Authors: Melissa Dereberry
And then, every cell in my body felt alive, buzzing and moving at will. There was an enormous gust of wind that blew my swing sideways a bit. Then, I felt a blast of cold air that sent waves of fear through my bones. I saw Dani running toward me, her hair standing on end. I heard my voice, yelling, “Take cover, get out of here! I’m right behind you!” She gave me an uncertain look, then turned abruptly and ran. I felt my body come off the swing and everything went dark.
Part II
Tess
My head is full of dull, throbbing pain, but I try to lift it anyway, noticing that I am in a bed. I feel like I’ve been here before.
Then I remember everything.
I was in a coma for four years. I woke up in a hospital bed, went back to school, met Cricket, Alex, and Zach.
Zach
. I can’t wait to see him. I went back in time to my 13
th
birthday party. Did Dani survive? Did I save her? Where am I now?
Last time
I woke up in a hospital bed
…
I raise my head just enough to see my feet, wiggle them a little. It doesn't take long to confirm where I am.
Oh no… not again.
Everything pretty much goes down the same way it did before. My parents and a doctor appear, starting to fuss over me and tell me what happened. I must be a really good actress, because they obviously think I’m confused, that I have no idea where I’m at or what’s going on. Of course, I can’t say anything. They would just think I had brain damage. There is nothing wrong with my brain. Just like before, it’s my body that’s going to give me problems.
And even though I know what’s ahead… the wheelchair, the rehab, running the gauntlet at a new school.. it’s all worth it. For Dani. And before I realize what I’m saying, “Zach” tumbles out of my mouth.
Uncertainty flickers across my dad’s face. “Zach? Dani’s friend, right? They were together at… the party,” he says, painfully.
My heart skips a beat. So Dani
is alive.
She survived. I have to contain my excitement, though. The last thing I want to do is build that case for brain damage and end up getting stuck here longer. But his words….
Dani’s friend….
strike me. What is he talking about? Zach is my boyfriend, the love of my life. Of course, my dad doesn’t know about all of that. I decide to feign mild confusion to diffuse the moment—but not too much—and change the subject. “Dani and Zach had a party?” I ask.
“Um, no…” Dad mutters. My mom exhales with a nervous laugh.
They start chattering on again, and I am still a bit groggy, so I sort of close my eyes and try to smile and nod. Next thing I know, I open my eyes and a tall blonde girl walks into the room. My parents give her a little hug and then excuse themselves. She immediately comes over, hugs me.
Dani.
The reality of this moment overwhelms me. Hands down, this is the biggest thing that’s ever happened to me. My best friend died, but now she’s here, standing in front of me. I shake my head. No one—except Zach, of course—would believe this. My heart is racing with excitement. I feel stupid because this is so unbelievably huge, and all I can think to say is….
“Hey.”
She smiles—the same smile I remember from so many years ago—but Dani has obviously changed. Of course, I haven’t seen her since we were thirteen years old. Four years is a long time, and her appearance confirms it. She is graceful, a little taller, but not too tall. Her face is thinner, her hair a flowing mane. She has on make-up—more than just the girly lip gloss that we used to wear. She has eyeliner on, mascara—and a bunch of jewelry. She looks like a million bucks and I feel tears coming on. She is wearing a t-shirt that says “JV Cheer.” I think,
She’s one of the Beautiful People
. She’s popular. I’m not all the surprised—she’s always been gorgeous and outgoing. But still, I feel slightly bummed. Where am I going to fit into this scenario? I’ve always been on the fringe, not exactly Miss Popularity.
“You look great,” I say, smoothing down my hair, wondering if anyone had washed it while I was sleeping… or whatever it is you call it. I vaguely wondered how they would go about grooming a coma victim before I realize that it doesn’t matter. Dani’s here and she’s already seem me at my worst.
“Oh sweetie, I’m just glad you’re ok.” She plops down in the chair next to me and puts her hand on my shoulder. “You feel ok, right?”
“Yeah.”
More brilliant conversation.
I’m wondering how much—if anything—she knows about what is really going on. I’m assuming, based on my dad’s previous comment, that Zach must have told her something. But then again, he made me swear not to tell anyone, so why would he? “I’m gonna be ok,” I smile.
Well, you know what happens next. All the poking and prodding and testing and evaluating—more than one human should be forced to endure. And who could forget Brown Middleton Rehab. Yep, still on the border of Hades. Then comes orientation and this is where things start getting weird. As if they aren’t already.
Remember the good old Accu-Read scanner?
When it’s my turn to go through it, I’m feeling a little cocky because everyone else is annoyed with it, but it’s old news to me. I step up; hold my card ready for the setup mode. I hear three beeps and look straight ahead, smile. Then, I hear a fourth beep, slightly different than the other three.
“That’s funny,” I hear the lady say. “The system switched to Active Mode.” I look around. She is sitting at a small table on the right, near a computer screen. “That’s the entry beep.”
More groans from behind. I shrug. And just about that time, I figure out what’s going on. The system already knows me. How cool is that? “What should I do?” I ask, playing naive.
“Hmmm,” the Lady says, tapping her nails on the table. “It won’t let me go back to setup.”
She looks up from her screen. “Have you already attended orientation?” She is clearly grasping for a quick explanation.
I shake my head. “No ma’am.”
She looks flabbergasted. “Well, must be a glitch. There’s bound to be some bugs.” She glances at the frustrated students apologetically. “We’ll have all those worked out by the first day of school. Ms. Turner, you may proceed to Station 3 for classroom assignment. Next in line, step forward.”
As I step away, I hear the three beeps and not a fourth, indicating the system has switched back to setup mode.
