SOMEONE DIFFERENT (24 page)

Would that be it? Would that be the last time I’d see her? If they banged me up for months or even years, what would she do?

She always said this’d happen, my auntie Sarah. Whenever her and my mum had a big row, she always told her she needed to sort her life out, and that if she didn’t, I’d end up being like him; lashing out, fighting, wasting my life, getting into loads of trouble and stuff. She even said it to me once, I think, just before she left; about it being a shame if I turned out like my dad. Something like that, anyway.

Well, I hadn’t turned out like him completely, not yet – but I don’t suppose I was far away. Would me being inside be enough to put Anna off for good? You couldn’t blame her if it did, I mean, she’d already put up with a lot; she couldn’t keep on letting stuff go forever. And even if she did, how long would she be able to put up with the pressure from her mum and dad? I’d given them the perfect excuse, hadn’t I? Handed them the perfect reason to hate me, and the perfect reason to stop her from seeing me.

I laid down facing the wall, curled up, and imagined Anna had her arms around me. I thought of the way her hair smelt, how she pushed it back off her face with her fingers, and how it felt when she kissed my shoulders. I thought about how she was the one thing in my life that wasn’t all messed-up; not dodgy, or fake, or dirty. And about how being with her, was the only thing I ever looked forward to.

And then I thought, if I didn’t have her anymore, I had nothing.

It got darker and darker, and it began to get quieter as well. I laid there without moving, and as the night passed slowly and I drifted in and out of sleep, it felt like that tuna fish had somehow come back to life, and it was flapping and splashing about all around my gut.

34 – Anna

Dad saw the police out and went and sat in the lounge.

I stood silently in the doorway for a second, then gritted my teeth and spoke as quietly and calmly as I could manage. ‘Can I have my phone now?’

He didn’t even glance up from his book. ‘No.’

‘Why?’

‘Because your mother and I haven’t decided what to do yet.’

‘About what?’

‘About him.’

‘
He’s
called Jay.’

Dad turned a page. He still didn’t look at me or respond in any other way.

I took a step forward. If he thought this conversation was finished, he’d got another think coming.

‘And what is it, exactly, you have to make a decision about?’ I asked.

He stroked his forehead for a second before he answered. ‘You ... and him ... what you wrote in that text; what you did.’

‘We had sex, Dad. You can say it
– I’m not a baby anymore, I’m fifteen.’

He looked at me for the first time, his face blazing. ‘Fifteen. Exactly, fifteen! That’s what I’m concerned about – in my eyes, and in the eyes of the law – you are still a child. And that boy took advantage. He shouldn’t have been anywhere near you.’

‘Don’t be so stupid. He did not take advantage.’ I stamped even closer to him. ‘It was me, Dad. Me! I wanted to. I made the decision. Jay said we didn’t have to, he said we could wait.’

‘Oh, did he really? Well, what a hero. Come on, Annabel, he’s got you completely and utterly fooled. He throws you a few lines, you
play right into his hands ...’ he shook his head and winced, ‘... literally.’

Orange flames flared in the fireplace as I glanced around. Maybe this was harder for him to accept than even I’d imagined. I sighed, trying again to keep my voice soft. ‘Dad, he’s not like that; please, listen to me. He’s honest and kind and sensitive, and he cares about me. Just give him a chance.’

‘Oh, for crying out loud, Annabel.’ He shook his head. ‘Tell that to Rory, who’s had to go to hospital and take time off school because of him – tell that to all the other people who’ve suffered because of his crimes. How can you say you’re old enough to make a decision about sex, when you’re young enough to believe a load of rubbish like that?’

‘It’s not rubbish. I know him, you don’t. He’s –’

‘He’s a deceitful, aggressive, violent thug who you will never see again. And the more I think about it, the more convinced I am that we absolutely should make a complaint to the police about what he did to you.’

I covered my face with my hands. ‘Oh, Dad; how many times? He did not do anything
to
me. We did it, together, because I wanted to. You’re just involving the police to be spiteful, to try to split us up. He’s in enough trouble because of Rory, because of everything you’ve just told the police. This is the last thing he needs; it’s not fair.’

