Star Wars Journal - Hero for Hire by Han Solo (6 page)

Ahhh, nuts. That’s beside the point.

What was the point, anyway? Oh, great escape number 22, but who’s counting? So, Luke and I might have had a hard time maneuvering in those Imperial get-ups, but it sure didn’t stop those troopers. They were on us the minute we headed for the ship. Those guys had me so worked up that I actually chased a whole pack of them down the corridor single-handedly, screaming like a demented Wookiee—

Chewbacca:
Vowraaark!

Han:
No offense, pal, but you joined me, which proves that you actually are a demented Wookiee. Ha, ha, ha, ha!!!

Excuse our laugh attack, Sai’da. Just a moment’s reprieve.

Well, our little wild foray after the stormtroopers gave Luke and Leia a chance to run for the
Falcon
. But the troopers suddenly figured out that a crazy man and a Wookiee weren’t much of a match for a squad of heavily armed goons. Guess who was on the run then?

Chewie and I took quite a tour of the Death Star, making our way back to the docking bay. We figured there was no point leading them right to the
Falcon
.

The first wrong turn led us somewhere we definitely didn’t belong. We were looking at enough spanking-new Imperial fighters to torment the entire galaxy. These guys knew how to run an Empire. Made my blood run cold just thinking what the Death Star could do. Chewbacca and I looked at each other and those ships, and I said, “If and when we reach the
Falcon
, we’re outta here—with or without company!”

But Chewie kept telling me that they’d be there. I tried to remind him that he was being awfully concerned about someone who had called him a walking carpet.

“What about Luke and Ben?” you might ask.

I mean, I’m not so sure I would have been able to leave them either, but I was willing to consider that solution.

We needed to get back to the docking bay, but at this point we were a little turned around. All right, we were lost. The Death Star is a maze. We made small forays down corridors that ended at locked doors. Things seemed unnaturally quiet after all the excitement we’d been through. It made us jumpy, hearing our footsteps echoing down hallway after hallway. I had to wonder, Where was everybody?

When we came to the next shut door Chewie was so frustrated he slammed his fist into it. Unbelievably, it opened. We looked at each other. Since no one was firing on us yet from the other side, we stepped in. What a trip! We were in the stormtroopers living quarters.

Chewie immediately throws me against the wall. But before I could protest, he points to a small camera attached to a metal arm extending from the far side of the ceiling. Just one—scanning the center of the room. The Imperials weren’t even taking a chance on their own boys. I bet one nasty word about the Empire and you’re jettisoned into space. It was a bad scene all the way around.

I said living quarters, but it was more like an insect colony. Shiny white beds were stacked ten high in rows covering a good portion of the room. Each bed had a monitor attached to it no bigger than my two fists. Every now and then some of them would flicker on and an announcement would be made. I wonder if those guys got any sleep what with the Empire keeping them informed all the time.

There was another door on the far side of the room, right below the camera. We slid along the walls, which were metal and cold to the touch, to the door. I put my hand on a place in the door that had a small indention, and the door opened. Looked like it was a storage area for all the stormtroopers’ gear. One of the tall, podlike lockers was open, and a familiar white suit hung inside.

Chewie and I were wondering what to do next when we heard someone enter the living quarters. There was nothing to hide behind. We just had to hope that no one needed anything inside. We had our blasters ready, but I was not wanting to call attention to myself in that no-exit environment.

We weren’t sure how many came in, but when they took off their helmets there were just two guys talking. It was an odd experience listening to them talk. I guess I thought they were going to have voices like droids and talk about the glories of the Empire or something. Instead, they were wondering when they got leave. One of them wanted to see his mother. The other guy just wanted a vacation someplace with trees.

It kind of flipped me out, to tell you the truth. I don’t like seeing myself in my enemies, you know? That was one scary realization. I mean, they were just talking about regular stuff. Like me and Chewie would do. Do you get what I’m saying?

Sai’da:
Yes. It would be easier if everyone were all good or all bad.

Han:
Something like that. Not that they weren’t the bad guys, because they were. I just wish they had been talking about evil instead of about their families and vacations. It would make life simpler, somehow. Still, once they’ve got their helmets on and are coming at you in swarms, I’m back to thinking of them as the insects of doom.

