Still Into You (6 page)

“Yes. You had people captivated. Many had their own tears. They shared that moment with you. And did you hear them after you were done? They knew what an awesome performance that was and they let you know it.”

“I’ve never heard you say that you were proud of me before,” she commented, her voice full of disbelief.

He looked at her in surprise. “Really? I’ve always been proud of you!”

“Even when I’ve screwed up?”

“I may have been upset but I was always proud of you. I still loved you.”

Through the good and bad, he loved her and he loved her still. Why couldn’t she have remembered that instead of letting the loneliness and sadness overtake everything?

Releasing his hand, she placed her tea on the floor before sitting back up. She regarded his strong jaw, his honey eyes, and that bottom lip that she wanted to tug on with her teeth.

Yesterday they parted ways, but right now, it definitely didn’t feel like it. Right now, Mia didn’t want it to be the case. With her eyes locked on his mouth, she leaned into him, lightly placing her lips upon his in a slow, tender kiss.

She moved back, just slightly, her eyes searching his to see if he was upset that she kissed him. “I know we said goodbye yesterday . . .” she started.

“I know, but here’s the thing, Mia. I don’t think I can ever quit you.”

God, he’s killing my willpower with his words,
she thought, sitting back down. She reclined against him, resting her head on his shoulder. He slipped his arm around her, holding her close, making her feel safe. Her eyes fluttered shut when his warm lips found her forehead.

She should respond to what he’d said, but she had nothing. She didn’t want to leave him. She liked being like this. It was home, right where she belonged.

“Ethan?”

“Hmm?” he replied contently, his head resting against hers. She took a deep breath. Normally this wouldn’t be so hard, but things were in that weird, unknown phase and she didn’t know how to act.

“Would you come back with me tonight, because it, um . . .” she stuttered and turned in her seat to regard him, “it appears that I am not ready to say goodbye yet either.”

“Yes, Mia,” he replied, his golden eyes intent on her. She gently placed her lips on his and when he moved his mouth against hers, the need to be closer to him overwhelmed her. She had to feel his body against hers. Straddling his body, she loosely wrapped her arms around his neck, intensifying their kiss. When his tongue brushed against her lips, she opened them to him and moaned deep in her throat the instant their tongues met. His strong hands on her hips held her to him, showing her what this kiss did to him.

Mia wanted him. His hands all over her body. Hers on his. She wanted to feel him hard inside of her. Her hips rocking against him. His arching up to meet hers.

She pressed her breasts against his chest, her core sliding and grinding along his erection. Her need for him was so powerful, so raw, that she sort of forgot that she was in the green room full of people until she heard all the hoots and whistles coming from the other side of the room. With a little embarrassment, she chuckled against his lips while showing her bandmates her favorite middle finger salute.

“Ouch, Mia. That hurt! We were just cheering you on. We know that getting laid makes you happy,” Marty laughed from across the room.

Climbing off Ethan, she turned to face everyone. “To my bandmates, sometimes I wonder why I love you fuckers. Thank you for such an amazing show. To everyone else, thank you for coming and supporting us tonight. Now I am getting the hell out of here. See you all tomorrow.”

She turned to Ethan, holding out her hand for him. “Ready?”

He rose from the loveseat and enveloped her hand in his much larger one.

“I just have to get my bag and coat,” she informed him.

Hurrying into the dressing room, she grabbed her things and returned to the corridor to find him leaning against the wall. She wanted to slide her arms around his waist and rest her head against his strong chest and just listen to his heartbeat, letting it calm her like always.

Would he still provide that to her? What were they even doing going back to her room? Was this just sex? Or was it about love?

“I’m ready now,” she said, throwing on her coat. She knew what she wanted tonight—love. “Did you drive here?”

“Yeah.”

“Then I’ll go with you.”

Mia walked by his side as they made their way out of the arena. She couldn’t believe she was so nervous. They had been together for two years. But in this moment, it felt like their first time all over again.

