Staying Strong: 365 Days a Year (18 page)

Goal:
Start some kind of diary or journal or a place just for you to keep track of your life and your feelings.

December 3

You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.

—UNKNOWN

It’s the times we are tested in life when we really have the choice to rise to the occasion. When you do, you are all the better for taking on the challenge and letting yourself grow into the strongest character you can be.

Goal:
Don’t underestimate yourself when handed a tough situation. Be proud of your strength.

December 4

I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.

—MAYA ANGELOU

Every experience we go through is there to teach us, to humble us, and to help us grow. There’s no experience or person on this earth that should ever make us feel less. What happens in life will invariably change you—but don’t let it bring you down. If someone ever makes you feel less because you are learning or growing, then it is only a reflection of their dissatisfaction with themselves.

Goal:
Do not let anyone tell you how to feel.

December 5

The eyes are the window to the soul.

—WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE

One of my biggest pet peeves is when I see people talking to other people without looking at the other person in the eyes. We all have so much power when we speak from the heart, but if we don’t really look at them when we talk, we won’t be able to connect with them. It’s often in the eyes where we see how a person is really feeling—not in their words. Body language also speaks volumes, so it’s important to be aware of how you’re carrying yourself.

Goal:
Whomever you speak to, make sure you look them in the eyes and connect with them. They will respect you more, and you will respect yourself more.

December 6

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

—WINSTON CHURCHILL

Everyone is entitled to have their bad days—don’t take it personally. Having all the wisdom and advice in the world doesn’t mean we all won’t have the occasional bad day. If someone isn’t in the best mood and they’re short with you—it’s not your fault. Let them cool off. We all have days like that. Take a break and decompress. It’ll pass.

Goal:
If you’re having a bad day, unplug, and relax. Take some time for yourself.

December 7

I’m not perfect and I don’t have to be.

When I first realized this I felt an intense relief. This realization allowed me to actually become a better person. It gave me the strength to embrace my flaws and learn from my mistakes. The pressure melted away. I wouldn’t have been able to start examining my mistakes if I felt like I had to be perfect. Once I found out it was okay to be imperfect, everything changed for the better.

Goal:
Don’t criticize yourself for making mistakes—just be conscious not to make the same mistake twice.

December 8

I paint self-portraits because I am so often alone, because I am the person I know best.

—FRIDA KAHLO

All we can do is be authentic to who we really are, to honor the deepest and truest parts of ourselves. There have been so many moments in my life when the only thing that could truly comfort me was music. Knowing that I could sit alone in my room and create a song to express the way I felt brought me so much comfort. It helped me learn how to love my solitude. I encourage each and every one of you to find the same thing for yourself and nurture it every single day.

Goal:
Let the thing you love become your protector and your best friend.

December 9

Now I’m a warrior, I’ve got thicker skin, I’m a warrior, I’m stronger than I’ve ever been, And my armor is made of steel, you can’t get in, I’m a warrior and you can never hurt me again.

When I wrote these lyrics I had something specific in mind, but they can be applied to anyone who has ever had to go through something painful. This song and its message are so important to me because I meet so many who have dealt with all forms of traumas in their lives and feel ashamed or afraid to stand up for themselves. I wrote this song to inspire people of all ages to know that they are not alone and there is always help.

Whatever you are experiencing it
will
get better.

Goal:
We all have our battle wounds. The only way to protect yourself is to show people your strength by protecting and loving yourself.

December 10

Understand that just as it is complicated to make things simple, it is simple to make things complicated as well.

It’s normal for us to overanalyze and overcomplicate just about everything. We often lead complex lives where the solutions can seem out of reach. They say the simplest answer is usually correct, so when I get overwhelmed, I come back to this profound notion of simplicity. When in doubt, simplify the clutter of your mind.

Goal:
Imagine your problem is a messy knot and visualize yourself untying it.

December 11

Judging a person does not define who they are. It defines who you are.

—UNKNOWN

I have been through so much and done so many things I could easily be judged for. I would never want to judge anyone else for whatever paths they are on; it’s just not my place to criticize some- one else’s journey. Nor is it anyone else’s place to criticize my own.

Goal:
Don’t judge others. Think about how you’d want to be treated.

December 12

There are no strangers here; only friends you haven’t met yet.

—W. B. YEATS

We live in a global community, which expands more and more each day with the rapid advancements in social media. It’s so amazing to wake up to encouraging messages on Twitter and Facebook from my fans all over the world and realize that I have friends and supporters wherever I go. The amazing thing is that this is true for all of us. When we start to view the world as a friendly place that nurtures and supports us, the universe opens up to us and the possibilities are endless.

Goal:
Be open to making new friends today.

December 13

If things were easy to find, they wouldn’t be worth finding.

—
EXTREMELY LOUD AND INCREDIBLY CLOSE

I feel blessed that I’ve pretty much always known what I wanted to do with my life. But I know plenty of people who are still figuring out what that means to them. As long as you stay open and keep following your dreams—even if they feel underdeveloped—you will find that place within yourself.

Goal:
Are you doing what you’ve always wanted to do? If you’re not, there’s no time like the present—start this moment.

