Sorrows of Adoration (26 page)

The men inspected the
wheel as I wandered just out of the light. The half-moon cast an
eerie glow to the meadow landscape, and I shivered again.

“Your Highness, there
is scoring here,” said one of the men, perhaps the coachman.

Scoring? How would an axle be scored such that it could
break, if it was inspected for weak spots just this
afternoon?
I
wondered.

Then an awful thought
crept into my mind: perhaps someone had meant to have the axle
break along our way.

No,
don’t be silly,
I told
myself.
What
would that gain? The marriage is official and complete. Delaying
the wedding night accomplishes nothing.

Of course, awful
thoughts are inevitably accompanied by worse ones, all in an
avalanche of increased paranoia.

But
what if they also planned to have us followed?
I thought.
What if someone wants me out of Kurit’s
life badly enough to have me killed in his presence? What if
they’re on their way behind us now? Or what if it’s a renewed plot
against Kurit? Or both of us?

The more my mind
pondered these notions, the more frightened I became, and the more
elaborate the scheme became in my mind. A vicious circle of fear
had begun, and before I knew it, I was shuddering in terror, tears
streaking my face.

Kurit came back to my
side, whether to tell me something or because he heard my soft
sobbing, I did not know. But he saw my tears and shaking and grew
instantly concerned.

“You are hurt,” he said
with worry, touching my face and arm gently.

“No, no I’m not,” I
stammered, feeling very foolish. “It’s just, have you ever had an
unpleasant thought pop into your mind, and then as you think about
it, it gets worse, and the worse it gets the harder it is to push
from you mind?”

“What is it? Tell me,
Aenna.”

I shook my head. “I
can’t. You’ll think I’m a fool.”

“I would never think
such a thing of you, my love. Clearly, you’re very upset. Please,
what is it?”

“I overheard the
coachman say the axle looks scored, and it made me wonder
if …” I sighed at my stupidity. “It made me think that
perhaps, if there was someone who truly disapproved of our
marriage, or just wanted one or both of us out of the way, that
maybe they would damage the axle so it would break along our
journey and then have assassins or some such thing coming along
behind us to catch us like this, trapped in the dark in the middle
of nowhere.”

Kurit’s face bore an
odd, blank expression as he fell silent for a moment. I suspected
that he was trying to think of a kind way to tell me not to be so
very ridiculous. But then he looked over my shoulder to the group
of guards and shouted, “We’re going. Now.”

“But, Your Highness,”
one guard protested, “the coach is not yet fixed. The coachman has
just started to bind it together. It will take some time
still.”

“We’re not waiting for
it,” Kurit declared. He put his arm around me and guided me to
where a guard stood holding the reins of the horses. “It isn’t safe
to have the Princess out here like this. We shall take a horse,
Aenna shall ride with me, and four of you shall escort us in all
haste to the cottage. Two of you may remain with the coachman, and
together you shall fix the axle and come behind us when you are
able. The scoring could be sabotage, and I have no intention of
standing around to find out if that’s the case.”

The men reacted in
alarm at the suggestion of sabotage. They quickly surveyed the
scene and checked the saddles of the horses for similar scoring.
None was found. The coachman said he couldn’t be sure if it was
deliberate scoring or not because of how the wood had broken.

“Well we shall not wait
to find out,” said Kurit in an authoritative tone. “Come, Aenna,
let’s be off.”

Kurit helped me up to
one of the horses and mounted beside me as he had in Mikilrun,
though obviously with less enthusiasm. Within moments, we were
galloping along the dark landscape surrounded by the guards on each
side.

“Kurit, you don’t
honestly imagine that my silly notion could be true?” I asked over
the noise of the horses.

“I can’t imagine that
Mother would go so far, no. But I wasn’t about to stand around to
see if I was right.”

“I didn’t suggest her,”
I said.

“You don’t have to,
which is the depressing part of it. I’m just glad she didn’t do
anything nasty to ruin the wedding.”

It was my misfortune
that he chose that moment to glance at my face. Though it was only
the light of the half-moon overhead that showed it, he saw by my
expression that he had misspoken. Under his breath, such that I
could barely hear it with the noise of the wind and horses, he
muttered several unrepeatable phrases.

