“I mean it! Search for videos of sprinters running in slow motion. They look like they’re leaping over and over again. It’s practically ballet. Do the same with distance runners. Notice how they move their arms and hold their bodies. Running isn’t just practice. It’s form.”
William stared, not having expected to get such useful advice. Or for running to be described as if it were art. “Okay,” he managed. “Thanks.”
“No problem.” Kelly’s eyes darted over him again, reassessing. “Shouldn’t you be focusing on your strength? You don’t want to fall behind.”
“Swimming?” William smiled. “I do that every morning. I’m not going to forget how.”
One corner of Kelly’s mouth tugged upward. “Where do you practice? The school doesn’t have a pool. Do you fill up one of those plastic kiddie pools to flail around in?”
“Something like that.” Guy banter! This was progress, but also unfamiliar territory, so he started rambling. “There’s a public pool down the road. They set aside certain hours for the school. Not in the morning though, which is when I like to swim, but the YMCA not far from here opens nice and early. Um… Thanks for the pointers. I gotta get to work now.”
“Wow,” Kelly said, cocking his head. “When do you find time to sleep?”
“That’s what class is for.” William winked, surprising even himself. “See you around.”
He turned and strolled back toward the school, feeling a bounce in his step. The encounter had felt good. Worryingly good? No, of course not. He simply felt proud of himself for making peace. That’s all. Nothing more to it. Still, as he headed toward the locker room, he couldn’t help whistling a happy tune.
Chapter Two
The world was still soft and gentle in the early hours of the day, untouched by the chaos of activity that would follow. William loved mornings, preferring to be up by five and out the door half an hour later. His parents and his brothers thought he was crazy, all of them preferring to sleep as late as possible. Most people seemed to agree with his family, which was just as well since it kept the mornings private. The world was a different place then—quieter, slower, and somehow fresher. The cool air hadn’t been filled by the daily dose of exhaust fumes, the grass still wet from bathing in dew. William often left the house early enough that he could walk to school and enjoy it all.
Or ride his bike, which was what he decided to do today. With the triathlon coming up, he figured he might as well start training for all three legs of the race. And speaking of legs, his weren’t happy with the additional exercise, so he pedaled slowly and coasted where possible. William cycled first to the YMCA. He no longer needed to show his annual pass to the woman behind the counter. Or wait his turn for a lane once he had changed into his Speedos, because as usual, he had the indoor pool all to himself. He didn’t bother with a swim cap or goggles today, unconcerned with speed and preferring to reach a steady rhythm. Usually he counted each lap, making sure he reached his goal. Today he listened to his body, letting it tell him when it was finished. He reached that point and pushed himself beyond it, unwilling to leave the cool comfort of the water. Eventually he slowed to a wade. The sound of water churning continued, echoing off the walls and ceiling of the pool area. William turned and saw that the lane next to his was occupied.
The body moving through liquid was slender, dark, and vaguely familiar. Or maybe William was getting paranoid, because Kelly couldn’t be here. Right? He glanced over as he climbed out, spotting an older woman idly swimming in the main pool, but she looked unrelated to the guy in the lane. William turned a critical eye to the newcomer. His lower body was too high and his hand entry inefficient, but he had an acceptable grasp of the front crawl stroke. That he didn’t know what to do with himself when ending each lane, stopping and turning around, confirmed his suspicions: This was an amateur. Either Kelly had a twin, or he was here.
William thought he saw a sly smile just before it disappeared into the water. Then Kelly was kicking toward him, quickly reaching the side of the pool where he waited. William made sure to focus on the face as Kelly pulled himself free, the amusement there transparent.
“Got any tips?” Kelly asked.
Now it made perfect sense. William had shown up in his territory, and Kelly had responded by doing the same. He didn’t seem hostile, so William addressed the question, which allowed him to examine Kelly for anything that could be improved. His eyes traveled over a light frame, tight muscles, and flawless dark skin. The red swimsuit was still wet enough to cup a bulge, and it was this William focused on. Briefly. “Lose the swim trunks,” he said.
“Skinny dipping?” Kelly’s eyes flicked to where the old lady was still wading around. “Think she’ll mind?”
William snorted. “I mean you should get a pair of these,” he said, tugging at the waistband of his own swimsuit. “Those trunks you’re wearing are like a parachute behind you, dragging you back. Did you feel the water pulling on them when you climbed out?”
