Soul Screamers Volume Four: With All My Soul\Fearless\Niederwald\Last Request: 4 (38 page)

“You don’t even have to ask....” He pulled far enough away that he could see me, and beneath unshed tears, his irises burst into a tight twist of colors that made my head spin and my heart ache.

We sat on the edge of his bed and he leaned in to kiss me, and I buried myself in the feel and taste of him. I pushed everything else from my mind as silent tears trailed down my cheeks and landed in my hair.

We took our time, lingering in touches and kisses that echoed in my heart and haunted my memory. When all our clothes were gone, and most of our time was gone, and my chest ached so badly I could hardly stand it, I pulled him close and whispered into his ear. “I need you to trust me, even after I’m gone. Even after you’ve forgotten all of this. Do you trust me, Tod?”

“With everything I have and everything I am. With all my soul.”

I lost control of a sob. Just one, and Tod kissed the tears from my cheeks.

“And would you wait for me, if it came to that?” I shouldn’t have said it, but he wouldn’t remember, and I
needed
to know.

I could handle whatever lay ahead if I had that one answer.

“Until the end of time. Love doesn’t expire, Kaylee. And love never, ever dies.”

With every last beat of my heart and every single bit of my own soul, I hoped that he was right.

* * *

Afterward, Tod and I lay side by side, breathing in sync, his arm wrapped around me while he fought sleep and the oblivion it would bring for him. I never wanted that moment to end, but it was doomed from the very beginning. That was a moment stolen from eternity, and those moments were never meant to last.

When I sat up, his arm retreated slowly, and he exhaled so heavily that I almost changed my mind. I almost took the coward’s way out. But then I remembered that in the end, the easy way would only be harder. For all of us.

I stood and pulled on my clothes, and I could feel him watching me. In the bathroom doorway, I turned to look at him, gripping the doorframe. “I love you.”

He sat up, wearing just his shorts, his feet peeking out beneath the sheet draped over the floor. “I...” He stopped, then started over. “Words don’t do it justice, Kaylee.” But that was okay, because I could see how he felt. He was showing me, in his eyes. In his soul.

“I know. Words were never enough, were they?”

“None of it was enough.” He stood, and a second later I was in his arms, and his hands were in my hair, and he was kissing me, and holding me, and trying to hold
on
to me, and I knew I should push him away. That I should make a clean break. But I needed to feel him. I needed to kiss him. One last time. “I will never, ever have enough of you, Kaylee.”

Then, slowly he let me go.

That time I didn’t look back, because I knew that if I did, I wouldn’t be able to leave. I closed the bathroom door behind me, and silent tears rolled down my cheeks as I pulled my shoes on. I put my hand flat on the closed door for a moment, wondering if he could feel it from the other side. Then I blinked out of Tod’s room and out of his life.

I materialized in my father’s empty bedroom and fell to my knees on the floor, crying uncontrollably. Sobbing so hard my whole body shook. Tears poured down my face. I clutched my chest, desperate to ease an ache unlike anything I’d ever felt. My sternum hurt like my heart had been ripped from my body, leaving behind an empty, gaping cavity.

I don’t know how long I stayed like that, hunched over on the floor, shaking and sniffling and broken in more ways than I’d known a person could be broken. I stayed there until I had no more tears to cry. Until I had no other choice but to stand up, and grow up, and give up the only thing that would finally put my friends and family out of evil’s reach.

My soul.

Nash and Sabine were curled up on Emma’s twin bed, fully clothed for once. Holding each other.

The living room was quiet, so I peeked in to find Sophie and Luca asleep on the couch, together, and Em passed out in the recliner. Then I went back into my dad’s room and closed the door. I sat on his bed and picked up the notepad on his nightstand, then dug through the drawer for a pen, my jaw clenched against any more tears.

The note to my father was the hardest. It took a long time. More time than I could afford. More time than
he
could afford.

The note to my friends wasn’t much easier, but the words were flowing by then.

The third note was the most important. The words were critical; they had to be just right.

When I was done, I folded the pages and wrote their names on the outside.

