Southern Spice (Southern Desires Series Book 1) (13 page)

If he would’ve known she was married, he never would’ve touched her. But it was too late. And if it hadn’t been for the interruption last night, he really would have something to feel guilty about.

He couldn’t stand there looking at her any longer. Even though he was angry, he was angrier with himself because he still wanted her, even now.

“Jack, I’m heading out today. Anything comes up, call McLean.” Then he rushed past her but was stopped by Mark.

“What exactly is your relationship with Casey?” Mark asked.

Derrick turned and looked back at her. So much was going through his mind. Telling him the truth should have been easy, if only he knew what that truth was himself.

He looked Mark square in his eyes and said, “That’s a question you should ask your wife.” Then walked out the door. He didn’t want or need to witness whatever lie she decided to feed Mark.

When he got outside, he saw McLean standing by his truck. That explained how they arrived in town so quickly. He was going to have to talk to his staff about loyalty. One thing he was very good at was cutting people out of his life who couldn’t be trusted.

Before he could make his way back to his truck, Sissie came flying around the corner and ran right into him.

“Oh, Derrick, you gotta tell me. Is he as handsome as all the ladies are saying?” Sissie pointed to Jack’s office. A stranger in town normally brought attention, but someone who looked like Mark was going to bring out all the ladies.
Too late, Sissie. He’s already taken.

He looked down at her. Sissie normally didn’t push her luck with him, so why would she think talking about Casey’s husband’s great looks would be a wise choice?

Derrick couldn’t put Mark down because he didn’t even know the guy. For all he knew Mark was clueless to what his wife was doing. “She must have found something appealing about him to marry him.”

Sissie slapped him on the arm. “Derrick, it’s too early to be drinking. We all know she didn’t marry her brother. But if he’s single and looking, I have a cousin in Savannah I could introduce him to.”

Brother? That’s her brother?
Not
her husband?
He turned and looked over his shoulder and saw Casey standing in the doorway with Mark and Jack behind her. Only then did he see the pain in her eyes. How could he have been so damn foolish? He accused her of cheating on her husband with him. There was only one low-life jerk in town, and it was him.

He knew he should go and apologize to her, but once they locked eyes, he knew it was going to take more than just words. Somehow he was going to need to show her. That was something he hadn’t done in a long time.

Derrick watched her close the door and turn away from him. He didn’t want this, not any of this. Everything in him said walk away, get on the plane and go back to New York. Time and distance from her were all he needed to clear his head. The thought of leaving was killing him. He never thought another person could hold such power over his feelings again.
Not since Penny.

C
asey spent the rest of the day avoiding any conversation or eye contact with her brother. Why . . . she wasn’t sure. The longer she waited to explain the mess she was in, the worse the explanation was going to hurt. Instead, she spent her entire day meeting with people from Honeywell to answer questions about forms and processes. No matter how she tried to concentrate on what they were asking, her mind drifted back to Derrick.

Why didn’t I just tell him Mark was my brother? It would’ve been much simpler than what I’m facing now. Everyone is looking at me and waiting for an explanation. How can I give what I don’t have? Not one for them or Derrick.

“I don’t know about you, but I am starving. This town must have a place to get food,” Mark said from behind her.

“I would think so.”

Mark arched a brow watching her closely. “You have been here for almost a week, and you haven’t needed to eat? Does that mean you have spent the entire time on the ranch with Derrick?”

Oh, you catch on quickly; you’re good.
“I stay where they make arrangements for me to stay.” Casey was pleased with how quick she had become comfortable with evading topics she didn’t want to discuss. Or so she thought at least.

“The diner is back up and running. Most of the town will be there; if you don’t mind crowds, you should go. You ain’t never gonna get better food,” Jack piped in from his desk, then he got up and headed for the door. “But if y’all would rather sit here and talk things out, these cells normally come with three meals a day. I would be happy to bring you both something after I eat.”

Neither choice appealed to her. “I still have some paperwork to finish. Would it be too much trouble if you brought it back here?”

“Not at all. I’ll even include dessert,” Jack replied as he closed the door.

Once they were alone, Mark said in a tone Casey was way too familiar with, “You’re not doing paperwork tonight. You’ve avoided this all afternoon, but now we talk.”

