Authors: Lilliana Anderson
A Beautiful Rock
by Lilliana Anderson
Copyright 2013 Lilliana Anderson
Kindle Edition, License Notes
All rights reserved
Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means without the prior written permission of the author of this book.
This book is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to any person, living or dead is purely coincidental. Any actual places, products or events mentioned are used in a purely fictitious manner. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various places/products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission and is by no way sponsored by the trademark owners.
Beautiful Series Reading Order
my readers. Without you, I wouldn’t have made it this far.
If grass can grow through cement, love can find you at every time in your life.
(includes The Beauty in Between)
A Beautiful Struggle
A Beautiful Forever
A Beautiful Melody
A Beautiful Rock
Jun 27, 2014)
A Beautiful Star (November, 2014)
Find more books by Lilliana Anderson on the
Oh, how I love the Beautiful Series. It started off as a single story by a girl who
wanted to write something a little non-traditional. I had no idea it would become what it is today.
I have to say, that I really enjoyed writing about Marcus's journey, he went from cocky rock star to a man with a heart and I found myself really liking him – even loving him.
I also love Lisa, she has a fun personality and gives Marcus a good run for his money. And Perry… well… I’m just going to let you meet him for yourself.
I am very blessed to have a solid team of beta and proof readers who work tirelessly with me on every novel.
Marion of Making Manuscripts (www.makingmanuscripts.com), Tammie, Mary, Kassi, Lindsey, Anna, Betchy, Billie, Celsey, Crystal, Kristina and Kristine.
Ladies, I love your comments and your love for reading. I am truly blessed to know you all. Your input, as always,
was AMAZING! Thank you!
Thank you to my editor, Maria Johnson,
I always seem to send you manuscripts when you’re extremely busy, but you do a brilliant job anyway.
bedroom thank you to my husband for his constant love and support, his plot help, and his encouragement.
Thank you to my street team and to everyone who has agreed to review for me –
I love you all.
I’d also like to thank the wonderful team at Apple and Smashwords, who set up all of my preorders and trust me to upload my books on time – I truly appreciate your support!
Thank you to all of the beautiful authors out there in Indie Author Land who share for me and keep me company. During this book, we have sprinted together and compared our celebrity boyfriends whilst freaking out about our first signing.
And to the Misfits – you rock my world while holding my hand.
Thank you to every reader who has reached out to me to say hi. I love hearing from you and still pinch myself every day from the knowledge that people ACTUALLY read my work. It’s surreal to say the least.
Thank you to my kids. You are all so patient and understanding of your
work-obsessed mother – you’re all beautiful!
And of course – thank you to all of my readers. Without you, I would be
stacking shelves for a living.
“We’re chatting with the man of the moment, Marcus Bailey, on the eve of his world tour. Welcome Marcus. Thanks for coming on the show,” the young blonde video DJ says from across me. I have no idea what her name is, or who she works for. I’ve just been sitting in this chair for hours, answering the same fucking questions over and over again. I wish they would just film me and insert themselves in editing – Get it done in twenty minutes. Easy.
Despite feeling sick of sitting here, I put on my game face and smile broadly at the young lady. She’s pretty fucking hot actually
- long slim, tan legs, poking out of a tube of orange fabric that’s been squeezed over her very curvaceous body to be a dress. She’s wearing those spike heeled ankle boots that all the girls seem to be wearing these days. She’s my last interview, so I might see if she’s up for it when the cameras are off.
“Any time,” I say to her smiling.
“Now tell us about this crazy whirlwind you’ve been on since you left your brother’s band Matiari?”
“Yeah, it’s been a real trip. I kind of thought my music career would be over after that. But you never know what people are going to love
, do you?”
“Well, it was a very public way to break up with your band wasn’t it?”
“It was,” I agree, still smiling.
“For those watching who don’t know the story, you can go to our website where you’ll find a link for the YouTube video of Marcus’s very emotional rendition of ‘Weighted’. He chose the song specifically to send a public message to Naomi Prendergast, the band’s violinist after she chose to become romantically involved with Marcus’s brother, Theo Bailey, who is now Matiari’s front man.
