Song Of The Warrior (28 page)

They started walking back toward the camp. “The children will be so thrilled. For the last several days, I've been feeding them horse meat and telling them it was venison.” Frankly, the thought of food nauseated her and she was puzzled as to why. She decided she would share her portion around with the old and the wounded. It seemed ironic to her that citizens of the United States who had fought the British for their own freedom, wanted to pen up or kill the Nez Perce whose only crime was wanting the same thing the Americans had fought for.

Dogs began to bark as she and Raven walked across the camp circle. Willow looked up to see a tall, big-shouldered man riding a fine red-spotted Appaloosa out of the woods. Now who in the world—?

For a long moment, she stared at him as he loped his horse toward her, then she shook her head. No, because she had loved him so much, her mind and her sight were playing tricks on her. It might even be a spirit vision appearing out of the pale lavender twilight. Yet as he loped closer and closer, she could hear the sound of the Appaloosa's hooves. He swung down off his horse, stood there looking at her. Very slowly, he held out his arms.

Her heart gave a leap and she cried out and began to run, tears trickling down her cheeks. “Bear! Oh, Bear, you've come back to me!”

It seemed like a million miles across that ground although she never felt her feet touch the dirt. Somehow, she was afraid what she was seeing was a dream and he would vanish before she could reach him. Then she was in his arms and he was holding her so tightly, she couldn't breathe as he swung her off the ground. “Hello, green-eyed girl; I've missed you.”

He was real. His flesh was warm and she felt his heart beating against her as he kissed her. For a long moment, nothing else existed but Bear, the magic of his embrace and the fact that he was here, alive and holding her in his arms.

“Oh, Bear. . . .” Willow was so overcome, she could say nothing more as she hugged him and wept.

“Hey, this is no time to cry,” he whispered against her ear.

“I-I can't help it,” she wept. “I thought you were dead.”

He didn't let go of her, holding her close in the powerful circle of his arms. He stroked her hair. “It's a long story I'll tell you later.” He stood her on the ground now and turned with a smile toward his brother.

Raven. She hadn't even thought of him. From the moment she had seen her beloved, nothing and no one else had mattered. They both turned toward the younger man.

“Raven, glad to see you.” He held out his hand.

The color came back to Raven's face and his smile looked genuine and warm as he hurried across the circle to pump Bear's hand and slap him on the shoulder. “We all thought you were dead! Where have you been?”

“In the stockade, recovering from my wounds,” Bear said and turned loose of Willow to clap both hands on his brother's shoulders. “Looks like you've managed to take care of things without me.”

“Why, yes.” Raven looked a trifle disconcerted. “With you gone, I had to take over.”

“He's become a respected warrior,” Willow said. “You'll be proud of him.” Her gaze caught Raven's and for a split second, they looked into each other's eyes. The sickening realization swept over her; she and Raven had betrayed Bear; but they hadn't meant to; they had thought he was dead. In that moment, with her glance, she told Raven that they must keep the secret forever. She loved Raven, but her heart belonged to his big brother; always had. She had never lied to Raven about that. Yet Bear must never know what had happened in that one brief moment of weakness when they thought he was dead.

Yes, it was their secret; Willow was certain no other member of the tribe even suspected the pair had broken the taboo. Their coupling had happened quickly in the darkness with no one else around. Ever since then, she and Raven had behaved so distantly. Anyway, there was too much death and misery in the camp for the others to think of anything else. Their transgression would seem minor by comparison.

About that time, the toddler and Atsi yelled and started toward them.

Bear made a soft noise of dismay.

Willow looked up at him anxiously. “What's happened to Rainbow; do you know?”

“She's dead; it's a long story,” he muttered. “Someone will have to break it to them gently; she was a heroine; she helped me get away. There's a lot to tell.”

And so much that could never be told, Willow thought in silent anguish, almost wishing she could trade places with Rainbow and not be facing this horrible dilemma.

The children rushed up to him and he bent to talk to them. “I am glad to see you both.”

The little girl smiled. “With you back, we know everything will be all right now.”

Bear hugged Willow to him again. “Haven't Raven and Willow been taking care of you?”

“Oh, yes,” Atsi said, nodding. “Raven is known now as a very brave warrior.”

