Sorting Out Sid (30 page)

‘I know that.’ Neha frowned. ‘But if you hate the job … does being a VP really matter?’

Sid thought hard for a few moments. His voice rang with conviction as he concluded, ‘Yes!’

Neha laughed softly, and this time it was her turn to not push the point. Sid took another sip of beer, adjusted his arm more comfortably around her shoulders and asked, ‘So give me some much-required gyaan now. What’s it really like being divorced?’

‘Hmmm?’ Neha sounded sleepy, but also a bit bewildered by the sudden turn in the conversation.

‘My divorce is going to come through soon,’ Sid explained, ‘and I’m wondering if I’m going to feel any different when she actually leaves.’ Sid realized he found it difficult to say Mandira’s name these days, especially in Neha’s presence.

‘I don’t know. Kapil and I haven’t lived together for so long now and I’ve enjoyed being on my own, but now he’s being a pain again. I’ve got full custody of Kippy and the court ruled that the father’s visitation was to be left to my discretion. He never asked before, but he suddenly emerged last week, texting to say he wants to see Kippy. Hah! He’s still based in Bangalore, so he’ll just be flitting in and out of her life. That would be much worse than a clean break.’

She sighed and Sid realized she had never opened up to him with so much about this topic before.

‘Anyway, it was so bitter between us at the end that I really don’t want to have to see him myself.’

She shifted to look up at Sid. ‘But I’m guessing it will be slightly cleaner for you since you guys didn’t have kids.’

‘Yeah.’ Clean wasn’t the word he would have used, but maybe she was right. At least, Mandira and he had no kid complication. ‘Well, I just hope she manages well on her own.’ Sid was thoughtful and then admitted, ‘We had some good times. Well … a few good times
–
we weren’t meant to be, I guess. No one’s fault, really.’

After a few moments, Neha remarked, ‘That’s nice. I mean, you don’t sound bitter at all.’

Sid hesitated. He had not discussed with her the details of his break-up. No one knew about the affair
–
should he tell Neha? He felt so close to her and they had been discovering so much about each other over these last few weeks. But he decided against talking to her about the gory details. This was between Mandira and him. Or at least, between Mandira, him and Vikas. Whatever! Not worth it. He dismissed the thought.

Instead, Sid said, ‘I really did want her to be happy. I mean, I do … took me too long to realize it couldn’t be with me.’

Neha’s voice was quiet and she murmured with a note of finality, ‘No one can make anyone else happy, anyway.’

Sid nuzzled her head with his chin. ‘Is that bitter?’

‘No. It’s a fact.’

He pulled her around to face him and looked into her eyes. ‘Is that a challenge?’

She just smiled and closed her eyes, waiting.

‘No one calls me Siddharth. You know that? No one. Not even my mom.’

As soon as the words were out, Sid wished he could rewind and erase them. Why on earth had he just brought up the topic of his mother while in bed with a woman?

‘Is that so?’ said Neha in a dreamy voice.

Sid lay on his back, looking up at the ceiling with Neha curled up against him, her arm and one leg around him. They had now been talking for the last thirty minutes. There had been a comfortable lull which Sid had just broken by blurting out the mention of his mother.

Sid nodded to confirm this. Too late, he realized that someone did call him Siddharth
–
She Who Must Not Be Named
–
when she was mad at him. But there was no way he was bringing
her
up right now. Neha waited a while and then said, ‘Are you going to tell me what your point is?’

‘Arrey!’ Sid shifted, turning to face Neha. Her skin was smooth and he thought her face looked even more beautiful up close. ‘You kept calling me Siddharth throughout … the first time…’

‘Did I? Oh. Maybe I did. Did you find it weird or something?’

‘No, no,’ he said quickly. ‘It was … really nice.’

‘Siddharth is a very nice name.’ Neha put her cheek against his shoulder again. ‘It’s so … so regal … And historic … And somehow … powerful…’

‘So is Neha,’ Sid said politely.

There was a moment of silence.

‘Shut up.’ She giggled. ‘That was very insincere flattery, and not required. You’ve already got me into bed, remember?’

‘If this isn’t a dream and I sincerely hope it isn’t,’ he muttered, putting his arm around her, ‘I am unlikely to forget it.’

Despite being the good-looking college clown, Sid had been with very few women so far in his life. And with none of them had it been anything like it was with Neha. The first time with her had blown him away. Of course, considering how long it had been since he had last made love to a woman, there had been a sense of relief that he hadn’t forgotten how to do it. It was, he supposed, one of those things that you never really forgot how to do
–
like riding a bicycle. Except that riding a bicycle never made him feel like that. Neha had been pleasantly surprised by his firm, lean build. He was thankful that the excess pizzas and beer and the lack of exercise in the recent years hadn’t really damaged his physique. And to him, she was incredibly beautiful. They had both been a little self-conscious at first, but had relaxed after a while and then had gone with the flow. It had been a beautiful, slow session despite his hunger for her. And even though the love-making seemed to get better and better every time, each detail of that first time was etched in his memory.

She was now lazily tracing his Black Panther tattoo with her finger. ‘I really like this. It’s so intricate. It makes me want to get one too.’

‘You should, you should. Everyone should have a tattoo.’

‘Am just a little worried about the pain. Where did you get this done?’

‘While on a holiday in Bali, years ago.’

