Some Loves (11 page)

“That was a fun day,” Noah said. He smiled at the memory.

“Oh, I wasn’t thinking about the day. My thoughts were drifting more toward that night,” I airily teased.

“Really,” he asked as his pinky let go of mine. Seconds later his hand slid up my thigh. He gave me a
mischievous smile.

“You wouldn’t,” I said as his fingers played along the edge of my bikini. My body began to tingle and I fought the urge to cross my legs as his finger looped into the edge of my bikini and back out again.

“Nah,” he said. “I wouldn’t.  Not with Ty here.” He leaned close and nibbled my ear before saying, “But damn, I want to.”

My eyes fluttered closed because I
wanted
him to. But later. After I dropped Ty off. My eyes flew back open again when I heard the sloshing of little feet across wet tile.

Noah quickly put some distance between us.

“What’s up?” he asked Tyler.

“I was thinking,” Tyler said as he dropped into the hot tub with a splash, “that we should have cheeseburgers for dinner.”

“You were, huh?” I teased.

He nodded and grinned up at me.

“I suppose you were also thinking that we should have fries and malts with it,” I guessed.

“Yup!”

“You know that meal is for special occasions,” I reminded him.

He looked at Noah and then back at me. “It’s kind of a special occasion. Noah hasn’t been at our house for dinner for a long time.”

I didn’t bother to correct him. Noah had been at our house for dinner recently, just not when Ty was around.

“You like malts don’t you?” Tyler asked Noah.

“Love them,” Noah agreed. “I love cheeseburgers too.”

Tyler turned his attention back to me. He already had a triumphant look on his face.
“
Pleeease
?”

“Yeah,
pleeease
, Emory?” Noah mimicked.

I playfully splashed water at the two of them. “How could I ever say
‘no’ to faces like yours?”

I never minded putting in my time at Tiny Tot Boutique. In fact, I enjoyed it a lot. Being surrounded by adorable baby clothes and other infant and toddler items always put a smile on my face. I loved setting up new displays. It was a task my mom had never been too excited about.

Now that my aunt Aubrey had decided to help out, we’d made a few changes.
We cut two hours off of our day so we now opened at noon. I’d been worried that it would affect business. Maybe it had for the first month or so. But we’d run an ad in the paper and posted the new hours on the door and customers had adjusted accordingly.

The backroom was overflowing with items that had started coming in for summer. I was contemplating coming in on Sunday just to get ahead and sort through everything. For now, I was sorting through some of the bigger items, trying to come up with a fun window display. A cute red wagon had caught my eye. I was trying to visualize something summery and fun to go with it. Or maybe I wouldn’t use the wagon at all. Maybe I’d try to set up a fun beach scene. Unless I could incorporate the wagon into some backyard, swimming pool fun.

I was pondering the thought when my cell phone rang. I hurried over to the counter where I’d left it.

My display lit up with Noah’s picture. “Hello.” I said with a smile in my voice.

“Emory,” Noah said in a voice that sounded nothing like him. It sounded strained, on the verge of cracking.

My smile instantly fell. “What’s wrong?”

He cleared his throat. “It’s my grandma.”

He sucked in a pained breath and my stomach dropped. Adelaide would be turning ninety this summer. I had a feeling I knew what he was about to say. I waited him out, afraid to put words in his mouth that didn’t belong there.

“She’s…uh…she’s gone.”

The sound of his labored breathing filled the phone.

Tears stung behind my eyes and my throat burned as it constricted.

“Noah, I’m so sorry. What happened? Where are you?”

“I’m at home. Sherry’s been here talking with my parents. She’s the one that found Grandma. She was supposed to take her to the grocery store today.” He cleared his throat again. “At least she went peacefully. She died in her sleep.”

I wanted to tell him we’d just seen her! She’d been fine. How could this be? Yet I knew it was a ridiculous question. Life had a habit of changing in the blink of an eye.

“Can I come over?” Already I was glancing around the shop, wondering how quickly I could get out of here. I had a bit of a mess, boxes unpacked, but it was mostly contained to the back of the store. I could leave everything.

Noah cleared his throat. “That’s okay. You’re working. I just wanted to let you know. I would like to see you…when you’re done. If you want to come over then…” His voice trailed off.

“Noah,” I said sternly, “I don’t care about the shop. Not right now. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“Okay. See you soon.”

