Stolen Fate (16 page)

I’m whipped around only to be staring back into Drayden’s face. His lips are set in a tight, thin line, which is quite a feat because he is blessed with a beautifully-full and enticing mouth. “You never learn, do you?” It’s a rhetorical question because he doesn’t wait for me to answer. He turns around and attempts to drag me behind him, throwing a towel in my face before doing so.

“Drayden!” Eli shouts before hastily approaching him. “Stop acting like this. Let her go, man.”

“Mind your own damn business.”

“You’ve made this my business by doing this shit in front of me. For Christ’s sake, Dray, she’s pregnant and you’re manhandling her as if she’s not. Now. Let. Her. Go.”

Drayden’s hold on me lessens enough for him to confront his brother. “Trust me. I know she’s pregnant. And nothing I’m doing is going to injure my child. So back off, Eli. I mean it. You have no idea what’s going on here.”

“No,
you
have no idea what’s going to happen if you keep treating her like this.” And before I know it, Drayden releases his hold on me and lunges at his brother. The look on Eli’s face is telling. He’s surprised his brother reacts to this extreme, but he’s also ready to defend himself, as well.

Fists are flying all around me. Drayden lands the first punch, hitting Eli on the jaw, causing his head to twist to the side from the brunt force. Eli retaliates with a punch of his own, straight to the side of Drayden’s face, instantly marking him. Drayden’s next hit cuts Eli’s lip, spewing blood onto the both of them.

They are at each other for what seems like forever, when in reality it’s only like two minutes.

I don’t even realize I’m screaming at the top of my lungs for them to stop until two of Drayden’s yard workers come barreling around the side of the house, intent on breaking up the two men.

Thankfully, they are quickly successful. Once they are pried off each other, they take a few steps back, their chests heaving rapidly from their exertion. But at least they both look like they are trying to regain some of their composure.

I meet the cold eyes of the younger sibling before he stomps off toward the house, only to be followed by Eli.

Once I calm down enough and let the initial shock wear off, I walk into the house and past the library room. They are in the middle of verbally arguing when I approach the outside of the door. Apparently, this very spot is my new best friend.

“You can’t do that, Dray. You can’t handle her so roughly!” Eli shouts at his brother, pacing back and forth in front of the couch while gently touching his cut lip. His attention is directed toward his brother, ready for any sudden move he might make. “You’re letting your anger override your sensibilities. This isn’t you, man. Not one bit.” He stops pacing for a split second, honing in on Drayden who is busy wearing his own hole in the carpet. “What the hell happened to you?”

“
She
happened to me.” Four little words tell the whole story. Not to Eli, but I know exactly what kind of punch that sentence has.

Eli plops down on the couch, sitting forward with his elbows resting on his thighs. “Yeah, and look what came from it. You’re going to be a father soon, a situation you thought was definitely outside your reality, little brother.”

I think Drayden is at a sudden loss for words because he stops speaking for a few minutes. But when his eyes connect with Eli again, he just blows out a breath of air. “You don’t understand.” He makes his way over to the bar and pours himself a small drink. “By the way, I would never hurt her. I would never take it that far.”

“But you have, brother. You have. Do you not see the light in her eyes disappear when you turn on her? She’s reaching out to you, but all you do is push her away.” He joins his brother for a drink, their tempers on a low simmer from before. “Be nicer to her. If not for her then for the sake of your child.”

“You just don’t understand,” Drayden repeats.

“I understand if you don’t stop acting like this then you are going to lose the one woman who’s been able to not only give you a child, but also a woman who’s made you actually feel something after what happened so long ago.” Eli empties his glass and pushes it forward to be refilled. “I know you say you don’t like her now, but try to open up to her. Open up for yourself, for God’s sake.”

“I’m not sure I can.”

“You can. You just have to see the bigger picture here. Plus, never mind the fact she’s smokin’ hot.”

Drayden arches an eyebrow, a small smile turning up his lips. “I’ll give her that.”

Really?
That’s
the closing argument?

Men.

I make my way back to my room before they find me lurking around, potentially undoing whatever progress they just made.

The past two weeks have been pretty much the same between the two of us. We ate dinner together only twice, otherwise avoiding the very presence of the other person.

Loneliness seems to be my best friend. I still try to strike up conversations with Drayden, but they all fall flat. The only real topic he wants to discuss is the baby. He’s always asking how I’m feeling and if there is anything he can get me to make me more comfortable. I tell him I’ve been craving the cliché pickles and ice cream, to which he only makes a face. But he makes sure to have the fridge stocked with both, all varieties just to cover the bases.

I’m sitting alone in the library one evening, relaxing and reading a very captivating mystery novel when Drayden comes walking in.

“Oh,” he says as he comes to an abrupt halt. “I thought you turned in for the evening.” He seems surprised to see me, but that doesn’t deter him from his intentions. Making his way to his desk, he plops himself in his chair and tilts his head back before turning on the computer screen.

He looks tired, as if he had a really tough day at the office. It’s nothing like carrying a little human inside you, but a tough day nonetheless, I’m sure.

