Somewhere in My Heart (11 page)

Billie insisted, “We should put it to rest, so we can go on living our normal lives.  But, you know I meant what I said to you on my wedding day.  I will admit that I avoided you before that. I wouldn’t talk to you when we were all in Houston.  Ricky didn’t know about us at the time.  He figured it out later.  He wasn’t upset with you; he was upset with me for lying to him. He has accepted it because I have convinced him that I am over it.” 

Chris pleaded, “Are you really?  I don’t want you to be traumatized.” 

Billie argued, “I don’t think I need a shrink, if that’s what you are implying.  I am leading a normal life.  I am married to the man of my dreams, living in the greatest city in the country, and am about to have a baby with a man I love more than anything.” 

Chris tried to get her to open up, “Yes, but don’t you feel like something is not quite right?” 

Billie feared, “I’m not sure I know what you mean.” 

Chris pronounced, “I know that you still feel uneasy when I am around you.  I know that you worry about Joy and how I am treating her.  There is the part of you that still sees me as a drunk and an alleged murderer.  I wish you could learn to see the real me and how I really am.”  Billie knew he was right and so she did the only thing she could think of, to hug him. 

While she was hugging him, Ricky walked up to the hot tub. 

He complained, “It is a little too hot in here for my taste.”

Billie knew Ricky was jumping to conclusions.  He was misled because he knew of her history with Chris.  He couldn’t possibly doubt her love for him. But, she had to go explain things to him.  Chris decided to go see Joy. 

Billie caught up with Ricky in their room.  She lectured, “Why did you say that?  That is all we need, for our friends to think we don’t trust each other.” 

Ricky demanded, “You should be more worried about your husband not trusting you, instead of everyone else.  Your actions speak louder than words.  You may be giving someone the wrong idea.  Chris is not the person you should be messing with, he's unstable.  Don’t you remember what he has done to you?  Do you want that to happen again?  I don’t want to see him put his hands on you ever again.” 

Billie added, “I thought we were clear on that subject.  You know how he has changed and doing much better.  Joy would not be with him if he were still verbally or physically abusive.  I believe that he has improved and you should, too.  He is a great guy, and you should give him a chance.”

Ricky ordered, “I don’t know if I can do that.  I thought he was over you.  But, after I saw him hugging you tonight, I am not so sure.  He still has a lot of issues to work out.  I will be keeping an eye on him and I think you should watch your back as well.”

Billie suggested, “I think I should leave you alone before we say something that we will regret.  I hate having disputes with you.  I never want us to argue again.”  She left the room, wondering what Ricky was contemplating.  She wondered if he would assume she was running to Chris.  That was the last thing on her mind. 

She wanted to really think about how her past involvement with Chris was affecting her life.  Chris was the one who had pointed it out.  It never bothered her until he mentioned it.  She had to discover her true feelings about it, the ones she had tried to mask.  If she didn’t, it could affect her relationship with Chris, Joy, and most especially, Ricky.  She walked over to a railing and looked at the waves.  She started thinking about the nights she sat on the beach and looked off in to the distance, at Ricky’s house.  Then, it reminded her of the night Chris attacked her.  She tried to think of a more pleasant thought, but just kept thinking about that. She wanted to make sure she was never hurt like that again.  She wasn’t worried about that happening with Ricky.  She only hoped she wouldn’t hurt him in the meantime. 

She had to tell Chris that they couldn’t be friends anymore, or at least not communicate until things cool off with Ricky. She knew Ricky couldn’t be so spiteful to him forever.  She thought once the baby was born, Ricky would change his attitude about things.  She had heard how bringing a new life in to the world could make you see things from a different perspective.  She turned around towards the entrance to the rooms, and that is when she slid.  She had been so preoccupied earlier, and caught up in her thoughts and worries, that she didn’t notice the signs on the deck.  They were warnings of waves making the deck slippery.  There was especially a lot of moisture, excess water from the saunas, and the approaching storm clouds. She fell pretty hard and hit her head on the railing.  She couldn’t move or say anything.  She tried opening her eyes, but she couldn’t. 

Subconsciously, she was just hoping someone would find her.  Maybe Ricky would come looking for her, when she didn’t return to their room.  But, after their fight, he might assume she wanted to be alone.  She wanted him to find her for the baby’s sake.  Then, she faded further away.  She no longer had thoughts of her rescue.  It seemed to her that she was in some kind of trance.

The moonlight was cascading along the ocean with the ship.  It was way past midnight, and those that were not partying were asleep.  Ricky was not one of those people. He was in his room, wondering what Billie was doing.  He wanted to go ask Maria if she had seen her, but didn’t want them to worry.  But, in his state, he didn’t care.  He couldn’t go to sleep angry with his wife.  He was afraid that making her upset would in turn hurt the baby. He couldn’t let that happen.  He left the room and went looking for her.

Water started rolling across the deck and some of it was splashing on Billie.  She finally woke up, but only to find herself in a different place.  She was lying on a beach and the waves were crashing over her.  She must have been thinking that the water was on the deck instead.  She stood up and looked around.  She couldn’t see a thing.  Her vision was blurred.  She could make out a few palm trees.  The sky was so blue. She figured the storm must have passed over when she was unconscious.  Once she could see, it looked like she was the only one there.  She tried to walk around to find some signs of life.  She then heard a plane.  She saw it approaching the island.  It landed on the water.  A man exited the aircraft.  He was wearing an outfit like you might see on Indiana Jones.  When he finally made his way on to the beach, he yelled, “Are you the person they sent to help me?” 

