Stereo (38 page)

So why did it feel like they did?

A microphone had been hanging lazily from Adam’s fingers and, after catching eyes with Shaun, it began teetering dangerously close to the tips of them, mere inches from falling to the ground.   His eyes scanned her, taking in every inch slowly and--just like that—the mic was suddenly clenched in a death grip as his eyes met hers once more.

She looked like pure sex.  He barely recognized her, but even still, right there in her eyes, right before him, was his sweet Shaun.  Or at least the ‘sweet Shaun’ that he’d concocted in his head for the last few months.  Had that Shaun ever been real?

Shaun tried to smile, but wasn’t sure if she succeeded.  “Hi. Hi?” she whispered.

Adam gripped the microphone tighter, so much so that his arm bent just so at the elbow, making his lean muscles scream out.  Without another word he continued toward the stage and didn’t look back.

Shaun took the first breath she had in minutes.

--

Twenty minutes later the lights had dimmed and the show had begun.  Strobe lights, theatric smoke and the beautiful music of The White Keys quickly set the ambiance.  The biggest names in modeling had breezed onto the runway looking dewy and perfect as usual, eliciting stares of admiration from every mere mortal they passed, but all Shaun could focus on was Adam.  The White Keys were halfway into their opening number and, though the woman in lingerie were meant to be the stars of the show that night, Shaun only had eyes for Adam.

When the first strings of their song, ‘Stereo’, wafted through the speakers Shaun felt her entire heart crash to the ground at her feet.  It was the song Adam had sang to her in Australia all those weeks ago.  The song he’d sang just moments before kissing her in front of an arena full of people.  Shaun realized, watching him in that moment, that it was the song he’d been singing the moment she realized that she was madly in love with him.  It was the song that had changed everything. 

From backstage she watched while he worked the runway like the consummate professional he was.  He looked and sounded beautiful and was keeping the crowd utterly entertained while giving the models beautiful music to stomp to.  His music was a true contribution and, as she watched him, Shaun felt herself swelling with pride.  Every wave of pride that hit her, however, seemed to be almost immediately followed with an equally strong wave of grief.  She missed him terribly.  She was dreadfully sorry and had no idea what to do to make him understand just how sorry she was.  Just how much she missed him.  How much she wanted him back.

She found herself smiling at the little dance moves he executed on stage every now and again.  He couldn’t dance, but somehow it worked and elevated the performance.

“Shaun!”

Shaun almost jumped out of her skin at the sound of her name being screamed with such urgency that it made her wonder just how long she had been completely zoned out staring at Adam.  She must have looked like a complete love sick psycho who was bordering on pathetic at how obsessed she still was with her ex-boyfriend.

“You’re next, you’re next, you’re next,” the stagehand sputtered, grabbing Shaun’s wrist and pushing her towards the stairs that led up to the stage.  Shaun allowed herself to be manhandled, all the while wondering how anyone could possibly make it through a single day being as stressed out as ninety percent of the people in this industry seemed to be every day.  It was just another reminder of how wrong this job was for her.  She simply wasn’t a model, but somehow, she seemed to be the only one who saw it.  The industry had been so accepting of her weird and eccentric nature, to the point of almost celebrating it.  Even most of the costumes they had lined up for her tonight, though still sexy, were a little more sugary than sultry, a little more sporty than sensual.  Shaun figured that even the modeling industry needed a proverbial underdog… And she was it.

“Okay Shaun, three, two, one… GO!”

Shaun climbed the stairs to the stage, took in the sight of the audience before her and The White Keys performing to her right.  With a deep breath she placed her hands on her hips and stepped out.

