Soul to Shepherd (2 page)

“A reliable source tipped us off, and I asked someone to look more closely into the circumstances surrounding Quinn’s case. Apparently, the Servants believe they can gain the upper hand against the Order, against us all, if they convert Quinn into a Servant.”

“
Can
they gain the upper hand?”

“It’s possible.”

“What do you mean, ‘It’s possible’?”

“Only true soul mates have the potential to develop a connection so powerful that it allows each partner to independently develop heightened abilities. The full scope of these abilities, however, can only be realized and harnessed when true soul mates bond with each other through the purest forms of faith, love, trust, and fortitude. As their connection grows, so does their strength. Their souls become fuel for each other, nourishment with which to feed the body and mind. The more time true soul mates spend with one another, the closer they get, creating a potentially limitless and unrivaled source of energy between them. But this energy is purely abstract unless the bond forms and is given a proper chance to mature.

“Deprive a mortal child of proper nourishment,” Tara continued, “and you stunt her growth and development. Deprive true soul mates of each other, and you end up with similar results—the true strength and heightened abilities of each partner will never be fully known.”

“So you’re saying Quinn and I can only realize our maximum potential if we’re together?”

“It would seem so.”

Had I heard Tara correctly? Did she just tell me that Quinn and I
had
to be together for this whole true soul mate connection to work? Hope burned so brightly inside of me, I swore I was glowing. I couldn’t hide my smile.

“Eve.” Tara sighed, resting one of her hands over mine. “Listen to me, please. You need to understand that what Quinn and you have is a very rare gift, even for true soul mates.”

“Why is that?”

“You each have the potential for great power. Once the connection between your souls has fully developed, you will immediately draw on each other’s strengths. You both will become stronger as a result, but Quinn’s potential far exceeds that of any mortal because his true soul mate is an immortal. As he absorbs your energy, your strength, he will become stronger than any human.”

“And if the Servants convert Quinn into a demon, what then?”

“Then they will have gained a very powerful weapon on their side,” Tara stated matter-of-factly.

“So, basically, they want to exploit Quinn’s supposed superpowers by converting him—their own immortal Goliath.”

“Precisely.”

“I still don’t get how this whole connection thing works. I mean, Quinn and I are close already and, as far as I know, neither of us has gotten any stronger because of it.”

“I would wager you both have gotten stronger because of your relationship, you just cannot see it yet, and there is still much room for growth given sufficient time. As Quinn absorbs the energy from your immortality, you take in whatever strengths and abilities are developing within him at the same time. It’s a continuous cycle, like blending two colors of paint little by little—eventually yellow and blue become green, and all traces of the original colors disappear.

“But as long as Quinn is human,” Tara continued, “he physiologically cannot handle the full scope of your immortal strength. Still, he will continue to draw enough of your energy to push the outer limits of his mortal capabilities. Should immortality claim him, however, with your energy coursing through him, his strength will surge. Theoretically, he will become the power equivalent of you, perhaps even stronger, which, all things considered, would be stronger than any of us.”

“‘Theoretically’? ‘All things considered’?”

“What Quinn and you have is an anomaly. You two are, as they say, the ‘test case’ in which one true soul mate is immortal. In the past, the strength and energy gained as a result of the bond between two
mortal
true soul mates are retained for the lives of those mortals, regardless of whether one outlives the other. And, as you are aware, immortality can amplify certain ‘gifts’ a mortal already possesses during his or her transformation—or in Quinn’s case, conversion.”

I was familiar with the “gifts” to which Tara was referring. Peter had explained his theory of hybrids to me before—that it was possible for Shepherds to retain certain mortal characteristics, which would normally be abandoned during the transformation to immortality. These characteristics, however, would remain forever dormant unless awakened by an emotionally charged, volatile incident.

Despite my initial skepticism of Peter’s theory, I couldn’t deny that I’d developed certain unique abilities over the past year, like retrieving my memory—a first among my kind as far as I knew. I was also capable of camouflaging myself to be wholly undetectable by demons—another first, apparently. And I could cry, which, in my opinion, was more of a setback because it made me far less capable of hiding my emotions.

