Sometimes There Is a Void (76 page)
Read Sometimes There Is a Void Online
Authors: Zakes Mda
I am absolutely miffed when I get a copy of the report. The good doctor has bought into Adele's story that our conflict emanates from my being the product of an African patriarchal system that turned against her because she was an educated African woman. She is a very smart woman who is using the established narrative in her favour. She's playing the gender card. Without testing Adele's story, without even attempting to find any evidence to corroborate it, and without examining my personal history and position on issues of gender and the
oppression of women, the good doctor taps into the African narrative that has congealed in his mind from the time he watched
Tarzan
movies as a kid to all the horror stories of a dysfunctional continent he continues to consume in today's news and entertainment media and he concludes that indeed Adele's story is the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
oppression of women, the good doctor taps into the African narrative that has congealed in his mind from the time he watched
Tarzan
movies as a kid to all the horror stories of a dysfunctional continent he continues to consume in today's news and entertainment media and he concludes that indeed Adele's story is the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
Part of his âObservation/Conclusions' reads:
Adele has made a very convincing argument regarding her role as wife and mother in this family. I am not sure how the South African justice system compares to ours but assume it to be based on English Rule of Law since the country was once ruled by the English. Additionally, there are probably cultural differences that come into play in this case. Having been to S.A. myself, on more than one occasion, it is easy to recognize that women are often considered chattels in that country. There is a movement in that country for women to assume more modern roles as a partner in the marriage, involving themselves in politics and government as well. Adele apparently has broken that mold and has become assertive trying to educate herself and her children and involving herself in the family finances and other facets of the family. Adele says this attitude is described by Zakes as âdictatorial'.
You can see the many glaring assumptions already in this piece that are based on the jelled narrative. Apparently it didn't occur to him to ascertain the accuracy of any of them because to him they are self-evident truths based on the Africa he âknows'; the Africa that is reinforced by a documentary I saw recently titled
Babies
, which is touted as a âvisually stunning movie that captures the earliest stages of the journey of humanity'. It features babies from Namibia, Mongolia, Japan and the USA. Whereas the babies and their parents from the other cultures are clean and live in hygienic surroundings, the African babies have been selected from the âexotic' Himba tribe which is on the verge of extinction; it now numbers about twenty thousand in all. They wallow in mud and dirt all day long. Flies feast on their mouths and eyes. Their mothers have their whole bodies, including the hair, caked in mud. To
ignorant Western viewers whose only point of reference is the established stereotype narrative, this Africa that has hardly emerged from the Stone Age is the âreal' Africa. They think that this is how we all grew up. Our mothers, wives, sisters and daughters are the âchattels' of Dr Harvey's report.
Babies
, which is touted as a âvisually stunning movie that captures the earliest stages of the journey of humanity'. It features babies from Namibia, Mongolia, Japan and the USA. Whereas the babies and their parents from the other cultures are clean and live in hygienic surroundings, the African babies have been selected from the âexotic' Himba tribe which is on the verge of extinction; it now numbers about twenty thousand in all. They wallow in mud and dirt all day long. Flies feast on their mouths and eyes. Their mothers have their whole bodies, including the hair, caked in mud. To
ignorant Western viewers whose only point of reference is the established stereotype narrative, this Africa that has hardly emerged from the Stone Age is the âreal' Africa. They think that this is how we all grew up. Our mothers, wives, sisters and daughters are the âchattels' of Dr Harvey's report.
That is why I must now quote my response to the above quote from Dr Harvey's report:
I do not understand how Adele's argument of her role as wife and mother in this family is
convincing
to the Guardian Ad Litem since he knows nothing of our lives in the many years that I have been married to Adele and he sought no (tested) evidence from her to support her assertions most of which I have argued in this response are false. I do not understand what the Guardian Ad Litem is trying to imply about the South African legal system since he knows nothing about it. I think for matters like these he should seek expert advice, which is readily available in the African Studies Department at Ohio University. Our legal system in South Africa is Roman Dutch Law and not English Law. He claims that he was in South Africa. I would like to know when that was. When I spoke with him for the first time he told me that he went through a South African airport on a hunting trip to a neighbouring country many years ago â when apartheid was still in place. From that I understood that he has never been in South Africa. I doubt if he can tell me what city he went to in South Africa. The South Africa he describes here in his report is not the South Africa I know. In South Africa women are not considered chattels. That would be against the Constitution of the country, which is one of the only two Constitutions in the world (the other being Canada) that outlaw both gender discrimination and discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation. [
I have since learnt that there are two or three others, but my point still stands.