Kelly nodded, eyes still sparkling. “So I need to buy some underwear from the little boys’ department instead.”
“Joke all you want. My scuba panties will give me the edge in the triathlon. If your friend shares your fashion sense, he’ll never keep up with me in the water.”
And speaking of water, William was purposely testing it by mentioning the triathlon. Kelly’s reaction was difficult to read as he turned to fetch his towel and dried himself. William finished doing the same, wrapping the towel around his waist and feeling more exposed than usual. He had been around plenty of other guys while wearing so little, but with Kelly, he somehow felt more naked. Maybe because of the way he was openly looking him over.
“Maybe I should do some heavy lifting too,” Kelly said, draping his towel over one shoulder. “Is that how you move through the water so fast?”
William shook his head. “You have a better build for swimming than I do. Once I hit puberty, the weight started piling on. Because of that, I’m not so fast. Normally I don’t care. Endurance is more important to me.”
Kelly’s brow came together in confusion. “Not big on racing?”
“Not usually. I’m training to be in the Coast Guard.”
Kelly looked amused again. “You know they’ve got boats these days, right? You don’t have to swim everywhere.”
William smiled, still unsure about the purpose of this visit, but an idea had occurred to him. Kelly was here to learn William’s techniques so he could pass them on to his friend. That would explain why he was being so personable. “We’d better get going,” he suggested. “School starts in fifteen minutes.”
They walked to the locker room in silence, ending up in separate rows. William continued to mull over his theory as he pulled on his jeans, wanting to discover if he was right. “How come you’re here instead of your friend? I got the impression you aren’t entering the triathlon.”
A pause preceded the answer. “I changed my mind.”
“Oh.” So
he
was entering now and was here for his own benefit, not Jared’s.
“Does that scare you?” Kelly asked, but his tones were teasing. “Is that the sound of your knees knocking together?”
William pulled his polo shirt over his head and smiled. “After what I saw today, I’ve got nothing to worry about.”
“Harsh! But probably true.”
William slipped into his sandals. “Of course I haven’t seen you running yet. I’ve heard there’s no one faster. Then again, you were the one who told me that, so…”
“I’ll be on the track this afternoon.” Kelly replied. “After school. Come and see.”
He sounded serious. William shut his locker, then headed for the exit. He hesitated at the door. Was this a trap? The fight the other students had longed to see? He honestly didn’t know, but the Coast Guard demanded more than just skill and endurance. William would regularly be faced with frightening situations and still be expected to perform his duties. He didn’t care about the drama surrounding the triathlon, but this could end up being practical training regardless. “Yeah, okay. See you there.”
* * * * *
“They’re totally gay.”
William was walking down the hall after sixth period, girls on either side of him. For the first time, he wondered if this made him seem gay. It wasn’t a word he allowed himself to think often. He tried to keep it far from his mind so he wouldn’t spiral down another cycle of questioning who he really was. It didn’t matter either way because the Coast Guard was going to set him right. Regardless, he still found Holly’s words jarring. He had been telling them about his encounter in the morning and his plans after school when the subject took an unexpected—and uncomfortable—turn.
“Extremely gay,” Lily agreed. “Totally explains everything.”
“What?” William managed a chuckle. “Who?”
“Jared and Kelly,” Holly said.
“It’s just gossip,” Abby murmured. “Jared is dating Martha Huffman.”
“Really?” Lily replied. “I knew she had a thing for him but—”
“Then how do you explain it?” Holly interrupted.
“Explain what?” William said, not hiding his confusion. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Lily looked over at him. “The reason Kelly got all up in your face.”
“He’s gay,” Holly clarified. “For Jared. Although I still think they both are.”
William stared. “Kelly is gay? You’re sure?”
“He admitted it to his entire team,” Holly said matter-of-factly, but William turned to the others for confirmation.
Lily nodded.
Abby was less certain. “Kelly didn’t deny it. That’s what I was told.”
William stopped walking, trying to make sense of it all. “Then why was Kelly at the YMCA this morning? And why is he now in the triathlon if he was so set on Jared winning?”
“No idea about the race,” Holly said, “but Kelly was probably at the YMCA so he could see you naked. Did you take a shower together?”
