Read Stanley Kubrick's A clockwork orange: based on the novel by Anthony Burgess Online
Authors: Stanley Kubrick; Anthony Burgess
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"Not having that we're not, brotherth. Don't give in to the
thquirt." So this new one said:
"Crash your dermott, yid," meaning to shut up, but it was
very insulting. So then Big Jew got ready to launch a tol-
chock. The Doctor said:
"Come on, gentlemen, we don't want any trouble, do we?"
in his very high-class goloss, but this new prestoopnick was
really asking for it. You could viddy that he thought he was a
very big bolshy veck and it was beneath his dignity to be
sharing a cell with six and having to sleep on the floor till I
made this gesture at him. In his sneery way he tried to take off
The Doctor, saying:
"Owwww, yew wahnt noo moor trouble, is that it, Archi-
balls?" So Jojohn, mean and keen and wiry, said:
"If we can't have sleep let's have some education. Our new
friend here had better be taught a lesson." Although he like
specialized in Sexual Assault he had a nice way of govoreeting,
quiet and like precise. So the new plenny sneered:
"Kish and kosh and koosh, you little terror." So then it all
really started, but in a queer like gentle way, with nobody
raising his goloss much. The new plenny creeched a malenky
bit at first, but the Wall fisted his rot while Big Jew held him
up against the bars so that he could be viddied in the malenky
red light from the landing, and he just went oh oh oh. He was
not a very strong type of veck, being very feeble in his trying
to tolchock back, and I suppose he made up for this by being
shoomny in the goloss and very boastful. Anyway, seeing the
old krovvy flow red in the red light, I felt the old joy like rising
up in my keeshkas and I said:
"Leave him to me, go on, let me have him now, brothers."
So Big Jew said:
"Yeth, yeth, boyth, that'th fair. Thlosh him then, Alekth." So
they all stood around while I cracked at this prestoopnick in
the near dark. I fisted him all over, dancing about with my
boots on though unlaced, and then I tripped him and he went
crash crash on to the floor. I gave him one real horrorshow
kick on the gulliver and he went ohhhh, then he sort of
snorted off to like sleep, and The Doctor said:
"Very well, I think that wil be enough of a lesson," squinting
to viddy this downed and beaten-up veck on the floor. "Let
him dream perhaps about being a better boy in the future." So
we all climbed back into our bunks, being very tired now.
What I dreamt of, O my brothers, was of being in some very
big orchestra, hundreds and hundreds strong, and the con-
ductor was a like mixture of Ludwig van and G. F. Handel,
looking very deaf and blind and weary of the world. I was
with the wind instruments, but what I was playing was like a
white pinky bassoon made of flesh and growing out of my
plott, right in the middle of my belly, and when I blew into it I
had to smeck ha ha ha very loud because it like tickled, and
then Ludwig van G. F. got very razdraz and bezoomny. Then
he came right up to my litso and creeched loud in my ooko,
and then I woke up like sweating. Of course, what the loud
shoom really was was the prison buzzer going brrrrr brrrrr
brrrrr. It was winter morning and my glazzies were all cally
with sleepglue, and when I opened up they were very sore in
the electric light that had been switched on all over the zoo.
Then I looked down and viddied this new prestoopnick lying
on the floor, very bloody and bruisy and still out out out.
Then I remembered about last night and that made me smeck
a bit.
But when I got off the bunk and moved him with my bare
noga, there was a feel of like stiff coldness, so I went over to
The Doctor's bunk and shook him, him always being very
slow at waking up in the morning. But he was off his bunk
skorry enough this time, and so were the others, except for
Wall who slept like dead meat. "Very unfortunate," The
Doctor said. "A heart attack, that's what it must have been."
Then he said, looking round at us all: "You really shouldn't
have gone for him like that. It was most ill-advised really."
Jojohn said:
"Come come, doc, you weren't all that backward yourself
in giving him a sly bit of fist." Then Big Jew turned on me,
saying:
"Alekth, you were too impetuouth. That latht kick wath a
very very nathty one." I began to get razdraz about this and
said:
"Who started it, eh? I only got in at the end, didn't I?" I
pointed at Jojohn and said: "It was your idea." Wall snored a
bit loud, so I said: "Wake that vonny bratchny up. It was him
that kept on at his rot while Big Jew here had him up against
the bars." The Doctor said:
"Nobody will deny having a little hit at the man, to teach
him a lesson so to speak, but it's apparent that you, my dear
boy, with the forcefulness and, shall I say, heedlessness of
youth, dealt him the coo de gras. It's a great pity."
"Traitors," I said. "Traitors and liars," because I could viddy
it was all like before, two years before, when my so-called
droogs had left me to the brutal rookers of the millicents.
