Sock it to Me, Santa! (4 page)

“I’m going,” my little sister said. “I’m gonna make a rainbow spider.”

I looked at her in amusement. “A rainbow spider? Aren’t spiders black?”

“Not my spider,” she said as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. “My spider’s a rainbow spider.”

“Aren’t little girls supposed to be afraid of spiders?” I said.

Dakota shrugged. “I’m not afraid of spiders. I heard about this girl who put a big spider right on her face and she let it crawl in her hair.”

I shuddered at the thought of a big, hairy spider crawling down Dakota’s long, blond ponytail. “Eww.”

“Did you know spiders are lucky? My teacher taught us this rhyme: ‘If you want to live another day, let a spider go her way.’”

“I don’t remember learning that one when I was in Kindergarten,” I said.

“My teacher says in Bavaria spiders mean good luck. They eat pig knuckles there. And they have castles too.”

“Spiders eat pig knuckles?” I said.

“No!” she said in a fit of giggles. “The Bavaria people do.”

“Yuck!” I said, scrunching up my face at her.

“Mommy’s named after a spider. Isn’t that right, Mommy?”

“That’s right,” my mom said. “From ‘Charlotte’s Web.’”

“Seeeee,” Dakota said. “Told you.”

I held up my hands in defense. “I believe you, geez.”

“And you know what else?” my mom said. “Spiders are traditionally a symbol for spinners and weavers. I think that would make a lovely gift for Jamie.”

Dakota tilted her head and brushed the flyaway strands of hair out of her eyes. “Who’s Jamie?”

“My friend,” I said.
 

Whoa. Where did that come from? Was Jamie my friend?

“We can both make rainbow spiders,” Dakota said. “You can make one for Jamie.”

“I’m not making a rainbow spider.”

“Why not? You don’t think he’ll like it?”

My mom smiled and shot me a knowing glance, but said nothing.

I sighed. “Yeah, he probably would.”

“Yay!” Dakota said, then wriggled her body in her seat as she sang, “We’re gonna make rainbow spiders. They’re gonna be so lucky. We’re gonna make ’em sparkle. So they won’t look yucky.”

I turned my attention back to my mom. “People actually signed up to make spiders?”

“No, they signed up to make animal ornaments. I expect most people will make cats or dogs or monkeys.”

“Oh, God, no more monkeys.” A wave of unease ran through me as I thought of the monstrosity hiding upstairs in my dresser. “Maybe I’ll make a cat. Jamie likes cats.”

“No! You said you would make a rainbow spider, like me,” Dakota said. Her lips turned down into a frown.

“Okay, okay, I’ll make a spider with you. But he’s gonna be black.”

“Fine,” she said. “Make your boring black spider.”

* * * * *

I was plagued by nightmares again that night. The details were fuzzy, but the tightness in my chest and the damp pillow beneath my head as I woke with a start were vivid enough. I kicked off the covers and rolled onto my stomach. As I closed my eyes and tried to get back to sleep, the dreamlike image returned in a flash. I’d been staring at the bottom of a lovely foot, toes pointed up toward the sky. Was it Jamie’s foot? In the dream, I reached forward to touch the soft skin, but before I made contact, a huge, black spider crested the toes. It rested there, looking at me with four glowing red eyes. That’s when I woke up.

Good luck, my ass. That spider creeped me the hell out. It had to be some kind of bad omen.
 

I knew that it was as soon as I got to school and saw Jamie at his locker. He didn’t look like his normal self. His hair was usually silky smooth, but this morning it was a mess, like he hadn’t even bothered to comb it. He wasn’t wearing eyeliner. No scarf, no bracelets, no colorful shoelaces. Just a plain old hoodie and jeans like everyone else. I wondered what his socks looked like, hidden away inside his sneakers. Surely they were technicolored coverings, bearing some goofy design. Jamie didn’t do drab.

Was he okay? Had he simply overslept? I wondered about his socks all day. If only I could see his socks, I’d know if he was okay or not.
 

Every time I saw him, I willed him to look at me, but he wouldn’t make eye contact. I even tried saying hello discreetly when I passed him in the hall, but he ignored me. I know he heard me. I saw his lips tighten into a firm line before he picked up his pace and veered away from me.

