Stay (15 page)

Going through the motions, I slid into the tub, the water turning pink from the blood as it rinsed clean from my body.

Giano was dead. My mind raced, and my heart beat so loudly inside my head I thought my eardrums would explode.

Giano was dead.

I was a black widow. Everything I touched died: Papa Valencia, Father, Mama, and now Giano—all dead and all touched by me.

The rest of the day was a blur as Alanzo handled one thing after another. He kept me in Giano’s room where I let myself drown in his scent while he worked hard to dispose of the body, rip up my carpet, and clean every square inch of my room. Tirelessly, he worked to help set me up for a life all on my own.

Epilogue One

Fallyn Nicola Valencia

One Year Later

Name.

The letters on the paper mocked me. Was I really going to do this? Yes, I was.

Fallyn Nicola Valencia.

Giano had prepared for everything. In my hands, I had my birth certificate, social security number, and all the falsified documents to say I was sent away to school by my parents for the last eight years to explain my absence from the United States. Then I held an onion to my eyes to make them watery and puffy before I entered the Division of Motor Vehicles to get my New Jersey state driver’s license.

I had taken the time I needed to grieve. Then I had settled his final affairs along with some of my own. Today was my birthday and my rebirth day. Today, the world would soon have a paper trail for Fallyn Valencia once again. Today, I would become a target in a dark man’s criminal world just by being born who I was.

Bring. It. On.

Castillo had no idea what I had in store for him.

With the help of Alanzo and a few of his friends, the lady at the DMV helped me sort through the paperwork to get a new license after we had gone to the courthouse to overturn my death certificate since I was indeed alive. This process had taken a few weeks, but here I sat, ready to take back my life.

Fallyn Nicola Valencia.

I passed the test; of course I did. Angelina had been driving since before Fallyn was legal to drive. Identification in hand, I walked out with my head held high. Hopping in my car, I looked over to the passenger seat where the sunflowers sat, ready for my next stop.

It took about two hours to get where I was going, and all the while, my mind raced, questioning if I was completely insane to go through with this. The cemetery was a little overgrown but nothing major or creepy about it. With my bag and flowers in hand, I moved through the tombstones until I found what I was looking for.

I squatted down to pull the weeds from around the cement structure as my fingers traced the letters to her name.

Nylene Diamante.

“My mother, you were not. My angel, you were. Nylene, the innocence you gave to Giano, the vows you took and kept, made him have the heart to save me. He wasn’t a cold-blooded killer, but rather a man with a job. He didn’t need to save me. No one would have cared that I was gone. No one did care that I have been gone this long. His connection to you allowed him to see beyond his vengeance into the heart of a fragile, little girl.
You
were the angel.”

One by one, my fingers ran through the grooves of her name. When I came to the end, I put my sunflower arrangement in the vase at the base and sat down in front of the plaque. Pulling out the small trowel and hand shovel, I dug out two small patches of grass.

Reaching into my pockets, I pulled out the two metal engravings I had brought and set them into the freshly opened topsoil.

Angelina Diamante.

“My dearest friend, you saved me. Your mother saved me. The angel inside you called out to give me a safe haven in a world full of darkness, secrets, and dangers. Every moment of every day, you have been with me. You are as much me as I am you. Today, I am giving you back yourself. Your grave has a marker. You are a secret no more,” I whispered to the air around me. Tracing the letters of the smooth metal that was a contrast to the rough patches in the concrete of her mother’s headstone.

I sighed as I touched the metal of the other name plate. “My Giano, my only lover by choice, my savior, and my greatest loss, you taught me how to live again, how to breathe, and you gave me the only safety I have ever had. Then you left me. You told me you would never deny me, but you didn’t stay.” I traced the letters of his name. “You gave me a new home, new name, and a new life.

“It took some time, but I understand now that I took things too far. Sometimes, we must find satisfaction in our place, not look for the next step. I pushed and you pulled. In the end, the tug of war we played was a dead end.” Tears filled my eyes. “The ones who took everything good from me will pay. As I bring you back to your family, I make this solemn vow: I will make them pay.”