‘Really?’ said Neha in surprise. ‘So did Aditi. Wait … did you guys get your tattoos together?’

‘Yes,’ said Sid reluctantly. First it was his mom and now Aditi. He didn’t really want to discuss her. Particularly considering how oddly she had behaved the last time they all met at Neha’s housewarming. She had been so quiet through the evening and then had suddenly become all animated towards the end. It seemed she just did not want to leave though the rest of them were ready to drop with exhaustion. Krish had to practically carry her out of the door and even then she was saying, ‘We can come back with the Tabboo set if you guys want … we can do a Tabboo tournament…’ Sid had firmly shut the door behind her.

‘So, of course, I’m a very manly man and all that but if Aditi could stand getting that butterfly done on her lower back, you will totally be able to take the pain.’

Neha was grinning about his ‘manly man’ comment and then she kissed his tattoo, lingering on it for a long moment. He went completely still and stopped breathing, feeling his body react in all sorts of ways to the touch of her lips. He closed his eyes to enjoy the moment.

‘So,’ she continued, ‘you two have been good friends for a long time, right?’

Moment gone.

Sid opened his eyes and sighed. ‘We’ve known each other for … ever! She’s my only friend from school. I guess she knows me better than anyone else.’ He sensed that Neha was going to ask him something else and so he added in a hurried manner, ‘But you still have to tell me more about yourself. Like, for example, who gave you that boring name Neha?’

‘Very funny,’ Neha murmured. ‘My mom, who else?’

Okayyyy, thought Sid. So far they had discussed his mother, Aditi and now they were on her mother. At this rate, might as well go ahead and have a little chat about Mandira too. Talk about inappropriate after-sex talk.

Neha stretched lazily. The action made the sheet slide down revealing her naked body right down to her navel. She was voluptuous yet firm and she smiled when she saw Sid’s expression as he stared unabashedly.

All thoughts of nosy best friends and ex-wives and sundry mothers quickly went out of the window for the next hour or so.

4

In the Park

‘G
ood catch, Kippy!’

Neha was as surprised as she was delighted
–
when had Kippy learned to catch a ball like that? Neha sat on a bench in the park, watching Kippy toddle around after the older kids. This was a rare treat, she realized, having the time to take Kippy to the park herself. Usually by the time Neha managed to pick her up from day-care it was almost dinner time. The routine was hectic and tiring, but Julie made it manageable. Neha thanked her lucky stars for Julie. Not only was Julie efficient, she also seemed genuinely fond of Kippy, which was so important. Kippy too had become very attached to Julie. But then, Neha observed a pattern with Kippy, she exhibited a tendency to get attached to people rather quickly. And that included Sid.

Neha’s mind wandered even as her eyes followed her daughter. It was funny how Sid had suddenly come and fit right into their lives. Neha hadn’t thought she would be getting involved with anyone in a hurry, after that disaster that her marriage had turned out to be. But she did like being with Sid.

Then the thought struck her
–
was she giving Kippy less attention these days than before? Sid liked exploring new places to hang out and they didn’t always take Kippy along now that Julie was around in the evenings. But Neha told herself that they made it up to Kippy by spending so many other days with her at home.

Kippy certainly loved it when Sid was at home. He clowned around, alternating between ‘manly’ things like teaching Kippy to play ball, and then trying to get her to play correctly with that silly doll he had brought her. Neha smiled. She loved the fact that there was so much laughter at home these days. The place had become loud, noisy, bubbly and fun
–
just what she had always wanted for Kippy.

She admired Sid for how he seemed to sincerely wish the best for his wife. He never spoke ill of her although Aditi had told her about the ill treatment his wife had meted out to him over the years. But then again, that was Aditi’s perception and as much as Neha was fond of Aditi, she knew that her friend tended to be rather quick to judge. The important thing was that Sid wasn’t bitter, and it was making Neha rethink the way she was dealing with her own ex-husband.

Was it right on her part to prevent Kippy from knowing her father? Neha just wanted to protect her daughter from the possibility of pain. Her biggest fear was that Kippy would get too attached to Kapil who would then just disappear from her life. Neha had been disgusted by the lack of his interest in Kippy so far. Kapil had made no real attempt to get custody of Kippy. But what if he had now realized that he did want to play a role in Kippy’s life? Neha didn’t trust him enough to believe this, but for the first time she was at least considering the possibility that his stated desire to see
Kippy was genuine. And not just yet another attempt to make her life difficult.

Neha realized that her mood was taking a downward swing as she thought about Kapil. Over the last couple of years, they had experienced a total breakdown in communication. It seemed as though every single statement made by one of them was misinterpreted by the other. This had led to so much strain that eventually they decided to communicate only over SMS and that too only if most necessary
–
for example, when they had to coordinate on court dates or the divorce paperwork.

Thankfully, Kapil wasn’t the type to write long-winded emotional text messages and neither was she. Brusque and business-like exchanges were all they managed. And even those had stopped, until he resurfaced recently.

Was she crazy to be considering letting him back in their lives in any capacity? Neha had always intended to completely block him out once the divorce came through. But was that really what was best for Kippy? Neha closed her eyes and took a moment to centre herself. This could wait. Here she was, after ages, in the park with Kippy and she was wasting this precious time getting tense. She took a deep breath … Ah, the fresh, dewy smell of grass!