Sought...Book 3 in the Brides of the Kindred series (22 page)

“It can’t be sexual—not without Lock. And I
don’t want it to be,” Deep said softly. “Don’t want you to think
that’s all there is—to think that’s all I want from you.”

“What
do
you want?” Kat looked up at
him, honestly confused.

“Right now? Just to hold you.” He kissed her
gently on the forehead.

“But the pain—”

“Believe me, little Kat, the pain of
not
holding you is much worse than any discomfort I get from
a little skin-to-skin contact.” Deep stroked her back. “Do you
believe me?”

“Yes.” She nodded slowly. “I don’t
understand but…I do believe you.”

“Thank you. Now relax and be still.”

They sat in silence for a long while—how
long, Kat didn’t know. There seemed to be no time in the dark, cool
cave. Just the sound of their breathing and the faint thunder of
Deep’s heart in her ear. She could smell his mating scent—the warm,
dark chocolate sex smell which had made her feel so threatened
before. But it didn’t scare her now. She breathed it in gratefully,
glad for its soothing effect on her nerves.
Safe,
it seemed
to whisper deep in the primitive part of her brain.
As long as
you’re in his arms you’re safe. This male will kill or die to
protect you. Safe.

Kat relaxed and though she never would have
believed it possible, she felt strangely content. She didn’t feel
anger or hurt or irritation coming from Deep, either. He seemed to
somehow be perfectly at peace—as though something had calmed the
roiling storm of negative emotions that seemed to constantly fill
him. Something or
someone.
Could it be her? Was
she
the reason he was calmer now, at peace? But how could that be
right? Could it be that Deep cared for her…even loved her the way
she knew Lock did?

The thought was so wholly foreign that Kat
pushed it away at first.
Why would he feel that way about me? He
can’t stand me—we get on each other’s nerves.
But then why had
he taken her pain? Why was he, even now, allowing himself to be
hurt for her sake? Could it be more than his Kindred sense of duty
toward a female he had sworn to protect?

Experimentally, Kat shifted in his arms.
Leaning even closer, she put her right arm around his waist and
rested it lightly on his broad back. Deep stiffened at first but he
didn’t tell her to stop, even when she traced one of the raised,
ridged scars with a careful finger.

“Tell me about these,” she said softly,
looking up at him. “Please?”

He shifted uncomfortably. “What do you want
to know?”

“How you got them.
Why
you got
them.”

“I told you—”

“And tell me the
truth,”
she said,
before he could finish the lie. “I already know it—I just want to
hear it from you.”

“If you already know, why do you want me to
say it?” he demanded. “How did you find out, anyway? Did Mother
L’rin tell you?”

“More like she reminded me of it. I…I saw it
in a dream,” Kat confessed, not sure how he would take it. “I think
it was while I was unconscious—when you two first brought me to the
Healing Gardens.”

“So…you were dream sharing with us? With
me?”
Deep sounded shocked.

“I guess so.” Kat looked up at him. “Does
that upset you?”

“It surprises me.” He peered down at her. “I
guess I thought there could never be that kind of connection
between us.”

“Why?” asked Kat, honestly curious. “I mean,
why not? After the connection we shared during the joinings we did,
it doesn’t seem so strange.”

“One doesn’t necessarily equate with the
other. Just because we—”

“Deep,” she interrupted softly. “We’re
getting off the subject. Why did you take my pain?”

“Someone had to.” His voice was rough and
low and he wouldn’t look at her. “Mother L’rin said you’d die
otherwise. I…couldn’t let that happen.”

“Why not? Because you and Lock had been
charged with my safety?”

“If you like. It’s as good a reason as any
other.”

“No, it’s not.” Kat sat up in his lap and
frowned at him. “I need to know the
real
reason.”

He raised an eyebrow at her. “Why? Why do
you care?”

“Because I need to know how you feel about
me—all right?” Kat pushed away from him and stood there trembling,
her hands on her hips.

“How can you not know?” His voice was hoarse
and he sat there unmoving before her, his hands on his thighs. “We
share emotions, remember? We feel each others feelings
constantly.”