He disconnected without saying goodbye.

My mom’s parents had died several years apart when I was much younger. My dad’s parents had never taken much of an interest in us. Our visits had been few and far between. We received what felt like obligatory Christmas and birthday cards with sizeable checks inside, but that was all. I had a hunch my father had inherited his paltry parenting skills from them.

My heart ached for Noah. Adelaide had been a surrogate grandmother to me the past few years, yet I knew my loss was nowhere near Noah’s. Still, it hurt.

I glanced at the clock over the counter. The shop wasn’t supposed to close for another hour. I hurried to the front of the store so I could turn off the lights and lock the door. Then I made my way back to Mom’s office. I sat down at her computer and typed up a quick sign explaining that the store had closed early due to a family emergency and I apologized for the inconvenience.

I could’ve called Aubrey, but she’d already been working more than her share. Besides, I knew Tyler would be home from school by now. I didn’t want him left home alone. I also didn’t want to waste the time it would take for her to get here. So I taped the note to the door as the first tear trickled down my face. Until that moment, I’d been granted a numbing reprieve. Now, my mind had a few moments to process what Noah had said. I swiped the tear away, knowing more would soon follow. My vision blurred as I gathered my things. The ache in my chest expanded, my body felt heavy and hollow. Then the torrent of tears set themselves free.

***

I had barely parked my car before Noah darted out of his parents’ house. The street was dotted with cars. It was my guess, from personal experience, that his house was already filling with friends and family.

I was relieved to see him. Of course I would’ve gone in but it was a scene that I had not been looking forward to. I knew it would bring back a lot of old, painful memories.

He pulled the door open and dropped into my passenger seat.

“Can we get out of here?” he asked before I had a chance to say anything.

“Yeah, of course,” I said. I knew that feeling well. After Evan’s death, our house had been full of friends and family as well as unfamiliar faces; people who had known Evan or my parents but who were more or less unknown to me. I’d wanted to leave but hadn’t dared because I hadn’t wanted to leave Mom or Ty alone.

“Where do you want to go?” I asked. I stole a glance at him. His face was pale and his eyes were bloodshot. At the moment, he simply looked worn out.

He shrugged. “I don’t care. I just had to get out of there. If I had to listen to one more person say it was her time, or that she was lucky to have led such a long, full life, I’d lose it.”

I understood. Well meaning platitudes often did little at a time like this. If anything, they had always grated on my nerves. Judging by the deep, controlled breaths he was taking, I was sure Noah felt the same.

He didn’t want anyone to tell him it was his grandma’s time. When you love someone, it
never
feels like their time. While Adelaide’s death had not really come as much of a shock, it was still hard to believe that someone so vibrant could be gone without warning.

I reached over and took his hand. His fingers squeezed mine almost painfully hard. We rode in silence. I assumed if he felt like talking, he would. He leaned back against the seat and closed his eyes.

I felt I should have something meaningful to say. I didn’t so I chose to say nothing. Sometimes just having a few moments of quiet to clear your head or cherish your memories is better than trying to fill the air with idle talk.

At first, I wasn’t sure where to go.
I briefly thought about the park where we’d recently had a picnic. I thought there might be too many people there. After a few minutes, the Willow River came to mind.

It wasn’t where Noah and I had met, but it was where our relationship had begun. We’d gone to school together our whole lives. Our town was big enough that we really hadn’t gotten to know each other very well over the years. The day before our junior year started, a large group of us decided to float down the Willow River. I was supposed to float down with my friends but a small misunderstanding sent them on their way without me. I hadn’t wanted to take the four hour trip alone and had been ready to turn around and head home.

Noah had spotted me. To my surprise, five minutes later he’d sent his friends on their way. He’d tied his tube to mine. We’d spent an entire, lazy afternoon floating in the warm water and soaking up the sunshine.

Until that day, I’d known Noah by name, knew that he played on our varsity baseball team and that was about it. By the time we met up with our friends, I felt I’d gotten to know him pretty well. The crush that had ignited that afternoon had sparked into something a whole lot more over the next two years.

“I haven’t been here forever,” Noah said as he cut into my memories of that day.

I pulled into the parking lot th
at edged up against the campground. The river rolled along in the distance. Only a few campers were utilizing the facilities this time of year. They were off to our right. A playground sprawled out to our left.

“I haven’t been here for a long time either,” I admitted. “Not since the day we floated down together.”