“Now, that video, catapulted Marcus into the international spotlight, earning him appearances on countless TV shows, as well as his own recording contract. So it’s well worth a look.” She turns back from looking at the camera and focuses again on me.
“So Marcus, I’ve been listening to your new album On the Other Side, and I have to wonder if the song titled ‘he’ll never be me’
, is a direct response to the official announcement of Theo and Naomi’s engagement?”
“Ah, maybe,” I laugh. “Am I that obvious?”
“A little,” she laughs in return, flicking her hair slightly as her eyes drift down the length of me. My smile broadens; I know I’ve got her.
“The truth is, I had my heart broken that day, and the best way for me to deal with that pain is through my music,” I tell her, a sombre expression placed upon my face. Like I said, I’ve done this before. It’s all just an act now.
“I completely understand,” she sympathises, nodding her head as she makes eye contact with me.
“Listen. This is actually hard for me to talk about, do you mind if we move onto something else?”
“Of course. Tell me all about your tour. How many shows and how long will you be travelling?” she asks, her eyes filled with sympathy for my broken heart…
“Oh god! Don’t stop! Don’t stop!” she yells, as I pound into her, slamming myself inside her, harder and harder as her body thumps up against the dressing room mirror.
I used to think it was easy getting girls into bed before, but add the word ‘heartbroken’ to ‘musician’ and you’ve struck gold. Panties just fall to the ground as they all line up to be that one that turns my head and teaches me to love again.
But no matter what they do, or how kinky they get, I’m not going to be that stupid again. Falling in love was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done. Fucked if I’m ever going to do that again.
There is a huge line of girls lining up around the globe, begging to share my bed. I’m never going to be lonely again. I’m a rock star now – I don’t need love.
ne year later…
I’m a rock star…
I remember that being this great idea that meant all of my dreams would become a reality. I could click my fingers, and anything I want would appear in front of me. Being obscenely famous is as close to magic as you can get.
The problem is, it’s lonely as fuck.
I’ve just spent two years travelling both Australia and the world, singing to audiences in every country imaginable. I’ve fucked more girls than I can possibly count. Done everything I’ve ever wanted to do, and a whole bunch of shit I didn’t even know existed.
I basked in the adoration of my fans. Let all of my values just slip away until I
was the quintessential famous dickwad that I am today.
Now, I’m not even sure I’m ok with looking at myself in the mirror.
I used to have friends. I used to have family. I even thought I was in love once… Now, all I have are hangers on, and staff who are paid to nod their heads and make sure I’m happy.
But I’m not. I’m not happy at all.
I think back to where all this started, to that fucking video when I threw a tantrum on stage because I wanted the girl my brother had. I thought I loved her. At the time, I really did. But now I know it wasn’t love. Love is something I’ve never experienced in my whole over the top, gregarious life. Hell, I don’t even love myself. I’m sick of seeing my face plastered around. I’m sick of hearing my name chanted out loud. I’m sick of my own voice.
I need a break
, and now that I'm finally back home where I started, I’m hoping that it won’t be long before I get that. Maybe I’ll pretend to be a normal person for a while. It’s amazing how many people believe me when I deny being me…
Although, right now, being normal is only a dream for me. There’s still a good month of work left to do on my current album
, and it won’t be long before we’re moving into production of the next one.
But for now, I’m home. I’m
in Sydney and I’m putting on an ‘invite only’ acoustic show, before we do the big public concert to celebrate the end of my tour. I’m actually looking forward to this one. The people coming aren’t going to be screaming fans who throw underwear at me.
There will be me, my guitar, and a couple of band memb
ers. No fancy lights, no filtered sounds – just me and my raw sound. It’s the way it should be.
There’s a buzz filtering through the audience as they murmur to each other
, while I walk on stage and set myself up. I keep my head down and focus on what I'm doing. This is the first time I've done one of these unplugged shows.
Even though I expected it to be quieter than a normal show, t
he reverence of the audience is a little disconcerting. I expected at least a little noise. This quiet… it's surreal.
For the first time in two years, I'm
The light shines in my face as I look up to greet my audience
, and I need to shield my eyes as I lean into to the microphone to speak. "Welcome. I can't tell you all how glad I am to be back home. Tonight's very special. As well as playing some favourites, I'll be singing some of the new material I've been working on. Hopefully you're all going to like it."