I left the first two notes on my dad’s nightstand where—with any luck—they wouldn’t be discovered until after Levi had played his part.

The third note, I folded and slid into my back pocket while I watched them sleep, the friends and family I’d put through hell just by virtue of their connection to me.

Then I closed my damp eyes and blinked out of their lives.

Chapter Twenty-Two

The school cafeteria was somehow even creepier than I’d remembered. Maybe because my errand was creepier this time. Or maybe because I was breaking a promise to people I loved. Or maybe because I knew that even if I got what I wanted out of this midnight errand, I wouldn’t
really
be getting what I wanted.

There was no way for me to win this game. I’d lost the moment I started playing.

In the massive, stainless-steel kitchen, I pulled a small knife from a now-familiar drawer, then sat cross-legged on the floor in a pool of moonlight shining through the window. I peeled the bandage from my left palm. Explaining another cut wouldn’t be a problem this time, so I sliced my skin open again. I gasped at the raw pain—still couldn’t get used to that—and a line of dark red blood welled parallel to the one scabbed over half an inch away.

This time, I let the blood pool in my cupped palm, and with the knife on the floor at my side, I dipped my right index finger into my own blood and wrote Ira’s name on the dingy linoleum tiles. Then I sucked in a deep breath and tried to purge my fear while preserving my anger, which Ira would want to taste.

I had no problem with the anger part. Letting go of my fear was much harder.

I stared at the three letters on the floor, glistening dark, dark red in the moonlight. And for a second, I thought about backing out. Then I closed my eyes and whispered Ira’s name into the night.

My eyes opened, and a second later the hellion appeared in front of me, mirroring my cross-legged pose, staring across his own name at me. “Ms. Cavanaugh.” On his tongue, my name sounded like the clash of swords, wielded in timeless fury.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” he continued while I struggled to focus through the anger emanating from him, settling into my bones. Into my hands that wanted to form fists. Or to pick up the knife.

“You owe this pleasure to Avari, but I’d rather reverse the charges so that
he
owes
you.
And I think I know how to make that happen.”

His dark brows rose. They were the color of my blood slowly drying on the floor and now dripping from between my fingers. “I’m intrigued....”

“So there’s no misunderstanding, I have a proposal. I’m here to make a deal.”

He nodded. “Of course you are. State your terms—first, what you need from me, then, how you’re willing to pay. But you should know that tonight you reek of fear and sadness, as much as anger, and while I can and will feed from both of those emotions, they do not command as high a price as your rage.”

“Acknowledged.” It scared me even more to realize that I was picking up the lingo. “But if you agree to my terms, there will be
plenty
of anger for you—and it won’t just be mine.”

Another arch of a single dark red brow. “Do continue.”

“My first demand—” I’d considered calling them requests, but because they were nonnegotiable, “demand” felt more accurate “—is that you deliver my uncle and Harmony Hudson to the human world without inflicting any further harm on them, and that you make no attempt to contact them or to reacquire them for the duration of our agreement.”

“You’re assuming I know where they are?”

“I am.” I nodded firmly and tried not to notice that blood was still pooling in my palm. “I’m further assuming that you have them in your possession. That maybe you’ve had them since shortly after Tod and I found bloody bandages in the Netherworld version of the local hospital.”

“Clever girl...” Ira smiled, clearly delighted, and I had to remind myself that his approval meant less than nothing to me. “How did you know?”

“I know from experience that Avari is powerful and his resources are vast. Yet he doesn’t have them. The only reason I can think of for him not to have found them is that you found them first.”

“Or they’re dead.” He watched closely for my reaction.

“If they were dead and Avari knew about it, he would have told me, just to feed from my suffering. You, however, understand that I suffer just as much—if not more—by not knowing where they are or what shape they’re in. And you’re not shortsighted enough to kill them before you’ve gotten all possible use out of them as living hostages. Right?”

Please, please let me be right....

“So far, so good,” he said, and again I was surprised by his vernacular speech. Was anger that much closer to the general heart of humanity than envy? I didn’t want to think about what that said about us as a species.