“What did she do?” he
demanded to know. I summarized the unpleasant encounter for him. He
clenched his jaw, saying nothing.

“But, Kurit, it didn’t
spoil the wedding for me. Your father visited me shortly thereafter
and said the kindest, most inspirational things.” I recounted that
for him as well, and finally his face relaxed, though he was still
clearly perturbed.

Neither of us spoke for
the next half hour. I kept my arms wrapped about him, feeling how
tense he was, regretting very much having told him anything about
his mother. In time, we crested a hill and saw lights peeking out
amongst the trees that surrounded a building in the distance.

“There it is, Aenna,”
Kurit said. I felt him breathe a sigh of relief and relax
somewhat.

We stopped just short
of the front porch of the beautiful royal summer home. They called
it a cottage, but it was larger and sturdier than most farmhouses.
I longed for daylight that I might better see it.

The guards quickly
dismounted and helped me to do so as well. As Kurit did the same
after me, a middle-aged woman came out of the cottage with Leiset
and Gilrin close behind.

“Where’s the coach?”
Leiset asked in alarm when she saw us standing beside the horse.
She rushed to me in concern.

“We’ll explain later,
Leiset,” Kurit insisted. “Come, the guards shall take care of the
horses. Let’s go inside quickly.” He put a protective arm around my
shoulders and hurried me into the warmth and light of the
cottage.

Everything inside was
constructed with a rich, warm wood that gave off a homey scent. I
could also detect the lingering odour of what smelled like a roast
chicken dinner from a few hours before. Several lamps were lit to
make the rooms bright, especially the parlour, where Kurit guided
me to sit and rest.

Leiset and the others
followed us in. Leiset was in a terrible fret, so I said, “The axle
of the coach broke.” She rushed to me and asked if we were hurt,
and she calmed herself only after repeated assurances that we were
not.

“Could it not be
repaired?” asked the other woman.

“
The coachman
felt that he could fix it well enough to continue,” Kurit said,
“but it was not safe for Aenna to be kept out in the night.
I expect the coach will arrive very late, possibly close to
dawn
. Oh, Aenna, this is
Pirine. She and her husband Mikel are the caretakers.”

Pirine curtsied
politely, and I mustered a tired smile for her.

“Shall I fetch you some
tea?” she offered. Kurit and I both nodded.

“I shall draw your bath
if you wish it,” Leiset said quietly to me.

“Soon,” I replied. “I
need the tea first.”

“Could you all leave
Aenna and me alone for a moment, please?” Kurit asked, and everyone
complied. He sat with me on a great, soft couch and took my hand.
“Aenna, I’m sorry if this has ruined your evening. If you are tired
and wish to postpone things until tomorrow night, I shall certainly
understand.”

“I’ll be fine once I
have some tea and a bath,” I said, smiling at him.

He nodded and kissed my
forehead. “But if you should decide at any point that tonight’s
events have tired you or made you feel at all uncomfortable, it’s
very important to me that you feel that you can be honest and tell
me you just wish to sleep.”

We had some wonderfully
warm and soothing tea in the parlour, after which I went up with
Leiset to the bedchamber attached to the master room. She had my
bath ready, and I was delighted to sink slowly into it. It was
soothing, and on any other night I would have gone straight to
sleep afterwards, but thoughts of Kurit tantalized my mind. I
became greatly aroused in the hot water and quickly finished.
Knowing that he would not expect anything of me made me more
desirous of him, for it put me in a position of decision and
control that I discovered I rather enjoyed.

Having carefully hung
my wedding gown away, Leiset brought out a nightdress that was
clearly not designed for sleeping. Instead of sleeves, it had only
a thin cord to go over each shoulder. It was a sheer, thin material
of white with tiny blue flowers embroidered down the sides. I dried
myself quickly, braided my hair, and slipped the garment on.

“Aenna, you’ll corrupt
that man,” Leiset said in bawdy praise.

“Oh, it’s far too late
for that,” I mused quietly, looking at myself in the mirror. Kurit
would indeed go mad for it. The neckline was so low that most of
the upper portions of my breasts showed. I felt deliciously
naughty.