“But all I ever
feel
from you are
negative emotions—anger, pain, sorrow, irritation…” Kat shook her
head. “Lock tried to convince me that you cared about me, but you
weren’t admitting it to yourself. Except, I don’t know if I can buy
that. How can you not let yourself feel if you care for
someone?”

Deep scowled and looked away. “Feeling too
much can be a dangerous thing, little Kat. Especially if you know
the other person doesn’t feel for you as well.”

“You have to give the other person a
chance
to feel.” Kat couldn’t believe she was having this
conversation with him, but somehow the words kept coming out. “You
have to let them
believe
you could ever be interested in
them.”

He gave a short, sharp laugh. “How could
anyone
not
be interested in you? You’re an elite with curves
like a goddess.”

“Which is exactly why plenty of the guys on
my planet
wouldn’t
be interested,” Kat said quietly. “I
don’t know how much you understand about Earth but most cultures
there—especially
my
culture—don’t go for full figured girls
in a big way. They want skinny women—the skinnier the better.”

“What?” Deep stared at her, obviously
startled. “So they
reject
you because of your curves instead
of revering you for them?”

Kat couldn’t help smiling. “I know—it’s
bizarre, isn’t it? I mean with a body like this, you’d think I’d
have the world at my feet.” She made a gesture at her full hips and
breasts.

Deep’s gaze flickered over her body
hungrily. “That’s
exactly
what I would think.”

She laughed. “I was being sarcastic.”

“I wasn’t,” he said softly.

“I can tell.” She looked at him seriously.
“Look, I’ve been plus-sized all my life. And barring some miracle
breakthrough in skinny drugs, it looks like I’m
always
going
to be a size eighteen instead of a size eight. But that’s okay, I’m
used to it. I’m just…not the kind of girl you and Lock would be
dating back on Earth. You’re big, muscular, good looking guys—you
could have your pick. And I guarantee it wouldn’t be me.”

“If you think either one of us would rather
be with some stick-thin bag of bones—”

Kat laughed again. “Hey now, no need to get
down on the skinny girls. They need love, too.”

“Not from me and my brother.” Deep looked at
her, a small frown on his face. “Kat, you’re beautiful—gorgeous. Is
that really so hard for you to believe?”

“Not as much as it was,” she said carefully.
“But then, I’ve always known you and Lock found me attractive. I
could, uh, feel it pretty clearly when I was between you.”

“You mean the way our bodies react to
yours,” he murmured. “Of course. How could we help it?”

Kat cleared her throat. “To be perfectly
honest, I wouldn’t kick you two out of bed for eating crackers
either. So the physical aspect isn’t an issue.”

Deep shook his head. “I don’t understand
your reference. Are you trying to say you find my brother and me
attractive?”

“Very much so.” Kat ducked her head, having
a hard time looking him in the eye. “But you already knew
that.”

“I knew that your body reacted to ours,” he
said softly. “But physical attraction doesn’t always equate with
compatibility.”

“Exactly.” Kat took a deep breath. “Which is
why I still don’t know why you took that beating for me. Did you do
it out of a sense of duty? Or just because you wanted me—felt lust
for me? Or was there another reason?” she said, before he could
answer. “A deeper reason?”

“Come here.” He reached for her and Kat went
willingly into his arms. He was so tall that, even though he was
still sitting and she was standing, they were pretty much
eye-to-eye. “You have to understand,” he said hoarsely. “You’re so
beautiful…so high above me. What good does it do a male to love a
goddess? I might as well love the sun or the stars or anything else
that’s forever out of reach.”

“I’m not completely out of reach,” she said
quietly. “I’m just
frightened
. Feeling your emotions all the
time—that’s pretty overwhelming. And you…you can be pretty scary
sometimes.” She lifted her chin. “Not that I’m afraid of you.”

He studied her for a long moment. “Maybe
I’m
afraid of
you
—did you think about that?”

“Why?” Kat frowned. “You’re a hundred times
stronger than me. You could probably break me in half with your
pinky finger.”

“It isn’t physical pain that frightens me,”
he said hoarsely. “That’s nothing. It’s—”

At that moment five or six of the
pink-skinned natives came into the cave, voices echoing in the
darkness with their strange language. Kat caught parts of several
different haikus, though none of them made much sense.