Bear turned and grinned at Raven. “Didn't we always know he would be? I think I need to report in to Joseph and the council about what I've seen and heard. Afterward, I want to gather around the fire and hear everything.”

Raven nodded. “Yes, I will go with you, brother. Maybe Willow can cook the fish I caught and we will eat and talk later.”

Although she was loathe to let him out of her sight, Willow nodded and watched the two walk away together; the brothers talking rapidly, genuinely glad to see each other.

She sighed and motioned the children to go with her. She wished she knew more about Rainbow's death. Later, someone would have to tell them. Bear. Bear had returned. Willow felt guilty as she stared after his tall form because nothing else seemed so important to her as the fact that he was alive. She wished a million times now that the brief moment in Raven's arms had never happened, but she couldn't change that.

She knew then that she must keep that secret forever, no matter how heavy the burden became. She must not destroy the friendship between the brothers and it might break Bear's heart to know she had been in Raven's embrace that one night. None of them might live long enough to finish this terrible journey and it would devastate Bear to know that he had been betrayed by his brother and his woman. She loved them both, but in different ways, so she would carry the burden of that secret forever.

Raven loved his brother enough to be glad Bear was alive and well, he thought as they walked toward the council circle. But he loved Willow, too; perhaps even more than Bear loved her. However, there was no question in his mind which one of the two Willow loved. Raven had seen her face; the way she had run into Bear's arms. She had never loved anyone but his brother. Bear was her whole world and always would be. With the last breath she drew, she would call his name.

All Raven could ever really have of her was the memory of that brief moment in her arms that night on the Lolo Trail when they weren't certain any of them were going to survive. That incident had been Raven's fault and he knew it. Willow's happiness meant everything to him, so he would never tell his brother, although it would be sheer torture to think of her in Bear's arms. To protect the happiness of them both, Raven would keep the secret and the memory locked in his heart forever. He had never felt such agony as he felt now.

The drums began to beat and the men were already gathering around the fire as the pair walked up. The warriors hurried to speak to Bear, wanting the details as he knew them. Sparks flew up into the blackness of the hot summer night as the pipe began its solemn journey around the warriors. Once, Raven would have been happy and proud that he finally sat in a place of respect, but now, the honor meant little to him.

Ollokot had dark circles under his eyes as if he had not slept. No doubt he was grieving for the beautiful young wife he had lost, but that would not stop him from doing his duty.

Joseph stood and motioned Bear to speak.

Bear's face was grim. “I think we can expect no help from any of our allies and Howard is coming; bringing troops with him.”

Looking Glass said, “You do not think they will give up; let us go in peace?”

“No,” Bear said, shaking his head, “it makes them look like fools if a handful of ‘savages' cannot be captured and made to do as they are told.”

“We are not children to be ordered about,” Ollokot sneered. “We are warriors; do they not know that?”

“Judging from the fresh graves I saw along the way, they have found it out.” Bear smiled without mirth. “The newspapers are full of it, they say at the fort. The army loses face while the public begins to feel sympathy for us.”

Joseph stared into the fire. For a long moment, no one spoke. Somewhere in the darkness, a night bird called and a woman scolded a child. “It is strange the white man does not understand we want our freedom. I have reasoned with them, saying: ‘you might as well expect all rivers to run backward as that any man who was ever a free man should be contented penned up and denied the liberty to go where he pleases.' ”

There were grunts and nods of agreement around the circle. It seemed reasonable to treat white and red man alike, yet the soldiers would not do that.

Raven took a deep breath of the scent of tobacco as the pipe made its rounds and watched his brother. He was proud of Bear and he loved him, but all Raven could think at this moment was the image of Bear swinging Willow up in his strong arms, kissing her. Willow and Bear belonged together. Raven had been without honor to take advantage of her grief that one brief moment.

Finally, Joseph spoke. “Our people are tired and hungry and we have many wounded. Perhaps we should surrender.”

Ollokot took a puff of the pipe and passed it on with much ceremony. “We still have many brave men such as Raven and now, Bear has returned. With a few honored warriors such as these, I could hold the whole army at bay.”

Raven ducked his head modestly. Once he had dreamed of the day when other warriors would speak his name with respect, but he didn't deserve it. Raven was courageous, but he had no honor; he had betrayed his brother.