As she took her first few struts she summoned up the courage to look to her right and caught eyes with Noodle annihilating the bass guitar while tossing his long thick mane every which way.  A radiant smile lit up his face, and he nodded to Shaun in greeting.  Shaun immediately smiled as well, unable to help herself and threw up two rock signs just for him.  She immediately put her hands back on her hips when she realized that rock signs were probably the last thing she was expected to do during her short walk on this girly ass runway.  Blowing kisses, hair flips and even peace signs, okay.  Rock signs?  Not so much.  Even so, seeing the pleased look her acknowledgement elicited from Noodle made it all worth it.  Even Yoshi, who she felt had never warmed to her, gave her a quick nod of the head from where he pounded away on the drums.  As she passed them completely she also saw Jon, the guitarist, who she’d never properly known.  The look in his eyes as she passed him showed that he was just as aware of her as she was of him.

Shaun continued past the band and held her breath at the sight of Adam at the end of the runway, playfully following after the other models as he sang.  A wave of unreasonable jealousy hit her.  She had to remind herself that he was not hers.  Not anymore.  She also had to prepare herself for the very real possibility that Adam might ignore her completely and that she would deserve it.

The end of the runway was near and, as Adam turned to follow Adriana Lima back up to the top of the stage, he caught eyes with Shaun as she passed, freezing right where he stood.

Shaun breezed by him, continued to the end of the runway, posed, and turned back.

Adam had already made his way back to the top of the stage with the band and Shaun breathed a sigh of relief.  That hadn’t been so bad.  They hadn’t exactly been lovey-dovey or even overly friendly but they hadn’t been like two bitter exes, either.  She was sure that the audience was watching both of them closely since they hadn’t been seen together all month.  She was grateful that Adam hadn’t chosen this performance to give her the official ‘fuck you’ sendoff that she was sure she deserved.

She couldn’t help but look at him as she grew closer to the top of the runway and the backstage area. Against all her better judgment, she looked into his eyes, and smiled.

Even as several other models passed Adam, he couldn’t tear his eyes from Shaun.  He hadn’t been able to take his eyes off of her since the moment he’d seen her on that runway. As Shaun made her way closer to him his body followed her as she moved, screaming for him to do everything his mind was telling him not to.  As if to further betray him, his hand came up and covered his wildly beating heart, his eyes still on hers as the last strings of the song wafted through the speakers.

Shaun craned her neck to take one last look at him and summoned all her courage, smiled softly and mouthed, “Hi.”

Adam hesitated for a moment before finally mouthing, “Hi,” as well, but she had already disappeared backstage.

--

The fashion show was a great success and the after party was even crazier.   The penthouse suite at the W Hotel Los Angeles was wall to wall with the industry’s most important and elite people.  Shaun allowed Maxim to guide her in, her hold on his arm tightening ever so slightly as she realized that she was about to be brushing elbows with people that she’d been watching on a 32 inch TV since she was about twelve years old.  In the last month she’d been to her fair share of parties but nothing quite like this.  The biggest names in music, modeling and even movies all seemed to be in attendance that night. While she clearly did not belong, she still itched to become involved.

Getting to know Max backstage during the show and the limo ride over had proven him to be a very funny guy who was surprisingly easy to talk to.  Shaun hadn’t been aware that men of his stature could have so much personality.  He was naturally flanked with people the moment they stepped into the suite and, once again, Shaun was surprised at the amount of attention she got as well.

With all of the hugs, kisses, and congratulations that came at her from every angle she had to hold her head just a bit higher.  Max gave her a knowing smile as she was praised by people she never dreamed she’d even meet.

“Let’s sit.”  Maxim placed his hand on the small of Shaun’s back and let her to a large table in the middle of the suite that was already scattered with various beautifully dressed people.

Shaun took in the drinks strewn all across the table, wondering what kind of drink she was going to grab from the many servers walking around with trays full of beer, wine, champagne and cocktails.  As she took her seat next to Max on the couch her eyes widened in shock when, amongst the many drinks, handbags, and cigarette boxes scattered across the table there was also smatterings of a white powdery substance, flawlessly separated into razor sharp lines, side by side. Yet another thing that Shaun was familiar with only because she’d seen it in movies.