There was no trust anywhere in the world, O my brothers, the
way I could see it. And Jojohn went and woke up Wall, and
Wall was only too ready to swear that it was Your Humble
Narrator that had done the real dirty tolchocking and brut-
ality. When the chassos came along, and then the Chief
Chasso, and then the Governor himself, all these cell-droogs
of mine were very shoomny with tales of what I'd done to
oobivat this worthless pervert whose krovvy-covered plott
lay sacklike on the floor.
That was a very queer day, O my brothers. The dead plott
was carried off, and then everybody in the whole prison had
to stay locked up until further orders, and there was no pishcha
given out, not even a mug of hot chai. We just all sat there,
and the warders or chassos sort of strode up and down the
tier, now and then creeching "Shut it" or "Close that hole"
whenever they slooshied even a whisper from any of the cells.
Then about eleven o'clock in the morning there was a sort of
like stiffening and excitement and like the von of fear spread-
ing from outside the cell, and then we could viddy the
Governor and the Chief Chasso and some very bolshy im-
portant-looking chellovecks walking by real skorry, govoreet-
ing like bezoomny. They seemed to walk right to the end
of the tier, then they could be slooshied walking back again,
more slow this time, and you could slooshy the Governor, a
very sweaty fatty fair-haired veck, saying slovos like "But, sir - "
and "Well, what can be done, sir?" and so on. Then the whole
lot stopped at our cell and the Chief Chasso opened up. You
could viddy who was the real important veck right away, very
tall and with blue glazzies and with real horrorshow platties
on him, the most lovely suit, brothers, I have ever viddied,
absolutely in the heighth of fashion. He just sort of looked
right through us poor plennies, saying, in a very beautiful real
educated goloss: "The Government cannot be concerned any
longer with outmoded penological theories. Cram criminals
together and see what happens. You get concentrated crimi-
nality, crime in the midst of punishment. Soon we may be
needing all our prison space for political offenders." I didn't
pony this at all, brothers, but after all he was not govoreeting
to me. Then he said: "Common criminals like this unsavoury
crowd" - (that meant me, brothers, as well as the others, who
were real prestoopnicks and treacherous with it) - "can best
be dealt with on a purely curative basis. Kill the criminal
reflex, that's all. Full implementation in a year's time. Pun-
ishment means nothing to them, you can see that. They enjoy
their so-called punishment. They start murdering each other."
And he turned his stern blue glazzies on me. So I said, bold:
"With respect, sir, I object very strongly to what you said
then. I am not a common criminal, sir, and I am not un-
savoury. The others may be unsavoury but I am not." The
Chief Chasso went all purple and creeched:
"You shut your bleeding hole, you. Don't you know who
this is?"
"All right, all right," said this big veck. Then he turned to the
Governor and said: "You can use him as a trail-blazer. He's
young, bold, vicious. Brodsky will deal with him tomorrow
and you can sit in and watch Brodsky. It works all right, don't
worry about that. This vicious young hoodlum will be trans-
formed out of all recognition."
And those hard slovos, brothers, were like the beginning of
my freedom.
3
That very same evening I was dragged down nice and gentle by
brutal tolchocking chassos to viddy the Governor in his holy
of holies holy office. The Governor looked very weary at me
and said: "I don't suppose you know who that was this morn-
ing, do you, 6655321?" And without waiting for me to say no
he said: "That was no less a personage than the Minister of the
Interior, the new Minister of the Interior and what they call a
very new broom. Well, these new ridiculous ideas have come
at last and orders are orders, though I may say to you in
confidence that I do not approve. I most emphatically do not
approve. An eye for an eye, I say. If someone hits you you hit
back, do you not? Why then should not the State, very
severely hit by you brutal hooligans, not hit back also? But the
new view is to say no. The new view is that we turn the bad
into the good. All of which seems to me grossly unjust. Hm?"
So I said, trying to be like respectful and accomodating:
"Sir." And then the Chief Chasso, who was standing all red
and burly behind the Governor's chair, creeched:
"Shut your filthy hole, you scum."
"All right, all right," said the like tired and fagged-out
Governor. "You, 6655321, are to be reformed. Tomorrow
you go to this man Brodsky. It is believed that you will be
able to leave State Custody in a little over a fortnight. In a
little over a fortnight you will be out again in the big free
world, no longer a number. I suppose," and he snorted a bit
here, "that prospect pleases you?" I said nothing so the Chief
Chasso creeched:
"Answer, you filthy young swine, when the Governor asks
you a question." So I said:
"Oh, yes, sir. Thank you very much, sir. I've done my best
here, really I have. I'm very grateful to all concerned."
"Don't be," like sighed the Governor. "This is not a reward.
This is far from being a reward. Now, there is a form here to
be signed. It says that you are wiling to have the residue of
your sentence commuted to submission to what is called
here, ridiculous expression, Reclamation Treatment. Will you