He turned to me and smiled but it looked forced and tired. “We’ll get there soon. I promise.”

I nodded. “I’d like that.”

Silence filled the car again and Noah reached for his door handle. He got out and I followed. I met him at the front of my car and pulled him into a hug. He nuzzled my hair as he pulled in a few raspy breaths. I kept my arms around him, wishing I could do more. I took comfort in the feel of his solid, warm body next to mine. I only hoped that I was doing the same for him.

“Noah, I’m so sorry,” I whispered. “I know how much you’re going to miss her.”

I felt his chest quiver next to mine. His voice was shaky when he spoke. “I knew this day was coming. I mean, she was nearly ninety, and she hadn’t been feeling well lately…but…” He stopped, unable to go on.

“I know. It’s still hard.”

He nodded. “Yeah. It is.” His arms slowly slid from me but he found my hand and wrapped his fingers around it. “Thanks for coming to get me,” he said as we started walking toward the playground. “My aunt and uncle are there already but my other aunt is flying in and she won’t be here until tomorrow. Friends from Grandma’s church started showing up and I just couldn’t deal with all the people.”

“It was no problem,” I said as I let him lead me to a bench at the far end of the playground. We sat with the river straight ahead. It was almost hard to wrap my head around all that had happened since we’d been here last. My dad had walked out on us. My brother had died. My mom had spiraled into a world of out of control drinking. She’d caused a car accident that had landed both her and Tyler in the hospital with serious injuries…and now Adelaide was gone.

We’d had good times too. A lot of them, yet somehow, with so many bad, all of the good felt overshadowed.

“I’m sure I know the answer to this,” I said as we took a seat on the bench, “but is there anything I can do for you?”

He let go of my hand and looped his arm around my shoulders instead. “Like I said, I’m just glad to get out of there. I heard Mom and my uncle Andy talking. Grandma had met with the funeral home and her church’s pastor years ago. She had everything picked out. Everything from the casket to the hymns and verses.”

“That has to be kind of a relief, doesn’t it?”

I felt him nod against my head. “Yes.”

I could barely remember helping Mom with all of these tasks for Evan’s funeral. His death had been the result of a tragic accident, entirely unexpected. Trying to think back to that awful
time was like trying to peer through a thick, grueling fog. I knew that we had chosen the casket, and hymns, and verses. Yet I could barely remember doing it. Maybe that was a blessing. All this time later, it hurt just a little less to think about.

“It gets better,” I told Noah. “I promise.”

“I know,” he said with a sigh.

“Do you have any idea when the funeral will be?”

“Probably Saturday morning. There’s extended family flying in from out of state.”

“Okay.”

Without another word, Noah got to his feet. He took a few steps before looking back to see if I was coming. I hopped up and hurried after him. He held out his hand to me and I took it.

“I just can’t sit still,” he said. He started walking again.

A well-worn walking trail ran adjacent to the riverbank. We crossed the kids’ playground and began to follow the path. Trees lined one side of the trail; the swirling water of the river lined the other.

“Talk to me,” Noah said. “Talk to me about anything other than my grandma.”

I tried to think of something that might make him happy.

“
You mentioned coaching the kids again this summer. Are you looking forward to that? I know you enjoyed it last year.”

“Yeah. I’m about ready for school to be done
. Summer break can’t come fast enough. Coaching those kids is a lot of fun. Any word on Ty yet?”

I ducked out of the way
of a large branch that was jutting into the path.

“Not yet but soon
. He’s just about done with physical therapy so we’ll have to see if he gets the go-ahead,” I explained.

“
Maybe I can spend some extra time with him, since he didn’t get to play this spring. I can make sure that he’s good and ready to play,” Noah offered.

“He would love that,” I honestly said. “I’ll mention it the next time I see him. He’ll be so excited.”

While Tyler looked up to Caleb because of his friendship with our brother, he also admired Noah. Noah had spent a lot of time at our house during the years that we were dating. He’d always taken the time to pay attention to my little brother. While Caleb’s specialty was football, Noah had always taken the time to give Tyler pointers when he played baseball.

Between the two of them, Tyler was in great hands.

“I think I might play night league this year,” Noah continued. “Drew’s playing and so is Ben. I don’t want to get to out of practice because I want to try out for the team next year. I figure that’s my best bet at staying on top of things.”