Authors: S. Nelson
“I don’t want to deal with this right now, Mom. How about we discuss this some other time?”
I hear Drayden’s voice ring out as I round the corner, coming closer and closer to the one room which holds every fantasy imaginable. I stop outside the library, pertly listening to the voices within. Fortunately for me, the door is not closed all the way, so I can peer inside without giving it away that I’m eavesdropping on their personal conversation.
“Son, you can’t keep her hidden any longer. Frankly, I’m quite offended you haven’t told me about her sooner. Hell, I still wouldn’t know anything about her if it wasn’t for Eli.”
They’re discussing me. Does she want to meet me? Do I want to meet her?
I think I do.
If I can win her over, then maybe eventually, Drayden will follow. I’m not delusional enough to think we can live happily ever after or anything, but I would love a shot at a second chance. Not even being sure if that’s exactly what I want, I push my hopes aside and force myself back in the moment.
His gravelly voice brings me back to their conversation. “It wasn’t anything personal. I just wasn’t ready to make it public knowledge.”
“Make what public knowledge? The fact you’ve finally found someone?” There’s a short pause before she speaks again. “Why wouldn’t you want us to know, honey?”
“Because she’s pregnant, Mom. That’s why.” He’s pacing back and forth, holding on tightly to his glass of liquor as if it’s his saving grace.
Even without looking at his mother, I know he shocked the hell out of her. I’m sure it’s the last thing she expected him to say.
But if his mother is thrown for a loop, she recovers rather quickly. “What is wrong with you, Dray? You should be shouting from the roof tops that you’re going to be a daddy.” There’s a brief silence. “I don’t understand you anymore.”
“Well, you don’t have to understand me. You just have to let me figure all this out on my own. It’s complicated, Mom. Please, give me some time.”
Before she can respond to him, I push the door open and walk inside as if I own the place, pretending I don’t know anyone else is in there.
I stop short, looking pensively between the both of them. Because I catch him off-guard, he doesn’t have the same look of contempt he usually shoots my way. His main focus is dodging his mother right now and I take full advantage of it.
His mother is busy eyeing me up, as if I’m the lost treasure which has just been found after years and years of searching the deep blue ocean. But I guess I can’t blame her. The only thing she knows about me is I’m giving her son a child, a child which was never supposed to even be a thought.
“Sorry. I didn’t know you had company.”
I’m a pretty good liar.
“I’ll come back later.”
“Like hell you will.” She smiles as she approaches me, her arms spread wide as she draws me into a big, nurturing hug. I tense in her embrace. I don’t even remember the last time anyone hugged me, so I don’t know how to react. Sensing my discomfort, she releases me and takes a step back, glancing down at my protruding belly. “Essie, I presume.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Oh, please don’t call me ma’am,” she says. “Please, call me Vivian.” The woman in front of me screams elegance and refinement, yet there is a calming aura about her. She’s dressed in what I can only assume is casual for her: dark-grey dress pants with a cream silk top. Her hair is done to perfection, the blonde highlights only adding to her golden complexion. Her eyes are almost mirrors of her second-born, the blue color popping and making her that much more attractive.
I nod. I’m in unchartered territory and I’m not sure how to act or what to say. I glance over at Drayden, kind of waiting for his direction, but there is none. We just stare at each other, and it becomes clear he doesn’t know what to do, either.
The silence in the room is deafening.
“Well, I just came in to grab a book. I’ll be out of your way in a sec.” I’m directing the statement more toward him than her. I know he’s probably getting angry with my intrusion, so the faster I get out of his hair, the better. Even though I want to talk with his mother, this doesn’t seem like the right time or place.
But I guess she has other plans.
“Nonsense, honey.” She gestures toward the couch, inviting me to take a seat so we can chat. Again, I look over at Drayden for direction. He shrugs and makes a noise, giving in to his mother.
The next hour flies by. She’s asking me all about my life, most of which I have to sugar coat because I don’t think she can handle the truth. Damn, there are days
I
can’t handle the truth, and I’m the one living it.
Even though my interaction with Vivian is short, I can tell right away she’s a very nice woman. Very genuine. Which only leads me to one question.
What the hell happened to her son?
I leave the room only after expressing how tired I am and that I need to lie down. She promises to stop over again real soon to chat some more. I’m stunned to realize I’m being truthful when I tell her I look forward to it.
I never make eye contact with Drayden as I leave, enjoying my high too much to have him spoil it. But I make sure to linger outside the slightly-open door for a few minutes, ever the curious person. I want to know what she really thinks of me. For some reason, her acceptance is very important.
“I like her, honey,” his mother says before moving to sit back down on the couch.
“You would.” He brings the glass to his lips and gulps down the remaining liquid, tension rolling off his broad shoulders with the simple movement. His hair is disheveled, as if he had been running his fingers through it over and over again. He looks tired but at the same time, he looks like he’s relieved. But why would that be?
She laughs. “What does that mean?”
“It means you women stick together. Never mind the fact she’s giving you another grandchild.” His lips curve up in the corners, clearly playing to his mother.
“That she is. But it’s your child, as well, sweetheart. Why aren’t you more ecstatic?”
Drayden walks toward the bar and pours himself another drink, bracing his hands on the edge of the table for what is sure to come. “It’s complicated, Mom.”
“Life is complicated, Son. You just have to hold on and enjoy the ride.” Vivian is looking back over her shoulder at her son, clearly not finished with him yet.
“Are we done now? Can we please talk about something else?”
