Sophie's Path (14 page)

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

J
ACK
STOOD
ON
the deck of his condo and watched the sky fill with striations of pink, lavender, amber and orange as the sun dropped to the horizon. He'd just finished his second run of the day. He wasn't sure if it was the long summer hours calling him out to the trail or if it was the knowledge that once winter hit, his only option was his treadmill. He didn't want to consider the third reason for his urge to run, which was that no matter how much he accomplished during the day, he couldn't get Sophie out of his mind.

Running till the sweat poured from his body in sheets should have done the trick, but it didn't.

Twenty, no thirty, times a day he heard Sophie's voice telling him that no matter what he did or thought, no matter how guilty he felt, Aleah was never coming back.

Sophie had nailed him. Dead to rights.

He did feel guilty about Aleah. If he hadn't insisted she attend the seminar in Chicago,
none
of this would have happened.

Mainly, though, Jack was guilty of trying to find people to blame to ease his own conscience. He wanted to blame Greg Fulton, the addict who hit them. Blame the drugs. Blame the legal system. Blame the hospital. Blame Sophie for doing her job.

“Sometimes, Jack, you can be the biggest jerk.”

He peeled off his sweat-soaked shirt and draped a towel around his neck. “Stupid, too.”

He glanced down at his feet, where Frenchie was watching the view with him. Mercifully, she made no sign of agreeing with him.

“C'mon, girl. Time for your supper.”

Jack went to the kitchen and put a half cup of dry dog food mixed with two tablespoons of cottage cheese in Frenchie's bowl. The vet had told him about the cottage cheese, which would help her put on weight. Frenchie scarfed down the food in seconds and slurped up some water before prancing over to her pink plaid bed and settling down.

“Good girl. I have to take a shower.”

Frenchie ignored him and closed her eyes, secure in her trust of Jack to do just as he said.

Jack let the water run until it was ice cold. He shampooed his hair, scrubbed himself with a long-handled brush and rinsed off the salt, soap and sweat.

After toweling dry, he put on a clean shirt and jeans. As he combed his wet hair, he looked at his reflection.

“So, Sir Idiot, while Nurse Nightingale is out there in the world trying to save humanity, you need to find a way to dig your way out of this hole you've created.”

He put down the comb on the granite counter.
I should donate the policy. Or I could give her a donation
. He leaned forward and shook his head. “Or you could stick to your guns and steer clear of her altogether.”

His stomach rumbled, and he couldn't help but chuckle. No man could think on an empty stomach.

Jack went to his refrigerator and surveyed the contents. Sophie's words came back to him—again.
She's right. There's no garlic in here
. He opened the freezer.
Nothing fun in here at all
.

He snatched up his car keys and took the stairs to the garage.

* * *

I
T
WAS
AFTER
sundown when Sophie walked into The Louise House. Even this close to nine o'clock, the ninety-degree heat meant Louise Railton's ice-cream shop was packed to capacity.

Sophie carried an Alliance poster under her arm as she circumvented the line and went up to Louise. “Hey, Louise. Is it all right if I put this in the bathroom like we talked about?”

“Sure, honey.” Louise smiled as she scooped up a triple cone for a young boy whose eyes were as big as his face. “Once I get these folks taken care of, you come back. I want you to try my new pineapple-coconut-caramel ice cream. Or are you on that stupid diet again?”

“Tonight, not a problem,” Sophie replied. Finding the bathroom empty, she taped the poster to the back of the door just as Louise had instructed her on the telephone that morning.

As Sophie turned around she spied herself in the full-length mirror. At first she didn't believe her own reflection. Sure, she'd missed some lunches and breakfasts lately, but she was getting really thin. She'd hit her ideal weight, but she didn't feel as good as she had months ago when she was eating organic veggies and running the trail on a consistent basis. There was something to be said about balance in life. She'd been so busy she hadn't even paid attention to her own body. Her work had become her passion, and she was making some good changes, but she knew she couldn't keep up this pace forever. She'd liked the strong body and endless energy she'd had. Was all this passion worth losing herself for?

