Authors: Cheryl Douglas
The nausea Drake had been fighting all night re-emerged as soon as he walked into Cassidy’s hospital room. She was hooked up to several machines. Her head was bandaged and her beautiful face was battered and bruised while her eyes were swollen shut.
He had to blink back the tears as he pulled up the chair beside her bed. What kind of monster could have done this to her? She was a petite woman, defenseless against this kind of evil.
Carefully lifting one of her hands and bringing it to his lips, he noticed it was ice-cold, almost as though the life had already seeped from her body. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered, resting his forehead against her limp hand. “Baby, I never thought it would come to this, you have to believe me.”
He watched her for countless minutes, praying for some sign she’d heard him, that she’d pull through and treat him to the insolence he’d convinced himself he could live without. He was watching her eyelids, hoping to see a flutter, when a nurse walked in and offered him a gentle smile.
“I’m sorry, sir. I’ll have to ask you to leave now. Miss Ross needs her rest.”
Drake wanted to refuse, but he knew the nurse was only acting in Cassidy’s best interest, so he gently kissed her hand and laid it back down on the blanket. “Can I come back in later?”
He would gladly stay at the hospital all night, sleeping in one of those cold plastic chairs, if he could help see her through the night. If the unthinkable happened, he didn’t want her to be alone.
If he had to sit in this room and hold her hand while the sickening sound of her alarm alerted the emergency staff that she was in distress, he knew he would hear that sound in his nightmares for the rest of his life, but the thought of letting her leave this world the way she’d lived, alone, seemed cruel. She deserved better. She deserved to have someone who loved her by her side to help her move through the fear of dying.
“I’m afraid not.” The young nurse smiled to soften her words. “You can come back in the morning if you like. Visiting hours start at nine.”
Leaving her lying in the hospital bed, not knowing if she’d still be there when he returned, was the hardest thing Drake had ever done. He looked back one last time before he closed the door.
Once he was safely outside of her room, he leaned against the wall for support and cried the first tears he’d shed since he lost his parents. He didn’t think anything could ever affect him as deeply as that loss had, but seeing Cassidy lying in that hospital bed because of his actions made him question everything he thought he knew about himself.
He’d never considered himself a hateful or vengeful man, but for the past year, he’d told himself he despised Cassidy and his brother. He resented them for being weak, for betraying him, but most of all, he loathed Cassidy for not loving him as much as he’d loved her, for not being strong enough to remain faithful to him and the life they’d promised to build together.
“Hey,” J.T. said, clapping him on the shoulder. “You okay?”
Drake had been so lost in his grief, he hadn’t even heard his friend approaching. Clearing his throat, he wiped his eyes with the heel of his hands. “What’re you doin’ here, man? I thought you were gonna go home.”
“I did, but I couldn’t sleep. Nikki was worried too, so she told me to get my butt down here and find out what’s goin’ on with Cassidy.” He looked at the closed door. “She’s not… I mean, she didn’t…”
“She made it through the surgery,” Drake said, his voice still trembling. “But, uh, it’s gonna be touch and go for a while.”
J.T. put his arm around his friend’s shoulders and led him back to the waiting room. “Phil told me to tell you he had to go down to the police station to answer some questions about what happened. I have his cell number in case you need to reach him.”
“Thanks.” Drake sat down in the same chair he’d occupied earlier.
“You feel like talkin’ about it?” J.T. asked, sitting down beside him.
He was so drained, physically and emotionally, he didn’t know how he would find the strength to repeat the story Phil had shared with him earlier. “I did this,” he said, leaning forward and covering his face with his hands. “If it weren’t for me, she wouldn’t have been living in that place and she would never have met that sick bastard.”
“Come on, now,” J.T. said, nudging his shoulder. “You can’t blame yourself. You had no idea it would turn out this way.”
“What the hell did I think would happen? I knew she had no other way of making a living. Her music was the only thing she had. It was her reason for getting out of bed in the morning, her reason for staying clean. Hell, it was the only thing she had that made her feel good about herself and I took that away from her.” The more he thought about it, the worse it made him feel.
“You reacted the way any guy would’ve in your position, Drake. If I’d come in and found one of my brothers in bed with Nik, I probably wouldn’t have left until some of his blood was spilled.”
“But it wasn’t his blood spilled. It was hers.” He opened his palms. “And now it’s on my hands.”
“No, it’s not. You can’t think like that. It won’t help either one of you.”
“J.T., she looked so broken.” His voice cracked as he thought of the ugly red and purple bruises marring her body, a sharp contrast to the stark-white sheets she was resting on.
“I know, but she’ll heal. Every day will get better and before you know it, she’ll be back on her feet.”
“You don’t know that,” he whispered, wishing someone could give him that kind of reassurance. “Neither do I.” He sighed. “The doctor said the next twenty-four hours are critical. I don’t want to leave, but they told me I can’t stay.”
“You need to go home and get some rest. Grab a hot shower and a bite to eat. You’ll feel better.”
If only his problems could be solved so easily. “I think I’ll just grab a room at a hotel nearby. I don’t want to venture too far, in case, you know, she needs me.”
A nurse approached, handing Drake his credit card. “There are a few forms you need to sign, but that can wait.”
J.T. leaned forward, bracing his forearms on his knees. “You’re takin’ care of all of her medical expenses?”
“Figured it was the least I could do.”