She hadn’t even bothered to open her laptop because she already knew he was waiting for the right time to broach the subject. Telling him it was none of his business was only going to entice him to dig deeper. It was better if she fed him what she wanted him to know, and hoped for the best.

“It was awkward and confusing.”

“You think?” Mark said. “Why was he so upset you had a husband if there isn’t anything going on between you two?”

“Mark, I only met him a few days ago. How much do you think could have gone on in that short amount of time?” She tried to defend herself, but it wasn’t working.

“You’re asking a man that question? Let’s just say a hell of a lot more could have than I hope did take place with my baby sister.”

“I am a grown woman, Mark,” she stated with her chin held up in the air. The reaction she sought was not the one she got.

“Are you saying you slept with that jerk?” His voice was one of authority.

He was taking his role as big brother way too seriously. Yeah, her parents were still out of the country, but she was about to turn thirty. There was no way Mark thought she was a virgin any longer.
Or maybe he does.

“I am saying that my personal relationships are exactly that, personal.” She’d never spoken so harshly to anyone in her family before. It wasn’t her nature. Somehow the subject of Derrick was stirring up something new, and it wasn’t good.
Nothing about Derrick and me seems to be good, except for how he makes me feel when I’m around him. Then I feel so alive, more than I ever have before. Maybe that’s why I feel dreadful knowing he’s gone, and I won’t see him again.

“So I’ve taken the liberty of digging up some info on your new
friend
while you ignored me all afternoon.”

He knew she wouldn’t be able to resist asking what he found out. She had found what she could, but he had a different level of access, one that probably wasn’t supposed to be used to snoop into someone’s personal life, especially someone like Derrick Nash. But since the deed was already done, she might as well see if he had anything that could help her understand Derrick better.
Why I even want to know after the way he walked away from me this morning is beyond me.

“Are you going to make me ask, or are you just going to spill it?” she asked, her frustration with the entire day now coming out on him.

Mark only laughed. “Not the delicate little girl you used to be. Good.” He walked over and sat beside her. “This guy is dealing with some major demons that I’m not sure you’re going to be able to help him through.”

“If you’re talking about his wife and daughter, I already know. Well, some of it at least. I was hoping to get the report from my agency with the details of what happened to them. I don’t know what the holdup is with them emailing it to me.”

“I can pull some strings and get the report if you want me to—”

“No. Please, Mark. My job would be on the line if anyone knew I was looking into someone because I li—” She couldn’t believe she almost admitted to caring for him. She only wanted a small bit of information, without needing to provide any. Was that asking too much?
From the looks of it, the answer is yes.

“So you like him. What is wrong with that?” Mark asked.

What changed your mind Mark? I know it wasn’t anything I said. So did you look into his background that fast? No. There was no reason to. You have to be going off your gut. But with you, Mark, I never really know.
“You said it yourself. He has some issues from his past that he isn’t yet ready to move on from,” Casey said sadly. There was no way to compete with the person who was the love of his life. “If they had divorced then—”

“You’re thinking crazy. If you like this guy, which, by the way, is all over your face that you do, then don’t let thoughts of anyone else interfere with that. You’ve got to get out of your own way if you want to find happiness.”

She looked at him long and hard. “When did you get all knowledgeable about women? I don’t even remember seeing you date. As far as I know, you’re married to your job.”

“I am, but that doesn’t mean if the right person came along, that I wouldn’t make room in my life for her,” he said sincerely.

Has the entire world flipped or am I dreaming? Nothing is ordinary this week.
“Well, I hope you meet someone soon because I’m tired of being the only girl in the family.”

“Don’t try changing the subject. This conversation is about you and Derrick.”

“There is no me and Derrick.”
Even if I wanted there to be, it can’t be.

Mark reached out and rubbed her shoulder. “I will have to say the guy is not all that easy to read, but I could tell he cares for you. When he thought I was your husband I swear the vein on his forehead was pulsing.” His voice softened. “And when you didn’t deny it, it was crystal clear. Well, to the sheriff and me. I think you and Derrick are the only ones who haven’t figured it out yet.”

How could it be obvious to others when they didn’t know how they felt themselves? That made absolutely no sense to her. Of course, her brother becoming a relationship expert made even less sense.

