Stand by Me (66 page)
Greg nodded.
‘I don’t mind really,’ said Emma. ‘I like the work and it means I get some adult conversation during the day.’
‘Understandable.’
‘Anyway, I thought it was important to tell you about the job because you’d hear it anyway and because I suppose it means you should give me less money.’
‘You should say all this to your solicitor,’ Greg told her.
‘I know. But I wanted to talk to you, not him,’ said Emma. ‘I don’t want ...’ Her voice faltered. ‘I know we live apart and the divorce will come through eventually, but I don’t want it all to be so impersonal.’
‘Divorce
is
impersonal,’ said Greg.
is
impersonal,’ said Greg.
‘No,’ she told him. ‘It’s very, very personal.’
‘Depends on your perspective, I guess.’
‘I think what I wanted to say was that I’m not trying to get anything out of you, Greg. I’m not looking for anything I don’t deserve. I know the solicitors do their thing, but the truth is that I never meant to hurt you and I need you to believe me.’
‘You never meant to hurt me?’ He cut his bread in half and then in half again.
‘I know, I know.’ Her voice quavered. ‘I have a nerve saying that, haven’t I? But I did what I did and I was crazy and stupid and I wasn’t thinking of hurting you or not. I wasn’t thinking of anything.’
Greg filled her water glass from the jug on the table.
‘I should’ve slept with him at Domino’s wedding,’ said Emma. ‘I’d planned for that, you know. I was wearing my hottest dress and I’d had a fake tan done and everything. But I couldn’t get close enough to him.’
‘So you got close to me instead.’
‘You were more real,’ said Emma. ‘He was my fantasy.’
As Dominique had, for a time, been his, thought Greg.
‘I’ve been thinking about it a lot,’ Emma continued, ‘and I want to say that it wasn’t that I didn’t love you, Greg. It was that ...’ She took a deep breath. ‘I always got what I wanted before. When I was a kid, when I was at school . . . I was the girl people wanted to be and I got the boys that the other girls fancied. I know that’s pathetic and juvenile, but that’s how it was. And I needed Gabriel to want me too.’
Greg nodded silently.
‘You were so lovely, and great to me, but the thing was that you wanted me just like all the other guys. Even though you were a million times nicer and more wonderful. Gabriel was a prize. I know that makes me sound even more shallow and selfish than you probably already think I am, but it’s the truth. I obsessed about Gabriel, I admit it. But I also thought that maybe I could have the relationship with him that you had with Domino.’
‘We agreed no more talk about Domino and Gabriel.’ Greg’s voice was firm.
‘I wanted the closeness,’ Emma continued, regardless. ‘The kind of understanding that you two seemed to have. I thought I could have that with Gabriel. I don’t know why on earth I didn’t just realise I could have had it with you.’
Greg was silent.
‘I was an idiot,’ Emma told him. ‘I didn’t realise that there was give and take, and maybe I had to change a bit to be like Domino.’
‘I didn’t marry you for you to be like Domino,’ said Greg.
‘And I didn’t marry you as a second choice to Gabriel,’ said Emma. ‘To be totally frank with you, I didn’t realise how much I needed you . . . how much I loved you . . . until I slept with him. I know that’s terrible,’ she added as he opened his mouth to speak. ‘I know I’m a horrible, horrible person and I understand why you want to divorce me and I understand why you’ll probably be glad never to see me again. But I do love you, Greg. I was just too shallow to realise it.’
He stared wordlessly at her.
‘Please, please believe me when I tell you I’m not just saying this because I’m lonely by myself. It’s not because I need a man, any man. It’s you I miss, Greg. I’ve no right to ask you to think about a life with me in the future, but I have to, because I can’t walk away without making the effort. The effort I should’ve made years ago.’
She took a large gulp of water from her glass.
‘I love you. I’m sorry I was so bad at being married to you. But I’m begging you to think again about what we’re doing. Think again about the divorce.’
Dominique and Brendan had driven directly to the sports centre. Brendan pulled up in the car park and slotted Domino’s Fiesta into a space between two Range Rovers.
‘I miss my Lexus,’ he said glumly. ‘I wonder what kind of price the bank got for it.’
‘I’m used to the Fiesta now,’ said Dominique. ‘It’s easy to zip around town in it.’
‘Do you see the positive side in everything these days?’ he asked as he opened the door.
‘Not at all,’ she said. ‘But I try.’
She stepped out of the car and looked at the new building.
‘I would’ve loved to stay involved with this.’ Brendan’s eyes followed hers and his voice was wistful. ‘I wish it had been different.’
‘So do I,’ she said briskly. ‘But it’s the way it is. Nothing we can do.’
He came around the car and took her by the hand. ‘We can dazzle them,’ he told her. ‘We can let them know that the Delahayes are back.’
They walked across the car park and into the foyer of the centre. There was a small knot of people standing there, and Dominique recognised a couple of city councillors as well as a woman from a local sports partnership with whom she’d once had lunch when talking about an initiative to get children in the area more active.
‘Brendan Delahaye.’ One of the councillors broke from the group and extended his hand. ‘Good to see you.’
‘Good to see you too, Peter.’
The councillor turned to her. ‘And Domino. Glad you could make it.’
‘Delighted to be here,’ she said.