Reaching into my bag, I pulled out the small, unremarkable urn then dug into the ground more and buried it.

The Diamante family was whole once again, while I was still shattered into a million pieces.

~~~~

Six Months Later

It took some time. More than that, it took a whole lot of looking over my shoulder. I did it, though. A decent payoff kept the news from spreading that Fallyn Nicola Valencia was alive, but it took a lot of money cushioning more than a few pockets. Giano had left me more than enough, though, and I intended to use it in any way necessary.

After two classes together for almost a full semester and becoming his study partner, Nicola had gone from shy, quiet girl, to Paul Castillo’s new interest. Sure, this required a forged transcript, a different name—Nicola Vincenzo—highlights in my hair, and green contacts, but I had pulled it off. Tonight, we had our first, official date.

Paul picked me up and took me to an upscale restaurant. I made sure to order a salad and put on my best act to be more like a normal girl.
Think like Mandy
, I told myself. After all, I had spent how many years pretending to be someone I wasn’t, so what was another new identity under the rug, anyway?

Afterward, we made our way back to his apartment. He was one groping man, and it annoyed me. I fought to keep my composure as he kissed me. The bile rose in my throat, and I wanted nothing more than to vomit all over his overpriced suit. I didn’t, though. I steeled my nerves, set my resolve, and stayed determined and focused on the task at hand.

Wearing a cardigan, I had strapped my knife inside the sleeve. Once inside, I let grabby hands get his feel. Using my hand, I stroked him through his dress pants, and his erection grew solid under my attentions. Pushing back, I bit my bottom lip while gripping him hard, smiling wickedly at him. While he focused on my face and his dirty mind, I slid the knife down and into place.

He bent to suck hard on my neck, and I slammed the knife into his gut and twisted and twisted again. He fell forward, hunching over me as I let his weight push the metal blade in deeper. Then I twisted again.

He pulled away to look at me, the jagged edge only shredding him further.

“Direct hit to your spleen.”

As he jumped back, I kept a firm grip on my handle, and the knife slid out, doing more damage on the exit than it had on the entrance. His hands came to his abdomen, and he looked down in shock at the blood. I struck again, and he hunched instinctively again, his weight allowing my plunge to go deeper. I twisted as I heard him gasp for air. I put my arm on his back and pushed him down on my blade as I again twisted.

“Element of surprise. You’re in shock and not thinking to react and fight back. Now your adrenaline is kicking in, causing you to bleed further. Your lung is punctured, and breathing is a chore. You see, Paul, Giancarlo was a man the Castillos should have been careful of. He was a smart and skilled man,” I hissed at him. “He taught me to let the blade do the work, and the weight provide the pressure. Sure, that was for apples, meats, and cheeses, but hey, it’s all the same, right?”

He jerked away, harshly ripping the knife from my hand. Gasping for breath, he stumbled back as I moved beyond him to exit the place. Once out front, I made the call to the only person I had left, and he got me by matter of circumstance.

“Uncle ZoZo, I need you,” I said then rattled off the address.

Waiting, I listened as Paul stumbled around his place. His cell phone was in my purse since I had swiped it at dinner. He didn’t have a home phone, so while he fumbled helplessly, I waited.

ZoZo arrived and only shook his head as he took over cleaning up my mess.

One down, one more to go. My father was already dead, so I couldn’t punish him for taking away Papa Valencia. Remo Castillo, however, could and would be punished. The first step was taking away his only son the same way he had taken away my only savior. Next, I would take back my family business before I took his life.

I wasn’t home long before Alanzo showed up as I expected him to.

“Angel,” he greeted, letting himself in.

“Fallyn,” I corrected.

“This isn’t what Giano would have wanted for you.”

“Well, he isn’t here to decide what I do anymore, now is he?”

“Vengeance does more harm than good. People get sloppy when they do things out of anger and hatred.”

I huffed at him. “Yeah, like Giano taking me instead of fulfilling his plan.”