] The Guardian Ad Litem also mentions politics and government in South Africa, which again he knows nothing about. In South Africa the president is a man and the vice president is a woman. Of the 25 cabinet ministers, 12 are women. Of the 20 deputy ministers 10 are women. Of the 300 members of parliament 147 are women. I do not know if you can say the same
of the United States. But what I know is that South Africa is second only to Sweden in the number of women in government, particularly serving as ministers. This runs though all levels of government, and when we get to local government overall female participation is in fact in the majority! Are these women chattels? When I said Adele was âdictatorial' throughout our marriage I was not afraid of her assertiveness but was afraid of her anger and violence. She never discussed things with me but always did things her way without consulting me. All I wanted was to be her equal partner not her subservient. It was part of her dictatorial attitude to take the children to South Africa without my knowledge. Can the Guardian Ad Litem point at one thing that I did that would support his conclusion. It is nonsense to say Adele broke the mold and became âassertive trying to educate herself'. Good gracious! South Africa has millions of educated women. I am from a family of educated women myself. My grandmother was a school teacher, my mother a nurse. The Gugu that the Guardian Ad Litem has mentioned in this report has two master's degrees and is doing her PhD. [
Elsewhere in his report the Guardian Ad Litem implies that I left Adele for Gugu because Gugu is less educated and therefore less assertive.
] This is not extraordinary. The Guardian Ad Litem could have easily found information on the true situation in South Africa from the internet or from the African Studies Department at Ohio University instead of making such embarrassing statements. As a man who has written extensively on women's issues and whose books have been labelled feminist, I take offence at the Guardian Ad Litem's conclusions on this matter and I demand that they be tested in court through evidence since they bear great weight on whether I get the custody of the children or not.
convincing
to the Guardian Ad Litem since he knows nothing of our lives in the many years that I have been married to Adele and he sought no (tested) evidence from her to support her assertions most of which I have argued in this response are false. I do not understand what the Guardian Ad Litem is trying to imply about the South African legal system since he knows nothing about it. I think for matters like these he should seek expert advice, which is readily available in the African Studies Department at Ohio University. Our legal system in South Africa is Roman Dutch Law and not English Law. He claims that he was in South Africa. I would like to know when that was. When I spoke with him for the first time he told me that he went through a South African airport on a hunting trip to a neighbouring country many years ago â when apartheid was still in place. From that I understood that he has never been in South Africa. I doubt if he can tell me what city he went to in South Africa. The South Africa he describes here in his report is not the South Africa I know. In South Africa women are not considered chattels. That would be against the Constitution of the country, which is one of the only two Constitutions in the world (the other being Canada) that outlaw both gender discrimination and discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation. [
I have since learnt that there are two or three others, but my point still stands.
] The Guardian Ad Litem also mentions politics and government in South Africa, which again he knows nothing about. In South Africa the president is a man and the vice president is a woman. Of the 25 cabinet ministers, 12 are women. Of the 20 deputy ministers 10 are women. Of the 300 members of parliament 147 are women. I do not know if you can say the same
of the United States. But what I know is that South Africa is second only to Sweden in the number of women in government, particularly serving as ministers. This runs though all levels of government, and when we get to local government overall female participation is in fact in the majority! Are these women chattels? When I said Adele was âdictatorial' throughout our marriage I was not afraid of her assertiveness but was afraid of her anger and violence. She never discussed things with me but always did things her way without consulting me. All I wanted was to be her equal partner not her subservient. It was part of her dictatorial attitude to take the children to South Africa without my knowledge. Can the Guardian Ad Litem point at one thing that I did that would support his conclusion. It is nonsense to say Adele broke the mold and became âassertive trying to educate herself'. Good gracious! South Africa has millions of educated women. I am from a family of educated women myself. My grandmother was a school teacher, my mother a nurse. The Gugu that the Guardian Ad Litem has mentioned in this report has two master's degrees and is doing her PhD. [
Elsewhere in his report the Guardian Ad Litem implies that I left Adele for Gugu because Gugu is less educated and therefore less assertive.