“Remember, Aenna, just
because you’re married doesn’t mean you can’t behave as a
lady.”

“What if I don’t want
to?” I said, grinning mischievously. Her jaw dropped, and before
she could scold me for my brashness, I tapped on the door to the
master bedchamber. I heard Kurit beckon me to come in, so I gave
Leiset a naughty wink and went through the door.

My boldness came to an
abrupt halt as I closed the door behind me and saw what Kurit had
done to the bedchamber. Candles, a thousand candles it seemed, had
been placed on every available surface but the bed itself.

“Did you do all of
this?” I asked breathlessly.

He nodded as he
sauntered towards me. He wore a simple pair of dark cotton trousers
and an unlaced shirt. “Why do you think I insisted that you take
the time for a nice long bath?” He touched his index fingers to my
bare shoulders and slowly traced lines down my arms, his gaze
following to look me over hungrily.

“Do you like the gown?”
I managed to ask as my heart thundered in my chest.

“Mm-hmm,” he murmured.
“It’s beautiful. I don’t want to have to look at it any more.” He
wrapped his hands around my arms and pulled me to him, kissing me.
I put my arms around him, clasping my hands behind his neck as we
kissed.

His lips wandered from
mine, kissing my cheeks, my closed eyes, my forehead. He held my
head in his hands as he covered it with tender kisses, and every
time he returned to my lips he swept them lightly with the tip of
his tongue, making me gasp in rapture.

I felt his hands caress
their way down my throat, teasing my flesh with gentle swirls of
his adept fingers. His hands danced lightly across my shoulders as
he pushed his mouth against mine.

I tipped my head back
to expose my neck, where he quickly moved his lips and nibbled
softly, delighting me, making my legs feel wonderfully weak. He
grasped the thin straps of my gown and pulled them to the sides,
down my arms, running his outstretched thumbs over my stiffened
nipples along the way. He stopped kissing me for a moment to pull
back enough for a look. His eyes closed and he breathed deeply. “My
Aenna,” he moaned, letting go of the gown as it sat about my hips.
His hands found my breasts. I shuddered with desire at his touch,
and he opened his eyes quickly to look at me.

I smiled at him,
blushing slightly at my delighted shudder. Seeing that I was not
upset in the least, he continued to kiss me as he caressed my
breasts, cupping one in one hand while twirling his fingers around
the nipple of the other. When I made a soft cry of arousal, he slid
his hands down my sides to my hips. Slowly, he pushed the gown over
the swell of my hips, letting the pretty thing fall to the floor.
He left his hands on my hips, running his fingers along their
curves as I pushed my hands into his open shirt and wrapped my arms
around him.

“Pull it off,” he
whispered as he kissed up my neck and flicked his tongue on my ear
lobe. I did so, tugging it out of his trousers and pushing it away
from his shoulders. He let go of my hips for just long enough to
let the shirt fall away from his arms.

I let my fingers dance
up and down his bare back as he did the same again on my hips.
Soon, he scooped me up in his arms and carried me to the bed,
laying me gently upon it as I looked into his wonderful eyes. I
prayed that he would not speak, not even to ask me if I wanted to
continue or to say that he loved me. I wanted to continue, I knew
he loved me, and I didn’t want any words to bind the dream to
reality. This was my every sensual fantasy come true, and I wanted
to live it, unspoiled by anything.

Kurit kissed me again,
running a finger in circles under my chin, down between my breasts,
stopping just below my navel. He stepped out of his trousers and
lay beside me, pressing himself against my leg as he kissed me,
caressed me, made me moan in delight.

He slowly moved himself
onto me, between my legs. Then he moved forward and was inside me,
and I bit my lip to not make a noise at the sharp pain of it. He
moved in me, kissing my neck, but I was too uncomfortable to take
delight in it. Then, just as the discomfort faded and I began to
sense a growing pleasure, he grunted, shuddered, and stopped.

I didn’t know what to
do or say. I wasn’t even sure what had happened, or if I had missed
something. He rolled to the side, clapped his hands over his face,
and groaned. After a moment during which I had remained very still
and very confused, he muttered an apology.