Someone to Love (5 page)

Chapter Eight

Spencer

O
ur entire car
trip remains quiet as we make our way through downtown Louisville. Heading toward Lexi’s apartment, I watch as the lights of this big city zoom past. It’s so different here than back home, it would be dark and quiet by now. I glance over and gaze at Lexi, watching how the colors play over her face and wondering what she’s thinking while she chews on her bottom lip.

Damn her and that lip.

I wish she would stop doing that, it makes me want to ask her to pull this car over and take her into my arms. I can’t do that, though, because as of today, we are starting over. Meaning, we start at the beginning. It doesn’t mean that the connection I feel for her is any less. She still drives me crazy and every time I’m near her, I feel those walls I’ve built crumbling a little more.

I can hear Tucker’s words to me as I look upon her.
Talk to me if you want. Or if you’d rather, talk to Lexi. Either way you need to talk to someone about what’s bothering you. Just be honest with her. What do you have to lose?
I feel like I can trust Lexi with the past. I just don’t know that I’m ready to open myself up to all of that pain again.

Maybe opening up a little and telling her about Tessa would help her to understand why I have nothing to offer her. Vance? Yeah, well, that is another story all together. And one that I’m still not ready to think or talk about. His betrayal hurt so much more than Tessa’s ever could have. I wonder what Lexi would think of me having an identical twin? If I take the leap with her, and let her in, I’ll eventually have to tell her.

Could she tell us apart if she ever saw us together?

Turning back to watch the road, I wrestle with the thoughts in my mind. My biggest concern is trusting her not to shatter my already broken heart.
Am I strong enough to put myself out there for her?
I promised her dad I wouldn’t break his baby’s heart, and I’m a man who keeps his promises. It doesn’t help that he’s bigger than me and scares me just a little.

Having dinner with everyone tonight really makes me miss my family all the more. I miss my mom and dad, but haven’t been back home since that night. I know that I can’t give a hundred percent to anyone until I come to terms with what happened between my brother and Tessa. Hopefully one of these days I’ll be ready. Especially, since I want to move forward with Lexi.

Before I know it, we’ve arrived at her apartment. Grabbing my bag, I climb out of her little car and stretch my legs. It wasn’t like it was that far, but damn, her car wasn’t made for tall people. The hour and a half drive to Cave City tomorrow is going to be a bitch. After I can feel my legs again, I follow Lexi through her door.

She drops her purse and keys on the counter and kicks her heels off before bending over and picking them up.
Fuck me
,
what a view.
Her dress barely covers her ass and I’m really wishing a gust of wind would sweep through her kitchen. Spinning around, she catches me staring and I watch her lips quirk up in a sexy little smirk.
She did that shit on purpose.

“I’m going to go change, make yourself at home,” Lexi says, before darting down the hallway into her bedroom.

This may not have been the brightest idea. Resisting her is going to be hell, especially since I’ve already experienced what having her under me is like. I head to the bathroom to change out of my dress clothes and into some shorts and T-shirt. When I get back in the living room, Lexi still isn’t there. I drop my bag beside the couch before making myself as comfortable as I can, and anxiously wait for her to come back.

Lord, help me if she is wearing those shorts again.

“You want to play a game?” Lexi asks as she walks from her room toward the kitchen.

“Depends, what kind of game you have in mind,” I reply.
I’m almost afraid of what her answer will be.

I watch as Lexi looks through a drawer and pulls something out before she turns and faces me, placing the item behind her back.
Thank the Lord she’s not wearing those little shorts again.

With a sexy little smirk on her lips, she walks toward me and I can see the mischievous glint in her eyes.

What is she up to?

“What’s wrong, Spencer? You look… concerned,” She says as she stops right in front of me.

Fuck!
I just know she is going to be the death of my self control. How in the hell am I ever going to keep things between us platonic?
When she’s near my body comes alive and screams out for hers.

“What are you up to, Lexi?”

“Nothing, I just wanted to know if you were interested in playing a little game with me.”

“You gonna tell me what kind of game it is you want to play?”

That damn little smirk of hers is going to get us both in trouble.
Her hands are still behind her back, concealing whatever it is she got out of that drawer.
What the hell could she be holding? What do women keep in their kitchen drawers?

* * *

Lexi

Oh yes, I know I’m not playing fair. I also have no intentions of doing so. Being a good girl isn’t going to get me what I want. If I intend to have it all with Spencer, I have to get him to open up to me. I need him to trust me enough to tell me what it is that holds him back.

What better way, than to get him to play a game with me? He looks so concerned about what I’m suggesting. I don’t know if he’s more worried about what I want to play or what’s behind my back. What do men think we keep in our kitchen drawers?
Sex toys, probably
. That thought makes me snort a little and Spencer looks even more leery now. This is hilarious! He is really eyeing my arms.
Oh dear Lord, he probably thinks I’m about to drop a dildo in his lap.