Billie advised, “I don’t know what you are talking about.  Who are you?” 

He decided, “I guess they left that detail out.  They aren’t supposed to give out top secret information.  That’s usually how it goes on these kinds of assignments.  We can just use code names.  Mine is Robert.  Yours can be Memory. I think it fits.”  Billie was sure that this guy was on some major drugs.  She thought she should start running.  Then, he suggested, “I think we should start looking before it gets dark.  The natives around here are more likely to hunt at night.”  She didn’t want to be left alone with possible cannibals nearby. She figured she would be safer with him since he was armed.  He had some equipment to use to set up camp, and a few other things that would come in handy.

They started walking through the jungle that seemed to go on and on forever.  Robert, who was awfully quiet, finally broke the silence.  He assured, “I know you must be anxious to find your husband.  I can understand why this had to be kept a secret from the media.”  Billie couldn’t remember much.  She didn’t know what he was talking about, or even who her husband was.  But, she did have the feeling that she had lost something and she had to find it.  She was hoping that maybe once she found him, she would remember something.  Robert looked familiar to her.  She just knew she had seen him somewhere before, but could not think of where.

They had walked at least five miles before setting up a camp.  Robert made a camp fire. She found them some fruit.  After they finished eating, Robert asked, “So, tell me about you.” 

She bargained, “Next question.” 

Robert grinned, “Oh, I’m sorry.  I keep forgetting the rules. We are not supposed to ask personal questions.  It is against regulation.  We are only here to work.” 

She was confused enough and didn’t want to know what he was referring to; she just wanted to go to sleep.They woke up at sunrise.  They were supposed to climb a huge hill.  They made it safely across.  There was a waterfall on one side of it.  They stopped to get some water to drink and to clean themselves.  The water felt good because the heat was extreme.  They went swimming for a few minutes before going back to their search.  Robert admitted, “I’ll be glad when we have reached the other side of the island.” 

“Why is that?”  She asked. 

He acknowledged, “That will mean that he is not here and we can leave.  But, then again, that is not a good sign.  Then, we won’t have a clue as to where he could be.  This may be our only hope.”  Memory felt as if she were supposed to be upset by this news, but she couldn’t be because she didn’t remember anything.  She wondered what would happen after they left the island.  She hoped a change in scenery would trigger something. 

Robert instructed, “I think I should give you a weapon to defend yourself.  We are getting closer to the natives camp.  With luck, we may get around them without them seeing us.  You need something to protect you in case we have to separate.” 

She wasn’t too comfortable about the idea.  But, she knew it was imperative for her survival.  He gave her a knife. She figured she could at least get that right.  Guns made her nervous for some reason. 
             
They started looking for a safe place to sleep.  They saw a cave and Robert checked it out before they went in.  He said it seemed safe.  It wasn’t dark yet, but they didn’t want to risk being stuck in the middle of enemy territory. She didn’t like the silence, but Robert said it was too dangerous.  They had to be quiet or else they would be caught.  She was almost afraid to fall asleep, but she couldn’t keep her eyes open.  She was more tired than she thought.  She did toss and turn in her sleep. 

She felt something and thought it was Robert trying to wake her up.  It wasn’t Robert. She was being tied up and she couldn’t get away.  Robert was nowhere in sight.  She wondered if they had captured him as well…or if they had done something worse to him. Whoever it was that kidnapped her, had also caught Robert.  He was tied to a pole outside of a small hut where they took her.  She didn’t know what to expect.  She pondered if they were going to use her for a human sacrifice or something.  They were putting some kind of oily substance on her.  She thought, “Are they going to hang me over an open fire, or is this some sick custom of theirs?”  After they put a different outfit on her, they left the room. A few moments later, a man came in and walked over to her in the corner.  She put two and two together, and knew that the custom was for her to become his slave or one of his wives.  She remembered seeing something similar to this on a nature program.

She couldn’t escape.  Robert could hear her screaming.  After a few minutes, he managed to free himself and went to rescue her.  The man started chasing them, with others following.  They were running so fast that they weren’t paying attention to where they were headed. 

Robert asked, “Can you swim?  Because there is a waterfall up ahead and we have no choice, but to jump.” 

So, that’s what they did.  The only problem was, Memory’s arms were tied up, so Robert had to grab her and help her get out of the water without drowning.  They luckily escaped.  They remained hidden behind the waterfall, until they hoped the coast was clear.  They had to figure out how they were going to get past them again.  Robert wondered if they were guarding something on the other side of the island. 

He hoped, “Maybe we’ll find much more than what we came here to find.”  Memory just wanted to see who her husband was, the man he was referring to the whole time.  She had the feeling that the worse part wasn’t over yet.

They didn’t wait overnight to leave because they knew it would give the savages plenty of time to find them again.  This time, they did split up.  Memory still had her knife, but hoped she wouldn’t have to use it.  She wished she would have had it earlier, and then she wouldn’t have been almost sexually assaulted. Robert told Memory where to meet back, right before they had separated.  She just prayed she didn’t get lost first.  She was doing okay, just hearing an occasional monkey or bird. After being kidnapped, she had the right to be paranoid.  She made it through the jungle and somehow ended up in front of what seemed to be a volcano.  She saw an entrance and proceeded.