] This is not extraordinary. The Guardian Ad Litem could have easily found information on the true situation in South Africa from the internet or from the African Studies Department at Ohio University instead of making such embarrassing statements. As a man who has written extensively on women's issues and whose books have been labelled feminist, I take offence at the Guardian Ad Litem's conclusions on this matter and I demand that they be tested in court through evidence since they bear great weight on whether I get the custody of the children or not.
I want to emphasise here that at the time this American man is accusing my country of treating women as chattels â and, please, I am not saying that women in South Africa have arrived where they should be; they still have a long way to go before we all live up to the values of our fine Constitution and banish our sexist and patriarchal attitudes â America ranks Number 31 in the World Economic Forum Global Gender Gap Report whereas South Africa ranks Number 6. The only countries
that are ahead of South Africa are Iceland, Finland, Sweden, Norway and New Zealand. A small African country called Lesotho is ranked Number 10, twenty places above the United States. Now you tell me, who can preach to whom about gender equality?
that are ahead of South Africa are Iceland, Finland, Sweden, Norway and New Zealand. A small African country called Lesotho is ranked Number 10, twenty places above the United States. Now you tell me, who can preach to whom about gender equality?
Rather than have his assertions tested in court Dr Terry Harvey quickly draws a follow-up report where he sings a different tune altogether and recommends that I should get custody because I care for the extramural activities of the children and Adele does not. But this shows you how some decisions that may affect the life and death of other human beings are made at the whim of ignorant officials. If I had not demanded that these silly assertions of Dr Harvey's be tested in court I would have been metaphorically tarred and feathered as sexist on the basis of the jelled narrative.
Â
All this happens in 2006. It is a year that is really taking its toll on me because so many things are happening, and all of them may serve to alter the course of my life for better or for worse. I have learnt to live with Adele's annoyances. She is using the kids as a tool to avenge herself for the decisions of the court that didn't go her way. The kids spend one week of every month with her, and during that time she does not take them for their extramural activities. She knows that's one thing that will rile me to madness. Zukile has karate and Zenzi has ice skating, karate and guitar lessons. Even when I offer to take them for their activities myself during what is supposed to be her parenting time, she refuses. I have to go to court many times to get court orders to compel her to do so. But her impunity prevails and Zenzi finally has to give up ice skating because she misses too many rehearsals and events and her instructors cannot tolerate that any more.
In June, I take the kids to South Africa to renew their visas. I had lodged their applications with the American Embassy in Lesotho when I was there the previous December to see my mother. They kept the applications and said that the kids needed to appear in person for their applications to be considered. In Johannesburg we book at Judith Lodge in Emmarentia. The kids have their own comfortable bedrooms and we turn this trip into a holiday. The last time they were in Johannesburg
was the year before when they had been abducted by their mother, and for the most part we were on the run from one hotel to another. They never got to enjoy Johannesburg. I get Thandi from her home in Springs and she stays with us to help me look after the kids and take them for their daily swim at Virgin Active near Cresta Centre.
was the year before when they had been abducted by their mother, and for the most part we were on the run from one hotel to another. They never got to enjoy Johannesburg. I get Thandi from her home in Springs and she stays with us to help me look after the kids and take them for their daily swim at Virgin Active near Cresta Centre.
A few days later I borrow Gugu's car and we all drive to Lesotho. At the American Embassy in Maseru I am happy that I know the desk clerk who serves us. 'Mabereng used to be Willie Mafoso's girlfriend and they were so tight we all thought they would marry. Adele had already regarded her as a sister-in-law. Even after they broke up 'Mabereng and Adele continued to be buddies. The Embassy already has our applications and I have paid the necessary fees. She takes the children for an interview by the Consular Affairs staff and asks us to come next week to collect the passports with the visas stamped on them.
I take the kids to see Adele's relatives in Leribe and leave them there so that Adele's sister, 'Mapolao, can take them to the village to see Adele's parents. Gugu and I go to the Eastern Cape to see the Bee People. As usual we end up in Mafeteng to visit my mother. I find that she does not altogether remember me. Zwelakhe tells me that he plans to hold a very big party for her. I give him some money as my contribution towards the party.