Anyway, we were listening to the troopers chatting and inching our way to the door. We didn’t want to be caught too far inside the storage area in case they decided to check it out. Chewie rubbed past this wall unit of some sort and sparks started flying. The Death Star is not made to have organic material around, I can tell you that much.

It got quiet in the other room. I was pretty sure we were about to have a little face-to-face with the troopers. But then an announcement blasted into the living quarters that two intruders were cornered near the loading dock! “Everyone report to section five.” That was not good news. Except for the fact that the troopers left in a hurry instead of investigating the noise Chewie instigated.

Chewie and I slinked out along the walls the same way we came in. We made our exit and had to decide: which gleaming corridor should we chose this time?

We were moving fast but stealth-like when we heard a strange hiss coming and turned into an alcove. Lucky us—we were just in time to see Darth Vader slither by. Now, I had heard tales of the Dark Lord over the years, but nothing prepared me for actually seeing him. I’ve seen some bad action in the galaxy, but this guy has everything beat. Have I mentioned that the Death Star was no place for a sane man? Well, this guy tipped the balance sheet. He was as evil as they get. I could see it. I could feel it. Catching his attention would not have been a smart move.

When we couldn’t hear the hiss of Vader anymore, we wasted no time heading back to the docking bay. I was finally getting oriented.

Still, we managed to pick up and lose a few more troopers on our way. I quickly forgot my insight into the inner lives of the stormtroopers when they opened fire on us. They weren’t like me. They were in the same ugly game as Darth Vader.

Vader might be the walking embodiment of evil, but even evil needs help. So every trooper we downed with our blasters, I thought of as another speck of evil eliminated.

We finally wrapped up our tour of the Death Star, and arrived back at the landing pad.

The
Falcon
was waiting for us, guarded by the ever-loyal boys in white. She’d never looked more beautiful to me.

Luke and Leia came running up behind us. I was glad to see them, too, of course, but I did wonder what took them so long.

We were all just staring at the
Falcon
, waiting to make a move. Have you noticed that advance planning is not our strong point?

Suddenly, the troopers noticed a commotion and moved away from my ship, giving us a shot at boarding her. We were hightailing it toward our one chance out of the Death Star when Luke spotted Ben. You’ll never guess what he was doing. Dueling with Darth Vader! What a sight that was, two guys who couldn’t be more different, Ben and Vader, fighting with their antique lightsabers.

Then it got even stranger…

The old man spotted Luke. Now, I didn’t see this so clearly, but Luke did, poor kid. And I trust him on this. Ben apparently just raised his lightsaber in front of his face, stood still, and let Vader take him out.

Had to be a sacrifice. It freaked the kid completely and he screamed, “Nooooo!”

That got the troopers’ attention. They started firing on him and the kid was so mad or stunned or something that he just stood there firing back. I was trying to cover him some, but it wasn’t easy. It’s never easy when firepower is coming your way, and don’t let anybody tell you different. I finally got the kid’s attention and shouted to him to blast the door shut. He did. That trapped Vader on the other side and kept more of the Imperial insects from joining the fray.

We had made our way over to the
Falcon
when Luke finally recovered enough to get himself into the ship. The droids were already inside. At least they know how to take care of themselves. I guess we all did. Because now we were back together and ready for the ultimate test.

Han:
This was it. The moment of truth. Did the old man get the tractor beam out of commission? The thought of making a grand exit only to be snared again wasn’t exactly appealing.

No problem. We were out of that docking bay and into free, glorious space faster than you could say, “Old man, you were one crazy antique, but you knew what you were doing.”

Well, not quite free space. We still had to earn that. The sentry ships had us spotted and those TIE fighters were moving in on us. It’s lucky you don’t have much time to think about it while it’s happening or you could get real depressed.

I was worried about the kid being able to help. He looked so stunned after watching the old man go down. But he came back fast. He’s a lost child, sometimes, Luke is, but he always manages to come through. He’s got guts and he learns quick. It’s a natural fighter’s skill. He took to the
Falcon’s
defense system quicker than an asteroid flash. Held his own, too. You should have heard him when he took down his first ship.

