SOMEONE DIFFERENT (32 page)

Well, he didn’t agree, but he didn’t disagree either, he just sat there quietly without really looking at anybody.

She made the call to some big-shot cop then, and within a few hours, everything just got sorted. I swear down, I’ve never had cops talk to me that nice. They said things like I was being ‘brave’ and doing ‘the right thing’ and ‘helping society’ – honestly, I don’t know how I kept a straight face.

It did take quite a while though, to tell them everything
, especially because I had to go through it all about four times. And the stuff about Billy, well, that was proper hard. But everybody was as nice as they could be, and Anna and her dad stayed with me the whole time.

At the end of it, and
cos Fiona was completely awesome, I ended up with a proper good deal.

The court case for the assault on Rory got dropped, and they said they’d see what they could do about my other convictions as well. There was a bit of an awkward moment when Fiona said one of them was for assault, but Anna didn’t seem to notice, thank God.

The cops told us it’d be better if she didn’t go to boarding school straight away either, cos they said she’d be safer at home ’til they’d got the right people in custody – that brought on a smile as wide as a banana boat.

So, by the time we were all done, it was about four in the morning. Anna’s dad drove us home, and although he kept quiet for most of the journey, when we pulled up outside her grandad’s house, he looked at me. ‘You ... did well,’ he said.

‘Thanks.’

‘It can’t have been easy?’

‘No.’

‘But, well, I’m sure things’ll pick-up from now on. We’ll see you tomorrow, yes?’

I nodded, and as Anna got out of the car to say goodnight, that banana boat smile made its second appearance of the night.

***

It took them about a week to do the raids. They did the warehouse and the house they lived in, and a few other places all at the same time. And it got spread over the newspapers like jam.

‘Millionaire Businessman Questioned Over Cocaine Distribution’, ‘Twelve Arrests as Drugs Ring Smashed’, ‘Police Drugs Haul Exceeds £300,000’.

And then, a few days later,
‘Illicit Drugs Importer Linked To Teenager’s Death’
.

It’d be strange, standing in the witness box instead of the dock. And I wasn’t looking forward
to it one bit, but I’d do it, cos as Anna’s grandad kept on telling me; it was the right thing.

His name was Joe, her grandad, and I proper loved staying at his house. Every morning I woke up to the smell of bacon sandwiches, and they were that big I had to share them with the dogs when he wasn’t looking. In the daytime I helped out at the yard, and Becky taught me how to jump fences and stuff on Tia. She really started to fly that horse; stopped being all up-tight and fussy with her food and that.

Anna started going to her old school again. Nobody ever really told me why, but she did, and when she got home in the afternoons, she came down to the yard, or I saw her over at her grandad’s. Her mum and dad stayed away from me mostly, which suited me fine if I’m honest. But if I did happen to see them, he usually managed to say hello, but she sometimes didn’t.

Then at night, when Anna’d gone, Joe shared these weird bottles of beer with me. They all had strange names
, like ‘Snowman’s Revenge’ and ‘Bumble Beer’ and ‘Heartbeat’. And some of them tasted a bit rough if I’m honest, but it was still dead cool; sitting there talking to him, drinking the beer, and watching the puppies get bigger and bigger.

Thing was though, all the time this was happening, I always knew it couldn’t last.

44 – Anna

Jay and I sat together on the kerb that ran along the edge of our driveway. The sun shone at its highest in the sky, but at any minute, the bank of cloud that was spreading from over our house would block it out.

He tugged gently at the zip on the hold-all next to him; repeatedly unfastening it just a little way, then closing it back up.

‘You sure you’ve got everything?’ I asked.

‘Yeah, I’ve checked it all about a hundred times. You’d think I were goin’ for three years instead of three months with all the stuff your grandad’s bought me.’

I looked at the grey stones scattered on the drive. Three months. It didn’t sound that long, did it? Twelve weeks, eighty-four days. But even when that was over, I still had no idea what might happen to him; where in the country he might go.

‘It says on their website, they don’t take people until the end of Year Eleven.’ The comment was blatantly pointless; they’d already offer
ed him a place, and it started in two hours.

‘Yeah, I know. They told us that when Be
cky took me to look round. But cos of me not really having anywhere to live, an’ cos I’m not gonna be passin’ any exams anyway, they made some special arrangement with school.’

‘Oh.’

It’s amazing, isn’t it, that people can always seem to make special arrangements when you don’t want them to, but never when you do? Without those special arrangements, he wouldn’t have been able to leave until at least July. That would have meant we had weeks and weeks left together, for it to carry on being like it had started to be: me at home, him at Grandad’s, Mum and Dad at least making an effort to be civilized towards him.

I thought I’d used them all up, my tears, over the last few nights, crying myself into a restless sleep.

But apparently not.

I brushed them away, and Jay put his arm around me. ‘It won’t be for long, Anna. I’ll be back soon, won’t I? And your grandad says I can stay with him again once the trial starts.’ He smiled. ‘I wouldn’t even be surprised if I’ve come crawling back by this time next week; they’ll probably kick me out once they see how useless I am.’

‘That’s not true and you know it. Just like I know it, and like Grandad knows it – because otherwise he wouldn’t be paying your fees. You’re going to be the best trainee jockey that college has ever seen.’

The compliment brought on its usual blush. ‘Yeah well, we’ll see. I just can’t help thinkin’, ya know, that they’re all gonna be better than me, an’ that they’ll all know what they’re doin’ an’ stuff.’

All they’re going to know is that they’re sick with envy, I thought, but before I could say it, Dad appeared from the direction of the yard.

