Softly and Tenderly (29 page)

“To me? No.” Max had been staring at the wall, but he shifted his attention to Tripp when he mentioned Jesus. “Can an ordinary man be a friend of Jesus?”

“If not an ordinary man, then who? We’re all ordinary compared to Him. Jesus called us His friends. John fifteen. Man, you’ve been in the church too long not to know this stuff.”

Leaning forward, Max considered the reality of being a friend of God. “I’ve been faking a lot of things for a long time.”

“When you’re good at just about everything, it makes it difficult to admit weakness and ask for help.” Tripp came around his desk and propped against the edge. “When you went into the hospital last year, you looked at me and Jade, and you promised with intensity you’d never go to the pills again. What made you break your promise? Your parents’ issues? Finding out you had a son? Max, you have to figure out why you leap to a substance before you leap to Jesus.”

Max went to the window just in time to see his son swing for the fence. A hit.
Run, son. Run
. Asa’s little legs pedaled and stumbled as Scott half carried him around the bases, Geoff taking his time to fetch the ball.

Coming around the bases—third was a watering can—Asa squealed when Geoff threatened to tag him out.

“Safe!” Max and Tripp called in unison.

“The pills were easy. My connections were in place, ready to deal. Pills allowed me to keep working, to keep my life the way I wanted it. So I told myself.” Max faced his friend. “But that boy changes everything. He deserves the best I have. Rice and I already handicapped him by the way he was conceived. In a lie which led to deception. Then when I saw the bruise on his leg after being stuck in his crib for who knows how long, the realization hit me in a place I’ve never been hit before. My negligence could’ve left him seriously hurt . . .” Emotion rose in his throat. “I live with a lot of things I’m not proud of, but I’d never forgive myself if Asa was scarred because of me.”

“Who’s going to take him while you’re in Texas? Four months is a long time.”

“I’m hoping Jade.”

Tripp raised his eyebrows. “What do the McClures say?”

“At the moment, it’s not up to them. I have a meeting with Gus today to ask him to call off the dogs. They’re only fighting for custody out of grief, a way to get Rice back.”

“Don’t underestimate the power of a grieving mother.”

“Believe me, I won’t.” What time was it? Four thirty already? “Can I leave Asa here while I meet with Gus?”

“Okay by me, but will he mind?”

“I’ll be back before he misses me.” Max’s cell rang. He looked at the screen. Cara. “Benson . . . Hey, yeah . . . Excellent, excellent . . . Really? Did you draw up the guardian papers? . . . Okay, okay, don’t get in a tizzy, just asking. Did I ever tell you how great you are, Cara?” He winked at Tripp. “Sure, I’ll add it to your fee. See you in twenty.”

“And what’s that all about?”

Max tucked his phone back in its holster. Max grinned. “My ace in the hole.”

“There he is, there, there.”

Jade woke from where she’d been sleeping in a chair beside Mama’s bed. The colors of the afternoon shaded and warmed the room. Sunbeams danced over Mama’s bed.

Since her early morning kiss with Dustin, Jade had holed up in Mama’s room, avoiding June’s scolding gaze and sour expression when she wandered down to the kitchen.

Uncurling her legs, she crawled onto the bed beside Mama.

“Who is there, Mama?” She brushed back the frayed ends of her hair. Tomorrow she’d wash it for her. “Did you have a dream?”

Her eyes, wide and clear, were fixed on something beyond the window. “Jesus is here, on His donkey, waiting for me in the field.” Her finger trembled as she pointed to the window, toward the bright light. “He’s waiting for me.”

Goose bumps trickled over Jade’s skin. “Mama, you see Jesus?”

“Oh yes, He’s waiting.” Mama eased back down to the pillows, her eyes slipping closed.

“Mama,” Jade whispered, “h-how do you know it’s Jesus?” She could be seeing anything, anyone. The hospice nurse warned about hallucinations, and it was no secret Mama had gone on a few acid trips in her day.

“He’s beautiful. Pure.” Mama’s voice purred. “Like nothing I’ve ever seen out there on any psychedelic trip.”

“He’s waiting for you?” She regretted her tone, incredulous and dubious. But it was Mama who once told her death meant she’d inherit her own planet with all male servants.

“I think so. But He won’t look at me.” Her voice weakened, and she gave up any trailing thoughts.

“Mama?” Jade shook her shoulder gently. “Why won’t He look at you?”

“Waiting.” She squeezed Jade’s hand. “Holy.”

In the next breath, she dozed, slack jawed, wind battling its way into her rattling lungs.

“Jesus, don’t take her tonight.” Jade bent to kiss Mama’s temple. “Please wait . . . I’m not ready.”

“He’s calling you, Jade-o.” Mama’s voice was clear and strong. But her eyes were closed. She snorted between each word. “He loves you.”

“Mama?” But she slept. Gentle jostling didn’t rouse another word out of her. Jade crept over to the window and searched all the corners of Tank Victor’s field.

In the back booth at Mae’s, Max sipped black coffee, his hand resting on a sealed legal-size envelope. The idea of reasoning with Gus, alone, came to him during a moment of desperate prayer after he’d rescued his son from the baby-entangling crib.

He didn’t hold much hope in winning Gus over until Cara called. The investigator they’d hired had earned his fee.

When Gus entered, Max caught his attention with a raised hand. Sliding into the booth across from him, Gus was somber, even worried.