December 14

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

—OSCAR WILDE

Forgiveness can seem so hard, especially when you are really hurt by someone else. But when you forgive someone else, you’re being the bigger person. When you spend time obsessing over something someone has done to you, it becomes toxic to dwell on their wrongs when they’ve probably forgotten. Kill them with kindness. When you forgive someone else, you’re being the bigger person. When I was being bullied, my mom always told me to turn the other cheek. When I was old enough to understand that phrase, I was able act on it. And it helped me overcome my resentment.

Goal:
Forgive someone you’re upset with and let go of your resentment.

December 15

Patience is bitter but its fruit is sweet.

—JEAN-JACQUES ROUSSEAU

Having patience in life can be so hard, whether it’s with people in your life or if you want something in life badly but you’ve been waiting for it so long. Sometimes people have to wait years or even longer before they get what they’ve been working toward. Trust that things will come to you when they are meant to and know that when you have truly been patient the rewards will be better than you could have imagined.

Goal:
Be patient with those around you, your dreams, and above all—yourself.

December 16

Violence only leads to more violence. We must all be peaceful warriors.

Violence is an endless cycle. It’s so much easier to fight fire with fire but it’s futile, a useless venture. It takes so much more energy, thought, creativity, and courage to stand up and be willing to engage in a conversation with someone who doesn’t agree with you. You can still come to a place of tolerance and respect without agreeing. We all have to be willing to communicate and respect one another even when we disagree.

Goal:
Resist violence and demand respect and open communication. Be willing to see something a different way. Be willing to see the other person’s side.

December 17

You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger.

—BUDDHA

Anger and resentment are two of the most toxic emotions we can feel. There are always times when people infuriate us or hurt our feelings but we don’t confront it. Instead we just let these negative feelings grow wild within us. Before we know it, they have taken over us like vines crawling over every cell and organ in our body. We should never let someone else’s problems bring us down in the first place.

Goal:
When someone does something that upsets you, don’t hold a grudge; confront them and then do your best to put it behind you.

December 18

Take me by the hand, let’s compromise.

—THE FORMAT,
“
THE COMPROMISE
”

Relationships involve two people, which means that just your opinions and ideas aren’t enough for a relationship to work. You have to make room for the other person to express themselves as well. It doesn’t mean you have to agree on everything because you won’t and that’s fine. But if you can’t find a middle ground and a compromise then you will find yourself alone.

Goal:
Work together with friends, family, or coworkers to find compromises when you hit roadblocks.

December 19

Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.

—THEODORE ROOSEVELT

We all deserve respect and to know where we stand. But I have so many girlfriends who put up with guys who don’t treat them the way they deserve. These guys make promises they can’t deliver and are misleading about their real intentions. A friend of mine was dating a guy for over a month, and from the beginning she told him she really liked him and wanted a boyfriend, not just a casual hookup. But he never committed to her; he kept the lines so blurry. She kept saying that she believed she could change him, and convince him to love her if they spent a little more time together. Of course she never changed him. He showed his true colors right away but she ignored the signs because she hoped for more.

Goal:
When someone won’t or can’t commit to something, don’t force it. Accept it or walk away.

December 20

Let go and let God.

—ANONYMOUS

When you are struggling with something greater than yourself and all else fails, you just have to be willing to hand your problems over to something greater than yourself. Whether you believe in God, Allah, or the power of the universe, each of us has a higher power within and around us. Just realizing and accepting that you’re not in control of everything in this life is actually very liberating and can lead to powerful things.

Goal:
Think of those things you’re holding on to, breathe, and hand them over to your higher power.

December 21

Your phone doesn’t have the answer to your happiness—you do.

Each one of us spends so much time on our cell phones that they might as well be glued to our bodies. I’m not criticizing because I often have the same problem, but recently I have started resisting reaching for my phone. I find I’m using it as a distraction to ignore my thoughts when I should be embracing them.

Goal:
Put down your phone today. When you have the urge to play games or look at photos or old text messages, take a deep breath and find something or someone beautiful around you to admire.

December 22

Procrastination is like a credit card: it’s a lot of fun until you get the bill.

—CHRISTOPHER PARKER

Everyone knows that they’re not supposed to procrastinate but we all do it every now and again. The more things you put off, the more will build up and you will just feel out of control and stressed.

Goal:
Manage and prioritize your time and tasks.

December 23

Faith does not exist without doubt.

—UNKNOWN

I heard my pastor say this at a sermon and I was so moved by the message and beauty of this phrase. Every one of us has moments of doubt where we question why we’re here and whether or not we’re doing the right thing. It’s okay to question your journey because it means that you care and are thoughtful. If you didn’t have doubts then there wouldn’t be anything to have faith in.

Goal:
Acknowledge your doubts and do some deep thinking over why you feel that way.

December 24

Think abundantly and you will receive abundance.

Allow yourself to think about every single thing you want your life to be. If something comes into your head and you think it’s too much or that you can’t have it then allow that thought to float away as quickly as it came.

Goal:
Make a list of your wishes, resolutions, and hopes for next year.

December 25

Family gives us strength and builds our character.

Everything I have gone through I could not have done without the love, faith, and support of my family. Just being around them brings me joy and I forget about any problem or fear I have. They accept me with all of my flaws, and I accept them as well, no matter what.