Something Wonderful (25 page)

I guess I was holding onto hope that I could be the one to break through his wall, but at the same time, preparing myself for the worst. I had to remind myself that we were just friends, but I couldn’t help thinking about the night we spent together. The way he kneaded my breasts, the way his hands gripped my ass while he was pumping inside me. That thought alone practically made me climax; he was that good. I could still feel the lingering sensation throughout my veins, making my body infuse with heat.

“Oh shit!” I yelled, slamming on the brakes. Driving while thinking about sex with Matthew was not a good combination. “Sorry.” I raised my hand to the car to the right of me after I almost veered into his lane.

Besides that one hot night, Matthew and I always had a great time when we were together, sharing our deepest fears and dreams. Actually, he shared and I listened. I still didn’t feel comfortable letting him know all of me, so I did what I do best…I listened.

Looking for Matthew since he’d texted me he was already seated, I walked past the hostess after I’d explained I had a friend waiting for me. As I excitedly searched from table to table, I saw Matthew with his arms around a woman. They looked awfully cozy as they chatted and laughed. He knew I was on my way, so why would he hold her like that?

At that moment, the ache in my heart felt as if he had cheated on me. I told myself I wouldn’t let him get that close, but my own words betrayed me. As I continued to stare, the piercing pain only intensified. Watching him give her a kiss on her cheek disgusted me, and I felt an ugly knot in the pit of my stomach.

I don’t know why I do this to myself. It’s like I get some sick pleasure from feeling pain, being used. Because that is how I felt at this moment. Sure, use Becca when you feel horny or use Becca when you feel lonely. I should have known better. There was no hope. All his words were lies, probably to get me in bed. As hatred boiled through me, I knew I needed to leave before I made a scene.

Knowing I could make a run for it, I turned. If only my legs would have moved faster, Matthew wouldn’t have seen me.

“Becca,” he called, as if it was no big deal.

I had to make a choice, so instead of acting mature and going to his table, I started walking away, hoping he would let me be. Too late, I felt a hand grip my arm. “Becca.”

From the force of his pull, I reluctantly turned. “Hey, where are you going? I’m sitting back there.”

I wanted to say something mean or tell him off, but I couldn’t. I also didn’t let him explain, because what was the point? Even if his explanation was, ‘we’re just friends’, there was something more to this…to us. I realized how much time I had invested in whatever we had, and he would leave me with the broken heart.

I was freakin’ jealous and I wanted to be the one in his arms. If I was hurting this much, it was already too late. I had been in this situation before and it never worked out for me at the end. I knew that from here on out, I could no longer be the friend he needed me to be.

“Matthew, I’m sorry, but you know what? I just got an emergency text from one of my clients and I need to take care of it,” I lied, faking a smile. I was desperately trying to stop my heart from breaking if it was possible. The pitter-patter of my heart was achingly drumming, while shattering into millions of pieces. “I’ll call you later.” As I dashed out of there, tears blocked my vision. It had been a while since I felt this kind of heartache. It was another reminder to stay away.

“
H
OW DO YOU LIKE
this one?” Nicole asked, holding up a long, strapless dress.

“It’s a nice shade of lavender,” I replied, leaning back in my chair as I watched Becky tilt her head, examining it.

“Do you have other choices?” Kate asked, looking unsure.

Nicole laughed. “Okay, this is like the fifth dress I showed you guys and we can’t seem to come to an agreement. Ladies, go to that rack and pick one out. Meanwhile, you want to see my wedding dress?” Nicole couldn’t contain her excitement. Her smile outshined the room. Then a thought occurred. That was the way a bride should smile and feel about her wedding and the man she was about to marry.

“Go put it on,” I exclaimed, trying my best to hide my own sorrow. I felt dead inside, the way I was moving and feeling. At least being surrounded by my friends and sharing in the excitement of Nicole’s wedding did help.

“Let’s see it on you,” Becky said excitedly.

Nicole headed to the dressing room while we headed toward the rack. Becky and Kate took out several dresses and placed them off to the side. They were holding their own conversation about what they liked and disliked about them, but as for me, I was in my own world as I stared at the dresses without any opinion.

I couldn’t be happier for Nicole. She and Craig had been through the breakups, the heartaches, and now, they were stronger than ever. From Nicole’s point of view, Craig didn’t want the happily ever after, but knowing he might never be with Nicole again, he agreed to move forward. I just hope it will last forever.

As Becky and Kate decided on two dresses, something white caught the corner of my eye. I turned my head to see Nicole standing by the dressing room with the sales clerk. At that moment, my heart skipped a beat as she took my breath away.

Nicole looked absolutely stunning and I couldn’t peel my eyes off of her. Her strapless, A-line dress was simple, with pearls and crystals adorning the waistline. Flowing down her back was a long veil, attached to the matching headband.

Speechless, tears flooded my eyes to see one of my best friends who would soon be a beautiful bride. She would call Craig her own and he would call her, his; and forever they would be united as one. It was a pivotal moment in a person’s life, and I felt blessed to be a part of it.