Bear looked around the circle. “Ollokot is a brave warrior, and our people have been very brave; have suffered much. However, I feel the army will not lose face by letting us go in peace or escaping; I think they intend to throw their whole might against us.”

Looking Glass frowned and the little mirror around his neck reflected the firelight. “All our friends we thought we could count on have turned against us. No one will help us except ourselves. What think you, Hohots?”

Bear sighed and stared into the fire. “It is hundreds of miles to Canada, but I think we have no choice but to try. Perhaps we can stay ahead of the soldiers.”

Joseph said, “With the very old, the babies, and the wounded, we cannot travel very fast.”

“Perhaps,” Raven thought aloud, “we can get word to Sitting Bull and his
E-sa-khoolkt
people will ride south to help us.”

The faces around the fire brightened at this bit of hope.

“I will think on this,” Joseph said, his face grave, “but we may have no other choice. Our scouts will watch the army; the soldiers move slow because of their cannons and pack trains. If we can stay ahead of them, we might make it to the Grandmother's Land and the bluecoats won't come there.”

Everyone nodded and a murmur went around the circle. After a few more minutes of discussion, the meeting broke up.

Bear grinned and put his arm around his brother's shoulders. “I thought it would never end. Come, let us go see if my woman has food ready.”

His woman. Bear slipped so easily back into possessing her. Raven didn't look at him. He was afraid if he did, his brother could look into his eyes and know what had happened. His woman. At least because of the taboo, Bear wouldn't be making love to her for a while. Raven felt torn apart between loyalty and love. “Yes, let us see if Willow has that fish cooked.”

 

 

Willow watched the two brothers walking back toward her fire. As much as Raven loved his brother, she knew how much he also loved her. She pitied him. “I have some food ready,” she said. “What was discussed at the meeting?”

They told her as they ate, Bear in a very good humor, reaching often to touch her hand or shoulder, smiling fondly at his little brother. She could hardly follow the conversation because there was so many other things on her mind.

Raven was trying hard to fill in her silences, but she noticed he also avoided Bear's eyes. It was all she and Raven deserved, she thought miserably, to suffer from guilt and dishonor the rest of their lives. It made her feel no better to know she had been comforting the devastated Raven and both had thought Bear dead at the time. She watched Bear in the firelight, loving him more than she had ever thought possible. She would do everything in her power for the rest of her life to make it up to him.

Bear told them briefly what all had happened to him in the last several weeks, how Rainbow had died. She felt grief for the pitiful woman, relief that Deek Tanner was probably dead, and wondered briefly if Lieutenant Warton was still a threat. For the first time, Bear mentioned the treasure, but she didn't listen, her mind on other things more important than gold to her.

She took some of the food over to the old grandmother's camp and as gently as possible, told her and the children what had happened to Rainbow. “Bear said she was a brave heroine,” she finished, “she helped him escape at the cost of her own life.”

The children hardly seemed to betray any emotion; Rainbow had not been much of a mother or a big sister to them.

However, old
Intetah
sighed and shook her head. “I knew something terrible would happen to my granddaughter. I've raised these girls alone since their parents died of the white man's smallpox. Rainbow could not leave the white men and their firewater alone; it is much the same with many of our women.”

“I am sorry,” Willow said.

The old woman's wrinkled face smiled. “But you have your man back, yes?”

“Yes.” As long as he never finds out about my betrayal, Willow thought. “Tomorrow, Joseph says we turn north. We are going to try for the Grandmother's Country.”

“It is a very long way.”

Willow paused, knowing their thoughts were the same; could they possibly make it across those hundreds of miles to safety with Sitting Bull? “There is nothing we can do but try; unless you want to go back as prisoners.”

The grandmother shook her head. “Better to die in the attempt, but some of us may not make it.”

Willow looked at her, thinking how weary the old woman must be. “We will do what we must.”

“If I don't . . .” The grandmother looked toward the children.

“Of course,” Willow said, nodding, “but you will make it.”

“I only want to know they are cared for,” the old woman said.

“You have my promise,” Willow answered and stood up. She left the old woman's fire, thinking how slim all their chances were against the whole United States Army. However, their warriors were brave and if they could keep the soldiers in sight; stay ahead of them, the Nez Perce might make it across the border.

