Spelling It Like It Is (26 page)

During the party, Liam, the birthday boy, was in a mood. He rejected the costumes that he’d wanted everyone to wear. He didn’t want to eat anything. He was only persuaded to do a tiny bit of Jedi training. He had to be coerced to cut the cake. He did the piñata under pressure. But all he really wanted to do was to jump, at some points all by himself, in the wiped-down bouncy house. What was I trying to achieve? Who was this party for if not for him? Lesson learned. I should have just had a bouncy house, stuck it in the middle of the yard, and called it a day.

The kicker came when it was time to pose for the photos for Crocs. After we wrangled Liam, which wasn’t easy, we posed for a few shots. Dean and Jack weren’t there, of course, because they were still at the hospital. Halfway through the pictures Bill leaned in and whispered to me, “You know this is going to be a problem. People are going to notice that Dean’s not in any of the photos and they’ll say it’s because you two are getting divorced.”

He was right. As soon as the pictures went online, my publicist started getting calls. It never ends.

I THINK ABOUT the challenges of the past few years—moving houses too many times, falling into debt, the end of
Tori & Dean
, a high-risk pregnancy, and a life-threatening complication—and I can’t help but weigh them against the incredible fortune I have. Four healthy babies whom I love more than the world, and a husband who is my confidant, hero, and the love of my life. The more life goes on—the happy and the sad—the closer our family is bound.

I’ve gained strength and perspective that I wouldn’t have had two years ago. I’m coming to terms with who I am—a wife, a mother, Aaron Spelling’s daughter. I have dreams I can accomplish, and some that I may have to set aside until the time is right. But I know what is most important to me. My family comes first. I want to make a home for us, one that is simple, and warm, and fabulous (within our means), and somehow fits all of us and our menagerie. I’ve shown the reality of my life on-screen, and I’ve shared the reality behind that reality. Now it’s time to just live it.

Doing belly shots—kids kiss the baby not knowing if it’s a boy or a girl (soon-to-be Hattie).

(Courtesy of Dean McDermott)

Stella hugging her cousin Simone at the baby shower for baby Hattie.

(Courtesy of Bill Horn)

My gusband, Mehran, and I have a much-needed girlfriend day! Here we are watching our last movie before Hattie was born the next day.

(Courtesy of Tori Spelling)

Me in my DIY hospital gown with my three babes, currently unaware that one month from this photo I’d be preggers again!

(Courtesy of Dean McDermott)

My first moment with newborn Hattie—one reality moment I wish had been private.

(Courtesy of Mario Panagiotopoulos)

Liam cuddles with baby sister Hattie.

(Courtesy of Dean McDermott)

Just a normal day in the McDermott household. . . . What? Not everyone has a pig peeking in their fridge?

(Courtesy of Tori Spelling)

My chicken, Coco, reminds me so much of my pug, Mimi La Rue. She even loves to wear clothing! #FashionablePoultry

(Courtesy of Jill Keenan)

Our whole gang!

(Courtesy of Tori Spelling)

Hattie’s first time in the pool. One milestone that was all her and me.

(Courtesy of Tori Spelling)