Some Loves (9 page)

“Noah,” I whispered as my stomach clenched.

“No, I need to say this. I need to get it all out there. Like I said before, I know you didn’t cheat on me. I know that. But it feels like you did. I love you. I never stopped loving you and you just, you jumped into bed with someone else. I’d go to bed at night and I’d try to block it out but it just ate away at me.
I couldn’t get it out of my head.”

“I’m sorry.”

He glanced at me. “I know you are. So am I. I’m not saying this to try to make you feel guilty. I just want you to understand how I feel. I still struggle with it. I still think about you with him, all these horrible images flash into my head, and sometimes I can’t make them stop. Sometimes I feel like I’m going crazy. At first, I didn’t think I’d ever be able to get over it. Just seeing you, even from a distance, I felt like I was going to lose it. But now, some time has passed and I guess that more than anything, I’m just feeling numb to the idea.”

I wondered if there was anything in the world that I could say to him to make this better. I didn’t think that there was. I knew I owed it to him to hear him out. I’d had no doubt that I’d hurt him terribly.

“You know, after I went back to Hudson last fall, I started seeing Amanda,” he admitted.

“I didn’t know that,” I said in a shaky voice.

He nodded as his eyes darted all over the room. I could tell that there was something that he wanted to say but was having a hard time getting out.

“Did you sleep with her?” I finally asked.
A chill danced down my spine and my blood felt as though it turned to ice in my veins.

He turned to me; his gaze felt like it leveled my heart. In that moment, I was sure that he had. My breath caught in my throat as my imagination took off.

He slowly shook his head. “No. But I almost did. We were…really close.”

My voice trembled when I spoke next. “How close is ‘close’?”

“I don’t think you really want to know the answer to that,” he said quietly.

I blinked away tears that had appeared at his answer. He was probably right.

He was quiet a moment before continuing.

“I just couldn’t go through with it. She knew I was just using her. I just wanted to stop thinking about you. I wanted to stop hurting. But I just couldn’t use someone that way.”

His words were like a mental slap in the face, though I didn’t think he meant for them to be. I’d used Caleb that way. While I’d had feelings for him, the night I’d gone to him I’d been an emotional train wreck. I’d used him to make myself feel better.

I couldn’t bring myself to think poorly of Amanda, as much as I wanted to. That would’ve been a bit too hypocritical. She’d offered comfort to Noah the same way that Caleb had offered comfort to me.

The only difference was that Noah had been strong enough to resist.

“Are you going to say something?” he asked.

I looked at him for a moment, feeling a bit helpless and not knowing what to say. “I’m glad you didn’t go through with it,” I finally said. “For just a moment there, I thought you were going to tell me that you had. The thought was almost unbearable. For the first time, I think I
really
get what I did to you. I mean, how it made you feel.”

“So do you see why I can’t stand the thought of you and Caleb even being friends?” he asked.

I nodded. For just a second, my imagination took off again. The thought of Noah in bed, naked with Amanda, his hands on her, his mouth on her, his skin sliding against hers…It was enough to make me feel a bit insane.

“I get it,” I said. “Believe me, Caleb isn’t an issue.”

“Good,” he said as his arm scooped around my back. He pulled me closer to him. “Now that we got that out of the way, let’s get on with our night.”

“What a beautiful day,” Adelaide murmured. “Isn’t it a beautiful day?”

“Sure is,” Noah said as he
straightened out the festive striped table cloth I’d dug out of Mom’s closet.

We had decided to stop by and surprise her with a Sunday afternoon picnic lunch. The weather was gorgeous and she’d been happy to get out of the house.

“I’ve always liked this park,” I said as I pulled the top of my picnic basket open. “This is one of Tyler’s favorite places.”

“It’s quite lovely,” Adelaide agreed.

The picnic area was immaculate with plush green grass. The playground was off in the distance. The shrieks of children, laughing and giggling, floated through the air. The sky was crystalline blue, a lot like the color of Noah’s eyes.

“It’s been so long since I’ve been on a picnic,” she said.

“You can thank Emory for that,” Noah said with a smile. “It was her idea. She thought you might enjoy it.”

“
I wanted to thank you for having us over for dinner,” I said as I placed a bowl of potato salad on the table. I rummaged around inside of the basket and pulled out chicken salad sandwiches and cut up fruit.

Noah took charge of the plates and napkins.

“Oh, any time!” she admonished. She narrowed her eyes at us. “I’m going to hope for the best and assume this means that the two of you finally worked out your differences?”

Noah and I exchanged a look and a small smile.

“Yes,” I said as Noah nodded. “We finally did.”

She beamed at us. “You have no idea how happy I am to hear that. Not that I’m surprised.”

I passed around the food and we got started on our meal.

“Now, Noah,” Adelaide said, “how is that father of yours treating you?
Is he working you hard?”

