Someone Someday (All in Good Time Book 2) (12 page)

Chapter 15

I had just asked Morgan to tell me something I didn't know about him, and I could tell by his posture that he was taking the question more seriously than I did when I told him I drank some vinegar every day.

He leaned back and put his arm on the back of the couch and regarded me with a serious expression. "I guess I should tell you that I was in a serious relationship not too long ago," he said.

"You don't need to tell me that," I said. I wasn't sure why I said it. I felt a bit delirious because of his sincerity and it just came out. "I mean, are you still in one?" I asked, backpedaling a little.

"No," he said. "But it's something I thought you should know about since it might affect my behavior."

"How so?" I asked feeling sick to my stomach as visions of the supermodel passed through my mind.
How could she possibly still affect him if it was so over?

"I don't know. The girl I was involved with used to try to make me jealous or whatever, and I feel like she made me into a jealous person when I didn't used to be like that."

"Do you still want to be with her?" I asked in a casual tone as if it wouldn't bother me if the answer was yes.

He didn't hesitate when he answered. "No." He paused to think for a second, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. He sighed. "Baseball's a great game, but it's fickle and unforgiving. I hit a pretty epic slump earlier this season." He breathed a humorless laugh. "I know it doesn't seem like a big deal since it's just a game or whatever, but the pressure to preform is crazy—especially with the media and fans breathing down your neck."

"What does a slump mean?" I asked. "Just that you weren't playing good? Did you miss balls and stuff?"

He let out a little laugh. "No, I didn't miss balls—at least not out in the field." He paused. "I couldn’t hit the ball. I wasn't seeing it. And once my average started going down, then it got in my head, and—" he hesitated. "It's a very difficult thing to pull yourself out of." He looked at me and the hint of a melancholy smile touched his lips. "So, basically I went through two months of baseball hell earlier in the season, and during that time, the girl I was with decided she didn't want to be with me anymore."

"Was it because of baseball?" I asked.

Again, that sad smile played on the corner of his mouth. "Yes."

I thought about that for a second. Part of me found comfort in the fact that she was self-centered enough to leave him at a time like that, and the other part hated to hear the news that she was the one to leave and not vice-versa.

"I thought you were going to tell me you broke up with her because she was mean and ugly and you thought it was a big mistake to be with her in the first place," I said.

That made him smile more genuinely. "I was too busy with my own stuff to realize how wrong she was for me or I would have done it first," he said.

I knew he was just saying it to make me feel good, but it sort of worked. "I have a confession to make," I said.

"What?"

"I searched your name on Google the night we met. I ran across some photos of you and her." I glanced at him. "I assumed you guys were still together. I thought I'd never even see you again… unless I saw you in passing at the gym or whatever."

"We're definitely not together," he said.

We sat there for a few seconds.

"I'm sorry that happened to you," I said. "Especially during a hard time like that."

"It's okay. Hard times have a way of bringing out our true colors."

"If it makes you feel any better, I have issues too."

He leaned back. "What issues?"

I shrugged. I was so used to brushing things off like they were no big deal that it was incredibly uncomfortable for me to even admit I had issues, much less elaborate.

"Remember what Zack was saying in the truck about me being elusive or whatever?"

"Yeah."

"Well it's true, but it's not just because I like to play hard to get." I paused, trying to come to terms with how much I wanted to say. "I had a not-so-pleasant experience with a guy in my past and ever since then, I've sort of just, you know, lost interest or whatever."

We stared at each other for a few seconds, both of us young and fresh on the outside, but a bit broken on the inside.

I shrugged. "I'm not ready to go into the details or anything, but honestly, I could pretty much care less whether or not I end up in a relationship."

"You mean like ever again?" he asked.

I nodded stiffly. "That's sort of where I've been."

He took a deep breath. "I don't know what to say, Lexi."

"You don't have to say anything. I'm just trying to tell you that it's okay for us to be friends. Maybe we both just need a friend right now."

"I definitely wasn't trying to say I only wanted to be your friend," he said. "That's not why I told you about her."