Ethan pushed open the large, metal door and the cool air shocked her. She buttoned up her coat and stuffed her hands in her pockets. She worried that even though they still loved each other, doing this with him tonight might make for a bad situation. Because instead of being together at the end of this, they would still go their separate ways. Hopefully, for only a short amount of time. She was holding on to that. That thought kept her strong through all this, that at the end of her journey, Ethan would be there, waiting for her.

Her churning brain halted mid-thought. That was a lot to ask of him. To put his life on hold while she fixed hers. Was that even fair? Fuck, she didn’t know what to do.

He grabbed her hand, bringing her back to him. “Where are you staying?”

“My home away from home,” she joked. The smile he gave her appeared sad, but she couldn’t tell if it was because of the bad lighting or her guilt.

He opened the car door for her. She got in and closed it as he made his way to the driver’s side and entered.

“Ethan?”

“Yes, suga?” he said, starting the car. She reached over the center console and kissed him.

“You’re awfully quiet,” she observed, running her knuckles along his cheek.

“I am?” he said, his voice a little distant, like she was pulling him from his thoughts.

“Yeah,” she said with a nod.

What is going through that mind of yours, Ethan? Do I even want to know?
she mused.

“Oh,” he said thoughtfully. He placed his hand to her cheek. “Do you want me to talk or do you want me to take you to the hotel?”

“Hotel, please,” she said, sitting back down and buckling her seatbelt. “I’m cold.”

“I could warm you up,” he suggested.

“I know you can. And I would like that.”

He turned the heat on full blast and laughed. “There you go.”

She glared at him. She walked right into that one. “Not funny.”

“Oh, it was pretty funny,” he said, putting the car in drive and heading out of the parking lot.

The ride to the hotel was extremely short. He parked the car in the parking garage and they made the walk to the hotel lobby.

“Good evening, Miss Devereux,” the front desk clerk called out. Mia smiled over at her as they continued to the elevators. Ethan pressed the button and took her hand. As they rode the elevator up to her floor, she reminisced about them and this hotel. The last time she’d stayed here, they’d just met, the beginning of their relationship. This was where they made love for the first time. She started to fall in love with him in one of these rooms.

In her own thoughts, she entered her room, quickly kicking off her shoes and shedding her jacket, throwing it on the chair. In that moment, routine kicked in and she forgot that Ethan was with her. She continued taking off her clothes as she went into the bathroom, leaving him behind. Grabbing the sheer black nightgown with the ruffled high-low hem that she had worn last night, she slipped it over her head.

“I was really enjoying all the clothes being removed,” he remarked when she came back. She quickly glanced around, not believing what she had just done. She lifted her gaze to his eyes and found them dark with desire. Guess he really didn’t mind.

“Oh, really? Would you like me to take it off?”

“What do you think?” he said, the corner of his mouth curling up in a sexy half smile.

Closing the distance between them, she grabbed the hem of the nightgown and drew it back over her head, leaving her naked before him . . . vulnerable.

“So damn perfect,” he said wistfully, reaching out and lightly skimming his fingers down her stomach, sending small shivers throughout her body. She hadn’t been fully undressed before his eyes, his hands, since that day in December when they spent the day in a hotel near Chicago’s O’Hare airport. That was the last time they had been naked, touching each other, loving each other. Bare to each other.

“Are you leaving or are you going to stay awhile?” she asked, going for the sexy voice she knew he loved, trying desperately to keep the sadness out of it. She fingered the flap of his jacket, looking up at his handsome face.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he answered, removing his coat and tossing it on hers.

“I like that answer,” she replied as he continued removing his clothes until he stood gloriously naked before her, gorgeous and strong, his erection pointing right at her.

Mia wanted to kiss every inch of his magnificent body, starting with his mouth before working her way down to his cock. She could be patient when she wanted. Standing on her tip toes, she parted her lips and kissed him, feeling his cock jab against her belly. He surprised her when he bent down and lifted her in his arms, not breaking the kiss. She smiled, gazing up in his eyes, and wrapped her arms around him.

He carried her to the bed, gently placing her down. Looked like he was the impatient one tonight, she thought. His eyes moved over every inch of her body, caressing her with just his gaze.