Maddie was right. I have to rethink my priorities.

Sophie stepped out of the bathroom and got in line behind the last couple, who ordered single-scoop cones. Once they paid and sat down at one of the antique tables that Louise had covered in aqua-and-white-striped canvas, Sophie asked Louise for her ice cream in a dish.

“Sure, honey. Whipped cream?”

“No. Yes. No.” Sophie laughed. “No whipped cream. I want to taste just the flavors.” She paid Louise and then looked around the room.

“I love nights like this,” Louise whispered. “Every seat taken.”

“I guess I'll have to eat standing up.”

“There's a fella back in the corner at a table for two. He's all alone. Maybe he'll share,” Louise said, handing Sophie her change. Then she pointed to the back right of the shop.

Sophie's smile slid off her face.

“Jack.”

“You know him?” Louise asked. “He's new in town, right? He's only been in here once before. Cute.”

“I know him.”

“Good. Then go visit,” Louise urged as a family of four came in the front door. “Hiya, folks! Want to try my new pineapple-coconut-caramel?”

Sophie left Louise to her sales pitch and wended her way to the back table where Jack sat dipping his spoon into a deep dish of what looked like peppermint ice cream mounded with hot fudge.

“I never pegged you for the ice-cream type,” she said.

When Jack lifted his head, Sophie could have sworn she saw a flash of light in his eyes. Was he actually happy to see her? Why?

“It's my vice.”

“Mine, too,” she admitted. “Louise said this is the only available chair in the shop. You can ask her.”

“I believe you.”

“So, do you mind if I join you?”

Jack jumped to his feet so fast he knocked the table. He pulled out the little black wrought iron chair for her. “Please. Sit.”

“Thanks,” she said and placed her dish on the table. She smiled at him as she sat down. He did the same.

“How's Frenchie?” She was just making conversation but was surprised that she truly was interested in the little dog's impact on Jack's life.

“Terrific. Amazingly, she has monopolized every room in the condo. Because she loves the deck as much as I do, I'm getting bids from contractors to put up some kind of screen or mesh so she can't accidentally fall through the railing.”

Sophie's eyes widened. “But she's been all right so far?”

“Absolutely. When I'm home, most of the time she's right on my feet. Literally. Except after she eats. She naps. At night she sleeps with me. Curled next to my neck.”

Sophie's eyes fell to the hard muscles in his neck as they rounded into his shoulders. Frenchie had claimed the exact spot she would have chosen to rest her own head.

Smart dog.

Sophie tore her eyes away and busied herself by tasting Louise's latest concoction. “Oh, my goodness, this is her best yet.”

“No way. This was pretty darn good,” Jack said. “Peppermint with hot fudge on top. I love this at Christmas. My mom gets vanilla ice cream, I crack the candy canes and fold them in. Then I make the fudge.”

“I never would have guessed. You and a kitchen just don't seem to jibe in my mind.”

“Christmas makes gourmets out of many of us,” he countered. “You'd be surprised what talents I have.”

“I'm sure I would.” She stuck her spoon in her ice cream. “Still, this is so refreshing. Here, try it,” she said and shoved the dish toward him. Jack dipped his spoon and tasted.

He closed his eyes. “Sublime. Practically a health food.”

Sophie laughed. She was surprised how good it felt to actually laugh and smile. Why was she tingling all over? And how long had it been since she'd felt even mildly flirtatious?

She took another bite of the ice cream. Just looking at Jack, his T-shirt stretched over his well-defined chest and his biceps bulging out of the short sleeves, made her heart race. She needed a mantra to knock back the attraction.

She watched his lips wrap around another spoonful of ice cream. She couldn't help wondering what it would be like to kiss him.

She mentally erased the image.
Get back on track, Sophie. He's not that into you.

“You come here a lot then?” he asked, wiping his alluring mouth with a napkin.

