Somewhere in Between (29 page)

"It felt weird having her so far away," Elliot contributed, ignoring the jabs.

"That's a good feeling to hang on to, son," Dalton said to Elliot but smiled at Grace. "It's a real good feeling to hang on to."

After a another twenty minutes passed, another text revealed the Grady’s were closing in on home and with a quick hug and kiss to his laughing parents, Elliot was out the door and on his way to Gemma's house. He got there before they did, driving like a bat out of hell, and with the summer night being relatively warm, opted to sit on the hood of his car until they arrived.

It was only minutes later he saw headlights come his way. As Andrew Grady’s Tahoe pulled into the driveway, Elliot hopped off his hood and hurried to Gemma's side, opening the door for her. In yet another movie moment cliché, the two teens clung to one another as though years had passed and not a few days.

Andrew and Caroline just laughed as they grabbed their bags to head into the house.

"I missed you so much," Gemma murmured against Elliot's lips.

"I missed you too," Elliot breathed her in. After a moment of the two just holding one another, Elliot pulled away and cupped Gemma's face in his hands. "Are you okay?"

With a watery smile, she nodded. "Yeah, I mean I will be." Her departure from her sister still stung, but the strong hug they shared, and the promise to stay in touch at least once a day helped Gemma let her sister go so that she could do all the things she was meant for; that hug and promise made it a little easier. "I called Leigh when we landed and we spoke for most of the drive until we got closer to home. I think… I think we'll be okay."

With an easy smile, Elliot grabbed Gemma's bag and walked with her into the house. "We'll be okay. From here on out. Things will be okay."

"So, what did you do while I was out slugging Leigh's possessions in the humidity of Tennessee?"

"I hung out with Josh, actually," Elliot answered hoping not to blush at thinking about that conversation. "It was good."

"I'm glad. Sometimes I worry I'm keeping you from your other friends."

"You aren't. But yeah, we had a good talk, played video games and bugged my mom," he laughed, though he was quickly becoming distracted by the way Gemma filled out her khaki shorts as she marched up the stairs before him. He found the levity of their conversation was dissipating and another emotion was taking over. He just hoped he wasn't moving too fast.

"Poor woman," Gemma laughed as they moved to her room. She watched Elliot plant her bag onto her bed, and then a look pass over his face. It was intense and made her stomach flutter. And it was in a good way.

"I missed you, Gemma," Elliot murmured as he stepped closer. The moment they were in her room, his brain focused on the location and all the rest muddied into everything he'd spoken to Josh about. He could see her eyes widen slightly as he stepped a mere inch from her, and could feel with every breath she took, her chest brush against his. But she wasn't afraid of him so he pressed forward. "I missed you so fucking much," he declared before lowering his head and claiming her mouth with his.

It was their most passionate kiss yet and made Gemma forget every thought she had. It was overwhelming and beautiful and she wished so badly it could lead to more. But there was one thought still persevering: not only was she not ready for it to get that far, but her parents were just right down stairs, and her door was still open - as per the rules.

Breaking away, her breathing ragged, she pressed her hands against his chest to steady the both of them. "We need to stop," she gasped.

"I know," he agreed, his eyes pinched tight. His body was surging forward while his logic tried to rein it in. Inhaling deeply, he released the breath slowly. As he opened his eyes, he could see Gemma's cheeks were flushed and her eyes bright. She looked breathtaking. "I should go. But I'll call you."

With a smile, Gemma nodded. "Okay."

"I'm glad you're back," he said with a smile.

Elliot departed and sped home to have yet another cold shower, with visions of the way Gemma was panting against him flashing behind his eyes. Though he felt this time, the need for the cold showers might be coming to an end sooner rather than later.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Junior year of school started out quiet and for the most part, nothing major happened.

A few weekend into classes was Elliot's seventeenth birthday. Gemma had wanted to throw Elliot a party, a way to thank him for being there for her so much, but the idea of being surrounded by so many people - and Elliot was popular, loads of people would want to attend, especially girls - made Gemma verge on panicky. So instead, she decided, with Grace's permission, to cook Elliot a full birthday dinner at his house, complete with dessert and appetizer.

For their starter, Gemma asked her mother to help her make an onion blossom. It was good to be with Caroline in the kitchen, watching the woman who, for all intents and purposes really was her mother, help her make a birthday meal for her boyfriend. It was a good bonding moment between the two, especially after everything, and she was so glad to see the smile on Caroline's face when she asked. Plus, she knew her mom would make it a true southern treat.

Elliot wanted steak and potatoes for his main dish. Gemma laughed because it was such a typical guy meal. But she acquiesced since it was his birthday. But to flare it up, Gemma made garlic mashed potatoes with a little sour cream and chives added in, and sprinkled parmesan over the top of the steak.

For dessert, she'd baked Elliot a peach cobbler. He wasn't a big fan of cake, he'd told her, and from the moans he couldn't control, as well as the three slices he shoveled down, Gemma knew he had enjoyed the pie. Though, she did make dark chocolate cupcakes with blue and yellow frosting for his family and everyone else to have when they celebrated all together.

