Stay Forever (5 page)

Now they found themselves spending as much time together as possible.  That summer had seen both of them in bed with other people.  They had not confided this in each other; no conversation was ever had; yet each, silently in their hearts, had now promised to be loyal to the other.  The promise made that much more real as it was not spoken out loud, yet only inside their hearts.

They sat together at the restaurant in the beach, discussing visions for the year ahead, concepts for the parties, themes, and costumes.  Their ideas bounced off each other; fuelling the creativity, fine tuning the designs.

Selena leaned back in her chair, twiddling the pencil in her hand.

“So Ivan” she said.

“Shall we go to Italy for a week?”

“Why Italy?” asked Ivan.

“OK where?” replied Selena.

“Oh!  You mean a holiday?  I thought you were talking about work.  Like maybe we had to pick up some costumes or something.”

“No silly, I am talking romance!” Selena laughed. Ivan looked at her and smiled.

“Italy sounds lovely.” He replied and took her hand.

“I love you baby.” She said.

Chapter 7

When they got back to the Motel that evening there were messages that the biggest news channel was doing a report on the success of Select, and there was also a message that a very successful film director wanted to do a film about them.

“Wow baby.  This just keeps getting bigger and bigger.” Said Ivan as he looked over the messages.

As they curled up in bed together that evening, Ivan turned to Selena.

“It is a real concern baby.” He said. “If we do do this film, it means we are going to have to be away from the nightclub.  The director wants to film us on location, which is somewhere over in Alicante.  It means we won’t get many days at the club.  I don’t know if it is a good idea.

“Let’s think about it in the morning.” Said Selena, leaning over to switch out the light.

“Ok baby, you are the boss.” Said Ivan, and together they fell asleep in each other’s arms.

When they awoke the next morning they decided to stroll through the small streets and lanes of Mikanos, taking coffee and croissants in a little café near the bay.

The bougainvillea hung brightly displaying its vivid purple shades against the blue sky, and against the white wash buildings.  The soft winter breeze caressed their bodies as they strolled through the stone cobbled streets.

As they passed as music store Selena noticed a festival poster on the door.

“Oh look,” she said pointing at the poster. “Adam is playing in Italy.”

Ivan looked at the poster and suddenly felt a twinge of jealousy inside.  Feelings he had not felt since the summer, of possessiveness, fear and insecurity, began raging inside him.  He pulled his hand away from Selena’s and walked to the distance.  She walked after him, confused and in despair.

“Ivan” she called.  He stormed away, edging past people in the street.  She raced after him, and fell.  “Ivan!” she called, having stumbled in the road, now sitting on the floor.  He ignored her and raced ahead.

That evening Selena sat in their room at the Motel.  Ivan had disappeared earlier that day and she did not know where he had gone or why.

He had left her in the middle of the street as soon as had mentioned Adam’s name.

But why?  He couldn’t know what had happened between Selena and Adam.  As far as he knew Adam was just another DJ who had played for them.  And anyway if he did know, why had he not been angry with her before?

Questions swirled around in her head.  At that moment Ivan entered the room.

“Hey baby.” He said softly, coming inside and shutting the door.

“Hey, where did you go?” she asked. “I was worried about you.”

“I just needed a walk.” He said.

“Oh” she decided not to question it further.

Chapter 8

The next morning Selena got back from the supermarket.  Ivan was still asleep in bed.  She went to the bathroom, her heart beating fast.  She had been putting this off for weeks but she knew that she could not leave it any longer.  Her period had not come for over a month now.  She pulled the pregnancy test from the bag and slowly followed the procedures. 

“No, it can’t be.” She said looking at the result. She took another test from her bag and repeated the steps.

Shaking her head in disbelief she read the result again.  Pregnant.  She was god dam fucking pregnant.

“Holy fuck” she thought to herself.  At that moment Ivan entered the bathroom.  Rubbing his eyes sleepily he smiled at her.

“Hey baby” he said.  She stared at him blankly in disbelief.

“What you doing there?”

He looked at the tests in her hands.

“What is that?”

She hung her head down and passed him the tests.

“Baby” she said.

“I’m pregnant.”

BOOK III

SOUNDS LIKE FUN

Prologue

She sat across from him at the dinner table in one of the most fashionable New York restaurants trying to keep the tears from welling up in her eyes.

“But why?” her voice faltered, “I thought things were going well between us.”

Mike looked at her coldly, and she searched desperately for a glimmer of emotion in his eyes.

“Look, it just isn’t working for me” he said, avoiding her stare.

“Is there someone else?” she asked.

He paused.

“No, no it’s not that.”  He put his napkin on the table and called to the waiter for the bill.

“I better go.” He said once he had paid.

“Just like that?” she asked.

“Just like that.” He said, and stood up to leave.

And just like that her three years relationship with the man she loved ended.  And she felt heartbroken.

Chapter 1

Sunlight streamed in through the windows of Ambar’s New York apartment in Upper Manhattan.  She tried to shelter the light from her eyes and hide under the duvet yet it was resilient.  She got out of bed frustrated and slammed the shutters closed, climbing back into bed and hiding her face under the pillows.