He was clearly saying he wanted more than friendship with me, and I just couldn't bring myself to respond in the way I wanted to. It was the first time I'd been attracted to a guy since the rape, and I wanted to throw caution to the wind and go for it, but I couldn’t do it. He deserved so much better than me. I was scarred and had baggage, and who knows, maybe I was even carrying some sort of STD.

"Well, what if all I can offer you is friendship?" I asked, even though it pained me.

"Are you saying you don't like me in that way?" He seemed slightly confused. We both knew I'd been giving him mixed signals.

"I like you, Morgan. Who wouldn't like you? I'm just saying that I have baggage. You have baggage too. I think it's better that we keep it at friendship level—at least for now."

He ran his hands over his face. "I guess I'll take what I can get," he said.

We sat on the couch for the next two hours talking about our likes and dislikes and all the things that made us tick. We talked about my plans for the coffee shop. I told him I was looking at converting a nearby house, but I carefully avoided the subject of money or how I was planning on financing everything.

I had such a wonderful time talking to Morgan that, several times during the conversation, I was mad at myself for telling him we needed to remain friends. I stared at him as he spoke, wanting nothing more than to reach out and touch his face. He was so beautiful that I felt an indescribable pull to touch him. I wanted to cup the palm of my hand around his jaw. I wanted to put my lips on his.

"Did you?" he asked. He said it as if he was asking for the second time. I'd been spacing out thinking about how badly I wanted to touch him that I hadn't heard the question.

"I'm sorry, I didn't hear you," I said. "I think I'm getting tired."

He glanced at the clock on the DVD player. "It's almost midnight," he said. "I need to get going."

"I really enjoyed talking to you," I said. "Thanks for hanging out."

He smiled and stretched his arms over his head. "I had fun too," he said.

I could see the muscles of his arms and chest flex through his shirt and I wanted to take back everything I said about not being ready for a relationship.

"Do you think you can make it to the ballpark tomorrow night?" he asked.

"I have to work out," I said. "And then I have to work at Miller's the next two nights."

"How about you just send me a text when you think you can make it," he said, "and I'll leave tickets."

"An open invitation?"

He looked right into my eyes for a few long seconds. "In more ways than one."

I felt like I wanted to melt—just turn into a big pile of goo. We both stood up so I could walk him to the door. We hadn't talked about it at all during the last two hours, but I was thinking about all he'd said about baseball and how hard it was, and felt like I wanted to ring his ex's neck for leaving him when he was struggling.

"Hey Morgan," I said. "I think you're a great baseball player."

"Thanks," he said, smiling.

"I mean it," I said. "I'll bet it's hard, and I'm proud of you for going out there every night."

He continued to smile. "No guts no glory, right?"

I shrugged. "So they say."

He reached out to tuck some of my hair behind my ear, and when he did, an electrical jolt went shooting through my body. I knew what I was feeling. I knew it was my body telling me that I wanted him. I turned my head just enough to break contact with his fingers.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"It's fine. I'm fine. It just tickled for a second." I smiled up at him. "I'll text you when I can make a game," I said.

"You can text me other times too," he said. He reached out and barely pinched my arm with his knuckles.

"Bye, Lexi."

"Bye, Morgan."

I walked him to the door and watched as he climbed down the stairs and got into his truck. I waved once he turned his headlights on even though I wasn't sure if he could see me. I instantly went to my room and collapsed onto my bed. I stayed there for several minutes, thinking about everything we said and replaying different parts of our conversation.

I honest-to-goodness felt like I was in love with the guy. I smiled at myself for being so silly. I went from being unable to have any feelings at all for a guy to falling head over heels in love with the first guy who caused a spark. I told myself it was because he'd been with that beautiful supermodel girl and I felt a sense of challenge, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized she had nothing to do with it.

My phone was in the living room, but my apartment was tiny, so I was able to hear it when it vibrated a few minutes later. I figured only one person would be texting me this late, so I ran into the living room to get it. It was a text from Morgan and I squealed with excitement before I even looked at it.

Morgan: "Maybe the timing's bad right now, but I think we'll get there eventually."

I read it in the living room and then ran back into the bedroom where I read it again before collapsing onto the bed with my phone on my chest. I held it in front of me for a while, trying to come up with something to say back.