And I wasn’t the only Shepherd out there with unusual talents. Dylan could find portals, or tears in the fabric of time, as easily as seeing stars on a clear night. It was rumored that Agnes’s healing power far exceeded that of any other Shepherd. And then there was Peter, who had a strange pulse, a rhythm in his chest, that beat all on its own—I’d felt it beating in my own chest. And, of course, there was his ability to lie.

Maybe I was being overly dramatic, but I imagined Peter’s reaction to Quinn being converted into a Servant. I envisioned the smug satisfaction on his face, knowing Quinn was to be hunted instead of protected, and I cringed inside.

“So let’s say Quinn doesn’t survive the next attack … couldn’t he become one of us?” I chided myself for even entertaining the notion. My number one prerogative—my only prerogative—was to keep him safe. Still, I couldn’t deny my soul felt a little lighter just thinking there was the slightest chance Quinn could become like me—that we could be together forever even if I couldn’t protect him.

“Only the Order can answer that question,” Tara replied.

“Why wouldn’t the Order want Quinn to become a Shepherd? Who wouldn’t want two immortal aces up his sleeve instead of one?”

“It is not that straightforward, Eve.”

“Why not? The Order chose me. And Quinn’s my true soul mate. Wouldn’t that fact alone help his chances any?”

“No,” Tara answered firmly. “There are rules even the Order must obey—certain conditions that must be met for a mortal to be considered for our ranks.”

“But Quinn still could meet them, couldn’t he?” I asked circumspectly.

“Perhaps.”

“And the Servants—they know that,” I said, thinking out loud. “They know if they kill him, there’s still a chance he could become one of us.” I continued piecing the puzzle together in my head. “But if they convert him, it’d be impossible for him to ever become a Shepherd.”

Tara confirmed my theory with a single nod of her head.

“But, if our bond hasn’t fully ‘matured’ yet, why did the Servants try to eliminate me last April? Don’t they still need me? I mean, how else are they going to tap into Quinn’s potential?”

“Questions for which I wish I had the answers. They do need you, but the question is how badly? And for how long? At what point do you become expendable? As for what happened in April, Mathius likely assumed the two of you already had bonded to the fullest extent possible, and that’s why he ordered the Servants to attack you. I am quite confident, however, he has realized his error while Quinn and you have been separated.”

“Mathius?”

“The head of the Servant clan.”

“Oh.”

“We believe the Servants’ plan is to lure you back to Quinn as soon as possible and accelerate the process of strengthening the bond between the two of you.”

“Why rush? Why not just wait to see what happens between Quinn and me?”

“Mathius’s patience has run out. He has been plotting his revenge against the Order for centuries and now he wants to grab hold of the opportunity he believes is finally within arm’s reach. So if things are not progressing quickly enough for his liking, he will likely find a way to try to force the bond between you to mature. He may, for example, use threats of death or acute pain. He may even try to make you witness torturous acts against Quinn, to force you to
feel
Quinn’s pain deep in your soul. Any number of things have been known to trigger extreme reactions between loved ones—true soul mates or not.”

I nodded numbly, remembering when the Servant cut Quinn’s arm to collect his blood the day of the last attack, when I felt Quinn seize beneath me as the Servants were electrocuting us … when I thought I’d lose him forever. I honestly didn’t know what I would’ve done if the outcome that day had been different—if he hadn’t survived.

“And if Mathius does try to prematurely force the connection between us? If he succeeds?” I asked.

“Then he likely will make his move to convert Quinn and destroy you.”

I sighed heavily. “Eliminating me wouldn’t break my bond with Quinn, would it? I mean, they killed me once and that didn’t do it. In fact, in the end, my death probably made our bond even stronger.”

“No, merely eliminating you would not be enough to destroy the connection between the two of you. To do so, one of your souls must be destroyed, something a Servant can no longer do to yours.