“Stop playing, Lexi. What’s behind your back?”

I can’t help it, I burst out laughing. The look on his face right now is priceless. It’s a mixture between intrigue and fear.
I am so bad.
I can’t even answer him right now. I bring my arms around and Spencer leans back on the couch further, like he’s going to escape from whatever I’m holding.

“Here,” I say as I hold out a deck of cards. The relief on his face is immediate and draws another laugh from me.

“Cards? Seriously? That’s what you want to play?” He says as a slow smile tips the corners of his mouth.

“Yes, what did you think I wanted to play?”

Hmmm… Wonder what he’d do, if I say strip poker.

“Well hell, Lexi, I don’t know. And I wasn’t about to guess.”

Smart Man.

“So here is what we’re going to do,” I say as open the box to pull the stack out. I begin to shuffle the cards and then spread them out on the table. “We will both draw a card, the number on that card will be how many questions the other has to answer. You can only pass on one question. Got it?”

“What about face cards?” Spencer asks.

“We won’t use them, just number cards so that will be between two and ten questions.”

“I hope you get a small number then,” Spencer mumbles and I pretend not to hear him. I know he’s uncomfortable with this because he has no idea what I’m going to ask.

“Draw a card,” I tell him as I reach to get mine. Looking at my card I see it’s a five.

I turn it to show him as he holds up a three to show me.
Looks like we’re both getting off easy.

“So, who goes first?” He asks a little hesitantly.

“You can go first. I’m an open book,” I reply with a smile that I hope reassures him, somewhat.

“How did you and Brenna meet?”

Seriously, he can ask me anything and this is what he asks
. I think he’s doing this hoping I’ll go easy on him, if he does on me.

“We met Freshman year, we had a few classes together, and we hit it off right away. We also lived across the hall from each other in the dorms. We did the whole frat parties and trying to get into bars for most of that year. It’s really a miracle either of us passed. Next question.”

“Do you have any brothers or sisters?”

“I have an older brother. He’s in the Marines and I will be glad when he’s back home, safe,” I answer and wait for his next question.

“How many guys have you been with?”

I can tell he wants to grab that question and put it back in his mouth by the look of shock on his face.

“Hmmm…well let’s see,” I say as I start acting like I am really thinking hard and ticking off the number of guys on my fingers before shaking my head and starting over. I watch Spencer from under my lashes and his eyebrows are pulled down and his lips are thinned out.
Oh, he’s so easy
. “Three, counting you, did you want names too?”

“Um, no, I don’t. I shouldn’t have asked that.”

“Well, too late now. My turn.” I grin at him as I think about what to ask first. I only have five, I’ve got to make them good.

Chapter Nine

Spencer

I
can’t believe I
asked her how many men she’d slept with.
What the hell was I thinking?
Oh wait, that’s right, I wasn’t. Now it’s her turn to ask me whatever she wants. If I pass on one, there is no telling what she may ask me next, so I must choose wisely.

“Do you have any siblings?” She asks.

Well fuck, should I pass on this one?
“I used to have a brother. Next,” I reply with an edge to my voice. I don’t want to talk about my so called brother.

Lexi has a surprised look on her face. I guess my voice was a little harder than I realized.

“How did you meet Tucker?”

“I met him by chance when I was coming through town. I had stopped at the store to fill up with gas and get some food, when I overheard him talking about needing some help in his shop. Since I had experience, I approached him and introduced myself. He gave me the job on the spot and even helped me find a place to live that same day. I’ve been there ever since. The rest is history.”

“Did you go to college?”

“Yeah, I went to community college in Bowling Green,” I answer.

“What happened to your brother?” Lexi asks quietly.

This is one question I cannot answer for her. I would rather her think the worst than to know what really happened. I’m not ready to go through that yet. “Pass.” I tell her, knowing whatever she asks now I have to answer.

I see the disappointment written all over her face. I wish I could tell her. I know I need to talk to someone about it, but it still hurts too fucking much.

“I’m sorry, Lexi. I just need you to please understand that I can’t talk about that right now. I’m sorry,” I say as I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, hoping to reassure her that we are still okay.

“It’s okay, I really do understand. I want you to know that when you’re ready though, you can talk to me, Spencer. I’d never betray your trust or judge you.”

“Okay, now hit me with your last question.”

“What did she do to you?” She asks.

This isn’t the first time she’s asked this question and now there is no avoiding it. This right here, I think I can tell her without mentioning Vance.

“We’d been together almost five years. She went to college in Tennessee and was home for her birthday. I was running late getting to her house, because I was working overtime preparing for our future. When I finally got to her party, I couldn’t find her anywhere. Someone said she’d gone to her room, so I headed there to surprise her. I opened her bedroom door, I found her naked astride another guy. I was so upset that I left town that night and never returned. I’ve never told anyone else that, Lexi.”

