Sorrows of Adoration (48 page)

Those last words hurt
me, though I know Jarik didn’t intend to do so. The thought that I
had to be protected from the presence of my own husband was
depressing. Jarik saw my face fall and realized immediately
why.

“Oh, Aenna, I’m sorry.
I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I know.” I could tell
he wanted to embrace me in comfort, but we were standing in the
Great Hall, and he was loathe to appear unseemly. I sighed and
regained my composure. “It isn’t your fault, so don’t be
apologetic. You’re very sweet to try and protect me from anything
that hurts, physically or otherwise.” I managed a smile and said,
“Fine, then. You obviously have your reasons for wanting me kept
away. I know you well enough to know you’d tell me why if you could
or if there was a problem or a threat.”

“Of course I’d tell you
if there was a danger. It’s much easier to protect someone if they
understand the potential threats. I’m asking you to stay in the
palace for a few days for a reason I cannot disclose. I was hoping
you’d take my suggestion of relaxation without question, though I
suppose I knew you wouldn’t. You’re too intelligent and inquisitive
for your own good, sometimes. You have to learn to let some things
just be.”

He bade me take his arm
formally. “Come, then,” he said, trying to lighten my mood. “Let’s
go fetch your delightful boy, and we shall watch him run about the
gardens.”

I went with him. I
managed to have a pleasant day, though I was plagued by curiosity
as to what was being hidden from me. I could not imagine what
reasons there were for me to be kept away except for unpleasant
ones, but I trusted Jarik when he said there was no problem.

Several days went by,
and I remained in the palace. I spent time talking with Leiset in
my chambers. I had not realized how concerned she had been for me.
She confessed that she frequently checked on me as I slept, worried
that I was being overworked and fretting too much about Kurit. I
teased her that she was mothering me, but the truth of it was her
concerns were valid, and she knew it.

I saw Kurit only at
dinners, during which we did not speak beyond simple pleasantries.
I longed to return to excuses for missing the meal gatherings, for
when I was working I often returned to the palace too late for
them. It was awkward to have to sit next to him and not be able to
speak my mind. It was made all the worse by the way he glared at
Jarik jealously, as though he resented the fact that Jarik could
make me smile.

Finally, the day came
when Jarik said I could go back to the east end, though not until
the afternoon. He presented me with a formal invitation to witness
the official opening of the new Endren peasants’ market.

“What in the name of
the Temple is this all about?” I asked.

He smiled and said
cryptically, “You shall see very soon, Aenna.”

Kurit found us not five
minutes later in my workroom, bearing a similar invitation in his
hand.

“What is this nonsense,
Aenna?” he asked. “I don’t recall printer’s fees as being part of
your budget.”

“I don’t know myself
what it’s all about,” I replied in honesty.

“The printing house of
Grashen and Sons donated the invitations in hopes of having their
name prominently seen,” Jarik said. “Every noble in Endren is to
receive one.”

“Whatever for?” I
asked.

“It was Druin’s idea.
He wishes to make an enormous spectacle of the new market to
attract people right away.”

“Why did I not know of
this?” I asked, surprised so much had occurred without my
knowledge.

“A fascinating
question, Aenna,” Kurit muttered. He was in a foul mood, and I
sensed a fight was brewing before me. “You are supposed to have
some degree of authority over these people. Now they’re running
about planning parties you’re unaware of? That’s hardly responsible
management on your part.”

“Kurit!” Jarik shouted.
The fury in his voice and in his eyes was such that Kurit stepped
back from the big man. “I want to speak to you in your workroom.
Now,” snarled Jarik. I had never heard him address Kurit in such a
tone, and it frightened me.

Kurit looked indignant
for a moment, and I thought he would refuse. My heart beat rapidly
in worry that Jarik would lose control of his anger and injure my
husband. But thankfully Kurit had the sense to realize Jarik was
not to be trifled with at that moment. They excused themselves to
Kurit’s workroom and closed the door behind them.

