)

His voice was low and quiet, and set off every danger alarm she had. Indie’s hand curled around her belly now, trying to hold everything in.

What was that Miss Maggie had said yesterday? She had the gift of “invisibility?” Well, wouldn’t that come in handy right about now? If only she could simply vanish on the spot. How nice that would be.

“Go lie down, Indie. I’ll get dinner for the kids.”

She looked at him, uncertainly. Will blew out his breath, as if he had been holding it.

“Really, I’ll take care of this. You go on to bed . . . I just want to think right now, okay?”

He wanted to think? Well, she didn’t.

Indie wanted to sleep.

Therefore, she did the next best thing. She walked into the bedroom, crawled under the covers and closed her eyes, listening to the uneven racing of her heart. She replayed every word, every nuance of the awful scene that had just taken place.

Her entire body felt sore, as if she had gone a round or two with a prizefighter. As if her hammering heart had actually bruised her. She pressed her hand to her chest.

Indie was uneasy and sickened about how it had ended, with Will’s abrupt emotional disappearing act.

Then his cold words spoken afterwards.

It felt like a tactical maneuver, meant to throw her off balance.

Well, it worked. Indie shivered.

She suddenly felt a little afraid, although she knew of no specific threat. Will was trained to be a very dangerous man, she knew, but she had never had the slightest fear that he would ever hurt her, under any circumstances.

Indie also knew, however, that you never
really
get to know a person until you try to leave them. Very normal people sometimes did very crazy things in the midst of a break up.

She had seen it. Hadn’t she worked the ER enough times when an unfortunate girlfriend or wife was brought in, thanks to the handy work of someone who “loved” them?

Indie shook it off. Somehow, she just could not work up that kind of fear against Will.

Are
you
with
me,
Jackson?
She threw the question out into the air, wordlessly.

Do
you
need
me?
He responded instantly.

No,
please
 . . . .
Not
yet!
She panicked again.

It’s
okay,
he reassured her.
I’ll
wait.
Please,
try
to
rest.

Indie was oddly comfortable already with this crazy means of communication. Even though if a friend had confided in her just yesterday, that she and her boyfriend just happened to communicate telepathically, Indie would have gently led her to the nearest couch, and then called to have her quietly collected by the guys with butterfly nets.

She heaved an exhausted sigh, and thought about how twenty-four hours can change a person’s perspective.

And life.

Then the weight in her heart commanded her attention again.

Chapter 13

William’s Gift

Indie continued to lie still for the next several hours. She heard Will in the kitchen, making dinner for the kids. The smell of cooking filled the air.

Hamburger Helper, she guessed. This was his one and only recipe. The kids did not like it much, but they would eat it just the same.

“Are you okay, Daddy?” she heard Cassidy ask, concern heavy in her sweet little voice.

Guilt took another bite out of Indie’s belly. Will’s hesitation was brief, but noticeable.

“Everything is going to be just fine, okay? Try not to worry, baby.” “I’ll try, Daddy . . . just don’t . . .” Cassidy hesitated, doubtfully. Both Will and Indie waited for the rest of her words.

“Don’t what, Cassidy?” Will asked.

“Nothing.” It was softer than a whisper.

Indie heard no more conversation after that. Just the sounds of forks scraping plates, water running, and other insignificant noises that seemed incongruous after the emotional stress of the day.

So
 . . .
I
just
told
my
husband
of
ten
years,
that
I
wanted
a
divorce.
I
told
him
I
was
in
love
with
another
man.
A
man
I
met
yesterday!
How
ridiculous
that
must
sound!

Indie agonized. Her whole world had just been upended. Funny how even when expecting the worst, one can still be surprised by its brutality.

My
babies.
My
poor
kids.
How
will
we
work
this
out?
She wondered.

She knew it could be done.

Happens all the time. Joint custody, right?

Would she and Jackson move into a little house on the other side of town, and pass the kids back and forth on weekends? Somehow, she just knew this was not going to be the case. Indie had no answers, and wasn’t ready to think about it now.

It just hurt too much.

The sounds in the kitchen began to taper off, and she heard bathwater running. Indie still hadn’t moved when she heard the bedroom door open, but she knew it was Will.