“Oh my God, Spencer, that’s horrible. I’m so sorry that happened to you. Thank you for trusting me with that piece of your past.”

As I meet her eyes, I don’t see any judgment or pity there. All I see is hurt and anger. Her eyes are glassy. I can tell she is hurting for me.
She feels my pain.
I pull her to me without any thought and hold her tight against me.

This woman right here is breaking down my fortress and lowering every shield I have protecting my heart.

“Spencer,” She whispers into my neck.

God, how I love to hear my name on her lips, I love that she calls me Spencer. All my life most people have called me Spence. But I never want her to call me anything but Spencer, especially in moments like this.

“Yeah?” I whisper back.

“I want to show you how to open your heart again.”

“I think I would like that, Lexi. No promises. Just one day at a time.”

I feel her nod before she replies, “Baby steps.”

* * *

Lexi

This is home. Right here, wrapped in Spencer’s arms is where I want to stay forever. It’s kind of crazy that it’s only been a week since we met, but I know he is my forever. I can feel it with every ounce of my being. I’ve never even remotely felt this connection with anyone I’ve ever met. It’s just like my mom said it would be.

“Mama, how will I know when I’ve met the one?”

“You’ll just know, Alexia. When you’re in their arms you will feel it in your bones. You will know when you’re home. If it’s real then no matter where you are in the world, once you’re in their arms, it’ll feel like home.”

“Is that how it was with you and Daddy?”

“Yes, baby, that’s exactly how it was then and still till this day.”

It seems like so long ago when we had that conversation, even though it was just before I left for college. My mom sure knows what she’s talking about, because I feel exactly that.

Leaning back I look into Spencer’s eyes, I place my hands on his cheeks and lean in to brush a soft kiss against his lips… A sweet kiss that is meant to help heal his battered heart. Neither of us tries to deepen it, we just enjoy the moment before I break contact and snuggle back into his neck.

We stay like that for a long time before I let out a yawn. I could sleep right here, but doubt it’d be too comfortable for Spencer. He lets out a little chuckle before lifting me into his arms and walking toward my bedroom.

Once in my room, Spencer pulls back the covers with one hand, climbs in the bed, and then pulls me closer to him, before covering us up. I snuggle in as close to him as I can, falling asleep quickly wrapped in my new home… his arms.

* * *

I know I’m alone in my bed before I ever open my eyes. Spencer’s warmth is gone. Cracking my eyes open, I look around my bedroom and see he’s not in here at all. I throw back the covers and get out of my bed to go in search of him. As soon as I step into the hallway, I hear the shower running.
I need to pee really bad and brush my teeth. I wonder what he’d think if I just walked in there and took care of business?
Hmmm… What to do?
I step up to the bathroom door and try the knob and find that he left it unlocked.

Stepping through the door, steam assaults me, and the sound of the water is definitely not helping my bladder at all. Quickly taking care of business, I flush the toilet, grab my toothbrush, and spread the toothpaste on it before turning on the faucet.

“Fuck!” Spencer hollers before pulling the curtain back enough to glare at me.

I shrug at him and grin around my toothbrush. Leaning my butt against the vanity and staring at the shower curtain.
Damn, I should’ve gone with a clear one.

When I finish brushing, I begin to rinse the sink out, grinning the whole time, before I flush the toilet again just to see if he’ll throw the curtain open all the way this time.

“Dammit, Lexi, are you trying to scald me?” He yells again.

Reaching out I grab the shower curtain and jerk it back. “What?” I ask with as much innocence as I can muster.

“Did you really need to flush twice?”

Spencer doesn’t bother to hide himself from me and I take full advantage of seeing his wet, naked body all at once.
Holy mother trucker he is one fine piece of male specimen.
I want to lick him from his perfectly chiseled face all the way down his body.

My eyes leave his face and begin their journey across his broad shoulders, to his muscular arms, across his chest, then down his defined abs, before finally settling on that damn sexy v. My eyes follow the trail of hair down to his very impressive, thick cock that is swelling before my eyes.
Yum, he manscapes.
Letting my eyes linger a little longer than necessary, I hear a groan from Spencer that snaps me out of my trance and continue my journey the rest of the way down his body. His legs are just like I thought they would be, all muscle. A good strong foundation to hold up all his sexiness.

Oh yes, my eyes need to see all this in reverse.

When I reach his face again, his eyes are burning with desire and his jaw is so tight I think he may break it. I grin at him then reach for the shower curtain again and begin to slowly pull it back closed. When there is just enough room for him to still see my face, I give him a wink and close it the rest of the way.

“Too bad you wanted to start all over at the beginning, or we could totally save water,” I say before opening the door and stepping back into the hallway. I’m pretty sure he growled at me right as the door clicked shut.