Yet in spite of everything, Willow's heart was singing as she returned to her own fire. Bear was alive and nothing else mattered. That thought dwarfed everything else in her mind. Raven still sat before that fire with Bear. She joined them and sat silently while they talked. The relationship between the brothers had changed, she realized. Now Raven was a warrior with brave deeds to his credit and Bear was treating him with respect. Everything would have been so perfect, if only ... no, she must try to put that from her mind.

Finally, Bear yawned. “Little brother, it grows late and we will be ready to move by dawn.” He stood up.

Raven stood, too, almost grudgingly.

“Besides, I want to spend a little time with my woman.” With a smile Bear scooped her up in his arms.

“Yes, of course.” Raven didn't look at them as he turned and walked away, his shoulders slumped.

“What is wrong with Raven?” Bear asked.

He must not guess, Willow thought. “He is weary, like the rest of us. The journey has been a terrible ordeal.”

“I know.” He looked down at her. “I saw the graves all along the way as I rode. Do you have a lodge?”

“Just a shelter,” she said. “Everything was either burned by the soldiers or left behind to lighten the travois loads.”

He grunted and carried her where she pointed, stooped to lay her on the buffalo robe.

“Bear,” she said, “remember the taboo.”

“I haven't forgotten.” He lay down next to her with a sigh. “Although I want you bad enough that I wish I could. No warrior would take that chance on bad medicine.”

Except one who was crazy with grief and need like Raven had been that one night, she thought, but she didn't say anything.

“I am probably not even supposed to lie and hold you in my arms,” he murmured, “but I've thought of nothing else in all these weeks.”

“Me, too.” She lay her head in the hollow of his shoulder and closed her eyes. She had a terrible fear that he could look into them and know what terrible thing she and Raven had done.

His fingers felt so gentle brushing the hair from her face. “Oh, Willow of the green eyes, if you only know how often I thought about you! You were the only thing that kept me going when I was wounded and captured; thrown in that little cell.”

And while that was happening, I was lying in your brother's arms. She wasn't sure she could live with this heavy guilt, but she knew she must or break his heart. “Was it terrible at the stockade?”

He grunted “Worse than that; but never mind, everything is right with the world now; my brother is a respected warrior of honor and I have my woman in my arms where she belongs. Did you miss me?”

She didn't open her eyes. “For the first weeks, I wanted to die, too. Raven's grief was worse than mine; he felt so guilty that you had stayed behind to hold the bluff. He said he owed you twice for his life now.”

“He looked after you for me,” Bear whispered, “that is gratitude enough.” He kissed her forehead and she snuggled against his brawny chest. His skin felt warm and she could hear him breathe. If only, she thought bitterly, if only . . .

“Hey, are you weeping?” He wiped the tears from her eyes with a gentle finger.

“I-I can't help it,” she sobbed. “I thought you were dead; and then to have you come back to me—”

“I don't intend to ever be parted from you again,” he promised and held her close. “I love you, Willow, and the thought of your love for me, and how much my brother loved me, was what kept me going all those weeks so that I could escape and make this journey.”

“I love you, too,” she said, snuggling close to him, “more than you can ever possibly know.” She would never tell him her secret, she loved him too much to hurt him.

“Let us get some sleep; Joseph intends for us to set a fast pace from now on; we'll have to outwit the soldiers.”

“Oh, Bear, do we have a chance? Any chance at all?”

“Maybe only a small one,” he admitted, “but I am determined to succeed. Once we are safely across the border, we can live in peace. I dream of making love to you, giving you my child. For that dream, I would fight every soldier in the army.”

She lay in his embrace and said nothing, remembering his virile lovemaking. Perhaps things would work out all right after all. She and Bear would find happiness and maybe someday Raven would find a woman who would return his love. Perhaps no one need ever know the dishonorable deed they had done. The knowledge would destroy the two brothers' friendship and hurt Bear deeply.

Bear's rhythmic breathing told her he was asleep; one big arm thrown protectively and possessively across her body. However, Willow lay there sleepless and concerned. Rainbow was dead and there was the responsibility of the old grandmother and the two children. None of the whole group might survive this terrible journey, but at least, for now, she had her man safe and warm in her arms.

 

 

Dawn came too soon and time to rouse the camp. Willow moved slowly as she gathered things up; she didn't feel very well. In fact, finally, she had to go behind a rock and vomit.