Me: "I hope so."

No. That was too much. I pressed delete and retyped.

Me: "You think so?"

I pressed send before I could reconsider, and I heard back from him within seconds.

Morgan: "Yes I do."

Me: "I'm afraid I don't deserve your patience."

Morgan: "I'm afraid you're stuck with it."

I squealed and grasped the phone to my heart again before rereading the text.

Me: "Thank you for a super fun evening. I'm going to bed happy."

Morgan: "I'm happy too. Night."

Me: "Night."

I reread the whole string of texts a few more times before showering and going to bed. I wasn't able to fall asleep until almost 2am. I thought about the game and how proud I was every time the crowd cheered for him. I thought about how much fun I had hanging out with his parents and replayed Morgan's jealous reaction to Zack in the clubhouse. I thought about everything we said on the couch a little while ago—the way we talked about baseball, coffee, music, books, animals, and even God.

Morgan said he trusted God to open all the right doors in his life and shut all the wrong ones. I told him I really didn't know much about trusting God, but the more I thought about it, the more appealing the idea was. Zack and Laney had been trying to get me to see God's hand in my life for a long time, and now it was starting to be undeniable. I could see by Morgan's reaction that it was important to him. I knew deep down that it was important to me too, and I found myself feeling happy that we were on the same page. Maybe he'd been on that page for a while and I was just getting there, but we were both there now, and I was more thankful for that than I could have ever imagined. Something in my soul just felt right about a man who loved God. Something in my soul felt right about me loving God.

Morgan was smart and levelheaded—just a rock solid human being. He was tough but gentle, kind, and extremely funny on top of being talented and gorgeous.

I was done for.

There was no doubt that I wanted him. But knowing you want someone, and thinking it might actually work out were two different things. I knew he'd feel differently about me once he heard the news that I was raped, and that hung in the back of my mind like my own little skeleton hanging in a closet. I pictured it—a lanky little bony skeleton dangling there, just waiting for the right time to scare him off. I drifted to sleep that evening riding a rollercoaster of emotions.

Chapter 16

I had to work the morning shift at J.D.'s, and unlike the day before, Morgan didn't come by. I didn't expect him to, but I still glanced at the door every time someone came in just in case.

J.D. was there that morning, and we talked quite a bit about my plans to open a coffee shop. I had been open with him about it. I told him the location was far enough away that we wouldn't have to compete for business, and he'd been supportive and open with information and ideas. He was so thankful that I didn't leave him in the lurches when everyone else quit on him that I'd been the object of his affection since then. J.D. didn't roast his own beans, but he was knowledgeable about the process and was willing to give me advice. He had friends in the business who could teach me more, so before I left work that day, he set up a time for me to meet them and get some hands-on experience with a roaster.

The coffee shop was busy that morning, so between making drink orders and talking to J.D., I hadn't had a chance to look at my phone at all. I clocked out at 2pm and fished it out of my purse while I was still standing in the back office.

There were 4 texts and a voicemail, and most of them were from my sister. I looked at the texts first. Three of them were from Laney, but one was from Morgan, and, of course, I read the one that was from Morgan first. I clicked on his name and blinked, focusing on the screen. It had come in at 10am that morning.

Morgan: "No reason for my text other than to say good morning. I just got to the field for practice and wanted you to know I was thinking about you."

The text had come through so long ago that I knew there was no point about responding right away. I went to the texts Laney had sent and read them one by one.

Laney: "I know you're at work, but call me when you go on break. I'm DYING to know!

Then the second one, which had come in not even a minute later.

Laney: "I guess I should clarify. I'm dying to know about Morgan Turner! Zack told me about the game last night. Why didn't we know you were talking to a Giant?!? This is huge, Lexi. Call me. Or text."

Then, her last message, which had come in just an hour ago.

Laney: "You're torturing me over here! What time do you get off?????"

I didn't even listen to her voice message because I figured it was more of the same. I called her back and held the phone to my ear.

"What took you so long?" was how she answered the phone.

I laughed. "I'm sorry. We were busy and I talked with J.D. a bunch about roasting. What's up?"