As for her gift, Gemma spent months trying to come up with the perfect present for the man who had saved her life and then gave her his heart. Elliot's family had a reasonable amount of money, so Elliot rarely wanted for anything. She thought of getting him concert tickets to see a band he liked, but none were coming, and she would want to go with him but knew it was still too soon for her to feel comfortable with that.

Then she thought about the fact that Elliot liked to play piano sometimes, though he would tell his mom otherwise. She thought about getting him music, but that just seemed like giving him work. Even buying him a book to write his own songs in, or a way to compose them seemed like more of a hassle than a gift. In the end, after speaking with Grace and crying for nearly an hour as a result of that conversation, Gemma decided she was going to buy Elliot a new jacket.

It wasn't something that she thought about a lot, being in the grand scheme of things, fairly minor, but as Gemma sat with Grace one day, waiting for Elliot to get back from the store with his dad, Grace happened to mention that perhaps Elliot might like a new jacket. It was meant to be an innocent suggestion, though immediately after, Grace seemed to regret it given the context surrounding the need. Still, it pushed so many thoughts into Gemma’s mind that she instantly burst into tears.

She realized that the jacket he'd worn the night of her attack, his favourite jacket in fact, had been ruined. It was only after being asked about why he hadn't worn it for so long, did Elliot finally tell his mom it had stains on it and he had tossed it. When Grace inquired as to what type of stains and why he didn't put it in the laundry room for her to get it dry-cleaned, Elliot finally admitted the stains were blood. Gemma's blood.

Gemma remembered Elliot covering her after he found her, and now she realized he had used his jacket to do so. That night was attached to his favourite jacket and he couldn't hang on to it any longer. So it was decided, she would, with her parents help, buy Elliot a new jacket. Similar, but new.

When she gave him his gift, Elliot was speechless. He'd had no idea Gemma remembered the jacket, or thought about it. He had no idea she would put that much thought into his birthday gift. But in the end, he told her that while dinner would have been enough, he loved his gift, and would wear it forever.

"I love you so much, Gemma," Elliot whispered to her as they sat wrapped around one another on the loveseat in the living room. The large screen television was playing the newest Nathan Pitt Zombie movie, in High Definition, similar but different to the book Gemma had purchased, and was the only light in the room. "Thank you so much for my birthday presents."

"You’re welcome," she said sweetly. "I love you so very much, too."

*LtB*

Homecoming was on a different date this school year, but as that fateful October day approached, Gemma became more and more uneasy. She knew, logically, the day hadn't done anything to her. She knew, logically, the date meant nothing in the grand scheme of things because it didn't choose for her to be hurt on it just the same as the date didn't design for anything to happen. It merely showed, let the sun rise and set, and went about its business without thought or care to the billions and billions of lives getting through it.

Sunday morning, when she woke from several nightmares she couldn't recall, Gemma looked out the window and noticed the sun streaming into her window. She could hear birds chirping. And the smell of breakfast being made filtered throughout the house. It was Sunday and just because Leigh was off succeeding at school didn't mean breakfast was cancelled. Sometimes Andrew attended if he didn't get called into work. Most of the time Elliot was there.

Today would be no exception. Though Andrew had purposefully refused to work this Sunday no matter what.

With a steadying breath, Gemma sat up and rubbed her eyes. She refused to look at her wall calendar, one that held cute little puppies and kittens with half-naked firefighters that Trent had jokingly given her because he wanted to give her something to smile at since, as he put it, he wouldn't be around to do that in person anymore. Instead of looking at the date, instead of acknowledging it for what it was, Gemma got out of bed, headed to the bathroom and started the shower.

As she lathered and washed, she refused to let her mind drift back to the year before, where as she showered and pretended to get ready for a movie date she never had. Instead, Gemma focused on the way Elliot's smile had changed, become almost like a secret between the two of them.

Things had started to progress between them, becoming more intimate, more… charged. On one hand, she reveled in the feel of it. It was amazing to be so close to someone, to trust someone so completely, and she wanted that so desperately. On the other hand, she had become terrified of it for a new reason. While there was still a part of her that feared the act of sex because of what had happened to her, this new part of her wondered if she would be good for Elliot. That new fear had begun to prevail over her previous fear to the point she had an anxiety attack during her session with Dr. Archuleta.

But after some deep breaths, and a lot of soothing words from Dr. Archuleta, Gemma was able to calm down enough to discuss her fears. In the end, Dr. Archuleta informed Gemma that even if she hadn't been attacked, she would still probably be this nervous thinking about her first time, especially since it wasn't something to go into flippantly. She also told Gemma, Elliot was probably just as nervous as she was and that speaking with him about her fears was probably a good way to go if they one day decided to move forward with their relationship.

Sex was a big deal, and not something to be taken lightly. Dr. Archuleta informed Gemma that it would be good to discuss this with her mother, so that when the time finally did come, Gemma could be prepared for it. They also spoke about how Gemma would feel once the time had come. Needless to say, Gemma knew it was possible for her to have a panic attack if she did speak to Caroline and they did get her…protected. But she also knew she couldn't hide away from life forever. Sex was a part of life, and whether she liked it or not, seeing a doctor was too. Dr. Archuleta promised to be by her phone the day that appointment occurred, just in case.