“
He’s a slave driver,” Noah teased. Noah had been working at his dad’s accounting firm now that he was back in town. “You know, actually, that’s another nice thing about being back in Ashton. It’s been nice to work for Dad. I’ve never really gotten to see how things work on the inside. By the time I graduate, I feel like I’ll be able to walk right into a job and feel comfortable with it. I wouldn’t have gotten this experience if I’d stayed in Hudson.”

“Now you see,” Adelaide said, “things happen for a reason. It sounds like that worked out for the best.
”

Noah had sacrificed a lot so I was happy to hear that there was an upside to it all.

“How is school going?” It was a question she asked every time I saw her.

“Can’t wait to be done with the semester,” Noah said.

“It’s going well. But I’m anxious to be done too,” I agreed.

“Are you all set for next fall?” she asked.

Noah glanced at me. I popped a strawberry into my mouth. “We register soon,” he said. “In fact, Em, we should look over everything. The course requirements for accounting and business overlap. We should try to register for a few classes together.”

I finished my bite of fruit. “That would be fun.”
Noah had now started sitting with Riley and me in Ethics. I would definitely enjoy having him in more of my classes next year.

“Ah,” Adelaide said
as a content look settled onto her face, “looking toward the future.”

Noah caught my eye and winked at me. “Yes, we are.”

“Enough about us,” I said. “How are you doing Adelaide? Are you feeling better lately?”

She scowled at me, not happy to be talking about herself. “I’m fine. Good as new.”

“No more dizzy spells?” Noah asked.

“No,” she said curtly. She dropped her gaze to her meal and became very intent on scooping up a bite of her potato salad.

Noah and I shared a look of concern. Her answer had come a little too quickly and with a bit too much force. She set about eating her meal and not meeting our looks of worry.

“You know, Grandma, if you’re not feeling well. You should really let Dad know. He could—”

“He could mind his own business,” she said airily. “Which is precisely what I suggest you do. Emory went to so much trouble putting together this lovely lunch for us. I don’t want to ruin it with unnecessary talk of my health.”

I hadn’t gone to that much trouble. I knew that wasn’t really the point.
She was simply trying to evade the question. That made me more concerned than I would’ve been had she answered outright.

“It’s okay, Adelaide. If you’re still not feeling well, you should let someone know,” I said softly.

“At my age, feeling well is all relative. My bones ache, my hearing is questionable, my eyesight is failing. But I’m not in a nursing home and I’m still in control of my faculties so I will not complain,” she said decidedly.  She turned to me. “Noah tells me Tyler is doing quite well.”

I
nodded; the discussion about her health was clearly over. “He’s doing great.”

“Good.” She turned to Noah. “Do you know what I would like to do when we’re all done eating? I’d like to go for a walk.”

“We can do that,” Noah said.

From there, we moved back into a more relaxed conversation. It troubled me that his grandma wasn’t feeling the best. But she did have a point, considering her
age; she was doing far better than most.

I was just happy to see that she was enjoying the day. Spending time with her had actually been Noah’s idea. He had mentioned he’d let her know we were back together. He thought
showing her might lift her spirits even more. I’d mentioned the picnic because I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been on one.

“Thank you, both of you,” Adelaide said. “
Getting out and spending time with the two of you, it’s a lovely way to spend the day.”

“It’s the least—”

The ringing of my phone cut me off. It was resting by Noah. He glanced down as he reached for it. A frown appeared on his face as he handed it to me. I knew before the phone was even in my hand who the caller would be.

I started to stuff the phone back into my pocket but Noah motioned to it. “You better answer it.”

I shook my head. “I don’t have to.”

“Just get it,” he said, his tone resigned.

I nodded as I complied.

“Hello?”
             

“I need my fishing rod,” Tyler announced into my ear.

I glanced at Noah. He was picking at his sandwich, pretending not to listen. Not that he could avoid it. He was only a few feet away.

“Ty,” I said brightly. “What do you need that
for?”

He made a small sound of disgust. “
Fishing
.”

“I know that,” I said. “But why do you need it right now?”

“Caleb said he would take me. But my fishing rod is in the garage,” he explained. “Can we come over to get it?”

“I’m not home. But yes, you can get your fishing rod. Ask Caleb if he remembers where the spare key is,” I ordered.

I heard muffled voices and Tyler came back on. “He remembers. So it’s okay?”

“It’
s okay. Have fun. Love you.”

“Love you too,” Tyler said.

“Caleb knows where you keep your house key?” Noah asked.

I nodded as I set my phone back down on the table.

“You’re okay with him hanging around in your house when you aren’t there?”

“He’s with Tyler,” I said patiently. “They’re just getting his fishing rod.” It wasn’t as if Caleb would snoop around. I was sure of that. Never mind that Tyler would probably not leave his side. “Do you want me to call him back and tell them they can’t use the key?”