"What's up?" she asked incredulously.

I laughed again. "I'll be home in ten minutes. I'll come over and we can talk in person."

"Okay," she said. "Lexi?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you like him?" I paused, thinking about how to put my feelings into words. "Yeah, what's not to like? But there's a lot—I'll talk to you about it when I get there."

"Okay, love you." she said.

"Love you too."

I walked in Laney's backdoor, through her kitchen, and into her living room where I found her sitting on the couch with the little peanut lying beside her on one of his plush blankets.

"Is he awake?" I whispered.

She smiled and nodded, and I crossed the living room to say hello to him. He was staring up at the ceiling and I stuck my head into his line of vision.

"Hey there Henry!" I said in a cooing baby tone. "How's your day?" I paused and he just stared blankly at me. "Did you help mama with the housework?" Another pause with no response. "Did you guys make a window?" I stared at him again, but obviously Laney couldn’t take it any longer.

She reached out and pinched my arm. "Okay, little missy. I have to know what's going on," she said in a soft voice for Henry's sake.

I glanced at her to find that she was staring at me with an excited expression, waiting for some news. "What did Zack tell you?" I asked, settling in on the couch on the other side of Henry. I carefully reached out for him and lifted him into my arms. "Come see your Nanny," I cooed.

"He said you got to the game last night and one of the players left tickets for you at will call. Then you found your seats and they were next to that same player's parents—and those parents acted like you were old friends." She paused, but all I did was smile at her and wait for her to continue. "Does this sound right so far?" she asked.

I nodded.

"Then you went down to some super-secret dungeon area where only the players were allowed and the player in question got really jealous about you being there with Zack until he realized he was your brother-in-law!" Her eyes got wider and wider and she recounted the whole thing as if she couldn’t believe it.

I giggled again and glanced down at Henry who was staring up at me. "It sounds like your daddy told a pretty accurate story," I said in baby talk.

This made Laney squeal quietly and reach out to push at my knee. "What the heck's going on?" she asked.

We were extremely close and had always shared everything. My sudden unwillingness to talk about it must have been hard for her. The curiosity was killing her, I could tell. I didn't know where to begin. I took a long, deep breath and tried to remember what the beginning had been.

"His name's Morgan. I met him a few weeks ago at the gym. He needed a ride home one night, and we ended up hanging out. He bought me a taco on the way home and then he asked if I wanted to stop by his parent's house for a slice of pie. Then I dropped him off at his house thinking that was the last I'd see of him. I mean, we got along good and everything, but as soon as I got home, I looked him up on the internet and saw that he was engaged to some model." I shook my head slightly, trying to clear the vision of her from my mind. "Anyway, I chalked it up to chance meeting until he came into J.D.'s yesterday morning asking me to go to a game."

She was quiet for a little bit, thinking about everything I'd just said. "Is he still with that girl?"

"No. He told me about her last night. She left him a few months ago when he was going through a slump."

"You mean a baseball slump?" she asked.

I nodded.

"She broke up with him for doing bad in baseball?" she asked, looking confused.

"I think so," I said. "It's crazy because he's such a good person—a genuinely good person.

"And they were engaged to be married?"

I cringed inwardly at the question but just nodded.

"What a…" Laney hesitated, searching for the word. "What a mean person!"

I let out a little laugh at her choice of insult, and we both sat there for a few seconds while I stared down at Henry, making faces and trying to make him smile.

"Wonder why he waited so long to get in touch?" she said, finally.

"Oh, he was traveling with the team," I said. "They leave town for like ten days at a time."

"That's crazy. How long is the season?"

"It ends in a few days, actually. He'll be off till February when he leaves for spring training."

"Oh my goodness, they play from February to October?" she asked, using her fingers to calculate how many months that was. "That's forever!"

"No kidding."

"Do you think you could do it?" she asked.

"Do what?"

"You know, be in a relationship with someone who was gone so much?"

"I'm not getting in a relationship with him."

"Why not? Zack said he could tell he liked you, and I thought you said he was a good person."

"He is a good person, but I, I still have issues, you know? He has issues too. We talked about it last night when he brought me home and decided we'd be better off as friends."