Breathlessly, I stood
still, my hand braced on the back of a chair. I listened intently
for the sounds of violence but heard nothing. They were gone only a
few minutes, but it felt like hours.

They returned, Kurit
entering first with an embarrassed look on his face. “I’m sorry,
Aenna. I seem to have fallen into a habit of being rather rude to
you. Forgive me,” he said.

I closed my eyes,
sighed, and nodded once. Then I heard a small noise and opened my
eyes to see that Jarik had shoved Kurit towards me.

Kurit cast a quick
glare back at Jarik, who returned only a look of stone. My husband
turned his gaze back to me. “Um, since we’re both invited to
whatever is going on out there, well, we thought—I mean, I thought
maybe, if you wish it, I could escort you there. If you want to,
well, go together, that is.”

It was obvious that
Jarik had put him up to this. It was obvious that Kurit was
uncomfortable with the idea of going to the opening. It was even
obvious that he was struggling with the idea of spending time with
me. But to be perfectly honest, I didn’t care. I put aside all
those things and clung to the fact that he had offered to escort me
somewhere. I could not help but smile at him.

“I can think of nothing
that would please me more,” I said to Kurit. And for a moment—a
very brief flash in time—I saw a hint of happiness on his face at
my acceptance.

Then his usual, pained
look returned, but nonetheless he said, “I would be honoured, then.
I shall come to fetch you when it’s time to go.” He left my
workroom.

I smiled at Jarik,
which made him smile in return. “Good, then,” he said. “Hopefully
I’ve finally gotten through to him.”

“What did you say in
there? You didn’t hurt him, did you?”

“Not physically, no.
Though it was tempting,” he grumbled.

“Don’t, Jarik. It was
all very amusing and silly when you used to tease each other and
you’d play rough with him, but, please, don’t ever lose your temper
and actually hit him.”

Jarik sat down
with a sigh. “I don’t want to. He is my cousin, after all. Not to
mention my King. But, Aenna, there are times when he’s cruel to you
and I just want to
 
…” He didn’t finish, but his clenched fists and set jaw
made the end of the sentence fairly clear.

I stood beside him and
took one of his fists in my hands, tugging softly at his fingers
until his hand relaxed. “Don’t do it. You would not be helping me.
It would bother me a great deal. Don’t ever make me have to protect
my husband from my dearest friend.”

He squeezed my hand and
said, “Your husband should be your dearest friend.”

“Well, then let’s hope
whatever you said did get through to him, and we’ll have a splendid
afternoon.”

A few hours later,
Kurit came to my chambers to escort me to the event. His eyes were
sad but clearer than usual. I suspected he had forced himself to
remain sober since Jarik’s chat with him. When I took his arm, he
leaned and kissed my cheek. My resulting smile must have looked
ridiculous, like a giddy adolescent girl. It remained on my face
the entire time it took to walk to the new marketplace.

The smile faded into a
look of bewilderment when we arrived. In the centre of the open
area of the marketplace stood some tall structure, about twice
Jarik’s height. It was covered in a dark cloth, and I had no idea
what it was.

I noticed others
staring at it as well. A great many wealthy lords and ladies were
present. They remained as far back from everything as they could,
surrounded by their private guards, but more than a few seemed
pleasantly curious.

When our arrival was
noticed, a cry rang out to hail the King and Queen. Every man bowed
and every woman curtsied. To this day, I hate it when they do that.
It always makes me blush.

Druin proudly stepped
into the centre of attention, near the mysterious cloth-draped
object. He bowed charmingly to Kurit and me, glancing at me with a
roguish grin the way Kurit once did. I could not help but return
the smile.

“Your Majesties, good
Lords and Ladies, and all else who gather here,” he began. “I am
deeply honoured to welcome you to the new Endren peasants’ market.
Every care and concern has been taken to design this area …”
Druin went on about the many well-planned features of the new east
end. I wanted to listen, but I could not keep my mind adhered to
his words. All I could think about was that my arm was in Kurit’s.
I could feel the muscles of his arm against mine. I could feel the
warmth of his skin under his shirt. I could feel his chest expand
and contract as he breathed. I was aware of his every movement, his
scent, and his heartbeat.