“My second demand—”

“Can you pay for a second demand?” Ira said. “I’m not sure you truly understand the debt your first request has already accrued.”

I might not know what he’d
want
as payment, but I knew what I was willing to give. And that was all that mattered.

“My second demand,” I continued, without acknowledging his warning, “is that for the duration of our arrangement, you will protect my friends and family.” He started to object, and the first spark of anger I’d seen from him flashed in his dark eyes.
“Specifically,”
I said, talking over him. “Specifically, all of my blood relatives, as well as Emma Marshall, in any body her soul inhabits, Sabine Campbell, Luca Tedesco, and Harmony, Nash, and Tod Hudson.” I couldn’t risk him deciding on his own that any one of them wasn’t a close enough friend to warrant protecting.

“You want me to protect them? You do understand that you’re dealing with a hellion, right? Not a guardian angel.”

“Don’t worry. I’m willing to pay.”

His eyes flashed again. “Child, it would take
years
of you existing in a constant state of homicidal fury to pay off a debt like that.”

“I know.” But I wouldn’t be the only one paying.

“Well then...is there anything else on this fantasy list of demands from a child who’s obviously grown too big for her mortal britches?”

“Just one more thing....”

As I outlined my last demand—the most selfish of them all—his eyes widened in surprise and delight like I’d never seen before from a hellion. The more excited he grew, the more unnerved I became, in part because a hellion’s joy is never pleasant to witness. But also because it was
my
pain, fear, and anger putting that creepy, dried-blood smile on his face, and that was one of the scariest facts I’d ever contemplated.

When I was finished, Ira stared at me in obvious anticipation. “I must admit, I am intrigued by your devious, clever little mind.” Then he licked his lips with a dark, dark tongue. “Now, let’s discuss payment.”

I took another deep breath and clenched my hands into fists to keep them from visibly shaking, though he could probably taste everything I was feeling on the air, whether or not I let it show. Blood dripped between the fingers of my left hand, and the fresh cut throbbed. “You’ll get a partial payment up front, and even more over the course of our arrangement. Years of pain, fear, and the resulting homicidal rage, just like you said. Then, the bulk will be paid by a third party, when you’ve upheld the last part of our deal.”

“The bulk?”

I nodded. “Pure, concentrated wrath.
Way
more of it than any mortal body could ever contain. Are you familiar with the term ‘mother lode’? Do hellions say that? Because that’s what I’m talking about here. The biggest payoff of your immortal existence.”

“That’s an impressive offer.” Ira frowned at me, and I realized he was trying to smell a lie. “How do you intend to produce such a payment?”

“I find your skepticism insulting,” I said, and he actually chuckled. “If you come through on your end, I’ll come through on mine.” In fact, one was contingent on the other. “Okay?”

The hellion nodded slowly. “The delivery schedule is understood and agreed to. Now, for the up-front part of the payment.” His eyes glittered with perverse pleasure, and it took all of my self-control to keep from gagging. “What did you have in mind?”

I dipped my right index finger into the blood still pooled in my left palm, then reached out to trace his lower lip. “There will be much, much more, but it starts with another kiss....”

* * *

By the time I crossed into the Netherworld, dried blood had crusted on my lips and around my mouth. Ira was not a neat kisser.

That thought—and the fact that I had reason to think it—nearly made me lose what little I’d eaten since lunch the day before. My jaw ached and my tongue throbbed from being bitten, and I wasn’t sure I’d ever get the taste of my own blood out of my mouth. Not to mention the taste of hellion.

I scrubbed my mouth with the tail of my shirt as we walked, but since I had no mirror, I couldn’t be sure I’d gotten all the blood off.

The hospital rose in front of us, and we veered slowly toward the mental health unit across the parking lot from the main building. I stepped carefully to avoid baby creeper vines reaching for me from cracks in the concrete—they had crossed over from the human world, thanks to the steady human traffic on our side of the barrier. Ira let me set the pace, and I wasn’t sure why until he spoke.

“I would tell you not to worry, little fury, except that I’ve grown to enjoy the taste of your fear.”