“That’s not what I meant, and you know it. He asked me to look out for you. He knew a time would come when he would slip up with you. That’s how I knew about the papers in the safe that would give you back your identity. Within days of bringing you home, Giano was already putting into play what would happen when things got too deep.

“I’ll admit, I wasn’t expecting you to be naked when he said his good-byes, but I knew from the beginning, if you were in danger from him at any angle, he would take himself out. A good man sacrificed himself to continue to give good to you. Don’t let that all be for nothing.”

“It’s not,” I reassured.

“Settle down and find a man to treasure you. Let the past go and start anew. He wanted you to have a new life. Give him that in his death.”

A man to treasure me—
that’s what Giano had always said. In time, maybe I could find that, but until that day came, I had a plan, and it was one I fully intended to fulfill, with or without Alanzo.

Without a goal, there was nothing to achieve. With nothing to achieve, there was no drive. Giano had given me plenty of opportunities, but no goal. In his wake, I had a goal. I had a drive.

Some people were meant to be alone, and I had come to the realization I was one of those people. Seriously sick and twisted from the inside out, I didn’t deserve anyone for the long-term or the short-term. Giano shouldn’t have saved me that night. He should have let me stay.

I had come full circle once again. I knew this wouldn’t be over until I had covered myself in Remo Castillo’s mess.

Maybe then I would find a peace and maybe then I would find a place where I felt I could stay.

Epilogue Two

Angelina Nylene Diamante

Five Years Later

Funny how things changed. The internship paperwork sat in front of me, and once again, the first line caused me to pause.

Name.

It took time. More than that, it took not giving up, but continuing to exist. Alanzo helped me set up a new start on the West Coast. The small Oregon town was a short commute to the college and gave me the sense of security I once again found in solitude. With Giano dead and having had a public service, Alanzo felt that my move to the West would mean I would stay relatively safe. Giano’s enemies no longer needed me for leverage with him gone, and my desire to relocate only pushed me further off their radars.

With the aid of a long-time resident who happened to be a realtor, I had found a small, two bedroom cabin to purchase and begun my life once again. True to his word, Giano had made sure I was taken care of. Life insurance, stocks, bonds, and assets were all left to me. Once cashed in, I could afford to pay for my home, my education, my travel, and still allow myself a solid nest egg for the future.

No, I didn’t have to feel the financial struggle. I just had struggles of a whole different variety. How did one cope with having no one to hold on to?

After Giano had taken his life in front of me, my world had crumbled around me. The days passed by, and I wondered why I was still there.

Angelina Nylene Diamante.

The picture I loved so much of her behind the bubble called to me. The blurred face still seemed to speak to me. Her eyes were hidden behind the innocence of childhood behaviors. Everything she lost, I gained. How could I throw her gift away?

My eyes reminded him of Nylene. My face reminded him of Angelina. His angel. I was his angel, his gift from the ones he loved most. How could I toss that away when I should have had no existence beyond being my father’s play thing for his sick needs?

The road before me was still long, the end nowhere in sight. Studying psychology, I was hoping to understand myself and those who were once around me so that maybe, in the future, the past wouldn’t repeat itself. A girl could only hope.

In my studies, we had been told, for some people, love was a choice. We somehow choose whether to love someone or not. I didn’t know whether I agreed with that statement or not.

Scientists and doctors found great success in breaking down the chemical makeup of a human being. They wanted to fix our depression with a pill. Physicians all agreed exercise had an impact on one’s mental health. Getting the blood pumping and increased endorphins all aided in overall well-being. I didn’t know that I agreed with that analysis, either.

It had been my experience that, if you were drawn to someone, had a bond, those things weren’t done by choice, but rather by something bigger than all of us. I didn’t believe in faith, karma, destiny, or a connection of souls. What I had a firm foundation in was the touch of an angel. It was the angel of Nylene and Angelina Diamante that saved me all those years ago. I could believe in that. They didn’t fail me whenever everyone and everything else did.