Star Wars: The Old Republic: Fatal Alliance (59 page)

It
was the same question in different words, and Stantorrs didn't strike
Larin as a being who repeated himself very often.

"I
believe so, sir. Every installation on the planet was in flames. All
our troops had been evacuated. The mission had already cost the
Republic more resources than it could afford, and sticking around
would have squandered even more. Withdrawal was therefore the most
sensible action to take. "

The
Supreme Commander's hands came to rest facedown on the desk in front
of him.

"That's
good to hear, Moxla, because I'm thinking of promoting Pipalidi to
colonel over some pretty stiff opposition-the kind of people who
think we owe everything to the Jedi, if you can imagine-and it's good
to be backed up by the opinion of someone I can trust. I'm not wrong
in thinking that I can trust you, am I, Moxla?"

He
undoubtedly knew her history with the Blackstars, so there was no
point prevaricating now. "Sir, you can always trust me to speak
out if I think a superior officer isn't pulling her weight. "

"That's
what I thought. And that's exactly what I need. There's- what? Can't
he wait?"

Another
aide, this time whispering in the Supreme Commander's ear.

"All
right. " His hands rested impotently in his lap. "Well,
I'll make this brief, Moxla. The SSO's you fought with on Sebaddon-a
messy bunch, but showed a lot of guts. We're going to form a new
Special Forces squad around them, and we want you to be part of it.
We can't erase your record, but we can add a commendation or two,
post factum, to spruce it up a little, and change some of the
wording. You'll retain the rank you were given, brevetted of course,
and have the first pick of the troops. What do you say to that?"

Surprise
got the better of her tongue. "Uh, yes, sir. "

"You
don't sound particularly enthused, Lieutenant Moxla. "

It
didn't take her long to snap out of herself. Anything was better than
sitting around in Coruscant's underbelly, waiting for the ax to fall.
Either outright war with the Empire was going to break out any day,
or the Republic's ability to maintain the peace on its own worlds
would fail. This way, she would be right in the thick of it, where
she could maybe do some good. She would be working-and if she was
lucky, she might be able to bring some people she trusted absolutely
along with her. Ses Jopp, for one. She snapped to attention and
saluted with appropriate enthusiasm.

"You
couldn't have picked anyone better, " she said. "Give me a
month, and your squad will be as polished as your desk. "

"Don't
get me started on that, Moxla, " he said with a sudden rap of
his knuckles on the greel wood surface. "Nothing's as clean as
it looks. " Another aide approached, and the Supreme Commander
waved her away. "Get to it, Moxla. You have my absolute
confidence. "

Larin
saluted again and marched for the door. Aides parted before her,
watching with eyes that gave away nothing.

"How
did it go?" asked Ula, meeting her in the antechamber outside
and matching her pace for pace along the corridor.

"Very
well, considering, " she said. "Did you have anything to do
with that?"

"Unlikely,
" he said. "I've been shifted to a portfolio in data
collection. "

So
he wasn't being modest this time. "I'm sorry, Ula. "

"No,
it's okay. I found my last job a little too... stimulating. "

He
smiled, and she found herself smiling along. Ula-still acting as
envoy then-had looked out for her on returning to Coruscant, greasing
the path to the Supreme Commander's attention by making sure officers
senior to her didn't dismiss her out of hand, or take credit for her
actions. Captain Pipalidi might have played a role in that, as well.
That the captain was being promoted suggested she had Stantorrs's ear
on many things to do with Sebaddon, and Larin had certainly helped
the whole affair from becoming a complete rout.

"What
are you doing now?" Ula asked her.

She
didn't answer immediately, remembering how Ula had cleaned up her
wounded hand on the Auriga Fire, and how pleased he'd been to see her
when the shuttle had collected them from the burning world. She
flexed her new fingers-a proper prosthetic at last, surgically
grafted to her, indistinguishable from a real hand-and wondered who
would look after him in his new role.

"I
have to meet someone right now, " she said, "and then it
looks like I'll be on the move for a while. But I'd like to catch up
with you when I get back. "

His
smile grew wider. "I can wait. "

"That's
assuming you'll still be around, of course. "

"The
chances of me going anywhere are very slim, now. "

"Great.
We can drink Reactor Cores and talk about old times. "

"I'm
sure we'll have lots more to talk about by then. "

"What,
the birth and death statistics of Sector Four?"

"Just
for starters. "

At
the exit to the building, they stopped and looked at each other. Was
it her imagination, or did he look younger, lighter, than he had
before? It was probably the smile, she decided. She wanted him to
stay that way when she was around.

She
reached out and took his left hand in hers. Her artificial fingers
squeezed lightly. When she walked away, she knew he was watching her,
all the way down the steps to the plaza below.

*
* *

Shigar
was waiting for her at the Cenotaph of the Innocents, pacing back and
forth in front of the first bank of asaari trees. The troubled cast
to his brow perfectly matched the heavy gray skies above. He was back
in Jedi browns, with a new lightsaber swinging at his hip, but he
seemed a completely different person from the one she had met in the
old districts not so very long ago. He moved stiffly, still favoring
a wound in his side. His hair, cut shorter by Darth Chratis on
Sebaddon, hung limply around his face. Watching him, Larin almost
regretted coming.