In my mind, I saw him
being so proud of what I had helped to accomplish that he would
kiss me passionately right there in front of everyone. When I
should have been listening to Druin, I instead was fantasizing
about Kurit’s lips on mine, his arms around me in love and pride.
Then I imagined him joyfully taking me home and leading me to his
chambers, where he would slowly undress me and himself and then
make love with me, over and over again, a thousand times to make up
for everything that had gone wrong since I was abducted.

I stole a glance at my
beloved husband. He was watching Druin, obviously listening to what
was being said. His face showed no emotion. I watched him for a few
more seconds, hoping he would realize I was looking at him and
favour me with a loving smile. I wanted so badly to see him smile.
I wanted so badly to be naked and under him in his bed.

I heard Druin say my
name and quickly returned my attention to him in case I was being
asked to speak. I prayed that I was not blushing noticeably from my
daydream.

“Her Majesty’s
benevolent vision has become our reality,” Druin said. He was
looking at me sincerely. “Good Queen Aenna, none of this ever would
have occurred without you. You believed in us, and every man,
woman, and child who lives or works in what you have built for us
will know that. Your faith in us shall serve to inspire us to work
diligently to make you proud. You have given us hope by virtue of
your own struggles, your own path to greatness, and your enduring
goodness. You have given us a chance to better ourselves. For this,
we, your loyal subjects, dedicate this marketplace in your honoured
name.”

Druin and another man
grabbed two pull-cords on the great cloth. When they yanked on the
cords, the material split down the middle and fell, revealing a
large white statue of a woman holding a child in one arm, the other
arm stretched out in delighted welcome.

It was a statue of me,
and the child in my arms was my son.

I stood still,
absolutely stunned and speechless. Around me there erupted a great
clamour of noise—applause, happy shouts, whistles, and even the
gathered nobles spoke in pleased tones amongst themselves. I just
stared at it, mouth agape like a fool. It was a few moments before
I realized there was writing on the statue’s base. It read:

Good Queen Aenna

Who had faith in every
Keshaerlan

Who gave of herself
that we all may prosper

“By the Gods
themselves,” I whispered in awe.

“Apparently you’ve
almost become a Goddess yourself,” Kurit said, having heard my
whisper. “I wonder if these people even have the faintest idea who
I am.” He moved his arm out of mine.

I was about to ask
Kurit if he meant to sound as ridiculously envious as he did when
Druin came to my side. I forgot about Kurit’s words for the moment
and said to Druin, “What is this? This is not right. I’m flattered,
but really, Druin, I—”

“Your Majesty, this is
our tribute to you for all that you have done for us.”

“But I hardly did a
thing, compared to most of you! I lifted no stone, I designed no
buildings. It was the people’s work that brought them their new
homes. It is important to me that this be recognized.”

Druin smiled
handsomely. “Majesty, forgive my bluntness but you are too modest.
None of this would have been without you. It was your vision. It
was you who found the funding, paid for the materials, and
originated the very idea of it all. But beyond that, it was your
insistence that things could be better that inspired us to work for
ourselves.”

I shook my head at him
but could not find the words to express how strange I felt, seeing
myself immortalized in stone with a reverent inscription beneath. I
approached the statue and looked up at it. It was a good likeness.
Even Raelik’s happy little cheeks seemed almost alive, though they
were made of colourless stone. The pose was clearly taken from the
day I had spun around like a silly girl in the great empty room
that had just been finished. One of those that had been present
must have described the scene to the sculptors.

I put my hands to my
face and felt tears on my cheeks. I was so moved at this incredible
tribute that I had begun to quietly weep and had not even
noticed.

“I told you that your
name would be remembered in history for this,” said Jarik, standing
close beside me.

“This is why you kept
me in the palace.”

He nodded. “I know very
well that, had you found out about this, you would have gone to
great lengths to stop it. You’re far too self-deprecating and
absurdly modest to have let such a thing be established.”