Spirit (38 page)

When I came to
again, I was kneeling in the grass, my left foot tucked under me and my hands
resting on my right knee. I lifted my head slowly, blinking my eyes open. My
body smoked in the cold night air. I felt the weight of my wings arcing off my
back, the tips resting on the ground a few feet behind me. The pain in my back
was gone, finally. The bones, muscles, and skin were repaired wholly; not even
an ache remained.

I felt the
weight of a dozen stares on me; I was surrounded. Jodi and Steven stood in
front of me, clinging to each other, the whites of their eyes showing. Beside
them stood Ashriel, his face wet with tears even as he smiled. I turned my head
back and forth and saw a dozen other people and creatures, all watching me.
Iris stood in her flowered glory, light emanating from her very being, with her
entourage all around, including Jeremy, who looked very much like an elf as he
smiled. Between them sat Balor, his white fur bright in the darkness. I saw his
tail whipping back and forth behind him as he danced in place, desperate to run
for me.

I saw the
shadowed forms of Gwyn and Jacob, as if they had sent their spirits into this
world, but their bodies remained in the Outlands. Katcharias and two of his kin
stood in the circle, looking strange with two legs and on dry land. Tegan, the
tiny faerie that had given me back my faerie sight, fluttered in front of my
face, glitter sifting from his body before he darted away with a knowing smile.
Then my eyes landed on Liam, standing just to the side of Ashriel. His pale
lips curled into a small smile when he bowed his head slightly. I felt my heart
pound at the sight of him, and I realized I had been terrified this entire time
that maybe he hadn’t gotten away in time and had died. I hadn’t let myself
think about it, knowing if he had, there wasn’t anything I could’ve done. But
he was there, healthy as ever.

I wasn’t all
together sure who I was supposed to look at or speak to first, but the sudden
rush of power from the ground below me pushed those thoughts out of my head.
The grass around me had started to grow faster than all the other grass, and
when I placed my hand on the ground, tiny clover flowers bloomed between my
fingers. I had dominion over the Earth once again.

I pushed to my
feet slowly, feeling my wings shift naturally to accommodate my new position,
as if I was used to having them now. Steven was the first to take a step
forward, extracting his hands from Jodi’s. I watched him come, each step just a
little more unsure than the last, until he stood right in front of me. The brown
of his eyes was bright again, like liquid honey and trapped fire. He lifted his
hand and reached for me. When his fingers touched my cheek, they were warm, and
I could smell roasting peppers and campfire smoke. I cupped my hand over his,
leaning my face into his palm.

Jodi was next to
us in another moment, a gust of wind whipping around us in her excitement. I
held out my other hand for her, and she took it, her fingers twining with mine.
Power rose inside of me like a wave, rearing up and crashing through me to wash
through each of them. Jodi laughed even as tears sprung to her eyes, and Steven
wrapped us both into a bone crushing hug. I heard Balor bark, unable to control
himself anymore, and he rushed forward, circling us, jumping in excitement.

“How?” Steven
asked as he released us, stepping back.

“I guess I
passed some sort of test,” I said, scrubbing my face with the back of my hand.
We turned to look at Ashriel, who was still crying quietly. He smiled a watery
smile and nodded.

“It appears you
have,” he agreed. “And it appears they are going to let you stay here.”

“How do you
know?” Jodi asked.

“Because I’m
here,” I said. “And I am healed and I have these.” I gestured to the wings
behind me. I pressed a hand to my chest and felt my heart pounding. “Ash, am I
alive again?”

“Yes,” he said,
“alive but immortal.”

“Whoa,” Steven
whispered, looking at me again.

“Immortal?” I
asked, suddenly feeling a heavy weight settling on my back. It felt like the
weight of a thousand years. Balor whined next to me, sitting on his haunches
and leaning into me, his weight no longer too much for me. I rested my hand on
his head, blinking at Ashriel.

“You are
reborn,” he said, stepping forward until he could take my hands. “All your
sacrifices for so many, your determination to do what is right; they have given
you back as a true earthbound angel. You will never age, bound here to fulfill
your purpose, just as you always have.”

“Just like
that?” Steven asked, his brow pinched.

“It wasn’t just
like that,” I said, shaking my head. “It felt like I died all over again.”

“You did,”
Ashriel agreed.

“But I can
stay?” I asked, squeezing his hand, almost too afraid to believe it.

“You can stay,”
he said with a nod. “But I must go.”

“Why?” I asked
quickly, feeling my heart leap into my throat.

“This is now
your domain, and I must move on to help the next like you,” he said, lifting
his other hand to brush his fingers over my cheek. “I am so proud of you.”

“Thanks,” I
whispered, feeling my throat swell as tears stung my eyes. “Thank you for not
giving up on me. You know, even when I acted like an ass.”

He laughed, his
face brightening like the sun breaking through a storm, and said, “You’re
welcome, Terra.”

He faded as I
watched, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw all the others gathered in the
circle were fading away as well. Gwyn and Jacob were already gone.

“Will I see you
again?” I asked quickly, trying to hold onto Ashriel’s hand until the very last
second, suddenly terrified of losing him even though I had run from him this
whole time.

“I will always
be with you,” he said. “You need only to call for me. Be well, Terra. I know
you’ll make me proud.” His voice was barely a whisper at the end as he faded
from sight, leaving me, Jodi, and Steven alone in the field with Balor. My
friends rushed back to me, throwing their arms around me, holding on
desperately, crying and laughing in complete relief. Balor barked happily,
rubbing his snout against my leg.

I was exactly
where I was supposed to be and nothing, not even the Powers that Be, could take
me from them ever again.