After leaving that session, Gemma called Leigh before walking to the lobby to meet her mom.

And she didn't even let her sister get out a full greeting before she launched in with her questioning. "Do you think mom will freak out too much if I ask her to help me get birth control?"

"
Um, hi to you, too,"
Leigh laughed. Then became serious. "
Are you sure you're ready for that?"

"Yes. No. I mean I want to be prepared for when I am ready. Whenever that day comes," Gemma answered, her voice shaky.

There was silence for a long time. And Gemma had to check her phone to make sure she hadn't lost the call. When Leigh finally did speak, she sounded almost… hesitant. "
No, mom won't freak out. When I asked a few years ago, she just said she knew this day would come sooner or later and we made an appointment for the following week. She wasn't too thrilled about it, but she supported me through it."

"But?" She knew there had to be one. Leighanna’s tone of voice suggested as much.

"
But… given what happened, I think she may be more reluctant,"
Leighanna answered honestly.
"It's almost been a year, but, and I know you know this better than anyone, it's still fresh in everyone's mind. Just… tread lightly when you talk to her."

And that's just what Gemma did. On the drive home, Gemma broached the subject, wanting to pull the band aid off swift, and just as Leigh predicted, Caroline was very uncertain, if not a lot worried about how Gemma would not only react, but also if she had thought the whole thing out or if she was feeling some unknown pressure. But after Gemma informed her that she still had to meet with a doctor every six months for testing, on top of having the dreaded yearly exam, Caroline seemed to relent a little. Especially after Gemma said she'd grown less fearful of seeing the doctor because she knew, with guidance from Dr. Archuleta, these things were necessities and that no one was going to hurt her. Breathing exercise helped too. But the situation, having birth control so that one day-she hoped sooner rather than later, though she kept that part to herself-she and Elliot could finally be together, that was completely different. She understood the magnitude of what she was after, as did Elliot.

"He's not pressuring me, if that's what you're implying,” Gemma had said as the scenery passed her by, including the large glass ‘satellite’ dish near the interstate by Huron. "If anything, he's being very… controlled. No, that's not the right word." She didn't know how to describe how amazing her boyfriend was being without sounding like an idiot. "He told me we would wait until we were both ready and sure and that he didn't want to rush anything. This isn’t something either of us want to rush into."

That seemed to be what Caroline wanted to hear, because as soon as they arrived home, she called her doctor to make Gemma an appointment, thankfully right after her next therapy session so they didn't need to make more than one trip during the week.

They both decided Andrew did not need to know about this though. There are just some things a father doesn't need to know about his daughter, especially when it comes to girly issues and sex.

Gemma didn't tell Elliot about the appointment either. She didn't want to inadvertently put pressure on him, or lead him to think she was ready right that second. She just wanted to be prepared. She did tell her sister though.

"
I can't believe you're growing up,"
Leighanna sniffed into the receiver.
"I remember moving into your house when you were still a child. And now this?"

Gemma laughed at her sister's dramatics. "I had to grow up sometime, Leigh."

"
I know,"
Leighanna murmured.
"I'm glad you're being responsible about things, too. I'm sure mom is as well. But you will always be a little girl in Andrew's eyes."

Those thoughts were battling to stay in the forefront of her mind as the date kept fighting to be front and center. It was an interesting dichotomy. On one hand, she was trying her best to avoid thinking about the main reason sex was still an anxious topic for her. Not a frightening one, but an anxious one. And then there was the thought where the more her lips touched Elliot's, the more she let herself explore to his neck, feeling him explore her, the more she wanted to do more and have them become more. If not for Leigh or Dr. Archuleta, it would have been an entirely internal battle. Except neither would let her stew. It helped and embarrassed her at the same time.

It was in these moments when Gemma truly missed her friendship with Christie.

The unfortunate side was that after their talk, Christie had steadfastly avoided Gemma as much as possible. Anytime she would visit at the Wade house, she would learn Christie had left or was locked in her room refusing to leave it. And then once school started up again, even though they had two classes together, Christie sat in the front of the room, right in front of the teacher's desk and wouldn't even look at Gemma.

She had slowly started to accept that a friendship reconciliation with Christie really was no longer in the cards.

Finishing up her shower and rushing to get dressed, Gemma headed down stairs to find her mother and father sitting and chatting with Elliot. Everyone had a plate made up and there was even one waiting for her. As she sat down, her eyes welled with tears for the first time that morning but she refused to let them fall. She didn't want to see pity or sorrow.

"This looks good, mom," she commented, hoping to keep her voice from sounding too watery. With the smile directed at her, she slowly released the breath she’d been holding. The last thing she needed or wanted was to fall apart. Satisfied her emotions were under control, Gemma smiled before grabbing the homemade syrup and pouring it over her pancakes. That seemed to break the spell and everyone else began to dig in to the food.