She scowled a little bit, and I could tell she was wondering if it was him who decided that. I could see the protectiveness in her features. "I hope you didn't tell him what happened to you and he decided—"

I cut her off. "I didn't tell him that, Laney. I can't tell him that. But that was one of the main reasons
I
decided we should stay friends."

I stared down at Henry with a huge smile, trying to ignore my feelings.

"Lexi, you're gonna have to trust someone someday."

"Well, not Morgan, huh?" I said as if I were talking to Henry.

"Why not?"

I looked at Laney with an expression that said she should face the facts. "Because he's too good. He's too good for me without the baggage much less with it."

I didn't even mention my fears about having an STD. It was something I'd never spoken about and didn’t plan on starting now.

"You sound just like me with Zack, Lexi." Laney reached out and put her hand on my arm and I glanced at her. "It's not healthy, this fear that we have that we're not good enough. It's not true and you need to deal with it so you can move on with your life and have everything God's giving you." I glanced back at Henry, but she continued, "I think Mom did it to us," she said. "I think we were raised to think we deserved just so much and no more, and it's not true." She shook my arm, prompting me to look at her again. "You're an amazing young woman," she said. "You're kind, outgoing, honest, loyal, and absolutely beautiful."

I smiled at her sweet words, but one of them caused a stabbing sensation to hit my chest. Honesty. I was normally an honest person, but her words made me remember everything I'd lied to Morgan about. I thought about him not knowing I had money and the fact that I led him to believe Laney and Zack covered April's tuition when he asked me about it. I considered how I hadn't told him anything about the rape.

"I haven't been honest with him," I said.

"I know. You said you hadn't told him about what happened to you, but you'll find the right time, and if he's truly a good person, he'll love you in spite of that."

I let out a helpless laugh. "He has no idea I won the lottery."

She cocked her head at me and made a disbelieving face. "Why would you not tell him that?"

I shrugged. "Because I’m pretty private about it. You know that. No one at the gym even knows, and I guess since I met him there, I just didn't mention it." I paused. "He knows about my plans to open a coffee shop, but I guess he just thinks I'm going to have to take out loans or whatever. It feels really weird keeping it from him because we've had these long, meaningful conversations, but I just never found a good time or way to bring it up."

I glanced at her to find that she was shaking her head. "You've got to start letting people in, Lex. I get it that you have trust issues or whatever, but I think you'd regret it if you let this one slip away because of them."

I stayed there for a little while longer, talking with Laney and playing with Henry. It was nearly 4pm when I remembered I'd never sent Morgan a response to his earlier text. Laney was in the kitchen and I was sitting on the couch next to a sleeping Henry when I typed out a text.

Me: "I had a busy morning at work and have been hanging out with the little munchkin since I got off. Thanks for the sweet text. Your good morning wish worked. Work was good, and I got to talk to my boss about the art of roasting beans. I'll be at boxing class tonight, but I'll be thinking about you and hoping you have fun at work. Kick some butt for me."

I read it before I sent it and almost erased the part about thinking about him, but decided to keep it in there. I pressed send and set my phone on the couch next to me. It vibrated within seconds.

Morgan: "Kick some butt for me at boxing class too."

I stared at it wondering why the short response bothered me.
What was I expecting—a profession of love when I'd been the one who wanted distance in the first place?

I typed out another text.

Me: "I will. See you soon."

I included two emojis, one of an arm flexing its bicep muscle and another one of a heart. He text me right back.

Morgan: "You know where to find me."

I didn't send a text back after that. I decided it wasn't fair to him to continue the push-pull until I decided how I felt and how much I was willing to share with him. I gingerly picked up Henry and put him in his bassinette before tiptoeing into the kitchen.

"I have class tonight and work at Miller's the next two nights, but I was thinking we could go to a Giants game after that. They only have a few more this season, and I told Morgan I'd try to catch one. I think you should bring Henry and come with me. It's fun."

"I don't see why we couldn’t do that," she said. "I could just bring a blanket and nurse him there if I need to. Can you get three tickets so Zack can come too?"

I nodded. "I'm sure I can."