Soldier On (13 page)

“How screwed?”

His laughter fades when he notices the tone of my voice.

“Not sure. I’ll need to get a second opinion.”

“You mean Tessa.”

Xavier nods. “She really likes you. Luckily, she thinks Steph’s hatred for anything military related is ridiculous, too.”

“That’s good, but will she tell Steph?”

“No. I’ll talk to her. She’ll want to help, and believe me, you’re gonna need it.”

I make plans to meet up with him and Tessa later in the afternoon, and I drive him back to the park. As I make my way to the apartment, I can’t help but feel a little relieved. That went better than I’d hoped.

Now if only my conversation with Tessa goes that well.

After checking that my PT gear is well hidden in the cab, I hit the key fob and head into the apartment. I step inside, and I’m instantly met with the aroma of . . .
charcoal
?

“Steph?”

Suddenly, the smoke alarm blares, and I race toward the kitchen. I find her kneeling in front of the oven, fanning thick, black smoke with a towel.

“It’s supposed to be a breakfast casserole . . . thing,” she mutters. “I thought the directions said 425 degrees, but apparently not because
look at it!
”

She’s close to tears, so the first thing I do is open the nearest window and place the blackened dish on the ledge. Next, I find the irritating fire alarm, pop it open, and rip out the battery. When I walk back into the smoky kitchen, I find Steph sitting at the table, looking forlornly at the oven.

Her eyes find mine. “Tessa makes it look so easy.”

I smile and kneel in front of her.

“I bet even the great Chef Tessa burned her fair share of dishes when she was learning how to cook.”

She sniffles quietly. “I just wanted to try. I knew you’d be hungry after your workout.”

“You baked for me?”

“No, I scorched a big pan of eggs, potatoes, sausage, and cheese . . . for you.”

Reaching for her hand, I give it a little squeeze. I know I’m breaking the rules, but I have to touch her. It’s impossible not to.

“That was really nice of you, Steph.”

“I burned it.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“And this place smells like smoke.”

“But there’s a silver lining.”

“Which is?”

“At least we don’t have a sprinkler system. Although, I must say, seeing you in a wet T-shirt would have made this the
best
Saturday in the history of the world.”

This makes her giggle.

“I wish I could make you laugh like that all the time.”

She sighs softly, and I’m just about to stand when she leans closer to me. Before I can get too excited, Steph lowers her head and kisses my cheek.

“The rules are so stupid,” she whispers in my ear. “But they’re smart, too, because you’re so sweet, and you say the sweetest things. And when you do, it makes me want . . .”

Her voice trails off, and it’s all I can do not to pull her into my arms.

“What do you want, Steph?”

Her cell’s ringtone shatters the potentially perfect moment, and she offers me a sad smile before looking down at the screen.

“It’s my mom.”

I nod. “Go on. I’ll get this cleaned up.”

“Thank you.”

Steph kisses my cheek again before heading to her room.

Now that the smoke has finally cleared, I close the window and try to do something with the charred remains of breakfast. As I stand at the sink, Bangle suddenly appears, and she greets me with a low meow before circling my legs.

“Steph cooked for me,
and
you’re wrapping yourself around my ankles? Definitely the best Saturday ever.”

Xavier and Tessa’s apartment building is like something out of a movie. A doorman greets you at the entrance as you step inside the lobby. The marbled floor shines so brightly you can actually see your reflection, and a man waits inside the elevator just to press the button for you.

How can college kids afford this place?

I knock on 3C, and the door swings open. Tessa immediately pulls me in for a bone-crushing hug. It’s impressive, considering she’s maybe a hundred pounds soaking wet.

“She’s a little excited to see you,” Xavier offers in apology.

“Come sit,” Tessa says, pulling me by the hand toward the living room. “Are you hungry? We have some leftovers from lunch.”

I think about Steph’s failed breakfast attempt. It still makes me smile.

“No, thanks. I’m good.”

I take a look around at their apartment. There’s leather furniture, a large plasma screen, and artwork on the walls.

“Wow, this place is—”

“Ridiculous,” Tessa mutters.

“I was going to say
awesome
.”

Xavier shakes his head. “No, she’s right. It’s ridiculous. My folks own the building. Two college seniors should
not
live in this apartment. I can’t even invite my friends over because I’m afraid they’ll break something. But the rent is free—”

“And the kitchen is state-of-the-art,” Tessa says. “Plus, our parents are letting us live together, so . . .”

“Hey, I understand. I wouldn’t turn it down, either.”

Xavier wraps his arm around her shoulder, and the room grows quiet.