He
glanced up as she approached. The blue clan markings on his cheeks
looked faded and worn.

"You're
still in uniform. That's a good sign. "

"Did
you think they'd strip me naked and throw me onto the street?"
She came to a halt in front of him.

"And
now you're smiling. Things must have gone well. "

"They
did. "

"I'm
pleased, Larin. "

"Well,
likewise. Hello, by the way. "

"Hello.
Let's go over here. "

He
led her to a stand of trees planted as a memorial to the people who
had died during the Empire's sacking of the Jedi Temple. One sapling
for each victim had grown into a small forest, with grottoes and
benches for people to pass a moment in contemplation. They sat side
by side, close but not touching, and it seemed for a long while that
Shigar wasn't going to say anything at all. The restless branches
rustled above them, moving back and forth in ways that had nothing at
all to do with the wind.

"I
want to ask you something, " he finally said.

"And
I want to tell you something, so we're even. Do you want to go
first?"

"Not
particularly, but I will if you want me to. "

"Fire
away. "

"Did
I do the right thing, bringing you along with me?"

That
surprised her. She had been afraid that he was about to reveal that
he had changed his mind and wanted to revisit the possibility of
romance between them. If he had said that, she would have been forced
to find words to explain the way she had felt on that front, and she
doubted any such words existed. She knew exactly where those feelings
had come from, but she hadn't quite worked out what they were now.
And then there was Ula, whom she definitely intended to look up when
she got back.

"I
guess, " she said, "it depends on what you mean by
'right.'"

He
grimaced. "That doesn't really help. "

"Well,
let me tell you what I was going to say, and maybe that will help.
It's this: Thank you. "

"For
what?"

"Just
thanks. "

"Why?"

She
rolled her eyes. "You're going to make me explain it, aren't
you?"

"If
it's not too much trouble. " He managed a twitch of his lips
that might have been a smile.

"It's
pretty simple, really. You came across me when things were the
darkest they had ever been. I had no security, no family, no purpose-
no life, really. You offered me all of those things. Relatively
speaking, of course. I'd never come up against anything like the
hexes before, and I'd always prided myself on keeping most of my
limbs intact. But the essentials were there. We had the mission; we
had roles to play. And I had you. "

She
raised a hand to stop him talking over her. "I know I didn't
have you, in any possessive sense, but you represented more to me
than just some guy I'd bumped into. You're Kiffar like me, and there
aren't many of us out there now, so that made you family. And you had
my back when things got tough, so that made you-made you like my
squad, I guess. You were everything I'd been missing, without ever
being able to say so. "

"I'm
flattered, " he said.

"Don't
be, " she said. "It wasn't really anything to do with you.
Any other handsome, well-armed Kiffar would have fit the bill. "
She smiled to take the sting off her words, and he smiled in return.

"I'm
glad, " he said. "That makes me feel like I did do the
right thing. "

"Well,
think that now, but the day I'm in the Empire's sights and out of
ammo, know that you'll be the first I blame. At least I'll have a
proper squad with me then, so that's one box ticked. "

She
was surprised by a sudden upwelling of emotion. She really was
grateful, but she didn't know how to convey it, except with a joke.

"Were
you seriously thinking I wished I'd never come? Don't you remember
how I used to smell?"

"It
still gives me nightmares. "

"Besides,
I reckon you have a lot more to worry about now. "

He
sobered. "What do you mean?"

"Well,
the fact you're wondering about what you did tells me you've entered
a whole new world of uncertainty. Doing the right thing isn't so easy
in the real world, is it?"

He
studied the grass at their feet. "No. "

"So
you learn that lesson, which means you'll probably become a proper
Jedi Knight now, but in the process you come to the shocking
realization that nothing will ever be black and white again. It's all
gray. "

"Not
all of it, " he said. "There's still some black. "

"But
white is hard to find, right?" She put her prosthetic hand on
his shoulder. "You're a warrior now. Eventually you only see in
two colors: black and red. Best get used to that, if you're going to
stay on the front line. "

"Do
I have a choice?"

"Sure
you do. With the life you've had, you've always had a choice. "

"Do
you still think I've had it easy?"

"No,
my friend. No. " The flash of anger in his deep green eyes had
come too quickly. She worried about that. But she knew she'd said
enough. It wasn't her job to bang his head into shape. "Everyone
knows Clan Konshi got a raw deal when it came to looks. "

That
put the anger back in its place, where it could simmer until it found
another outlet. She pitied the next person who met him on the wrong
end of his lightsaber.

"I
should go, " he said. "The Council must surely be finished
deliberating by now. "

"That's
life in wartime, " she said. "A whole lot of waiting around
between bouts of being shot at. "

"Don't
forget to duck, Larin. "

They
stood and faced each other.

"Don't
you forget to keep looking for the white, " she said, putting
her arms around him and giving him a quick squeeze. "It's out
there somewhere. You just have to find it. "