“Hell no. I want to talk about this some more. Come on, indulge your crazy mother.” She’s relentless, goading him to discuss the mystery woman who has fallen into her son’s life. Little does she know, it was well-planned on my part--well, some of it was, anyway. The rest played out into the hands of fate.
Or karma.
My bet is on karma.
“What else is there to talk about? You met her. You know she’s giving me a child. End of story.”
His choice of words is surprising to me.
You know she’s giving me a child.
Not ‘she’s knocked up with my kid’ or something crass like that. I know I’m focusing on the little things, but it takes me by surprise when I see any sign of civility in that man.
“Not ‘end of story’. Tell me how you met. How do you feel about her? About everything which has happened so far?”
Oh, no! Is he going to tell his mother the real story? Or is he going to divulge the watered-down version, leaving out a lot of the sordid details?
I’m praying for the latter.
Drayden joins his mother on the couch, reclining back with the glass tumbler fitted loosely in his hand. His body looks comfortable but there’s an obvious strain etched deep into the small lines of his face, as if he really isn’t sure how much more of his mother’s probing he can take tonight. His feet are extended and crossed at the ankles, elongating his muscular frame even more. While his one hand holds his liquid crutch, his other hand is running through his hair again, messing it up just enough to be enticing.
Just-been-fucked hair.
There is an ache starting to bloom again between my thighs and the more I watch him, the more it’s starting to grate on my nerves. My body is treacherous, betraying my brain. Most of the time, I can’t stand him or his infuriating mouth but it’s that same mouth keeping me up at night, dreaming of it roving all over my body.
If I’m being completely honest, the more I stay under his roof, the more my feelings for him are intensifying. I don’t know if it’s simply because we’re going to have a child together, which in turn is spurring hopes of belonging to an actual family. I know I’m being delusional, but it’s a fantasy which helps keep the demons at bay.
His demeanor is altering toward me a little bit, too, here and there. I will catch him looking over at me with a hint of satisfaction in his eyes, but when he catches me looking at him he’ll immediately turn away. He also isn’t as mean to me as he once was, although there’s always that underlying distrust he has toward me. It often manifests itself when I run my mouth or if he had a shit day and needs someone to take it out on.
And who better than the one woman who forever altered his existence?
I force myself back to the present again. I want to know what Drayden is going to tell his mother about our first encounter.
“We met at a bar, went to a hotel, had sex and that was it. I found out later she was pregnant.”
Wow! That sure is a quick recap of our story, leaving many, many details out. Thankfully.
He isn’t offering his mother any more, not without further prodding. “So, what are your feelings toward her now? She’s rather quite stunning, but I’m sure you’ve already noticed that. And she seems really nice.”
“It’s all an illusion, Mom. Yes, she’s gorgeous, but she isn’t that nice. Trust me.”
He referred to me as gorgeous. Why does the sentiment send my heart a flutter?
He also said you weren’t that nice.
I choose not to focus on the second part of his statement, still stuck on the fact that he finds me gorgeous.
“Well, she
seems
nice. I think the surprise of everything is what’s hindering your feelings for her. You have to open yourself up to your future, Drayden. After everything that happened with Elizabeth, you’ve got to learn to live again. I mean,
really
live, not this existing you’ve managed to muddle through on a daily basis. Embrace the good about to happen to you. To the both of you together.”
Who is this Elizabeth? And what the hell happened to her?
“There
is
no
us
together. Sure, she’s having my baby, but it doesn’t mean I’m going to be with her. Not like that.”
His mother isn’t paying much attention to her son’s ramblings. Out of nowhere, she says, “I think you know what you should do.” She leans back on the couch, obviously satisfied with herself.
Drayden glances over at her smug face, not quite understanding what she means. I see him think on it for a few more agonizing seconds before jumping up and putting distance between the both of them. Then all of a sudden, he raises his voice to a level I’m unfortunately used to. “I’m not fucking marrying her!” He shakes his head back and forth, trying to rid his brain of the mere thought. “Hell will freeze over before I make that woman my wife!”
“Hey!” his mother yells over at him. “You need to calm down right now.” She seems to be sticking up for me, but how would she feel if she knew all of the despicable details? Surely she would agree with him a thousand percent. But for now, I’ll take whatever support I can get.
They continue their
discussion
once they both calm down some. “Sorry, but there is no way on God’s green Earth I’ll ever marry Essie. Never!”
Okay, I get it. He’s against the thought so much he just about had a stroke trying to defend his position. I never thought he would ever marry me. Hell, I don’t want to marry
his
temperamental ass.
“I saw the way you were looking at her the whole time she was in this room with us.”
“Yeah, I was keeping an eye on her so she didn’t transform into the devil and suck your very soul from you.” He smirks slightly at his own wit.
His mother chuckles at his obvious over-dramatization. “Come on, you can’t deny there is something between the two of you.”
Sighing, he holds his head in his hands. He’s clearly done with this conversation. “It’s called lust. Nothing more. Just because I want to bury myself between her legs doesn’t mean I like her.”
I feel a slight blush creep up and spread over my cheeks. I can’t believe he said that to his own mother, who by the way doesn’t even blanch at his crudeness. I’m mortified but oddly thrilled at the same time. If he desires me so much then why hasn’t he made a move on me? He knows I’ll be receptive to him, doesn’t he?
Maybe I’ll have to make sure he knows I’m open to it.
“I’m just saying to give it some serious thought, that’s all.” His mom gets up and walks over toward him, lessening the space between them until she throws her arms around him, bringing him in for a big hug. “Okay, that’s enough for tonight. I came here for a reason and now I’ll be on my way.” She snatches her purse off the couch and starts making her way toward the door.