Sophie averted her gaze. “I do. Or rather, I did. Louise is a friend. She's closed in the winter so we all take advantage during the summer and fall. Wait till you taste her pumpkin-gingersnap ice cream. Seriously, I wait all year for it. It's my grandmother's favorite.”

“Your whole family is addicted to ice cream, then?” Jack cringed. “Sorry. Bad choice of words. I didn't mean to bring any of that up.”

“It's okay,” she said. “Frankly, I was here to give Louise an All—a poster. The ice cream was an afterthought.”

“Oh.”

“She doesn't have much money so her donation was small, but the poster will be seen by a lot of people this summer. I'm also hoping to put up some new ones targeted for elementary kids. This place is busy after school every day during the fall.”

Jack played with his ice cream. “These are all good ideas, Sophie. Are they yours?”

“Some. A lot. I keep doing my research to see what's worked in other cities.”

“And do they work? Really?”

Sophie took a huge hunk of pineapple and chewed the icy piece. “That's a tough question. Are you asking me to round up statistics for you, Jack?”

He shook his head and put down his spoon. “No. Actually, I don't even want to talk about it.”

“Fine.”

Silence.

She studied him. He was still staring at her. “What do you want to talk about?”

“I saw you running. On the trail. I thought you only ran in the evenings.”

“These days, I catch it whenever I can. You?”

“I ran twice today.”

“Holy cow, I'd be exhausted,” she exclaimed. “Once a day is enough for me. But then I'm a beginner. I love it, though.”

“Me, too.”

He toyed with his spoon but didn't eat. Her curiosity had always caused her problems, and sometimes had ended relationships before they began. Still, she had to know. “Were you watching for me, Jack? Is that why you saw me?”

“No. Not really. I just thought you ran in the evening.”

“Because you saw me in the morning—running. That's how you knew. And you saw me in the evening.”

“Yes.”

Sophie didn't know whether to be flattered or to escape. “Why were you watching me?” she blurted out like a three-year-old. Always probing.

“I like the way you run,” he said matter-of-factly. “I watch a lot of people run, but you're a natural. I'm surprised you've only just taken it up.”

She swallowed a spoonful of ice cream. That was honest and more complimentary than she'd imagined. Despite his easy manner, she kept waiting for his wicked tongue to slice her to ribbons. “That's a nice thing to say, Jack.”

“Yeah. Imagine that. A compliment coming from me.”

“I didn't mean it like that,” she countered.

“I know you didn't. But I would have deserved it if you had,” he said. “Anyway, I'd better go before I say anything else.”

He rose, picked up their empty dishes and dropped them off at the dishwasher window. He didn't look back. Didn't wave to Sophie as he went out the door.

Sophie raked her fingers through her hair then stared down at the tabletop. “What just happened?” she murmured.

She was in a conundrum. Jack was obviously doing his best to be friendly, but try as they might, they couldn't stay away from the subject that ripped them apart.

Death was always an emotional issue, and even more so when blame and guilt came into play. Neither of them had moved on, dealt with the pain or had been able to come at the problem from a healthy point of view.

Sophie was aware of what she was doing. She was anesthetizing herself with work. By volunteering for the Alliance, she assuaged her guilt. Slowly, she was able to erase the image of Aleah's pained face from her memory. Sophie knew that given time, months or maybe years, she would forget the contours of Aleah's face, the sound of her voice and the anguish she felt remembering the young woman and her final moments.

If Sophie could go in a room and scream until her throat was raw, perhaps that would help. Wailing. Some of the other nurses had said it helped them during grief. Sophie wasn't so sure. She was ready to try it.

Lurking in the back of her mind was the worry that one day there would be another victim on her table. Another addict she couldn't save. Another innocent victim staring down death because of drugs. How would she control her emotions in the future when she was doing so poorly now?

Her grandmother told her to give her sorrow to the angels. Sophie had tried, but so far, it hadn't worked.

And what of Jack? How was he dealing with his pain? He'd said he'd run twice today. Was that his way of staunching his agony? Did he exhaust himself through exercise?

And what was that about seeing her on the trail?