I briefly introduce the band and backing vocalists that are accompanying me tonight before launching into one of my most popular songs
, ‘He’ll Never Be Me.’ I’ve sung it so many times now that it doesn’t seem to have the meaning it originally had when I wrote it. I was angry back then. My brother, Theo, and my ex-bandmate, Naomi, had just gotten engaged. It was when I was still hung up on her, thinking that what we had was love, even though I know now that it was just a bit of an infatuation on my part. But, at the time, I hated them for it. I hated that they were so happy.
They say that success is revenge. I’ve had plenty of it. Far more than they ever could.
When I used to sing this song, I felt like it was this huge middle finger that I was sticking up at them. I’m not sure it ever made me feel vindicated though… and now when I sing it, I just feel hollow.
This song is only my voice and my guitar. Normally we use a piano and some extra vocal harmonies. But for the acoustic version, it’s all me.
The room is silent as I sing.
When you come
I’m sure it’s my face you see
You don’t belong with him
You know you belong with me
While he is dark
I am your light
He’ll never be me
He’ll never be me
When you kiss
I’m sure it’s my lips you feel
You don’t belong with him
What we had was real
Let me be your lover
Let our hearts beat as one
You can’t possibly feel alive
With the sorry beating of his drum
Be with me.
He’ll never be me.
He’ll never be me.
As I finish the song, I place my hand over the strings on my guitar to
silence it, and the room erupts in applause and a few wolf whistles. I nod my head and thank everyone for coming. Out of habit, my eyes scan the crowd, looking for a face that captivates me.
Surprisingly, my eyes land on Naomi. A pit forms in my stomach. I didn’t expect her to be here. I also didn’t expect to react like this upon seeing her. My chest has tightened and my mouth has gone dry.
I begin to sweat. This feels a lot like guilt. I don’t like this at all.
I’m about to signal to my manager to ask who the hell let her in here, but I stop myself. There are cameras rolling and flashes firing. If I react publicly, the whole thing will be caught on camera. And despite the fact that my public break up is what launched my solo career, I’m not interested in the media becoming obsessed with my relationship with my brother and his fiancée again.
I glance at her. She’s smiling. I didn’t expect her to be smiling when she saw me. My eyes drift to the seats around her. I expect to see Theo, but she’s with a group of women. One I’m sure went to school with us – Stephanie I think her name is…
Moving my eyes away, I clear my throat and announce the next song, doing my best to get through the set and get this finished. I vow that when we are done, I’m going to find out how the hell she got tickets and then I’m going to fire whoever was responsible.
If I was ever going to see her again, it was going to be on
terms. Seriously, what’s the point of being a fucking rock star if I can’t pick and chose who the hell gets close to me?
“Marcus? Great show tonight. You sounded amazing.”
I plaster a fake smile on my face as I turn to Naomi. “Thanks for coming,” I state, giving her a gentle touch on her shoulder as if she was any other fan. I see her expression fall as I move past her.
I want her to see that having her there doesn’t affect me. I want her to understand that she never meant as much to me as she thinks she does. I’ve moved past it.
As is usual with any concert,
I have to mingle with the important people before I can go back to my hotel room and bury myself, cock-deep in a couple of random women who are generally willing to do whatever the hell I ask of them.
“That’s all you’re going to say to her?” Stephanie asks, blocking my escape.
“How are you Stephanie?” I enquire, giving her my most charming smile as I ignore her previous question. “It’s been a long time. Are you going to introduce me to your friends?”
She rolls her eyes. “This is Paige and Katrina. They’re both married to beautiful men, so keep your sleazy eyes off them.”
“Nice to meet you,” I say to the exceptionally tall blonde and voluptuous brunette standing quietly off to the side. “Did you enjoy the show?”
“We did. Thank you,” says the one who I think is Katrina. Paige nods and says ‘yeah’ like it wasn’t anything special. It makes me smile. I’m so used to people gushing about their excitement. A little indifference is actually refreshing.
