Statistic (4 page)

I check my appearance one last time in the rear view mirror, grab my Coach bag, and open the door without looking. I feel horrible when I hear it collide with someone.

“Ow!” his voice echoes between the cars and the building a few feet away.

“Oh my gosh! I am sooo sorry!” I look up to see Brent smiling back at me and I am completely freakin' embarrassed. I can't believe I just did that!

“Well, you are great at first impressions, Aurora,” he lets out a laugh as a genuine smile spreads across his face. Wouldn’t it be my luck that our date would start out by me basically assaulting this guy? Maybe I am not ready to be dating after all.

“I am so sorry. I can’t believe I just did that! I wasn’t paying attention.” I ramble on looking for a series of excuses to explain why I was in such a fog. But I stop before I give away exactly how nervous I actually am. But if he is any good at reading people, I’m sure he can already see it.

“Relax, love.” Brent says, and just smiles down at me. He is tall, much taller in person than I thought he would be. And my god, his smile is even more gorgeous. As we stand there with our eyes locked for what seems like forever, all the nerves that have been eating away at me for the entire car ride completely disappear. The level of comfort we have built in the past few days is back.

“Hi,” he says quietly.

“Hi,” I reply back, still not breaking our eye contact.

“Can I hug you?” he asks, and I can’t help but let out a laugh. My smile widens so much, it literally is starting to hurt my face, but I don’t care because it is such a nice feeling. A feeling that has been so distant from me for so long.

“Yes…” I whisper in reply as his arms wrap around my body and pull me close. His arms are strong around my petite frame and as my body presses to his chest I can feel every last hint of the muscles I saw in so many of his pictures. I let out a sigh, but don’t realize exactly what I did until he laughs and slowly begins to pull away from me.

“What’s so funny?” I ask him, looking up into his gorgeous blue eyes again.

“That little sigh. You comfortable now?” he jokes.

“Yeah. Somethin’ like that.”

Dinner went by in a flash of easy conversation, jokes, and the best chicken parmesan I’ve had in probably my entire life. Everything with Brent was so easy, no confusion or complications. We were two adults, single parents at that who seemed to be on the same page about most of everything in life.

If there was one thing I was sure of, it was the fact that I would walk away with a very good friend from this meeting, because the possibility of romance between us was quickly becoming a bleak option. Yes, we hit it off. But there has to be that spark. That attraction. That want and need to basically jump across the table at dinner. With Brent, it just wasn’t there. Of course I wasn’t going to push him away or tell him this. I mean, maybe I was just reading my signals all wrong. Who knows?

As the evening came to an end, instead of going our separate ways and driving home, we opted to share a walk around the small waterway that the small restaurant sat mere feet from. The stars were bright in the sky, and the moon was full. The street lights didn’t need to guide us because nature provided all the illumination we needed. As we walked in the direction of the water bank, Brent laced his fingers in between mine. It felt like, but again I couldn’t help but note, that the spark I so badly wanted to be there was just missing.

“I had a really good time tonight. I would love to do this again.” Brent said as he paused our steps, slowly beginning to turn his body toward mine. I knew what this meant and I was ready for the move he was going to make.

“I had a really great time too, Brent.” As my green eyes locked with his, he slowly leaned in to kiss me. Our bodies moved on their own, dropping the other’s hand while looking for another body part to grasp. My arms wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer as his soft lips pressed to mine. A simple kiss slowly morphed into something else as we both lost ourselves in the other. I may not have realized it then, but my body was a traitor. There may not have been this amazing chemistry between the two of us, but God it had been so long since I felt wanted.

My lips parted, welcoming his entry into my mouth. He gently accepted the invitation by running his tongue across my bottom lip before continuing our kiss. Time stood still as we made out like teenagers on the bank of the river. His hands politely roaming into the areas I would allow, but only coming to a stop on my ass.

We slowly pulled our bodies apart, only to lock eyes and watch each other waiting for the first with enough courage to mutter a word of reaction.

“Wow,” Brent said. “That was… it’s been a long time.” he smiled. “Can I tell you something, Aurora?” His question takes me off guard, but I nod in reply. Because composing actual words right now is just too damn hard.

“You are the first woman I have kissed since Beth.” My heart hammers against my chest. Not with lust or with love, but with heartache, because he just shared that I am the only woman he has felt comfortable enough to be somewhat intimate with since his late wife. I don’t want to freak out here in front of him because that would be wrong of me. I don’t want him to feel bad, and there is no way I would actually hurt this man on purpose.

“Brent…” I begin, but pause because I really have no idea what the right words for this situation should be. “This is nice, but it is getting late.” It is honest and I know Miss Pam is going to want to head home shortly, and I still have a half hour drive home.

He looks down at his watch and notices the time.

“Oh, Jesus. I had no idea it was after ten already. My babysitter has to be home at ten thirty!” We both let out a laugh as we lock hands once again and make our way up the path that leads back to the restaurant parking lot.

We quickly say our goodnights with nothing more than a peck of a kiss and go our separate ways.

I am not sure what will come of us, but I am saddened that the possibility of a real romance is lost.

“Liam! PLEASE! Go to bed.” This kid has no sense of time and I am beyond exhausted. If I let him, he would bounce off the walls until he dropped like a fly somewhere around midnight. Unfortunately for me, he would never get out of bed in the morning for school either, leaving me completely screwed for work. Work which has been insanely busy the past two weeks and leaving me with no extra time.