Noah’s jaw clenched. If that’s what he wanted, he wouldn’t admit it. I was just grateful that it had been Tyler on the line. Noah wasn’t happy with the request but I was sure it would’ve been worse if Caleb had made it himself.

“Noah,” Adelaide said in a chiding voice. “Life’s too short to borrow trouble.”

He turned to look at his grandma and his expression softened.

She reached over and patted his hand. “Now how about that walk?”

I got up from the table and moved so that I was standing behind Noah. I looped my arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. I felt his tension dissolve beneath my touch.

“I think a walk sounds like a good idea,” I said.

He reached up, squeezing my hands in his. “I guess if my two favorite girls want to take a walk, we should probably take a walk.”

***

I made no secret of the fact that I was snooping around. Maybe snooping was a bit of an overstatement. I was simply checking out Noah’s house. I had driven past it with Riley, Ashton wasn’t that big. But I’d never had reason to step inside before.

“I can’t believe this place is so clean,” I said to Noah.

He laughed as he looked around skeptically. “Clean?”

“I’ve seen the inside of Drew’s car. This,” I said as I motioned to the living room, “is clean.”

There were a few dishes lying around and a stack of video games. Someone’s guitar rested against the wall and there were a few stray pieces of clothing. Overall, considering that three guys lived here, and that one of those guys was Drew, I thought the house didn’t look too bad.

“If you’re impressed with this,” Noah said, “you should see my room. It’s practically spotless.”

He slid up behind me. His arms circled my waist and I leaned back into him.

“Perfect,” I murmured as his lips drifted up and down my neck. “
Show me the way. After all of the fresh air we got at the park, I could use a nap.”

He laughed and his chest rumbled against my body. “Oh, I don’t think so,” he said as he started walking, guiding us to the back of the house. We reached a closed door and he reached past me to open it. He flipped the light switch on.

I recognized the navy comforter from his dorm room. The bed was unmade and a pile of textbooks had spilled across the floor but other than that, his room was pretty tidy.

Not that I cared.

I had other things on my mind.

I wiggled around in his arms until I was facing him. I gazed up into the blue eyes that I knew so well.

“Where are your roommates?” I asked.

He shrugged. “I’ve got no idea. But I’m guessing they’ll be gone for awhile.” He leaned forward, nipping at my collarbone.

I laughed and pushed him away.

“Are you just saying that?”

“What, that they’ll be gone for a while?” I nodded. “A guy can hope, can’t he?” His hands slid from my waist and he went to his door. “If they come back, I’m sure we’ll hear them. If not,” he pushed the button in, locking the door, “we still have privacy.”

“Do we need privacy?” I asked as I cocked my head to the side. Noah nodded as he slowly made his way toward me. His eyes scanned over me and I had the distinct feeling that he was mentally undressing me. I didn’t mind. In fact, I returned the favor.

When he reached me, I grabbed hold of his waist and moved us backward, toward the bed.

“I think I like where this is going,” Noah said. His voice was low and his eyes were lit up with desire.

The back of my knees hit the edge of the bed. “Good,” I said. “Because I feel like I’ve been waiting forever for this.”

I reached down an
d carefully lifted my shirt off, over my head. It landed at our feet. Noah’s gaze dropped down, his lips lifted in the corner as he took in the sight of my lacy bra. He reached for the button on my shorts, undid it and slowly began wedging them down. I stepped out of them and reached for his shirt. It peeled off in seconds, as did his jeans.

He pulled me to him, his hands gliding up and down my back as he held me close. When his mouth demanded to be kissed, I didn’t hesitate. His fingers set to work and my bra fell away. As his hand coasted around to the front of me, my knees went weak with anticipation.

I hoped he was right, that his roommates were gone for the day. I might just lose my mind if we were interrupted this time. I sat on the bed, edging my way back and pulling Noah with me. My finger coasted down his chest as he lowered himself down.

“I love this,” I murmured. “I love how you feel on top of me.” A delicious heat was already coursing through me. Noah’s hands began to roam over my body as his mouth began to suck and nibble, first along my collarbone, up my neck, then he sucked my bottom lip into his mouth. His teeth gently grated against it.

My hands skimmed down his back. They slid inside of his boxers and I lightly scratched my nails against his skin. He let out a soft moan as his body jerked against mine.

“Two can play at that, you know,” he warned. His hand lazily coasted down my stomach and he moved to the side. He tugged at my panties. I lifted my hips to help him out. They slid down my legs easily and he tossed them aside.

His boxers went next, the last stitch of clothing between us.

I reached for him, pulling him back to me.
My hand glided over the length of him. He closed his eyes and grit his teeth while I caressed him. He groaned as his body arched into mine. Then his eyes fluttered open and a devilish smile appeared.