Jay stood up, and slowly, I followed him.

‘All ready?’ Dad asked.

Jay nodded. ‘Yeah, more or less.’

‘Good. I, err ... I hope it all goes well and everything, and that you get sorted with an apprenticeship or whatever afterwards.’

‘Ta.’

‘You never know, we might even see you on TV in a few years’ time.’

‘Yeah.’ Jay tipped his head slightly. ‘Ya never know.’

‘Right, well, I’d, err, better get back then. Becky’ll only be a minute.’

Dad nodded at me before heading back to the safety of the yard.

I looked at Jay. His eyes were wide, and when I took his hand it felt hot and damp.

‘You don’t have to go, you know. You could always postpone it; start the course later in the year.’

He smiled. ‘But I do have to go. It’s been wicked bein’ here the last few weeks, Anna, honest; I’ve loved it. But I can’t keep expectin’ your grandad to let me live there rent-free, an’ I know your mum and dad are tryin’ – but you saw him just now, he’s hardly gonna be rufflin’ my hair an’ callin’ me ‘son’ anytime soon.’ He stared down and shrugged. ‘But it’s not just that, anyway – it’s me. This horsey stuff, it’s the only thing anybody’s ever told me I’m any good at. It’s the only thing that might lead to somethin’, ya know; make things better in the future ... for us both? An’ I just feel like I’ve gotta give it a go; I’m sorry.’

I reached up and hugged him so hard my ar
ms started to tingle. ‘I know, deep down, I know all that, Jay. But it’s just I’m going to miss you so badly, I can’t imagine it; not being able to hold you like this, or talk to you like this.’

He nestled his chin snugly into my shoulder and I felt him swallow. It took him a few seconds, then he said, ‘Leavin’ ya, Anna, like this, it’s the toughest thing I’ve ever had to do. But you’r
e gonna be OK, I know you are, cos I wouldn’t do it otherwise. An’ it’s not like it’s forever, it’s not even like if you were gonna boardin’ school or I were gettin’ banged-up. We can still see each other whenever we want.’

I didn’t want to be a bitch, truly, but the words just blurted out. ‘Yes, until that is, you get some stupid job in New Market, or Ascot or somewhere else that’s bloody miles away.’

He smirked. ‘See, I told ya you’d be OK.’ Then he kissed my forehead and held me again. ‘We’ll work somethin’ out, I promise.’

The sound of its roaring engine told us Becky and her Subaru were on their way round. She pulled up next to us and wound her window down. ‘Sorry to keep you waiting; Tia’s off her food again. I think she’s worried, Jay, that you’re going to forget about her and lavish all your affections on some glamorous young thoroughbred.’

They both laughed, but I just couldn’t; I knew exactly how that poor horse felt.

‘She’ll be fine. She’s come a long way lately.’ Jay paused, then turned to me. He ran his hand over my hair.
‘An’ how could I ever forget ...’ his voice caught, like it was dissolving into the air, ‘... about ... about the best thing in my life, the thing I love more than anything?’

The tears slipped down my face as he kissed me one last time, and got into the car.

‘We all set then?’ Becky said.

Slowly, Jay pulled up his hood and managed to nod.

The car scraped into gear. Jay’s eyes fixed on mine. Everything that’d happened, everything we’d ever felt for each other; it stretched between us like a cord, pulling us together.

But before either of us could say another word, the car drove off
steadily, and that cord just had to stretch; further and further. As far apart as we ever got.

I stood there for ages then, just staring – staring at that place where the drive ended and the lane began; the place where the car had disappeared from sight, but left its tracks behind.

How could thirty-five miles seem so far away? How could a few weeks feel like a life-time? I had absolutely no idea, but they did.

Eventually thoug
h, I knew I had to make a move, although I really wasn’t sure where to go. Not the house, I didn’t want to go inside – and not the yard, I didn’t really want to see anyone either. So I wandered down to one of the fields.

A longish, flat stone at the end of the dry stone wall made a solid enough seat, and I sat there, rubbing my fingers against its rough, mottled surface, and feeling the horseshoe charm on my bracelet push into the back of my hand. They seemed bigger, the fields. So did the woods, and the whole valley in fact. Stretching on and on to the horizon; towering above me on all sides.

Without warning, my eyes suddenly flicked to the house on the hillside opposite, and my chest gave a jolt. It stood empty now; boarded up and cordoned off. But it still made me shiver with sweat.

Where was he now? Not on his skiing holiday, that was for sure, and probably not back at his boarding school either. And as for Cambridge? Well, it didn’t matter how many A-stars you got – if you couldn’t afford the tuition fees, you were going nowhere.

I didn’t want to see them again – any of them – ever. But what I did want, was to be able to look across at the house and it not make me shake anymore.

He’d never asked me about it, Jay, not once. Even though his face told me he didn’t believe my story about what had happened there.

Then again, I hadn’t exactly been bursting to ask him about the violent assault his solicitor mentioned. Maybe some things were better off left alone? Maybe we did some stupid things sometimes, and we knew they were stupid, and we didn’t need anyone else to tell us that.

‘Are you alright?’

Dad sounded genuinely concerned, and as I turned to look up at his face, the sun’s rays felt warm against my wet cheeks.

‘I suppose I’ll have to be.’

He crammed his hands into his big, square pockets and twisted a little.

I looked behind him to see a house martin land on a fence post. She stayed there briefly, then hopped down and collected some hair that had fallen from the moulting horses. As she soared high up into the sky again, her mate joined her and they glided along until they disappeared underneath the eves of the stables.