“So,” Tessa says, “Xavier says you want to talk about my beautiful best friend. What’s going on?”

I glance at him. “You didn’t tell her?”

“I told you I wouldn’t.”

Sweet.

I clear my throat. “Tessa, I need to tell you something. Something about me.”

She sighs and looks between the two of us. “Is this going to piss me off?”

“I don’t know. That’s why I’m here.”

Fire flashes in her eyes. “Are you
married
?”

“What? No!”

She jumps to her feet. “Are you seeing someone else? Because I swear if you break her heart—”

“There’s nobody else, Tessa. And I promise the last thing I want to do is break her heart.”

I’m suddenly wishing Xavier had just told her already.

Be a man, Walker.

Taking a deep breath, I look Tessa right in the eyes.

“I’m in ROTC. In May, I will graduate as an officer in the United States Army. Then I’m off to Signal Corps training in Fort Gordon, Georgia. After that, I have no idea where I’ll be.”

The room is suddenly filled with an eerie silence. I don’t dare take my eyes off Tessa. I need her, probably more than I’ve ever needed anybody, because I know her opinion will matter most of all.

“You’re a soldier,” she whispers.

“Yes.”

With wide eyes, she slowly sits back down.

“Oh, Brandon. Why couldn’t you be married?”

“That would be
better
?”

“No, but it would be easier to explain.”

I tiredly rub my face.
Is she serious?

“This is bad,” Tessa says with a sigh, “but not for the reasons you think. Well, not
entirely
for the reasons you think.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Have you told her you’re in the military?”

“Are you nuts?”

“So you’re lying to her.”

“I am not lying. Not once has Steph asked me if I’m a soldier.”

Tessa smirks. “Really?
That’s
your defense?

“It’s all I’ve got.”

“It’s not enough, Brandon. How could you keep this from her?”

“I didn’t know it was something I
needed
to keep from her. I had no idea she felt this way, and by the time I did find out—”

“That was going to be my next question,” she says. “When did you find out?”

I grimace. This isn’t going to help my case at all.

“The night we watched
The Princess Bride
,” I mutter.

“Wasn’t that your first official date?”

I nod.

Xavier groans. “Dude—”

“I know, okay? But she had just started opening up to me, and I thought that, with time, she’d come to trust me.”

“Which she has,” Tessa says softly.

“I know. And I thought that if we lived under the same roof, she’d see that I’m not a bad guy, in spite of the fact that I’m in the Army.”

“And then what?” Tessa asks.

“I . . . don’t know. I didn’t think that far ahead.”

“Of course you didn’t! You’re a guy. Guys don’t think ahead. There is only one thing on your minds.”

Xavier blinks rapidly. “Hey!”

“Don’t
hey
me. Think back to the day we met. Did you really think we’d end up
here
two years later? In this beautifully ridiculous apartment?”

“No, I was just hoping we’d end up in bed.” Xavier’s mouth snaps closed. “Oh.”

Tessa smirks.

“I promise that wasn’t my intention when I asked to be her roommate,” I tell them. “I’ve been nothing but a gentleman. You can ask her.”

“Oh, I have,” Tessa says with a grin. “How are those no-touching rules working for ya?”

“They suck.”

Xavier chuckles.

“But if that’s what it takes, I’ll do it.”

Tessa tilts her head, scrutinizing my face with her penetrating stare.

“Why, Brandon? Why do it?”

“Because I’m pretty sure I’m falling in love with her.”

The words are out before I can stop them, but I don’t care. They need to know I’m serious about this. About her.

Tessa smiles. “And that’s wonderful. It really is. Steph is amazing, and she deserves an amazing person who loves her. But she is seriously scarred from the loss of her father. And while it’s irrational and, in my opinion, a little immature, that’s how she feels and there’s really nothing we can do about it.”

“I know.”

“There’s a very good chance she’ll hate you for keeping this from her.”

“I know that, too.”

“And what about you?” she continues. “Are you prepared to have
your
heart broken if Steph doesn’t want anything to do with you after she finds out?”

I consider this, and I know that I honestly don’t have a choice.

“It’s a chance I’m willing to take.”

Tessa nods. “Then we’ll help you. But you have to find a way to tell her. The only thing that could be worse than Steph finding out you’re a soldier is if she finds out from somebody else.”

I know she’s right, and as the two of them walk me to the door, I promise to figure out a way.

“Is it too much to hope for that she could love me . . . in spite of it?”

With a sad smile on her face, Tessa hugs me tightly.

“It could be,” she says. “It really could.”

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Stephanie