The book snapped shut as he twisted round. ‘Annabel, let’s face some facts, shall we? The only reason he’s in trouble is because of his own actions – absolutely no one else is to blame. And yes, you’re damn right I’m going to split you up, because no daughter of mine will associate with someone like that any longer.’ He stood up and looked down at me. ‘So, in answer to your original question, that’s why you can’t have your phone back, and that’s why no matter how many more times he calls, you will not be speaking to him.’

‘What?’

He walked off towards the door.

‘You mean he’s tried to call me, and you didn’t even tell me?’

He carried on walking.

‘God, I hate you.’ I ran into the hallway and caught up with him just as Mum came in through the front door, and a frosty gust followed her.

‘Have you got one?’ Dad asked, completely ignoring me.

‘Yes, I had to drive right into town though, to the twenty-four hour chemist.’

‘Good.’ He took the white paper bag off Mum and handed it to me. ‘You need to do this, now.’

Slowly, I took the bag and looked inside. ‘A pregnancy test? Why?’

Mum tutted. ‘Why do you think?’

‘But I’m ...’ I stopped speaking as his words from earlier drifted back into my head: complaining to the police about Jay, not letting me speak to him, deliberately splitting us up.

OK then, if he wanted to behave like a spoilt child who’d been forced to share a toy, so would I.

‘Well, I’m not going to,’ I said smartly. ‘And just imagine if I am pregnant – there’ll be no skiing holidays, no show-jumping comps, no school ...’ I shoved the bag into Mum’s chest. ‘... and no bloody exam results.’

Their jaws hit the floor and bounced back up again as I spun around and headed for my room.

I locked the door and bounced on to the bed. It was a tiny victory, I knew that. And even within a few minutes of lying there, it already seemed pretty pointless. But if they were determined to take everything else away from me, what else had I got left?

35 – Jay

The alarm screeches in my ear like a fork scraping against a plate. ‘Go on.’ Billy shoves me forward – I stumble a bit in the dark, but keep going.

Using the torch in Billy’s hand, we look around. The warehouse is huge, we walk for maybe twenty seconds before we see them; over there, to our left, the long rectangular boxes that have
Ironico
printed across the side.

We pick them up; three boxes each, just like we were told.

Then it’s back to the door we’ve broken in through, but it’s so bloody dark. Bits of machinery and crates and pallets are all over the place. Every few steps we knock into or trip over something.

We’re about halfway there, the green light above the exit’s clearer.

But then another torch. Bigger and brighter; shining in our eyes.

‘Shit.’

A dim light flicks on behind him and we see the uniform ... not a cop, a security guard; totally blocking the narrow doorway.

Billy smacks into me. ‘Get past him,’ he says, and we dash forward.

The guard stands his ground though, a hand holding either side of the doorframe. We’re ducking around next to him, clambering to get through the door, but he won’t move.

A voice shouts from outside, ‘Craig, I’m comin’.’

Billy yells, ‘Shift!’ But the guard’s going nowhere. The screeching’s louder.

‘Right, now, together,’ I say. And me and Billy bulldoze forward like we’re pushing a broken-down car up a hill. He manages to hold us off, just for a second, then his fingers slip from the doorframe and he topples, falling backwards and backwards, down the steep steps outside.

The crack as his head hits the corner of the bottom step makes me sick; we didn’t mean that, we didn’t want that. But there’s no time, his mate’s running towards us. We’re down the steps and belting towards the car.

We have to make it. If Riley doesn’t get those boxes, we’re dead.

DEAD.

My eyes flipped open, and shakily, my fingers unfolded and stretched outwards.

He was dead, wasn’t he? Not in the cell next door ... not this time ...

I sat up and looked down at the sweat shining on the mattress where my head had been. Christ, we’d done all that – me and Billy, gone through all that shit – and between them, they’d killed him anyway.

And in a few hours’ time, it was his funeral.

The door opened and a cop nodded at me. ‘Come on then, mate; best not to keep the judge waiting.’

36 – Anna

I woke up holding the bracelet Jay had bought me tightly around my wrist. Mum’s voice called sharply from the hallway, and I checked my watch; normal getting-up-for-school-time. Should I go? It was the last thing I felt like, but after only a second’s thought, I decided that actually, I’d rather be there – that I’d rather be locked in a tank with a Black Mamba in fact – than trapped in the house with them all day.

I stood up and instinctively looked around for my phone, then I remembered. Oh, God; I really did hate them. What if he’d tried to call again? What would he be thinking? That I was ignoring him? That I didn’t want to see him anymore?