Well, aren’t I sounding like the proud papa?

Anyway, I didn’t do too bad either. Luke and I were swinging around in those gunner seats, honing in on the planes like we were playing Cockpit Daredevils back on Mos Eisley. There’s a game for you. Only the stakes were a little higher in this showdown.

We took care of those TIE fighters better than any ace right out of the Academy. Chewbacca and the princess were holding down things in the cockpit. Seems Chewie melted a little when the princess gave him a big hug. He immediately forgot the walking carpet comment.

Chewbacca:
Narowrrr!

Han:
Come on, buddy, I’m not making fun of you. The princess works her charms on all of us. You gotta watch that stuff, is all.

Anyway, we fixed the problem standing between us and hyperspace and made the jump. Man, that’s a great feeling to go reeling into hyperspace and know no Imperial goon is gonna be able to follow. Smooth. Easy.

Too easy, the princess informed us. She was sure they let us go, that being the only reason for our escape. Now that got me. Once again I’ve rescued her, and she’s saying it was too easy. That they were tracking us.

Ever notice how mad you get when you suspect someone is right and you don’t want them to be? She’s a smart number, that girl, and… hmmm…

Sai’da:
Are you tired again, Mr. Solo? Do you wish to rest?

Han:
No. I was just thinking.

Sai’da:
Please share your thoughts, if possible. I am not just interested in what happens to you, per se. I am curious about how you interpret events, how you develop bonds with your comrades. The changes in your emotional state are intriguing.

Han:
Intriguing, huh? You’re a piece of work, Sai’da, the way you talk. But I guess that’s one way of looking at it.

Actually, I was just thinking of the old man. I guess he knew all along it was his last mission. It sure was hard on the kid, though. I mean, Luke lost not only his Jedi mentor, but a father figure, too. He was pretty much alone in the galaxy now. He seemed even younger to me then. I had this impulse to take care of him, but I got a hold of it. ’Cause that was the
last
thing I needed, a kid brother to worry about.

I had enough worries. I had to deliver this group to the Rebel base on the fourth moon of Yavin in order to collect my money so I could pay off Jabba. You’re not a free man when you’ve got bounty hunters sniffing your trail. I tried to explain this to Leia, but she wasn’t hearing any of it.

It was about then I learned what the little droid was hiding—plans for the Death Star. All this time and I still didn’t know exactly what we were doing until Leia finally saw fit to inform me. Yeah, I never would have guessed Artoo was wanted by the entire Galactic Empire.

Up until then you’d have thought I was the enemy. And suddenly Leia was shocked that I wasn’t taking on her revolution or just dying to protect her until doomsday. She even seemed surprised that I actually wanted the reward I’d earned.

She said to me, “If money is all that you love, then that’s what you’ll receive.” Which is kind of a crummy way to put it, if you ask me. Of course I cared about the money!! That’s why I was hired in the first place!

Listen, I’m no wealthy prince. The easy life is not something I know anything about. Maybe money doesn’t matter to some people, but if you’re always scrambling to survive, it means something. Something big. Especially if, without it, Jabba the Hutt is going to end any chance you have of retirement.

Luke was enjoying the situation, I think. It made him look good. He started expressing how much he cared about things other than money. And Leia liked that attitude. You bet she did.

Those two were getting under my skin like nobody else ever had.

And Chewie didn’t help matters any. We had a heart-to-heart on the way to Yavin. He said he wanted to join forces with the Alliance and help save the galaxy. Can you believe this? He was sounding noble. Sounding more loyal to a couple of strangers than to me.

Chewbacca:
Aroaw!

Han:
I know, I know. I’d just never heard Chewbacca disagree with me before. He actually wanted me to forget about the money and help the Rebels. Forget about the money. Right. I told him that we had to save ourselves first. Not to mention the fact that fighting the Imperial forces, especially after seeing the Death Star, seemed like a job for a fool. I’m not real big on lost causes, mister, like you must be. You get a kick out of sitting here getting me to tell you my last stories before my time runs out? Yeah, you think I’m fascinating. Well, let me tell you, I’m no laboratory experiment. You understand?