“Are you all right? You look beat.” He glances over at me from behind his desk, a little surprised I asked about his wellbeing. I have to admit, I stopped asking how he was doing with everything a while back. The only reason he’s even remotely concerned about me is because his child is cooking in my oven.

“Yeah, just tired I guess. How are you feeling? Everything all right with the baby?”

“Yup. Everything is fine as usual, thank goodness.” My hand instinctively rests on my stomach, rubbing it in circular motions.

“Good. That’s good. Oh, by the way, I’ll be taking you to the doctor’s tomorrow for another sonogram, so they can find out the sex of the baby. Shouldn’t take too long.”

I’ve had a couple sonograms so far. Drayden is overly anxious the further along I become. He never even thought this was a possibility, so he wants to take every precaution possible.

He turns his attention back to whatever is so captivating on the screen. His eyes narrow in close, his facial features taking on an even more stressed-out appearance. His dark tresses are usually perfectly styled, but right now they seem to have a mind of their own. His fingers come up and grip a lock of his hair, holding on before running his hand up and over his head. I guess I know the reason why he looks so disheveled, but even though he looks out of sorts, he’s still sexy as hell. I wish he would let me run my fingers through it. I would grip it and pull him close as I show him how much I desire him.

Damn these wayward thoughts. But I can’t help myself when he’s in my presence. It’s then his words register and he gets my full on attention.

I put down the book I’m reading and lock eyes with him. “But I don’t want to know the sex of the baby. I want it to be a surprise. I mean, there are so few surprises in life as it is; I thought this would be a memorable one to have.” I’m chewing my bottom lip, my nerves taking hold all of a sudden. I know he’s going to fight me on this, and I don’t have the mental energy to give it my all tonight.

“You’re right about so few surprises. You catching me in your web was one hell of a surprise to me. Then you being pregnant; that was another surprise.” He turns back away from me, breaking our brief eye contact. “I don’t want any more surprises. We find out the sex of the baby tomorrow.”

He finishes what he’s doing and leaves the room, and my eyes instantly well up in frustration. I’m never going to get my way again, not when it comes to this man or our child. I better toughen up now because I’m in for a lifetime of having my mistake thrown back in my face at each and every turn. He’s going to make me pay for my deceit any way he sees fit.

I’m not tired enough to retire for the evening, but I don’t want to continue to sit here and read, so I decide to take a quick dip in the pool. The water always seems to relax me, giving me time to reflect but also to dream of what could be possible in the future.

I’ve asked Drayden to purchase me a bigger bikini, seeing as how the other one won’t hold anything in place anymore. Thankfully, he didn’t give me an argument about it. Once I’m changed into my new red and white bathing suit, I make my way out to the pool. I’m standing at the edge, getting ready to dive in when I see movement under the water.

Drayden comes up to the surface about five feet away from me.

I startle him. But as quickly as he sees me, he ignores me and continues swimming his laps. Now, I’m not so much in the mood to submerge myself under the cool liquid, and that pisses me off. The fact he can take away yet another small pleasure from me is inexcusable. But there really isn’t anything I can do about it.

So I decide to sit at the edge of the pool and dip my legs in, cooling me off a little bit. As I’m about to lean back, my hand instantly flies to my stomach.

Something is happening which always seems to surprise me. I think it’s the coolest thing, even though it’s such an odd sensation. But it’s one which I eagerly wait for on a daily basis.

By this time, Drayden has noticed the reaction on my face and swims right up to me, standing between my legs. He stares up at me with a look of utter concern on his face.

“Are you all right, Essie? What’s happening?” He’s clearly starting to panic and even though I should make him suffer, I decide to let him in on what is happening with his child.

“I’m fine. The baby’s kicking, that’s all.” My hand stills on the corner of my belly, waiting for the baby to kick again. I’m careful not to stare at him for fear he’ll get freaked out and swim away. It’s like I’m dealing with a frightened, very dangerous animal.

“Oh,” he says with a rush of breath escaping from his lungs. He absently places his hands on the tops of my thighs, steadying himself in case he needs to leap into action.

He never removes them, setting my skin on fire with a desire I’ve been successful at pushing down so far.

I dare to make eye contact with him, in case he decides he wants to be part of this experience. “Do you want to feel? It’s really quite something.”

He looks a little pensive, not quite sure what he should do. Then a look of excitement flashes through his eyes as he looks at my belly. “Can I?” In that moment, I’m lost in his beautiful, hopeful blue eyes. There is a slight smile turning up the corners of his luscious lips, and it takes everything in me not to fall further for him in this precious moment.

I grab his hand quickly and place it on the corner of my stomach, moving it around until I’m able to gauge where the baby’s feet are. It’s been a long time since Drayden and I have touched when it wasn’t in anger. It’s rather nice. His skin touching mine is doing crazy things to my body. Forget about my mind.

Focus, Essie. This is all about the baby right now.

A good minute or two passes, but there is no kick. His previous excitement falls away, replaced by a look of utter disappointment.

“I guess he’s not kicking anymore,” he says with a frown on his face.

“Just give it a second. I’m sure she’ll kick again.” If he says it’s a boy then I will say it’s a girl. I guess we’ll find out for sure tomorrow.