Epilogue

The very first
thing I did was go home and see my parents. They both handled seeing me appear
out of nowhere on the front porch pretty well, all things considered. I really
thought at least one of them would faint, but they just stared, unbelieving as
I walked in the house. Jodi and Steven offered to go with me, but I decided to
go by myself. I had thought about lying to my parents, telling them I had been
lost after the fire, making something up about hitting my head, but Jodi told
me it was already March, so it was doubtful that would fly. And really? I was
tired of hiding, tired of lying.

I guess I
expected them to be so happy to see me alive that they would just throw their
arms around me in a bone crushing hug. But in reality, they reached for each
other, almost holding each other up. I wanted to reach out for them, hug them
and just be happy, but the fear and confusion on their faces stopped me. Maybe
I was still just a little too naïve and hopeful, even after death.

When they still
didn’t speak, I said, “Mom…” I paused to clear my throat. “You know I have
abilities, like you and grandma.”

“Yes, honey,”
she said in a voice squeaky with nerves as she held on to my dad’s arm for
support. They both stared at me as though I was some monster with two heads or
a dog that could talk.

“Well, I have a
lot more than you ever knew.”

“They told us
you died,” my dad said in a rough whisper, ignoring what I said. I wasn’t sure
he had blinked since I walked in.

“I did, dad,” I
said as gently as I could, a stitch forming in my chest. “But I’m back.”

“But…” My mom
stepped closer to me, reaching out to touch my arm. She hesitated for a second,
her hand shaking in midair, but when she finally touched my arm, her fingers
coiled tightly, almost painfully. She blinked and looked into my eyes, hers
bright behind unshed tears. And then she smiled. Something between a sob and a
laugh burst out of me, and I smiled back at her, the first tear spilling down
my face, hot and wet.

“I know,” I managed,
my voice breaking. I took a breath to steady my nerves and then called my wings
forward. It didn’t hurt one bit; they just appeared and disappeared as I willed
without ever tearing my skin or breaking my bones. I felt their familiar weight
settle between my shoulders, pulling me back slightly as I adjusted my stance
to support them in the confined space of the living room.

My dad’s legs
gave out, and he sat back on the couch, hard, with a whispered curse, and my
mother’s hand spasmed on my arm, her nails almost cutting into my skin.

“I did die, but
I’m a guardian angel, and they let me come back,” I said, looking from one face
to the other. “I’m allowed to stay here, in this town, with you guys.” I bit my
tongue, realizing I was about to start babbling because they weren’t
responding. With a breath, I finally said, “If this is too hard for you, I’ll
understand. I can go and leave you in peace, but I thought you should know.” My
voice broke again, and I couldn’t stop the tears. It wasn’t going how I thought
it would at all.

“What?” my mom
said, blinking rapidly as she looked at me. “Go? No!” She wrapped both hands
around my arm as if she was afraid I’d disappear right there in front of her
eyes. Relief crashed through me like a tidal wave, threatening to knock me
over. I smiled softly at her and laid my hand over hers, trying to reassure her
I wasn’t leaving again.

“No,” my dad
echoed, standing up and coming forward. He wrapped me and my mom into a
crushing hug, and I felt a hot tear hit my face when he closed his eyes. I
willed my wings away, allowing me to step fully into the circle of their arms.
We didn’t talk about what that exactly meant for me, for us, but there was time
for that later, plenty of time. I would eventually have to deal with the fact
that I was immortal now, while my friends, my family, were not. But for the
present, I gave myself permission to not think about that. Just for now, I
allowed myself a little peace.

I found that I
could see people’s true selves when I looked at them. I knew who was a truly
good person despite any flaws they might have, and I knew with a heart stopping
clarity who were the real monsters in our world. It was as if my empathetic
powers had finally come to fruition, and that was what they were supposed to be
like. People’s auras shone bright for me to see before I ever saw their faces.
I knew what was in their hearts, for good or bad. My job was to watch out for
those who needed help and to stop those who would destroy others whenever it
was within my power. That was the one major change in my life. The Powers that
Be didn’t reach out to tell me how to know when to intervene and when not to,
so I just continued on as I always had.

Jodi and
Steven’s elemental powers came rushing back to them as soon as I took my first
breath, bringing them back to life again and that looming shadow disappeared.
They were far more powerful than they had ever been before; they could create
wind and fire with a simple thought and were able to stop it just as easily. Personally,
I found myself outside much more than I ever had in life, finally appreciating
my Earth powers as I always should have. Having them stripped from me for a
paltry three months felt like a lifetime, and I wasn’t about to take them for
granted ever again.

Balor got to
stay with me. It was nice to have him at my side, willing and ready to help me.
He also kept me tied to the
other side
,
bringing balance to my new existence as a living angel. I tried to stay home
with my parents, tried to slip back into a “normal” existence for them, but I
just couldn’t do it. Something about being confined in the house wore me down.
My mom fought me, but eventually she too could see it in my eyes. I needed to
be outside, part of the world, the Earth.

Iris welcomed me
and Balor to stay in the
Sidhe
whenever I needed to. Unsurprisingly, being hidden away inside the Earth didn’t
burden me like being inside a house; rather it recharged me and was the one
place I find that I could rest. And Balor liked it, and that was very
important. So I moved between the Fae world to the human world, finding my
place somewhere in between, and was finally at peace.

I’m not exactly
sure what I’m doing just yet, but I have some experience saving people, and
Ashriel has enough faith in me for the both of us. I just hope I can live up to
this; I hope I am good enough for it. As I look out on my town, with the wind
ruffling my wings, the power rushing through me from the ground below, and see
the bright lights of all the innocent souls shining back at me, I know I want
to try. And as I see the shifting, sneaking black souls, plotting and scheming,
I know I have to try.