Everyone else in the group then welcomed them, and as more and more people began to turn up, Dominique found herself being isolated from Brendan, caught up with a different set of people.
‘How are things with you now, girl?’ Katie Curtin, a governor of the school Kelly had attended, came up to her.
‘Not too bad,’ said Dominique. ‘Getting by.’
‘Well I’m delighted that everything’s turning around,’ said Katie. ‘And that you and Brendan are back together. I never believed for a minute half of what people were saying, but you know what it’s like, don’t you? Once the rumours start, you can’t stop them.’
‘Indeed I do,’ said Dominique.
‘That interview with him was great,’ said Lena Doyle. ‘And fair play to you, Domino, for supporting him the whole time.’
‘So listen, are you thinking of coming back to Cork?’ asked Nancy Shaw, the owner of the art gallery where Dominique had bought the paintings for Atlantic View. ‘We miss you around the place.’
‘I don’t think so,’ Dominique told them. ‘Brendan’s based in Dublin now, and our house was sold, so ...’
‘He’s a fine-looking man, the new owner,’ said Siobhan Conners. ‘Keeps himself to himself, though. We don’t see much of him.’
‘But it’s not the same as having you there,’ said Nancy. ‘And of course he doesn’t ask people to the house.’
‘Do you miss it?’ asked Lena.
‘Of course,’ said Dominique.
‘I heard you have a great job in Dublin,’ Siobhan said.
‘It’s just a job,’ said Dominique, ‘but I enjoy it.’
‘You’re the kind of person who always bounces back, aren’t you?’ Lena smiled at her. ‘No matter what.’
‘You think so?’
‘Absolutely,’ said Lena. ‘I remember hearing you on the radio years ago talking about what a hard time you had after you had Kelly, but you were so positive and cheerful about it all. I remember thinking that you were a great woman, and very inspiring.’
‘I’m not really,’ said Dominique.
‘So listen, Domino.’ Siobhan lowered her voice. ‘Can we ask you one thing?’
‘What?’ she asked warily.
‘Did you know where Brendan was when he was away? Was he secretly in touch with you? Sending you texts and emails and stuff?’
‘No,’ replied Dominique shortly.
‘He didn’t tell you anything?’
‘No,’ she repeated.
‘And you took him back anyway?’
She said nothing.
‘It’s another lesson to us,’ said Lena. ‘I keep on throwing poor aul’ Paudie out. And he hasn’t done anything half as bad.’
Dominique shrugged and then stood to one side as another woman joined them.
‘Dominique!’ Stephanie Clooney beamed at her.
‘Hello, Stephanie.’ Dominique could feel a quiver of anger run through her. She might have forgiven Brendan, but she still hadn’t forgiven Stephanie for her remarks about the charity money or for cutting her dead in the car park.
‘It’s so lovely to see you back in town,’ said Stephanie. ‘We’ve all missed you so much.’
‘Hardly,’ said Dominique mildly. ‘I haven’t heard a word from anyone.’
The women around her looked sheepish.
‘Not that I’d have expected to, of course,’ she continued, her voice suddenly brittle. ‘After all, people were branding me as some kind of gangster’s moll.’
‘Ah, Domino, that’s not true,’ said Lena.
‘I think it is,’ said Dominique.
‘Brendan had disappeared with people’s money,’ said Stephanie. ‘You can’t blame us for being cautious.’
‘No,’ said Domino. ‘I don’t blame you. But I wish you hadn’t judged me too.’
‘I’m sorry,’ said Siobhan. ‘I guess I did judge you. And I was wrong.’
‘All water under the bridge now,’ said Stephanie briskly. ‘It’s lovely to see you again, Domino, and I do hope that you’ll be able to support our functions in the future. I realise times are harder, but you’ll be very welcome.’
Dominique said nothing. She was battling with the desire to punch Stephanie Clooney on her big Roman nose.
A slight commotion at the door distracted her and she saw the Lord Mayor arrive, surrounded by more public figures she vaguely knew, as well as some of the players from county teams. Then the manager of the centre got everyone’s attention and started the proceedings.
Dominique was on the opposite side of the group to Brendan. She could see him standing beside a local politician and she wondered if he was already starting to build up contacts again. She knew that he wouldn’t stay working for Keystone Construction for ever. He was the kind of man who liked to do his own thing. And even though it had all gone so badly wrong for him, he seemed to have the ability to win people back to his side. She’d been worried that coming to this event would give people the opportunity to harangue him over the past, but nobody had. In fact she’d heard one or two remarks about the fact that he’d been badly treated by the media and that he was a local man who’d done his best and who needed their support. She wondered if people felt the same way about her. But then she wasn’t a local girl. She never had been.
Her eyes grazed the crowd and then stopped suddenly. Paddy O’Brien was standing among them. She didn’t know how she hadn’t seen him before, because he was taller than most of the men in the room, even Brendan. It was the first time she’d ever seen him in a suit and tie, and it changed his appearance completely. He’d lost the easy, casual air she associated with him and looked somehow more intense. He was watching the Lord Mayor and seemed to be engrossed in his speech, but then he suddenly looked around, straight at her. She felt herself blush as their eyes met, embarrassed at being caught staring at him. He smiled, and gave her a small nod of acknowledgement. She supposed she shouldn’t be surprised that he was here. He was a sportsman after all.
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