“Ethan?” she asked hesitantly, wondering what captured his attention.

His eyes returned to her face, brimmed with passion and tenderness. She smiled sadly. They hadn’t even made love yet and it already felt so bittersweet. The love he had in his eyes filled her with such happiness, but at the same time, she felt so miserable. Nothing would change after this. She would still leave this wonderful man who loved her more than anyone ever had, more than she thought she ever deserved. But if she learned one thing in her life, it was that sometimes love was not enough. Look at her parents—her love for her father and her mother. It didn’t keep her mother from walking out of her life. It didn’t keep her dad from withdrawing and forgetting his love for his daughter.

The bed gave under Ethan’s weight, interrupting her thoughts. He knelt before her, a knowing smile on his face. He leaned down and placed his lips upon the skin of her calf. Her head fell to the side, overwhelmed at the love she felt, as well as all the damn hopelessness she just couldn’t shake. As she fought the tears, he kissed his way up her body.

Why did she have to leave him? Why was life so goddamn unfair? Why couldn’t she just love him and he love her? Why couldn’t it be that simple? Why did it feel like what happened in her childhood would overthrow her life to a point where she didn’t exist anymore?

Despite her emotional turmoil, her body responded to his knowing touch. He may have seemed impatient when he brought her to the bed, but she knew now he had no intention of hurrying. He took his time loving her and even let her turn the tables on him and let her explore him. She savored the way he tasted, just like she remembered, the way her lips glided over the hard muscle of his chest, his arms, his legs.

Ethan kept his gaze on her the entire time, heating her face from the intensity. As she worked her way back up his chest, the pain of their situation caught up with her. She inhaled his scent, knowing that this very well could be the last time she breathed in his comforting smell. With her lips above his stomach, her tears tried to make an appearance, but she fought hard, not wanting them to ruin this moment.

His hand pushed aside her fallen hair, tucking it behind her ear as he caressed her cheek and then her mouth. She kissed each finger as they slowly crossed her lips.

He rolled them over and stared down at her. Lowering his head, he lightly kissed each closed eye, causing a lone tear to slip down her cheek, puddling by her earlobe.

“Open your eyes, suga,” he beckoned her, situating himself between her legs. She felt him hard against her center, waiting, yet she kept her eyes shut.

“Look at me,” he ordered again before kissing her lips. Mia finally opened her eyes, focusing on his as he slowly entered her. She couldn’t help it—her eyelids slid closed at how good it felt to have him inside of her.

Ethan stopped moving and held her chin between his thumb and index finger. “No, keep them open. Look at me,” he repeated as he pushed himself all the way inside with one swift stroke.

“Ah, fuck,” she said on an exhale of breath, loving the way he filled her so completely, so perfectly.

“Listen to you,” he whispered as he rocked his hips against her. Wrapping her legs high on his waist, she raised her hips to meet his steady thrusts, whimpering as each stroke reminded her that he loved her.

I won’t forget, Ethan,
she thought, as they surrendered to the passion. Mia screamed out his name as he filled her. She clamped down on him, frantically holding him to her, not wanting to let go.

Don’t think about it. Just enjoy this,
she told herself, cradling his weight on her, his soft hair a perfect playground for her fingers. She groaned when he kissed her breast and rolled over, pulling her to his side.

“Ethan . . .” she started, still catching her breath. “That was . . .”

“Pretty fucking amazing. I know,” he finished, kissing her head. She chuckled against his chest because that was definitely a fact.

“Any chance of doing that again?”

“We’ll see,” he said with a sly grin, yanking up the blanket up over them. “Now go to sleep.”

“I don’t want to,” she pouted, absently running her fingers around his chest. He chuckled and turned on his side, his face even with hers. His smile grew as he raked his eyes over her.

“I love that pout,” he said, tracing her lips. “But I much rather you have a smile on that pretty face.”

Unconsciously, the corners of her mouth perked up. It never failed. He could always make her smile.

“And here it is,” he said, reaching over and kissing her once, and then again like it wasn’t enough.