Ambar had finally thought things were going well.  She had a successful job in a leading market research company, and she had thought she was about to settle down and get married.  She felt as if her whole world had fallen apart.  After Mike had told her it was over, she had walked back in the rain from the restaurant, and crawled into bed, not even taking off her wet clothes.  She didn’t want to face the world anymore; it was a dark and horrible untrusting place in her eyes now with nothing she could believe in.

Jess, her best friend had called her three times this morning.  Ambar had texted Jess last night with three words “He just left me.” though she had not wanted to answer any calls.

She tried desperately to fall back asleep even though it was almost midday.  She couldn’t. 

Walking over to the coffee machine, she took her mobile out of her jeans pocket and dialled Jess’s number.

“Babe” said Jess’s voice on the other end of the phone sympathetically. “What happened?” 

Ambar burst into tears.

“It was our anniversary in two weeks.” She sobbed.

“I thought we were about to get engaged.”

“I’m coming over.” Said Jess.

Ambar carried on sobbing and hung up the phone. 

Jess was a no nonsense businesswoman, having built up a property empire from scratch.  She went through men like knickers, and wore aftershave and very sexy hats.  She had been Ambar’s best friend since school, they had grown up together and their mother’s had been best friends to.  Though they were totally different.  Ambar was soft and romantic, liked to listen to classical music and believed in falling in love, having children and living happily ever after.  Jess on the other hand liked listening to punk rock and thought happily ever after was a fairytale, and the only way to enjoy life was to look out for yourself and fuck whom you wanted to fuck.  But they loved each other and respected each other’s views, both wondering if perhaps they were wrong and the other one was right.

It took Jess half an hour to reach Ambar’s house by cab.   Half an hour which Ambar had spent sobbing what seemed to be uncontrollable tears.

When she opened the door to let her best friend in and fell into her arms her best friend consoled her, reassuring her, telling her it was for the best, that he did not deserve her.

Ambar’s soft blonde curls fell lightly around her shoulders as she wiped the tears from her eyes.  Her innocent blue eyes were red and bloodshot, yet she was still stunningly beautiful.  Jess smiled at her gently.  Tall, and broad, with short blonde hair and sharp features, both women were very attractive in very different ways.  They both had slim, tanned bodies, yet Ambar was petite, and Jess was tall.  Ambar’s hair was long curly and feminine, and Jess’s hair was cut straight and short.

“Darling” said Jess.

Ambar looked at her, almost desperately.

“I was thinking on the way over here.  Let’s get out of New York.  Let’s go to Bocas del Toro.  There are more species of butterfly and exotic birds there than anywhere else in the world.  We can go there and study wildlife.”

Ambar looked at her as though she had completely lost her mind.

“Are you joking?” she said.

“Why not?” Jess replied.

Ambar looked at the ceiling.

“Go to Bocas del Toro and study wildlife?” she exclaimed incredulously.

“Yes” replied Jess unflinchingly.

“Fuck it.” Said Ambar.

“Let’s do it.”

“Ah my dear” said Jess.

“It is not that simple, we need to get accepted on the wildlife course first.  It begins in April, which is only three weeks away, and places are limited.  They only allow ten people on the course.”

“How do you know all this?” asked Ambar.

“I did research on my iphone in the cab on the way here.”

Ambar looked at her best friend as if she didn’t know whether she was dreaming, or what was going on.  This is why she loved Jess, because she always made her feel different, and even though she had known her all her life, she could always surprise her.

“Come on, let’s order in some Chinese and rent a movie.” Said Jess.

Ambar nodded weakly and when the Chinese food arrived the two girls curled up on the sofa to watch the Rolling Stones Crossfire Hurricane documentary.

“Oh my God!” squealed Jess. “How can Keith Richards possibly be so sexy and cool?!”

Ambar smiled, starting to feel better. 

Before the movie had ended Ambar had fallen asleep, curled into a little ball by her friends side.

Jess tucked her into bed and gently and quietly closed the door behind her as she left.

Chapter 2

That week Ambar had thrown herself into her work, in order to distract herself from the pain she felt every time a memory of Mike floated across her consciousness, which happened countless times a day.

She stood at the window of the 11
th
floor skyscraper looking over New York, the endless traffic in the street below.  She surveyed her desk and picked up the phone to call her secretary in the next room.

“I will need those research reports back in my office Tracy”

“The ones on 14-17 year old girls?” asked the secretary’s voice at the end of the line.

“Yes” she put the phone down and bit her lip pensively.

Moments later the phone rang again.

“Yes?” she asked

“Jess for you on line 1 – can you take it?” 

“Put her on.” Said Ambar.

“Darling.” She heard Jess’s voice on the other end of the phone say.

“Hi sweetheart, sorry I haven’t called, I have really been working hard”

“Oh shut up, you know I only want you to call me if you have something to say.  Drop the charity.” Jess said in her usual matter of fact tone.

“So anyway” she continued.

“I have some exciting news.”

“Tell me” said Ambar.

“Guess what?  We have been accepted on the course!  At the end of next week we will be in Bocas del Toro baby!  I have already booked the flights and made all the arrangements.  I found out this morning, I was going to tell you, but I didn’t want you to try and squeeze out of it, so I took care of all the details.  All non-refundable.”

Ambar felt a mixture of excitement and apprehension, and tried to think of an excuse, even though Jess had made it clear to her that that would not be an option.  It was not that Ambar did not want to go, she did.  She just felt scared at the moment.  The only thing she felt confident in was her work.