“Nonetheless,” Tara continued, “if the Servants succeed in stripping you of your immortality, the connection between your soul and spirit will break, as will all physical manifestations derived from that union. So, although the bond between Quinn’s and your souls will still exist, you will never again be able to take on your existing corporeal form.”

“And if they eliminate me before our bond is at its strongest, then Quinn will just be him, right? No super strength. No special powers.”

“I don’t believe they will make that mistake again,” Tara said ominously. “They will make sure Quinn is at least strong enough to withstand the conversion ritual.” The look in her eyes made my stomach flip. She was holding back.

“What is it you’re not telling me?” I asked her anxiously. I could feel the panic bubbling up from my gut and the nausea settle in my head, making me feel simultaneously hyper-alert and lightheaded.

“The bond between Quinn and you will be broken during the conversion ritual, and you will no longer be true soul mates.”

“How is that possible? You just said our bond can only be broken if one of our souls is destroyed.” I shook my head in disbelief. “And you—you just told me the Servants can’t destroy souls.”

“No, I said the Servants cannot destroy
your
soul—but you are an
immortal
with a soul while Quinn is a
mortal
with one, which means the Servants
can
destroy his soul. And they
will
destroy it if given the chance. It is the only way to become a member of their clan.”

A sharp spasm of pain ripped through my core, stealing my breath from me.
“What?”
I barely managed. I tried to inhale and then exhale, but I couldn’t breathe.

“And, as you pointed out,” Tara explained, “merely killing a human would only destroy his or her body, not the soul. Converting Quinn is the only way for the Servants to ensure nothing is left to chance—that he will never be claimed by the Order or some other group of immortals whose interests conflict with those of the Servants and that the connection between you two is forever broken.”

“What if history isn’t our guide? What if, after our bond is complete, his new strength dies when he does? When our connection is broken? What if he doesn’t become the demonic super weapon they hope him to be in the afterlife?”

“Yet another motive for wanting to neutralize you.”

“I get it. So, if they don’t get a super weapon out of the deal, there’s no way they’d risk their enemies getting one.”

“Actually, even if they do get their ‘super weapon,’ it’s still in their best interest to neutralize you,” Tara clarified.

I frowned. “So that’s the upper hand.”

“Indeed. At best, they will have a better weapon than we do. At worst, they will have another Servant to join their ranks—one who happens to know a little too much about us.” She raised her eyebrows accusingly.

“Oh.” I cringed as yet another piece of the puzzle fit in place. “I didn’t realize just how vulnerable my relationship with Quinn could make all of us.”

“I’m aware of that. I am also aware there was no ill will underlying your actions. Your disclosures to him, however, have left him a sitting duck and us rather exposed.”

“Well, trust me, there’s
no way
I’m going to let them convert him. I’ll do anything to stop it.”

“I know. And so do they.” Tara sighed. “They’re banking on your fear to speed up the bonding process. And I’m afraid your feelings for Quinn will cloud your judgment in the end and make you an easier target.” She sighed again. “If it were up to me, I would keep you under lock and key and hope we could find another way to protect you both, but the decision is not mine to make. Despite the risks, the Order’s directive is clear: Quinn’s conversion is to be prevented at all costs.”

“Great. So once again it’s all on me to save him,” I scoffed.

“Not this time, Eve. If you fail, the Order will take matters into their own hands.”

I felt like I’d been sucker punched. Quinn’s life was in my hands once more, but this time I was protecting him from two groups of immortals, one of which was supposedly on my side.

“How do I make sure I don’t fail?” I practically begged her to tell me the answer.

“I honestly do not know,” she readily conceded.

“Then who does?”

“Tartuf. He knows more than anyone about the Servants—particularly their rituals.” She hesitated. “Unfortunately, he had an altercation with a rather belligerent band of Death Dealers and was forced into hiding. Thankfully, I am one of the few who is aware of his current location. On my request, Sergei has gone there now to ask Tartuf if he would be willing to meet with you. I will notify you when I hear back from him.”