“Together?” William spluttered. “No!”
“Just ignore her,” Lily said. “She’s full of depraved fantasies.”
Holly didn’t appear ashamed. In fact, her smile got bigger.
“Okay,” William said. “Have fun gossiping. I’m going to train.”
Three girls groaned in unison. “You’re no fun!” Holly said.
“That’s right,” William replied. “So unless any of you want to run a few laps…”
This was enough to scare them away. Once they rounded a corner and were out of sight, William leaned against a row of lockers, mind racing. His friends loved to gossip. He had learned all sorts of sultry details about other people, thanks to their tales. They had a good instinct for what was true and what was bullshit. Very little they shared with him turned out to be false. Kelly was probably gay. William searched himself, trying to decide how this made him feel. Apprehensive? Excited?
Both? Yeah. That about summed it up. He found himself wanting to be around Kelly to confirm it and see if anything would happen, like a litmus test for his own sexuality.
If you turn blue when another gay person is around, then you’re gay too!
The halls were empty now, which made it easy for him to move quickly. William left the building and entered into a gray day, clouds covering the sky, trees swaying in the wind.
He hurried toward the track and spotted someone running there. Jared was in the middle of a lap. On the bleachers, a girl with blonde hair and pink glasses clapped in appreciation. Martha Huffman. No freaking way! If his friends had been right about that detail, and clearly they were, then…
Where was Kelly? Still getting changed? The thought of being in the locker room with him again took on new meaning, almost seemed risqué. Part of him was scared and wanted to deny his curiosity. The rest just wanted. William made a beeline for the athletic building, entering a side door and walking down the hall. He reached the doorway to the locker rooms at the same time Kelly did from the other side. The angry expression had returned.
“Hey!” William tried. “Sorry I’m late. Why do girls like to talk so much?”
Kelly broke eye contact and pressed forward, forcing William to move aside. He was dressed in normal clothes, and unless he was planning a repeat of the other day, it meant he wouldn’t be running.
“Aren’t you training today?” William asked. Then, in an attempt to lighten the mood, he added. “Wait, don’t tell me you’re done already! You’re not
that
fast, are you?”
Kelly kept walking. “Not quite.”
“Then where are you going?”
“I’m going to get in my car, find a really tall bridge, and drive off of it.”
“Awesome,” William said. “Mind if I tag along?”
This worked. Kelly slowed. “You have a death wish?”
“Not really, but I was hoping you could give me a ride home on your way. I’ve been biking to school every day, and honestly, my legs are still sore from running and everything else.”
“You need to take a break,” Kelly said. “Give your muscles time to heal and build up. Not that you need to get any bigger. You really want a ride?”
“If you don’t mind. There aren’t any bridges on the way to my house, so we should be okay.”
Kelly raised an eyebrow. “I thought you had an after-school job.”
“I started a lawn mowing business when I was twelve. Most of my clients have moved away or now have kids old enough to do it themselves, but some still depend on me. I’m not busy every day, leaving my afternoons free to beg strangers for rides.”
Kelly remained silent, but gestured with his head that William should follow. As they left the school and strolled across the parking lot, William fell behind a few paces, trying to determine if Kelly was gay. He didn’t walk different, and he wasn’t really feminine. All Kelly seemed was miserable. They reached a silver car much nicer than his own. Kelly went to the driver’s side, William the other. So far he had seen Kelly angry and confrontational, then disarmingly friendly, and now completely despondent as he just stood there, not even unlocking the door. Maybe he was bipolar and hadn’t been joking about wanting to end his life.
“You all right?”
“Yeah.” Kelly shook his head, as if to clear it. “I thought I forgot something, that’s all. Hop in.” He squeezed a keychain and the doors unlocked.
Once William was inside and buckled up, he looked for further clues. A rainbow air freshener hanging from the rearview mirror, or a gay magazine in the backseat. All he found was a clean and neutral interior. Except for the container of gum in one of the cup holders, which only implied an aversion to bad breath.
“Where do you live?” Kelly asked, starting the car.
“Not far from here. I’ll be your GPS.” In a more mechanical voice, he intoned, “Please turn right and proceed to the next stop light.”
Kelly’s expression remained impassive. William wasn’t even sure he had been heard until his instructions were followed.