And as Drayden is about to withdraw his hand, the baby kicks and it’s hard. So hard, I make a brief face of discomfort. “I felt it,” he says with a huge, ear-splitting smile.

Wow! I haven’t seen that big a smile on his face since the first night I met him. He really is the most physically-beautiful man I’ve ever seen. His eyes are alive with such exhilaration, making them much more entrancing. I have to look away before I get too caught up in the moment. I’m happy to share this with him, but I can’t fool myself into thinking anything more will come of it.

“It’s really something, isn’t it? A real miracle,” I say as I continue to try and disconnect from whatever I’m feeling toward him. Drayden keeps his hand on my belly for a few more minutes, feeling about five more kicks from our baby. I think this just made his night, washing away whatever hardships he encountered throughout his day.

“Thank you, Essie.”

“For what?”

“For sharing that with me.” He looks away from me then, maybe afraid I’ll urge him to continue our brief interaction. He pulls himself out of the water and walks over to grab his towel. The water is cascading down his powerful body and no matter what I tell myself, I can’t look away. He is gorgeous. His body is perfectly sculpted, just like I remembered it to be.

He catches me staring at him.

He smiles at me.

He fucking smiles at me.

I smile back. Then that’s it. He disappears into the house and out of view.

As I’m lying in bed, I replay our special moment over and over in my head, fantasizing that it could have turned into something more. But alas, it will never be. I hope there’ll be similar glimpses of happiness in the near future.

Hey, a desperate girl can dream. Can’t she?

~~~~

“You know the drill by now, Essie. This is going to be cold.” Dr. Higgins pulls the top of my blue skirt down a bit and squirts some gel on my stomach. And he’s right, it
is
cold. Immediately afterwards, he puts that camera thingy on my stomach and moves it around to get the right angle to see the baby. And there he or she is, looking all squished and perfect. It still amazes me a human being can have enough room inside me to grow and just be.

I do everything in my power to ensure the safety of this little one. I read up on all the things you should and shouldn’t do while pregnant. I don’t color my hair, which I don’t need to do anyway; there is no grey hair popping out underneath my mass of chestnut waves. I eat the right kind of food, staying away from a lot of seafood, and don’t overindulge in too many sweets. And I make sure to get my exercise, mainly utilizing the pool for that. I’m not sure if everything I read is one hundred percent accurate or anything, but it’s the only thing I have to go by, so I take it and run with it.

Once our child is in full view, the next thing which follows is the mesmerizing sound of the heartbeat. It fills up the vast space of the room, allowing both of us to sit back and be in awe of such a glorious sound.

“Do you want to know the sex of the baby? Because I can tell you if you want to know,” the doctor says.

“Yes,” Drayden affirms while I shout “No” at the same time. The doctor looks at us in surprise but doesn’t say anything. When I realize Drayden won’t budge on this, I come up with a proposal.

“Doc, can you let him know but not me? Is that possible?”

“Sure.” Dr. Higgins leans over toward his ear and whispers the sex of our baby. As soon as he moves away from him, I can’t discern anything. Drayden’s face is devoid of any expression. And it’s in that moment I realize he’s trying not to ruin it for me, respecting my wish to not know until the birth. My heart expands a little, touched he chose to react this way. But I can’t read too much into it or I’ll end up disappointing myself.

The rest of the appointment passes relatively quickly and by the time we’re done, my stomach is rumbling. Walking out toward his car, he hears it, too.

“Do you want to stop off and grab a bite to eat? I can hear your stomach from all the way over here.” He is still sort of smiling when I look over at him.

“Sure. Anywhere is fine. Thanks.”

We pull up to a nice, quaint restaurant and thankfully don’t have to wait very long before our food is delivered. We sit across from each other, not quite knowing what to say. For once, the awkward and tense air between us is uneasy. Normally, one of us is brewing with some kind of anger, so it’s easy to sit there and stew in it. But this is different. We just experienced a wonderful thing together but neither one of us knows how to expand on it.

“We should probably start to think about discussing baby names. And please don’t give it away by naming off a particular sex’s name. That’ll just make it obvious.” I blurt all of this out between bites of my chicken.             

“Ok. You come up with some girl names and I’ll come up with some boy names and we’ll see where we land.” His eyes are set on my face, actually engaging me in a real conversation. “Fair enough?”

“Yeah, fair enough. I think I actually have a baby book of names back at the house. I can give it to you when I’m done.”             

The rest of our dinner passes by in silence, but I don’t really care because I’m too excited to get my hands on that book and start making my list. I’m thankful he doesn’t pull a dick move and blurt out the sex of the baby. His gesture goes a long way to helping me see what type of man he is, even if that insight hurts like hell. He’s a good man. I know it deep down, but I don’t want to see it because it will only reaffirm how much I messed everything up. And right now, the only thing I want to focus on is baby names.

Maybe this is the start of coming to an agreement between us. A civil agreement. If I have to pinpoint when it all changed, I would have to say it was when he felt the baby kick last night.

Hopefully I’m not being totally delusional. I want to remain in this bubble of hope for as long as possible. I yearn for some sense of normality, whatever that might mean.