“Coffee,” he said to the waitress before she could even ask. “So what’s this all about?” Gus touched the envelope with his fingertips.

“I want you to call off the dogs,” Max said. “Stop the suit. This isn’t good for y’all, me, or Asa.”

“I got a woman at home who hasn’t stopped crying since the judge awarded you custody. Then you won’t let her see him. I had to call the doc for some tranquilizers. Can’t say it’s wearing on me well either.”

“We were set for an amiable relationship until you decided to sue for custody.” Max jammed his finger on the tabletop. “Sole custody . . . without giving me any rights at all.”

“We’re doing what’s best for the boy.”

“Call off the suit, Gus. And you’ll be the grandparents of the century. I promise, y’all can see him whenever you want.”

“Don’t see how I can do that, Max. Bradley Richardson thinks we got an open-and-shut case.” The waitress returned, set down a cup, and filled it for Gus. Then she set down a basket of biscuits. “On the house. Sorry about Rice, Gus.”

“Thanks, Lindy.”

“Call off the suit, Gus.” Max laid his hand on the envelope.

“Can’t do it to Lorelai.” He stuck out his lower lip, shaking his head. “She’s got her heart set on raising that boy.”

“Gus, you’re over seventy. Do you have the energy to raise a toddler?”

“We’re in good health. We can hire help.”

“Why’d you let her talk you into this? We could be sitting here right now, enjoying Asa together, remembering Rice.”

A wet sheen covered the older man’s eyes. He started to say something, but hesitated. “It’s just best for the boy.”

“You can’t put the burden on Asa to take Rice’s place.”

“I said it’s best for the boy.” Gus blew on his coffee before taking a sip.

Max shoved the envelope across the table. “Then here.”

Gus nodded with his chin. “What you got in there?”

“Just a little ammo.”

The veins in Gus’s neck throbbed. “Is this how you want to play it?”

“Seems you set the rules, Gus. You and Richardson. This is fair warning of what’s to come if you keep going. Come on, this whole thing is ridiculous, and you know it. Rice would never want this.”

“I don’t know any such thing.” He opened the envelope and scanned the pages. His expression revealed nothing. When he slipped the papers back into the envelope, he peered at Max. “This isn’t proof. They’ve never found any evidence.”

“DNA testing has come a long way since the ’60s, Gus.” Max slid out of the booth, dropping a ten on the table. “If the media gets wind of this and the DA is pressured to reopen the case . . .”

“I wasn’t even involved!”

“Then you should have nothing to worry about.” Max stood by the table for a second. Gus stared straight ahead. “Rice is dead, Gus. I’m hurting and grieving with you and Lorelai. End this, and let her rest in peace.”

Sunday morning dawned with a new warmth. Finally. Jade woke with a hunger for worship. When the church doors opened at ten o’clock, she planned to be there.

Showered and dressed, she sat on the Iowa burial mound snaking along the back of the yard and lifted her face to the rising sun.

“It’s finally getting warm.” June appeared between the weeping willow and the side of the garage, arms crossed, her eyes scanning the horizon. “Beryl’s sleeping. I hooked her up to the oxygen and she went right out.”

“Thank you.” Jade regarded her mother-in-law. Their conversations were cordial but tight since the Dustin argument. “Something on your mind, June?”

“Carla Colter called.”

“Did she now?” The wind skipped past the ends of Jade’s hair, tugging and twisting. “Say what you have to say, June.”

“She saw you, Jade. When you came home with Dustin after the football game. She heard the truck and got up, thinking something was wrong, and well—”

“So she had to get on the phone and call you? What is it with you church ladies and gossip?”

“She didn’t call to gossip. She was concerned. For some reason, she’s under the impression you and I have a good relationship. Carla thought you might need to talk.”

“If I needed to talk about kissing Dustin, I don’t think it would be to you, June. It’s none of your or Carla’s business.”

“It is my business.” Her blue eyes snapped to Jade’s face. “You’re married to my son. I told you this would happen.”

“Nothing happened.” Jade scoffed. “What gets me, June, is how when your son or husband lie and cheat, it’s okay with you to twist the truth. But I kiss my ex one late night and
bam
, the whole world has to know.”

“I hated keeping Asa from you.” June sat on the mound next to Jade.

“But you did it anyway, didn’t you? My husband had a son the whole time we’ve been married, and you couldn’t break your asinine honor code? Look, June, Dustin is a friend. And Friday night, I really needed a friend.”

June grabbed her chin. “I’ve seen this look in your eye before, Jade. The first time you came to dinner at Orchid House with Max. You were falling in love with him.”

“There’s no
look
in my eye.” Jade freed herself from June’s grasp. “Mama had it right about me. I cling too tight. I don’t like rocking boats or having rugs pulled out from under me. I’m not an adventurer. Well, maybe it’s time to change.”

“You listen to me.” June lowered her hand. “Think long and hard about the Y in the road you’re about to take. Paying Max back for his indiscretion with Rice won’t change what he did. Or the fact that he has a son. It won’t make you feel better about the abortion or miscarriages. What if you get pregnant with Dustin’s child?”

“Pregnant? From a kiss? Oh my gosh . . .” Jade jumped up with a hard glare at June. “This isn’t about me; it’s about Max. You’re not sure if Rebel really is his father, are you, June?”