If she’d come after him for half of everything he owned, they probably would’ve settled for tens of millions of dollars, but she’d walked away with nothing except a suitcase full of clothes and some jewelry. She hadn’t even taken the most expensive pieces tucked away in the safe.
“You know she’d fight you on that if she could.” J.T. smirked. “She’s one of the most stubborn women I’ve ever met, except for my wife and daughter, maybe. I think that’s why I liked her so much, she reminded me of them.”
“Please don’t do that,” Drake whispered, closing his eyes.
“Do what?”
“Don’t talk about her in the past tense. I’m not ready to let her go yet.”
“Jesus, I’m sorry, man. I didn’t mean it like that.”
“It’s okay.” Drake raised his hand. “I know you didn’t.” Getting to his feet, he said, “We may as well get out of here.”
“Phil asked me to give them your contact information at the front desk,” J.T. said, falling in to step beside him.
“He told the doctor I was still her fiancée. That’s the only reason they let me in to see her.” He didn’t know how he would have reacted if they’d denied him access to her, but he suspected he may be sharing a cell with the son of a bitch who’d put Cassidy in here if Phil hadn’t intervened.
“I know. He told me.”
They travelled through the hospital in silence and Drake pulled a deep breath of crisp air into his lungs as soon as they got outside. It felt good, until his conscience reminded him that Cassidy may never know the simple pleasure of breathing fresh air again.
***
Cassidy tried to open her eyes, but it felt like metal clamps were holding her eyelids closed. She moaned, trying to talk, but nothing came out. It felt like a lead weight was resting on her chest, making speech impossible.
“It’s okay,” a familiar voice whispered, squeezing her hand. “Don’t try to talk. I’ll get the doctor.”
She tried to tell him she was fine, she didn’t need a doctor, but the words wouldn’t come.
After shuffling, shouting, and the sound of hurried footsteps, she heard another man’s voice.
“Well, it’s nice to see you’ve decided to rejoin us, Miss Ross. It was touch and go there for a while.”
She had no idea what he was talking about it and didn’t have the strength to ask him. Warm hands started poking and prodding her. She wanted to protest, but she felt like a prisoner inside of her own body. Feeling frustrated, she tried to sit up, but strong hands eased her back on the pillow.
“Easy now,” the calm male voice said. “You’ve been through quite an ordeal. You’re not ready to go anywhere just yet.”
She couldn’t argue with that. Opening her eyes and forming a sentence seemed like a monumental task. She couldn’t imagine the effort it would require to take a step.
“I’ll let you rest for now, but I’ll be back to check on you in a little while. Your fiancée can buzz the nurse if you need anything.”
Her fiancée?
What was he talking about?
“Thank God you woke up. It’s been six days. I came back the morning after surgery and they told me they had to induce a coma so your body could start to heal. I was so afraid you were never gonna wake up.”
When she felt warm lips against her palm, she forced her eyes open a crack to see if she was actually seeing what she believed she was hearing. Was that really Drake’s voice? What was he doing here… pretending to be concerned about her?
“What…?” she whispered, when she saw his face.
“Sssh,” he said, clasping her hand a little tighter. “Don’t try to talk, baby. You’ve been through hell. It’ll all come back, I promise. I just don’t want you to rush it.”
“Happened?” she whispered, unable to string two words together.
“I don’t think we should talk about that right now. Maybe when you’re feelin’ stronger.”
“Pl…ease.”
He sighed and she heard the scrape of his chair across the floor as he got to his feet.
“It happened at the center. Apparently, you were trying to help one of the residents—”
“Bill,” she whispered. It was coming back to her. He attacked her. In the alley behind the center. He tried to… Her head started pounding and she tried to raise her hand to her temple, but was only able to lift it an inch or two before she was forced to let it fall back to rest on the bed. “Hurts.”
“I know, sweetheart,” Drake said, brushing his finger over her cheek. “Everything is gonna hurt for a while.”
She wanted to know why he was here, being so sweet to her, pretending he still cared when they both knew he despised her. “Where… is…?” Her throat was parched. She tried to swallow, but her mouth seemed too dry. “Bill?”
“That son of a bitch is in jail where he belongs. Lucky for him. Trust me, he’s safer in there ’cause if I ever get my hands on him, I’ll make him wish he’d never laid eyes on you.”
He sounded almost like the man she used to know. Fiercely protective of the people he loved. Except he didn’t love her anymore. He hadn’t for a long time.
“My… head… chest…” Her whole body ached. She had no idea the extent of her injuries, but it felt like she should be in a full body cast.
“I know. When they brought you in, you’d sustained internal injuries, a head injury, and collapsed lung. They had to perform surgery. Fortunately, they didn’t think you’d suffer permanent brain damage from the head injury, despite the swelling. You were lucky.”
She didn’t feel lucky. She felt wretched. “Phil?”
“He and Susan have been here every day to check on you, even though they wouldn’t let them in the room to see you. J.T. and Nikki have been here too.”
If Drake knew that Susan and Phil had been here every day it must have been because he’d been there as well. “Why?” She was frustrated with her inability to communicate her questions. She wanted answers and it seemed he was the only one who could provide them.
“Sweetheart,” he said, sitting down in the chair he’d vacated. “Please, don’t overdo it. I just want you to rest right now. I promise we’ll talk soon when you’re feeling up to it.” He brushed a gentle hand over her bandaged head.