“Well, be sure to stay and enjoy the party,” I say, moving past them once again. I hear Naomi tell Stephanie to ‘leave it’ as I’m pulled into a conversation by a couple who won tickets on the radio. They are raving about the show. I’ve heard it all before, and my mind can’t focus on what they’re saying. My ears keep searching out the sound of Naomi’s voice.
I tip my head back and down the glass of scotch that somehow ended up in my hand. Being who I am, it’s replaced instantly.
“Thanks for coming,” I say to the couple, and quickly scan the room for a target. I need to get out of here.
I push past them and a busty brunette in a barely there top and
skin-tight jeans thrusts herself in my path.
“I loved the show,” she coos.
“Want to get out of here?” I ask, not bothering to pull any punches. I’m pretty sure I could just say ‘wanna see my cock?’ and she’d follow me wherever I want her to. There’s no chase anymore. Pussy is way too easy.
I take her outside where a car is waiting. We get into the backseat and without even bothering to give me her name, she’s unzipping my pants and preparing to wrap her shiny red lips around my shaft.
The compartment between us and the driver slides up to block his view, and I drop my head on the back of the seat and try to let the sweet warmth of her mouth overcome me. Although it’s hard when all I can see is the hurt look on Naomi’s face.
Fuck I’m an arsehole.
“Sweetheart,” I say, as I lift the girl’s head out of my lap. “I need you to stop.”
“Why? What’s wrong?” she asks, blinking at me blankly.
“Go back to the party love. I need some time to myself tonight.”
“Go,” I say more sternly, as I adjust myself and zip my pants back up. Her face falls but she gets out of the car as instructed.
“Make sure she gets back in safely, “ I tell one of the security guards stationed nearby.
He nods then takes her by the elbow and ushers her back into the party. I lean back and rub my hands over the top of my head. I can’t believe that after all this time, Naomi is still getting to me. She’s like this shining beacon of goodness and I find myself questioning my actions because of her. I thought I’d moved past that – I really didn’t think I’d give a shit what she thought of me.
“Still up to the same old tricks I see?”
Speak of the devil.
“Naomi. I’m not in the mood.”
She gets in the car next to me and shuts the door.
“You haven’t been in the mood for two years Marcus. Meanwhile, your family is missing you. Why won’t you take any of Theo’s calls?”
“Is that why you came? To berate me about not speaking to Theo?”
“No Marcus. I came tonight becaus
e I want to make things right. We all miss seeing you.”
“Well I miss you, Naomi. And I hate that my brother – the one guy I should have been able to trust over everyone – stole you from me.”
I don’t even know why I’m saying this. I know it’s not true. She was never mine to begin with. But I have my pride and right now, she’s on my turf. She doesn’t get to come to my show and tell me how I should behave. Her input in my life ended, the moment I left them in Melbourne.
“I was never yours Marcus. You never loved me. You just loved the idea of me. We
were never more than friends. How could we be? Even back then you were putting your dick into everything with a pulse. How was that behaviour going to make me love you?”
She’s so fucking self-righteous.
I narrow my eyes at her. But I don’t reply, so she just continues.
“Perhaps it’s time that you took a good long look at yourself. If fucking an endless line of girls is what you want, then fine. The best of luck to you. But maybe – just maybe – you could stop being angry at your brother for finding his
soul mate for long enough to find your own. Theo didn’t steal me Marcus. I was always his. Now stop feeling sorry for yourself. You have more than any of us could have possibly dreamed of and you’re just using it to stay miserable. I came tonight to remind you that you have parents, and that you have a brother. All of whom love you – despite your shitdick attitude. Give them a call, Marcus. Speak to your parents at least, and if you ever cared about me – forgive your brother. For some reason, he isn’t willing to marry me until you’ll agree to give us your blessing.”
I shake my head. “That’s not going to happen.”
“Then we don’t have anything else to say to each other.” She opens the car door and gets out before leaning down to say one last thing. “I hope your fame keeps you warm at night Marcus.”
It doesn’t. Naked women draped over my body do that for me,” I retort.
She looks at me, narrows her eyes and shakes her head. “I feel sorry for you, Marcus.”
And with that she spins on her heel and stalks off, leaving the car door wide open while I sit there like an idiot and just watch her walk away – again.