“Is that cocaine--” She turned to Maxim and did everything she could to hide her shock when she was met with a rolled up hundred dollar bill.  When had he had time to roll that in the two seconds they’d been sitting down?  Or had someone handed it to him?  Shaun stared at the bill silently.

“Do the honors beautiful,” Max said, giving her another one of his signature smiles.

Shaun looked around her.  Did no one else find it absolutely insane that the President of the company was offering her a line of cocaine?!  No one was even looking at them.  Clearly this was the norm, and she was officially the innocent, sheltered idiot that she’d always insisted she wasn’t.

This time being a sheltered idiot didn’t seem so bad.

--

Across the room Adam was pretending to listen to the girl who’d invited herself to the band’s unofficial table in the corner of the penthouse suite. The party was in full swing.  It was wall to wall people but Adam had naturally zeroed in on Shaun the moment she stepped into the room.  At first he’d found himself smiling as she was instantly surrounded by admirers, sure that she was coming apart at the seams inside even though she didn’t show it for even a second.  She’d kept her cool all the way up until Maxim had sat her down and offered her a hit of cocaine.  Then the old Shaun, the one that had been hidden away behind all of the clothes, hair, and makeup seemed to jump right out of her and in full force.

“Hey.”  The stunning brunette who been droning on and on nudged him. “Did you hear what I said?”

Adam hadn’t heard.  He felt his heart leap into his throat and he almost crossed the room to intervene and possibly punch Maxim clear in the face.  Just as he was about to set his glass of seltzer on the bar and, against all of his better judgment, make his way over, he saw Shaun hold her hand up and gracefully decline.  When Max insisted, holding out the rolled up bill just under her nose, Shaun visibly recoiled, leaning deep into the couch behind her and waving her hand a little more wildly, with a little more force.  Finally, Max gave up the fight with a shrug and finished off the last line himself.  Shaun watched him with what looked to be a mix of horror and curiosity.

Adam had been in this business long enough to know that it wouldn’t take long for that curiosity to become too much.  Almost everyone in this business eventually gave in to the lure of the high, and some never came back.

Adam watched as she excused herself and made her way out to the balcony, delicately cradling a glass of red wine as she stepped out into the cold night air.

He hesitated, thought the better of it, then stopped fighting himself… Everything inside of him… And made his way across the room.

--

Shaun turned when she heard the door to the balcony open, and her eyes went wide at the sight of Adam stepping out.  He had ditched the skinny jeans for a pair of skinny slacks, a white button down and an even skinnier black tie.

He took her breath away.  “Adam.”  She almost dropped her wine glass in her nervous stupor.

Adam lingered in front of the closed sliding door and took her in. The red lace mini dress with black corset detailing hugged every last curve of her body and left nothing to the imagination. Every so often she’d move and the garter that she hadn’t bothered to take off would peek out from under her dress.  The black strap sat perfectly against the back of her milky brown thighs and sent Adam’s senses into pure overdrive.

As his eyes travelled her body, he couldn’t take how unlike her all of this was.  She didn’t seem the tiniest bit uncomfortable in the kind of dress that would have made her blush a month ago.  The wine glass in her hand was damn near empty, and he was sure it wasn’t the first or last she planned to drink.

“How long do you plan on keeping up this farce?” he asked. 

She still had the same innocent, slightly unsure energy that he had come to adore in her, but it was clear that she had learned to control it.  It didn’t radiate off of her the way it once had. It now only showed its face in small, barely discernable waves, but it was still there.

Shaun was taken aback at his directness.  It was the first sentence he’d uttered to her since the moment he’d told her that he never wanted to see her again. It wasn’t the sentence that she’d imagined during the many nights Adam showed up in her dreams.  It was laced with anger and malice.  Perhaps Shaun deserved that from him.  She gripped the glass in her hand a little tighter before turning and looking back out at the city lights.