It was worse during lunch, when at least a dozen people walked past his table, taunting him about the shoes they’d seen dangling in front of the school. He ended up leaving the cafeteria early. For just a moment, he glanced in my direction on his way out.

What was I supposed to do?
 

* * * * *

I did the only thing I could think of. I made a rainbow spider. Dakota sat next to me at the workshop. She made sure to tell everyone there that I was her brother, and that we were making rainbow spiders. I didn’t need a mirror to know I’d turned a healthy shade of pink when she blurted out, “Ryan’s making a rainbow spider for his friend, Jamie. He likes cats and rainbows.”

I was certain some of the ladies there had been present last week as well. Surely they were starting to wonder about me.

“No, you’re not supposed to do it like that,” Dakota said, interrupting my mental freak-out. She held up a spider leg, dangling it in front of me. “You’re supposed to do it like this.” She was quite skilled at beadwork for a five-year-old.

“At least we don’t have to shove a heart inside of this one,” I said.

She held up a shiny container. “But we get to use glitter.”

And so it was that I left the workshop covered in rainbow glitter dust.

As I helped my mom load up the SUV, I thought about Jamie. I hoped he would like the gift. I hoped it would cheer him up. Maybe pull him out of his funk. He wouldn’t know it was from me, though. If I wanted to make things right between us, I’d have to do something more personal.

“Mom?” I said as I shoved my hands into my coat pockets and looked down at the concrete.

“What is it, Ryan? What’s wrong?”

“There’s something we need to do on the way home.”

As we stood there at the tailgate of the car, I told her about Jamie, about his shoes being stolen and strung up in front of the school. I told her I’d given him a ride home, and that I’d been rude when I dropped him off. I told her he wasn’t speaking to me, and that I wanted to make things right. I told her what I needed to do. She was reluctant, but I insisted it was the only thing that would work.

She gave me some money and waited in the car with Dakota while I ran into the hardware store next door. Ten minutes later, we pulled into the school parking lot with two 10-foot pieces of plastic pipe strapped to the roof of the SUV. She hopped the curb and drove the car directly under the shoe cemetery.

My mom was the best.

I went to work quickly, using duct tape to fasten the two pieces of pipe together and then climbed up on the roof of the car.

“Oh, my God. Be careful!” my mom said, standing nearby with her arms out, as if to brace my impending fall.

“I got it, Ma. It’s fine.”

The roof of the car was stable enough, but it was dark outside. I couldn’t tell which of the shoes belonged to Jamie.

“Ryan, this is nuts!” my mom said.

“I got it! Hang on!”

It took awhile. The seventh pair I pulled down were his. I recognized them as soon as they were in my hands. Bright pink laces on black and white checkerboard canvas. I’d watched them kick the bottom of Jamie’s locker enough times to know they belonged to him.

My mom and I arranged the other shoes I’d rescued neatly at the base of the pole, and I gave her a hug. “Thanks, Mom.”

“Your dad would be proud of you, sweetie,” she said.

I gave her directions to Jamie’s house while I sat holding his shoes in my lap. Part of me didn’t want to give them back.

Dakota asked a hundred questions on the way. “Why did someone steal Jamie’s shoes?”

“Because they’re mean,” I said.

“I hope no one steals my shoes. Will you get my shoes for me if someone steals them?”

“No one’s gonna steal your shoes.”

“How come? Cause I’m a girl?”

“That’s right,” I said. “And because you’re cute.”

“Is Jamie cute?”

“He’s a boy.”

“So? Boys can be cute. There’s a boy, Alex, in my class, and my friend Sarah thinks he’s cute. But don’t tell him. It’s a secret.”

“Okay, I won’t tell him,” I said, laughing.

“I won’t tell Jamie if you think he’s cute. I’m good at secrets.”

“Obviously.”

I was so anxious to escape my sister’s interrogation that when we pulled up to Jamie’s house, I quickly hopped out of the car and walked to his door. Once I was there, I realized I had no idea what I’d say. My mom was in the car, waiting, though, so I had to make it fast. I rang the doorbell and held my breath as I waited for someone to answer.

“Jamie!” I heard a deep voice yell. “See who’s at the door.”

His eyes lit up when he saw me and he smiled, but then quickly caught himself and worried his lower lip. “What are you doing here?”

I’d hidden the shoes behind my back as he opened the door. It was a stupid move. Now I’d have to formally present them. “Oh. Well, I… I wanted to say sorry about yesterday. I didn’t mean… you know.”