Hearing Jay’s voice suddenly became more important than breathing. I needed to know where he was, if he was OK, if he’d actually been sent to some horrible, nasty prison.

I slumped on
to the sofa. If he was locked up, there wasn’t much chance of that conversation happening, was there? But if he wasn’t, then he’d be at home later that night. He’d have to be, because of the curfew. So that’s what I’d do; it was the only way. At seven o’clock I’d go round there, whether they liked it or not.

The atmosphere downstairs was
as icy as the freezer section at Waitrose. Mum and Dad stood in the kitchen with their backs to the door, and although they must have heard my footsteps as I approached, neither of them even acknowledged me. I stared at the cereal bowl already laid out on the dining table, half filled with summer berries and muesli, and the glass of fresh orange juice that stood next to it. One of my coats had been selected from the cupboard in the utility room, and it lay folded neatly on the back of the chair.

Mum glanced over her shoulder, then turned away again as she spoke. ‘Tie your hair back before we leave,’ she said to me.

I watched them for a few second longer, then fetched some money from my room, and set off for the bus stop. And I made it halfway down the lane before she caught up with me. ‘What do you think you’re doing?’ she asked.

‘Catching the bus.’

‘Don’t be so silly; come along, get into the car.’

‘No.’

‘I’ll take you; I always take you.’

‘Well, today you’re not.’

She coasted along beside me as I walked. ‘Annabel, this is stupid; I’m telling you, I will take you to school.’

I stopped and faced her. ‘No
– for once, Mum, just for once – I’m telling you. And I am going into school on my own. I don’t need you to take me, I don’t need you to choose my food, or my clothes, or how I have my hair.’

She shuffled her shoulders back and clicked her tongue. ‘This is all because of him, isn’t it?’

‘Oh my God.’ I frowned. ‘What the hell’s wrong with you? Why can’t it just be because of me? Because I want to make some decisions for myself?’

She started to answer but I just couldn’t take it. I’d heard it all before; listened to it all my life. I couldn’t stand to go through it even one more time. So as the bus appeared on the main road, I whirled around, ran towards it, and never looked back.

***

‘So, apparently, she thought he’d been travelling around Asia with his cousin. But then she bumps into his Gran in Selfridges, and it turns out that actually, he’s spent his
entire
gap year with Belinda Chesterton! You remember, that girl who used to be captain of the netball team, but ...’

Sophie yakked on, Beth oohed and ahhed, and Lizzie and I followed them across the tennis courts as we walked back towards the main hall for lunch.

Even by my standards, I’d eaten hardly anything over the last twenty-four hours, and my head felt like it was filled with helium. I tried my best not to wobble too obviously, but Lizzie still stared at me strangely.

‘Are you sure you’re alright?’ she said. ‘You really don’t look well.’

‘I’m fine, honestly; just tired that’s all.’

‘But you haven’t said a word all morning, and when we lined up for P.E
. earlier, I actually thought you were going to pass-out. You can tell me you know, if something’s wrong – I promise I won’t breathe a word to anyone.’

The line markings on the tennis courts went blurry as I stared down. Maybe if we’d been somewhere else, somewhere more private, I might have told her. But I couldn’t even begin to explain it to her there. Even thinking about it all, thinking about Jay, the mess we were in, what was happening to him ... it made everything hurt.

I kept my face hidden and concentrated hard to keep on walking. Lizzie said something else, I’m sure she did, but I had absolutely no idea what, nothing around me seemed clear – not the sounds, or the sights, or even my own thoughts.

But then suddenly, something did become clear. A voice.

‘Anna.’

That gorgeous voice; that voice I loved.

My eyes searched for him everywhere. Up the driveway, across the fields ...

‘Anna.’

Where was he? I looked around again. And then finally ... finally, I gazed through the railings and out on to the road. And that’s where he was.

The strength flowed into my legs again, and I ran.

‘Anna! What are you doing?’ Lizzie shouted.

But there was no time. I aimed for the gate, raced through it, and met him on the pavement outside. His head fell on to my shoulder as my arms locked around him, and my eyes closed tightly. Except for our breathing, everything was completely silent and still. Until a second later, when his lips found mine and we kissed; a long
, heart-warming kiss. Jay hugged me again, and we stood there, holding each other, like there was no one else in the whole world.