There was a little ache in my heart as I thought about Max. I often thought about our future and the type of dress I would wear. It was foolish of me to think so far ahead when I wanted to slow things down, but a girl can dream.

“Oh, Nicole,” Kate squealed. “You look absolutely gorgeous.” She clasped her hands as her eyes glistened with tears, standing there admiring the bride to be.

“Wow,” Becky said softy. “I’ll marry you right now.” We all laughed. “Wait ‘til Craig sees you walk down the aisle. He’ll want to drop his pants for you right there and then. I wouldn’t be surprised if he ripped that dress off you before the night ends.”

“You really think so?” Nicole giggled. “I mean not about Craig wanting to rip my dress off, but do you think this dress is the one?”

“It’s perfect,” I said, and it was perfect on her, but more so, because it was the same style I would wear.

“Let me try on a few others I had in mind. Did you pick the bridesmaid dresses you want to try on?”

Becky held up a couple of them. “I guess we can try these.”

After we did a mini fashion show, Nicole finally decided on one of them and we all agreed. Then we decided to grab some dinner.

W
E WENT TO A
nearby restaurant that seemed less crowded, but in Pasadena, every restaurant was busy. Ordering dinner went pretty fast for a Friday night, but
getting
our dinner was a whole different story.

“Jenna, you’ve been checking your phone every minute. What’s going on?” Nicole asked. Her face filled with concern.

Sliding my phone back into my purse, I gave a fake smile. “Nothing. It’s work.”

“You’ve never said that before,” Kate said. “We know when something is wrong. You’re not good at hiding things.”

“Something’s wrong in paradise. What happened?” Nicole asked as everyone leaned closer.

“It’s my fault. I told Max I needed time, but I really didn’t mean it. I was upset,” I explained. I told them about the lawsuit and everything that happened at Stellars and since then.

“Jenna,” Becky started to say. “You can’t allow his past to get in the way of the future. Sometimes falling in love means letting go of the past. His past is the past. It’s not as if he had sex with every female at his company. For Christ’s sake, he was just being a typical horny male with no ties to a relationship. There is nothing wrong with that. He completely adores you and I know with every fiber of my being, he wouldn’t do anything to hurt you, not on purpose.”

“I know,” I sighed. “It’s just—”

“He withheld information from you when it should have come from him,” Kate interrupted. “I understand.”

“I see what you’re doing,” Nicole blurted. “You’re playing games. He pissed you off and now you’re punishing him, but it looks like you’re punishing yourself too. Go tell him you’ll take him back and just withhold sex. That’s what I do.” Nicole snorted. “Believe me, it works every time.”

“I didn’t think of that.”

“Of course you didn’t,” Kate stated. “But at the same time, I bet you’re making him miserable. He’s probably thinking all sorts of nonsense, like you’re thinking right now. I don’t know why we tend to act childish when it comes to relationships. At least when you’re married, you’re stuck in one house and forced to communicate; but when you’re not, you could drag out this unnecessary misery way too long.”

“And don’t let that what’s-her-face come between you and Max. This is exactly what she wants. I’m sure she did her homework on you and Max. And if I’m right about her, I bet she’s done this to other men,” Becky commented.

“Max has got to find a way to get out of this. If he goes to court, it will ruin his reputation, along with his company. Even if he’s proven innocent, the damage will have already been done. Going to court pretty much means there is enough evidence against him. People will judge him and draw their own conclusions.” Nicole shook her head, looking glum. “I feel bad for him.”

Sometimes anger, hurt, and pride get in the way of a person’s mind, preventing them from behaving rationally. It was great to have wonderful friends who cared enough for me to tell me what I needed to hear, not what I wanted to hear. I knew I was acting immature about this, but to hear it from my best friends only confirmed it.

Becky’s last words before dinner stuck with me. “I bet she did this to other men.” Then I recalled the conversation I heard in the break room, when those two women mentioned that there was a rumor that it wasn’t her first time. I needed to speak to one of them.

I
T HAD BEEN A
week since I last saw Max. I thought for sure he would have come after me by now. I had to go see him right now.

“Ms. Mefferd, what are your thoughts?”

Flashing my eyes in the direction of the voice, I realized I had been in a daze. “Um…” Thank goodness, Matthew stepped in.

“Ms. Mefferd, we are voting on the color of the dress that will go on the front cover. Do you like the lavender or the white?”

Thinking of Nicole’s wedding I said, “Lavender. I believe that will be the new black this season.”

“Perfect. I agree,” Matthew said, standing up. “Great meeting, everybody. Let’s get the ball rolling. Meeting is adjourned.”

Pushing back my chair, I grabbed my notepad and headed toward the door. A hand gripped my arm and pulled me aside. “Jenna,” Matthew whispered. Looking at him up close like this, I could see the resemblance. God, how I missed Max. I had to stop torturing myself and him. This had to end. I felt like I was losing my mind as the anticipation of seeing Max got to me.