My phone buzzes and I am reminded of a skype date I have tonight. First came Brent, who I still talk to on a daily basis. We both kind of agreed that our kiss was like kissing a cousin or something. And I was beyond relieved that he felt the same way. His friendship means the world to me and I honestly don’t know what I would do without him in my life now.

Strapping bachelor #3 in the past month alone. #1 lived at home with his mother and failed to mention that to me until the fourth date. Which also became the last date. But I should have realized that something was up when I continued to pay the tab every time we went out. #2 had a strange obsession with feet that made me completely jump ship after the first date. Thankfully #3 seems to have his shit together. At least from what he has told me. But, we all know how that goes, right?

Not only that but I actually contacted him instead of him seeking me out. I would be a liar if I said he wasn’t sexy. That is the entire reason I actually messaged him to begin with. Attraction is a must. Yes, of course we need to have things in common. There needs to be that level of interest in each other, but as this whole dating thing is playing out, my need for sexual attraction is increasing.

If nothing else, he is sexy enough to scratch this itch I have had since Colin decided to let his dick roam. Most twenty-six year old women have a number of notches on their bed post. Me? I have one. The one I fell in love with in high school. The one I gave my virginity. The one I married. One. That number constantly haunts me and pisses me off. I gave him so much of me and he just threw it away; threw our whole life together away.

If I had to hear about my girlfriend’s sexual conquests anymore, I would blow a damn gasket. Kim couldn't keep a guy hooked for more than just sex. Callie got her fair share of one night stands in before she met Mr. Perfect and then there's Jill. I don't think she will ever settle down by choice, but the men she parades around would make any grown woman cry. Hot damn.

“Mommy, what's a bagina?” Liam's question snaps me from my musings of sexy men. Did I just hear him right?

“What did you say, Liam?” I am trying not to smile. I shouldn't laugh at this. Laughing during this conversation just increases my number on the bad parent-o-meter. It is already high enough.

“What is a bagina? Brantley at school said his mommy has a bagina. Do you have a bagina too?” Fuck. My. Life. Don't laugh. Don't laugh. Don't laugh.

“Yes, Liam. Mommy has a vagina. All mommies have them.” Try not to smile, Aurora. Try not to smile.

“Can I see your bagina, Mommy?” And cue my hysterics because I just can't hold it back anymore. I lose it. I can't help but let out the laughter I have desperately been trying to hold back. And God it feels good to get out.

“No, Liam. You cannot see my vagina. Or anyone else's. Vaginas are only for adults.” I try to keep a straight face when I say it, but I just can't pull it off. I am officially a child myself. I don't even know how I pull this motherhood stuff off. It was so much easier when Colin was around. So much easier dividing the parenting duties. Fuck him and his harem of whores for putting me in this position.

“Daddy is right, you ruin all the fun.” I let out a sigh and try to ignore the dig. Colin's best weapon against me has become my four year old who will repeat virtually anything. One fucking weekend a month he decides to be a parent and my kid comes back spouting off all this bullshit. I shouldn't be mad because I should have known this is exactly what our divorce would come to.

“Liam, now you know that isn't appropriate. Now go get in bed. Please.” He skips out of the room singing the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse theme as he makes his way to the Captain America themed bedroom I decorated at his command. Anything to make the split easier on him was my motto. It was bad enough we had to move.

My forehead presses against the bathroom mirror and I let out another long sigh. If Colin doesn't cut this bullshit, I will drag his ass right back to court. Everything was fine until he caught wind I was dating again. One of his co-workers came across my dating profile and of course it only took a matter of minutes for it to turn into World War Three. He can do whatever he wants, but apparently I need his permission to move on.

I pick up my phone and type out a short but vile text.

Stop feeding Liam bullshit. Don't think I won't cancel your visits. Try Me.

I hate being a bitch. I really do. But, it is better off for him in the long run. I hate it that he thinks he can walk all over me. I am not the Aurora he married. I am new and improved. Take no bullshit from men. Well, at least that is what I keep telling myself anyway.

I look in the mirror and examine all the changes
he
has caused. My typically short blonde hair is now long with a strawberry tint, cascading down my back. My once bright green eyes are clouded, the darkest they have ever been. He sucked the life out of me and now it is my turn to bring my soul back to life.

I grab my laptop and head for bed. Fifteen minutes till I meet Wesley on Skype and for once I don't look completely haggard by the end of the day. I peek in Liam's room and he is already fast asleep. I pull the plush blanket up, tuck him in and kiss his forehead. This boy is my life. I don't even know where I would be today if it wasn't for him.

Letting out a deep breath, I plop down into a sea of decorative pillows on my bed just as my Skype connection starts to ring and Wesley's face appears. God he is gorgeous.

“Wow, you are way more beautiful than in your pictures on Fish in the Sea,” he starts the conversation. His smile is genuine and I can tell because even his green eyes are smiling at me through the computer screen. This is the first time I had ever skyped with someone The whole web cam thing was kind of a put off to me; something that seemed immature, but it was convenient for testing the waters with Wesley. I wasn’t comfortable enough to meet him yet, even if he only lived on the other side of my small town.