He was being very quiet for a change, but she felt sure that if she opened her eyes, she would see him staring at her. She didn’t move. He sighed, and she felt his movements as he walked around the Queen-sized bed, his shoes making creaking noises on the hardwood floors.

She heard a series of soft mechanical clicks, and wondered what he was up to, but didn’t dare open her eyes. She couldn’t talk to him again.

Not yet.

His heavy footsteps moved toward the French doors, and Indie wondered if he were looking out at the mountains, trying to find comfort. There was a blast of air exhaled on a heavy sigh as Will briskly spun about and walked out through the bedroom door, and he closed it softly behind him.

Indie could feel his emotions, but not his thoughts.

High stress.

Well, that was to be expected, right? She listened as he made his way down the hallway and into his office, where he closed the door. Now it was Indie’s turn to exhale. She had been holding her breath again. She had to remind herself that air was a good thing.

She heard the kids get out of their bath, and moments later, the door opened again. Her senses immediately told her that it was Jake who came into the room first.

Warm and damp, he smelled of Paul Mitchell’s “Baby Don’t Cry” shampoo. He stood next to his mother, and she opened one eye. He smiled.

“I knew you were awake!”

“Good night, Little Son.” Indie had called him “Little Son” forever.
My
boy. My
little
puppy,
thought Indie, sadly.

“Good night, Mommy.” He gave her hugs and kisses. Cassidy came in next, and looked at her with worried eyes.

“Good night, baby,” called Indie, softly.

“‘Night, Mommy.” Cassidy hugged her mother tightly. She then gave Indie a long look, and seemed about to speak, but then, changed her mind. Both children ran out the door.

But Jake looked back. “I want to stay with you!”

“Don’t worry, pup,” Indie tried to smile. “We’ll work it out.”

He closed the door and she sighed. Yes, she really was going to have to deal with those particulars.
And
very
soon
, she shuddered. Indie rolled over and closed her eyes.

She lay there for hours, before opening them again. Knowing she was alone in the room, Indie glanced at the clock next to the bed. The green digital glow read 3:15 AM.

Will never stayed up this late. He left for work very early, and he had always been pretty needy about getting his “eight hours” a night. Something didn’t feel right.

But what did she expect? Did she really think he would simply crawl into bed next to her, as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened?

Was he distraught, she wondered as she rolled onto her back? Maybe he’d just crashed on the little bed in the office. She should check on him.

An awful image of him hanging from one of his ties in his office flashed through her head. She sat bolt upright.

Jackson!
Indie screamed, silently.

He
hasn’t
hurt
himself,
Indie.

Are
you
sure?
She asked, desperately.

He
is
very
quiet,
and
contemplating
something.
Something
pretty
painful
for
him.
Jackson responded.
His
emotions
are
a
wreck,
but
I
think
he’s
trying
to
reach
a
decision.

Oh
my
God,
Jackson,
Indie wailed into her pillow.
Why
did
it
have
to
happen
this
way?

It took a moment for him to respond.
I
 . . .
I
am
the
reason
that
this
has
happened.
I’m
so
sorry
for
what
my
presence
is
putting
you
through.
I
would
never
have
intentionally
caused
others
such
pain,
but
I
had
no
choice
but
to
seek
you
out.
You
were
always
the
missing
piece
of
my
life,
and
the
most
awful
part
was,
that
I
knew
you
were
out
there!
I
didn’t
have
the
luxury
of
blissful
ignorance!

His thoughts sounded weary, exhausted even.

He continued.

I
tried
to
be
willing
to
let
you
go;
to
exist
somehow
without
you,
rather
than
destroy
your
world.
But
would
you
really
have
preferred
to
continue
on
with
your
life
as
it
was,
never
knowing
the
truth
 . . .
never
knowing
why
you
had
to
struggle
all
the
time,
just
to
get
through
each
day?

The words had gained a little heat.

Great.

Just great. She was hurting him too, now.

No,
no,
please,
don’t
think
that.
I’m
so
glad
you
came
to
me.
It
was
the
right
thing
to
do,
and
it
will
all
be
okay
in
the
end.
I
don’t
know
how
much
longer
I
could
have
kept
up
the
pretense,
she pleaded silently.
Apparently
I
wasn’t
doing
the
job
so
well,
anyway!