“So what’s your suggestion? I mean you heard him; he’s leaving for New York. It’s not like we can sit down and talk it out.”

“He’s on the ranch, or at least his phone is.”

Her heart skipped a beat, knowing he didn’t leave.
Was it because of me? No. it can’t be.
There were so many reasons why he could still be there. He wasn’t at the ranch in the first place because of her. What is she supposed to do now?
There’s no way I can go back to the ranch now.
What reason would she give him? Everything she had with her was still here in Jack’s office. If she went now, it was only going to be to talk about what happened between them, and she wasn’t ready for that.
You’re probably not either, Derrick.

“Mark, I don’t know how you got his number to even know he was on the ranch, but you need to stay out of this one. I know what I’m doing.”
Which right now is lying to you.
“Trust me, Mark. There are things going on in this man’s life, and I’m sure he doesn’t need or want us intruding on his privacy.” She knew if there was anything she wanted or needed to know, Mark could find it. Even more than she ever wanted to know, but that didn’t make it right. She already felt horrible about her part in prying into Derrick’s life.

Mark never responded to her request, and she didn’t expect him to. He might be her brother, but in some ways, he and Derrick were similar.
Stubborn and arrogant.

“So what are you going to do?” Mark asked.

“My job.”
Maybe after that I’ll have figured out what I want, but I’m fairly certain leaving Honeywell will be the first step.

Derrick had spent the remainder of his day in negotiations on another business deal. It was the kind of distraction he needed. For the last five years, it had been his chosen therapy. The only place he could escape his thoughts.

Today, no matter how hard he tried, his mind wandered back to Casey and the way he’d treated her. Why had he been so ready to think the worst of her? Was the answer so simple? He was an asshole? There was no doubt that was true. People didn’t need to be around him if they couldn’t handle his attitude. Actually, he’d prefer it if they weren’t.

What is different about you, Casey? Why do I want your company when I can’t stand being around anyone at all, not even myself?
Maybe that was the answer. When he was around her, she made him forget. That was something he didn’t want to do. Something he’d promised
never
to do.

The sky. Don’t you ever just stop and look up?
Her question had knocked him last night.
No
, he’d replied. When really, it should have been
Not anymore, because I used to do that with my baby girl. We’d try to count stars together. She would laugh and tell me I was a silly daddy and that we could never count all the stars. “God made soooo many, Daddy, so everyone in the world could look up into the sky and see the stars.” God, how I miss her sweet face. Her dear voice. Her laughter.
Casey had the same joy. The same delight. She was passionate and compassionate. It was as if her heart was tuned in to his. And he didn’t deserve that sort of . . . kindness. His life was too dark for her light. Too quiet for her energy. No, if he let Casey into his life, what was to say he wouldn’t forget all his promises to Penny and Kim?

The silence was driving him crazy. Derrick got up from his desk and walked out of his office, filled with more questions than answers. She was only going to be around for a few more days. What good was it going to do him to stay here in Texas if he wasn’t going to see her? But having her back on the ranch wasn’t healthy for either of them.

He grabbed his keys and headed out the door. Bubba and McLean were about to pull away from the barn in the truck but stopped when they saw him.

“You need something, boss?” Bubba asked.

“A drink,” Derrick replied.

“Why don’t you hop in? We’re heading into town, to kick back a few to celebra—”

McLean laughed. “Don’t mind Bubba, he’s already feeling good.”

Derrick had never socialized with his employees, never mind the folks from town.
Even when they tried so hard, I shut them out. Why open that door now?

The sun was just about to set. He turned and looked up the hill on the right. The rays were beaming down on the jacaranda tree as though Penny was smiling down on him. Maybe it was time to loosen up just a little.

“I’m not going anywhere in that old piece of shit you call a truck. Let’s take my truck.”

“What the—?” were the only words he heard from the truck before they both leaped out and half-ran to meet him by the truck. It was like they were afraid if they didn’t move quickly the moment would be gone.

“Yee haw!” Bubba shouted out the open window in the back as they sped down the driveway.

Derrick had no idea what possessed him to go willingly not only into town, but into Sissie’s bar. That was the one person he intentionally avoided every time he came to Honeywell. She had a personality bigger than the state of Texas, and he didn’t want her making it any more difficult for him walking into that bar than it already was going to be.