What a way to start the school year—again.
My problems, I realize, are just beginning the first time I see Zach. Remember? He walks into the computer classroom. Only this time, I expect him to come right over and sit next to me, which is absurd, of course. Everything is the same. He comes into the classroom and sits next to some pretty girl. Enter Cricket.
After school, we are standing on the front steps, waiting for our parents. There is Zach, just like before. He looks so beautiful—even more than before and I have to contain the added enthusiasm when discussing him with Cricket.
Suddenly, I see Dani coming down the sidewalk in her shades and a denim mini-skirt. I raise my hand to wave, but she’s not looking at me. She stops next to Zach and throws her arm around his neck, with a flirty giggle.
I don’t understand what I’m seeing. Why is Dani talking to Zach? This isn’t supposed to happen. Then the reality hits me like a blast of hot air: I have been all but gone for the last four years. A picture of Dani and Zach sitting on the park bench, at my party—four years is just long enough for two people to get to know each other really well. My heart sinks inside me and it’s all I can do not to cry right then and there. I put on my sunglasses to hide the tears as I watch Dani and Zach walk away together.
At least this time around I can dodge the embarrassment of having Alex bump into me right in front of all the Beautiful People
, I thought. There had to be some sort of silver lining.
After school on Friday that week, I get a text from Dani: -
Football game this afternoon—you up for it?
To tell you the truth, I’d rather go to the dentist than go to a football game, but I just now got Dani back, and I don’t want to disappoint her. -
Aren’t you cheering?
-That’s varsity. I’m JV. Zach’s playing.
Wait a minute—Zach plays football? Varsity football? I guess a lot has changed, since that day in the park at my 13
th
birthday party. I have a sinking feeling that I’ve missed more than four years of my life. The last six months have changed, too. I don’t know what that means for Zach and me, but I am seriously not liking the looks of it.
I may regret this, but I text back, -
Sure, why not.
I have to get to the bottom of this new reality—the sooner, the better. Frustrated, yet somehow determined, I toss the phone on the bed and head to the shower to get ready.
I turn on the water as hot as I can stand it. My muscles ache and I feel a little weak, but other than that, I seem ok. I don’t really feel any different, other than being slightly uneasy about what’s to come. Surely Zach remembers, right? He’s probably just being cautious. After all, I was never supposed to tell anyone. He’s just waiting for the right moment, to reunite with me in secret. My heart flutters with the thought.
And yet, what if he hates me for having gone through with it, risking my life to save Dani—after telling him I wasn't going to? I lather up my hair with the sweet smelling apple shampoo my mom left for me, letting the suds slide down my body as I stretch my neck this way and that. I have to stop being so paranoid. Zach’s probably just busy practicing and whatever it is that football players do. Maybe I’ll get lucky and he won’t remember any of the time travel stuff and we can just get on with where we left off somehow. Wishful thinking. I close my eyes and imagine his soft, warm kisses, the way his hands fit perfectly around my waist, always pulling me closer, closer. I can’t stop smiling. As I get out of the shower and towel off, a thought stabs me in the gut: But
what if he doesn’t remember me at all? What if he doesn’t remember us?
He might forget about the simulations and the experiments and the data, but what on earth am I going to do if he’s forgotten about me?
“Shut up,” I say out loud. “Just stop it.” I won’t even go there. It’s not an option. Zach is mine. Always has been and always will be. I bend over, twisting the towel tightly around my head. When I come up, I survey my reflection in the mirror with a look of determination.
What we have is unforgettable…
Nothing is going to change that.
When I’m almost ready, I get a text from Cricket.
-hey what RU up 2
-going to the football game
-since when do you like football?
-since never…Dani asked me. Some guy she likes will be there. U want to come?
-yeh right. I’d fit right in with that bunch. No thanks. Think I’ll wash my hair instead..LOL
-k—CU tomorrow?
-sure have fun
I hadn’t considered, at all, the impact of all this on Cricket, on our friendship. Are she and I still the same? What does she know—if anything—about Zach? That will be a conversation for tomorrow, for sure. Maybe she can shed some light on Zach and Dani, as well.
Zach
I stop to pick up Dani before the game so we can get something to eat. I put my arm around her and keep it there, all the way to the car, opening the door for her. She slides into the seat with a sigh of exhaustion. I know there’s something bothering her, but I know Dani well enough not to ask just yet, so I just turn on some music and smile at here. Finally, she says, “I’m worried about Tess. She’s just not been herself lately. And what was with her running out in the middle of that storm anyway? She could have gotten herself killed.”
I put on my best optimist face and tell her, “Don’t worry, she’ll come around. She’s probably just having some residual effects.”
Dani curls up one side of her mouth. “Really Zach? So not in the mood.”
“For what?” I protest. I have no idea what she’s all up in arms about. “What are you talking about?”
“You and your big words,” she says.
“Sorry,” I mutter. “I just meant she might still be having issues from the coma.”
“No biggie. Anyway, that was six months ago. You’d think she’d be recovered by now.”
I shrug. “Maybe. Maybe not.”
“Do you think she might have…
mental
problems?” Dani is starting to pick at her nails. She does that when she’s nervous. So I reach over and grab one of her hands and my cheeks start to burn. I retrieve my hand. “Sorry,” I say. I never know just how she feels about me.
“It’s ok.”
“It’s just—” Where do I start? There are so many things I’d like to say to her, beginning with a question:
Tell me, again, why it is that we’re “just friends?”
I missed the lecture day on that topic. My notes are incomplete.
She says, “It just sucks, you know? I just got my best friend back and she’s all wierded out. It’s like she doesn’t know me anymore. It’s just not the same.”