On the 10th of July we get the visas and drive back to Johannesburg. Our holiday in Johannesburg is almost over since we only budgeted for two weeks. We have been here for twelve days already, so in two days' time we'll be flying back. The kids are looking forward to spending the rest of the summer at the Athens Community Swimming Pool with their friends.
The next day I get an email from Jed T Dornburg, the Vice-Consul at the US Embassy in Lesotho. It reads:
The U.S. Embassy is cancelling the H4 visas of Zukile Mda and Zukiswa Zenzile Moroesi Mda issued 10 July 2006. The visas were cancelled due to lack of custody on the part of the parent present at the interview. The Embassy requires either consent, in writing or in person, by both parents, or proof of permanent sole custody, without
visitation rights, by the parent applying. Should the situation change the Embassy will be happy to consider the applicants for visas.
visitation rights, by the parent applying. Should the situation change the Embassy will be happy to consider the applicants for visas.
There is no way we can go back to America when the children's visas have been withdrawn. It turns out that 'Mabereng alerted Adele that I was applying for visas for the children and Adele sent an urgent fax to the Embassy, which was later given to me by the American Consulate in Johannesburg.
This letter informs
you
that I do not give permission to have my children's visas renewed
, she writes. She goes further to claim that I took the children out of South Africa despite the fact that she has custody of them.
Already we have learned that Zakes has actually taken leave from Ohio University for the Fall quarter, 2007 and there is no guarantee that the children will be brought back to Athens
, she adds. All this, of course, is patently false, she does not have custody, and I am not on leave but am returning with the kids to Athens to resume my job as a professor at the university there. She just wants to muddy the waters. But it is enough to have the visas withdrawn.
This letter informs
you
that I do not give permission to have my children's visas renewed
, she writes. She goes further to claim that I took the children out of South Africa despite the fact that she has custody of them.
Already we have learned that Zakes has actually taken leave from Ohio University for the Fall quarter, 2007 and there is no guarantee that the children will be brought back to Athens
, she adds. All this, of course, is patently false, she does not have custody, and I am not on leave but am returning with the kids to Athens to resume my job as a professor at the university there. She just wants to muddy the waters. But it is enough to have the visas withdrawn.
I do not understand why she does not want the kids to get visas and return to America when both of us, their parents, live in America. Buzz Ball consults with her lawyer and both lawyers try to persuade her to change her mind. Both lawyers fail.
While there is this flurry of correspondence between Buzz, Adele and even the Domestic Relations Court our time at Judith Lodge comes to an end. We have to move out. Thankfully, Gugu welcomes us at her townhouse. She looks after the kids while I fly to America to sort the matter out. Only the final decree of divorce will solve the problem, I tell my lawyer. A date is set for the divorce hearing, but Adele manages to have it postponed because she says she will be out of town. I have to return to Johannesburg empty-handed. The kids are beginning to get restless. Gugu and I take them to the skating rink at Northgate Mall and to the Gold Reef City amusement park to keep up the holiday spirit.
On one such trip we go to the Hector Peterson Museum in Soweto. We have parked the car just outside the museum. On the sidewalk vendors are selling all sorts of arts and crafts. We are just lazing around on the lawn eating
amagwinya
fat cakes and
atchaar
when suddenly
we see Oprah Winfrey strolling towards us. She is with a girl in a green and yellow uniform. She is perhaps in her early to mid-teens and they are talking animatedly and laughing. Two gigantic African American guys are following them at a respectful distance. I reckon they are Ms Winfrey's bodyguards. There is also a cameraman who is walking backwards in front of them filming them. I think it is just for the archives rather than for her programme because she is in a very informal grey tracksuit and is not wearing any make-up. Gayle King, Ms Winfrey's friend, and another African American woman I do not recognise are standing next to us talking quite loudly and laughing.
amagwinya
fat cakes and
atchaar
when suddenly
we see Oprah Winfrey strolling towards us. She is with a girl in a green and yellow uniform. She is perhaps in her early to mid-teens and they are talking animatedly and laughing. Two gigantic African American guys are following them at a respectful distance. I reckon they are Ms Winfrey's bodyguards. There is also a cameraman who is walking backwards in front of them filming them. I think it is just for the archives rather than for her programme because she is in a very informal grey tracksuit and is not wearing any make-up. Gayle King, Ms Winfrey's friend, and another African American woman I do not recognise are standing next to us talking quite loudly and laughing.
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