But of course, there was.

‘Annabel Richardson!’

I turned to see Miss Welbourne gaping at us like we were naked.

‘Return to the school grounds, immediately.’

I looked at Jay. Even yesterday’s dirty, creased-up clothes, the shadows under his eyes, and the worry on his face, couldn’t mask how wonderful he was.

He smiled a little. ‘It’s OK, I don’t wanna get ya into trouble. I’ll wait ’til you’ve finished later.’

‘No.’ I shook my head, before staring back round at the teacher; I was on a roll by then, and it felt awesome. ‘No, I won’t.’

And I grabbed Jay’s hand, led him off down the road, and we giggled our way right into town.

‘I can’t believe you’re actually here,’ I said as we walked past the hospital.

‘Well, I probably shoulda gone home first and got changed, but I thought I’d have more chance of seein’ ya at dinnertime. They only let me out an hour ago ... that’s why I still look like this.’ He nodded down at his clothes.

‘I don’t care what you look like, you know that; I’m just so relieved you’re here. I couldn’t even answer your call last night because Dad kept my phone. I’ve been worried sick.’

He put his arm round my shoulder. ‘Awe, fanks,’ he said. ‘What I can’t believe is how fast them cops got there. I’m tellin’ ya, it woulda took ’em about three weeks if that call’d come from our estate.’

We both sniggered a little, but after that he went quiet. He stared straight ahead, and when a few more minutes had gone by and he still hadn’t spoken, I said gently, ‘Jay, what’s wrong – I mean apart from all the obvious stuff – is there something else?’

A weak smile crossed his face. ‘It were Billy’s funeral this mornin’; I missed it.’

‘Oh, I’m so sorry, I had no idea.’

He shrugged. ‘Yeah, well, there’s nowt I can do about it now. It’s just ...’ He stopped as he brought a packet of cigarettes and a lighter out of his pocket, then took a deep breath in as he lit one.

‘Go on,’ I said.

‘It’s just, I’ve been thinkin’ about him all mornin’. An’ it’s made me wonder, ya know ... if I oughta tell ’em, the cops ... if I oughta tell ’em about that guy an’ what happened.’

‘But you said it was too dangerous. You said they’d
–’

‘I know; it is, and they probably would. But I just feel proper bad about it. An’ if I’m gonna end up inside
– if I’m gonna end-up havin’ to leave ya anyway – what’ve I go to lose?’

I stared up at him. ‘Don’t say that, Jay. Please. We don’t know what might happen – we don’t even know for certain whether you’ll get into trouble for it, do we?’

He shook his head slowly.

‘Well then. Promise me; pr
omise me you won’t do anything ... that you’ll wait.’

He took another long drag on the cigarette.

‘Please ...?’

Jay hesitated, before nodding. ‘OK, I’ll wait.’

I relaxed then, but my hand jumped up to my stomach as it gave an enormous growl. ‘Ooops, sorry.’

‘Don’t be daft.’ Jay threw the cigarette butt away. ‘How’d ya fancy a Macky-dee, all on me?’

***

The Big Macs were almost finished – even mine – when I eventually summoned up enough courage to ask him exactly what had happened at the police station.

He wiped some mayonnaise from the corner of his mouth, then said, ‘I had to go to court this mornin’.’

‘Is that normal?’

‘Depends what you’ve done, an’ what your previous is. Because of what happened with me before, the cops at the station couldn’t decide, so it had to be a judge. The solicitor I got were shit-hot though; she said some right clever stuff, persuaded him to let me out on bail.’ He shrugged. ‘For now at least.’

‘What does that mean?’

‘It means they’ve charged me, but I’m on bail ’til next Monday. Then I have to go back to court and they’ll decide what to do next – they might adjourn it, or they might come up with a verdict on whether I’m guilty or not. If they decide I am ...’

I touched his fingers as they tapped against the table top. Jay picked his Coke up with his other hand and took a long drink in through the straw. ‘I shouldn’t have done it, should I?’

For a second, the confusion I’d felt about that since the day before showed on my face, but I made my expression change quickly, and I avoided a straight answer. ‘He was being an idiot,’ I said instead.

‘Yeah, but I din’t have to hit him, I coulda just got him away from ya. It were just when I saw your face, then you cried ... an’ it ... it reminded me of ...’