“You didn’t have to come all the way over here just to say that.”

“I know. But I… well… here.” I shoved the shoes at him and watched the look of surprise overtake him.

“My shoes! How did you—?” He looked at me, his eyes searching for something.
 

I felt like I was under a spell. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t move. All I could do was stare back at him.

“Do you wanna come inside?” he asked softly.

“No, I can’t.”
 

He looked down. “Oh.”

“No — it’s not that I don’t want to.” I turned and motioned towards the SUV. “My mom’s waiting in the car.”

“Oh.”

My mom and sister waved at us, the light inside the car illuminating them in the dark.

Jamie laughed and waved back. “Awkward.”

“Yeah, I know. Well, I gotta go. I guess I’ll see ya.”

“Okay.”

I lifted my hand to give Jamie a half-wave goodbye and saw the glitter sparkling on my fingers. I quickly pulled my hand back and ran to the car.

* * * * *

I didn’t see Jamie until lunch the next day. Whatever funk he’d been in the day before, he seemed to have worked it out.
 

“What’re you smiling about?” Carl said as he jabbed his elbow into my side.

“Huh? Nothing.” Certainly not Jamie’s pink and purple checkered belt.
 

“You have that lovesick puppy look on your face.”

I shoved a slice of pepperoni pizza into my mouth to mask my panicked expression. Lovesick? I wasn’t lovesick! My interest in Jamie was purely… well, I didn’t know what it was. Oh, God. Was I crushing on Jamie?

I did want to talk to him, but there were always people around. I had sense enough to not draw attention to myself, but I couldn’t say the same for Jamie. I worried that he might walk up and talk to me, and then what would I do? I hated myself for it, but I did my best to avoid seeing him the rest of the day. I just needed some time to figure things out.

Friday morning I waited as long as possible before walking into advisory. If Jamie was going to try to talk to me in school, that would be the most likely place for him to do it. Mike was already inside so I took a seat next to him.

I wanted to look over at Jamie, but I was nervous as hell. What if I got caught in that eye lock thing like I had when I’d shown up at his house the other night? What if the lovesick puppy look struck again?

I took the opportunity to steal a glance when he came up to get his exchange gift. I could no longer deny my attraction. Just looking at him made my insides flutter. Jamie took the gift back to his seat, where he held it gingerly.

“Wonder what he got this time,” Mike said to me.

Jamie opened the box and pulled out the spider ornament. He laughed, and I caught myself smiling as Jamie looked over at me.
 

“Oh, it’s sooo cute,” said Kimberly. “Lemme see.”
 

Jamie held up the ornament and jiggled it so that the spider’s legs wriggled.

Mike snorted. “It’s a gay spider. That’s awesome! I gotta find out who did that and give ’em a high five.”

Jamie glared at Mike and carefully put the spider back in its box.

“Ryan,” Mrs. Keats said, “This one’s for you. I’m glad to see you weren’t left out this time.”

I thanked her and took my gift. I tore open the small package to find a bracelet. It had been braided using heavy canvas-colored thread with a finer, silkier coffee colored thread woven into it. It was really cool.
 

“What is it?” Mike said.

“I think it’s a friendship bracelet.” I slipped it on and held out my arm to inspect it.

“You’re not gonna wear that are you?” Mike said. “Dude, that’s so gay.”

I slid the bracelet off and dropped it in my bag. I couldn’t bear to look over at Jamie, knowing he’d witnessed the exchange. The air felt heavy with disapproval as the minutes crawled by. When the bell rang, Jamie was the first one out the door.

“So how did the gift exchange go today?” my mom asked me that night after dinner.

“Good.”

Dakota’s eyes lit up. “Did Jamie like his rainbow spider?”

“Yeah, I think he did.”

“Did he think it was pretty?”

I nodded.

“Did you tell him I helped you to put the glitter on it?”

“No, he doesn’t know it’s from me, remember? It’s a secret.”
 

If my sister ever met Jamie, I’d be so screwed.

“Oh, yeah. I wish I had a Secret Santa.”

“You’ve got the real Santa. That’s even better,” I said.

“You don’t have the real Santa?”

“I don’t know. Maybe I’m on his naughty list.”

She giggled. “You’re not on his naughty list. You’re on his nice list.”

“You think?”