“Deep,” she said apprehensively.

“Stay behind me.” Deep dropped her hands and
stood protectively in front of her. He was so big she had to peer
around him to catch sight of their captors.

Suddenly a new voice rang in the cave. “It’s
all right. Deep—Kat—don’t worry.” Lock suddenly appeared behind the
armed natives. “It’s all right,” he said again. “They’re just
moving us to the guest hut.”

“The guest hut?” Deep sounded skeptical.
“Why are we going there?”

“I convinced the chief that we’re not going
to run away.” Lock reached them at last. Then he nodded and said
something to the natives who grunted back and began to lead the way
out of the cave.

“So are we stuck here?” Kat started to head
for the entrance but her foot slipped on a loose stone and she
nearly fell. “Whoa!”

“Be careful!” Deep caught her by the arm.
“Are you all right?” he asked frowning. “Still weak?”

“A little weak but I’m fine,” Kat assured
him.

“Perhaps I should assist you, just in case.”
Lock came up on her other side and took her hand.

“A good idea, Brother,” Deep said, letting
her go at once. “Be certain she doesn’t trip—the ground here is
treacherous.”

“Yes, it’s very dangerous.” Kat reached for
the dark twin and took him by the hand. She saw Deep’s startled
look as she entwined their fingers and she gave him a tentative
smile in return. “So dangerous that I need both of you to help
me.”

“If you’re certain…” Deep looked down at
their hands as though he couldn’t believe she was touching him when
she didn’t have to.

Kat could scarcely believe it herself. Now
that all three of them were touching skin-to-skin, she could feel
the familiar tingle of sexual electricity traveling through her
body. But strangely enough, she had no urge to pull away and end it
as she always had before. Instead she held both brothers’ hands
tightly and smiled at both of them as they exited the cave.

It wasn’t far from the rocky cave in the
hillside to a small village of grass huts, enclosed by a high wall
of sharpened green stakes. Their captors led them past the gates
and through the middle of the native town.

Kat tightened her grip on the twins’ hands
and tried not to notice how people were gawking at them. Apparently
having strangers in town was big news—especially if they were
aliens from another land. She saw family units, all with two males
and one female, and numerous pink children running around and
playing in the lush
belsh
that carpeted the ground. The
women stopped drawing water from the well and the children ceased
their chatter as Kat and her men walked past.
Well, I always did
want to be a show-stopper,
she thought wryly, smiling at one of
the many children who were staring gape-jawed at them.

At last they reached a circular grass hut
near the outskirts of town and their guards motioned for them to go
in.

“Thank you.” Kat ducked inside, grateful to
be out of the public eye. She wanted to explore the grass hut they
found themselves in but she was already tired again. “So what kind
of deal did you make with the chief?” she asked Lock, as she sat on
a straw-stuffed cushion covered in the same velvety
belsh
as
the ground. “God, I’m wiped.”

“Are you all right?” Deep, who had been
checking the hut, his eyes narrowed for possible threats, looked at
her with concern.

“Fine.” She waved a hand at him. “Still just
a little tired, that’s all.”

“You mean weak.” He came to sit beside her
and nodded at his brother. “Lock, come. Kat needs both of us
now.”

“With pleasure.” Lock settled himself on her
other side. “Is there a problem?”

“Kat’s weakness and pain will come back if
we don’t touch her enough,” Deep explained.

Lock looked worried. “Mother L’rin told me
that might happen but I had hoped she was wrong.”

Deep frowned. “When did she tell you
that?”

“When we first brought Kat to her. While you
were being—” Lock seemed to catch himself just in time. “When you
weren’t there.”

“It’s all right, Lock,” Kat said in a low
voice. “I know about what Deep did for me and he knows I know
it.”

“You do? Good.” Lock looked relieved. “I’m
glad not to have to hide it anymore.”

“I think the three of us should stop hiding
a lot of things from each other,” Kat said firmly. “For instance, I
notice that you still haven’t answered my question—what kind of
deal did you make with the chief?”