Authors: Cheryl Douglas
“Good,” she purred, grinding against him. “I guess I should start apartment hunting tomorrow, huh?”
He laughed. If she thought he was going to let her out of sight again, his sweet girl was delusional. “It just so happens I have the perfect spot for you,” he said, kissing her bare shoulder. Moving his way up to her neck, he smiled when he heard her breath get caught in her throat.
“Where?”
“On the other side of my bed.”
Drake was sitting in the office of his studio, trying to work through what seemed like the hundredth challenge he’d had to face that day when a soft tap on the door drew his attention away from his computer.
Expecting one of his employees, he turned his swivel chair to face the door and called, “Come in.” He was stunned when Lee appeared. “What the hell are you doing here?”
They hadn’t seen or spoken since that day at the hospital almost eight months ago, and while Drake knew Cassidy had spoken to and seen both Lee and her sister, he’d told her he wasn’t ready to bridge that gap just yet. She told him she understood, but he could tell she was disappointed that he wasn’t willing to make the effort. He didn’t want to upset her, but he couldn’t pretend his brother hadn’t betrayed him in the worst possible way.
“Can we talk, Drake?”
Drake didn’t know how to be civil to a man he’d once thought he would lay down his own life for, and that realization made him wonder whether it was too late to ever go back. “I have nothing to say to you.” In truth, he had a lot to say, but words wouldn’t repair their relationship. In fact, Drake questioned whether anything could.
“Then maybe you could just listen for a minute?” Lee looked hesitant, completely unlike the arrogant drug addict Drake had come to despise.
“I’m dealing with a crisis right now.” His day had been a series of crises and the last thing he needed was for his brother to add more angst.
“I understand,” Lee said, taking another step inside the office. “Honestly, I won’t take up too much of your time.” A hard, obvious swallow precluded his plea. “Drake, please, man.”
Drake took in his appearance, looking for a single tell-tale sign that he might be using again, but he had to admit, Lee looked better than he had in a long, long time. He almost reminded him of the kid with a bright future, who believed anything was possible. That was before the drugs took hold and he lost his grip on his dreams. “Fine, sit down,” he said, gesturing to the chair on the other side of his desk. “But I only have a minute.”
“That’s all I need.” Sitting down across from his brother with his hands clasped in front of him, his head bowed, Lee said, “Part of my recovery involves making amends.”
Drake didn’t wanted to derail his recovery, but he wasn’t ready to offer forgiveness. He didn’t know if he ever would be. “Then you should be talking to Cassidy.”
“I know.” Without his head still bowed, he lifted his eyes. “But I wanted to talk to you first. I know I should’ve come to you with this a long time ago, but I didn’t think you’d even agree to see me. So I waited. I bided my time, and figured if I was on really solid ground, maybe you’d believe that I’m sincere about turning my life around.”
“I hope you are. You have a baby on the way. She deserves the best of you.”
Cassidy told Drake they were going to have a niece. She’d even shown him a copy of the ultrasound picture her sister had given her. In that moment, his hatred was eclipsed by hope and he began to wonder if his family could heal. But then he looked at Cassidy, and he remembered. Perhaps she would always serve as a reminder of all the reasons his brother was dead to him now.
“That’s what I intend to give her.” Staring down at his hands, Lee said, “I want to be the kind of dad to her that we had.”
It wasn’t often they spoke of their parents. It was too painful to remember. “You have a hell of a long way to go.” When Lee winced, Drake felt a twinge of guilt. “But I have to commend you for wanting to try.”
“I just wanted to say I’m sorry… for everything.” Lee’s voice trembled when he said, “You didn’t deserve any of it, and if I had it to do over again…”
“But you don’t. None of us get a do-over.” Drake knew he should find a way to be grateful that he had Cassidy back in his life and they were rebuilding their relationship, but it wasn’t easy to wipe his memory clean, no matter how much he might wish he could.
He missed having a brother. There was a time, when they were kids, that they had been inseparable. As siblings who’d suffered the tragedy of losing their parents, they understood each other the way no one else could. As twins, it often felt like they shared more than an uncanny resemblance. It seemed they had a window into the other’s soul. Drake missed that connection and knew that as much as he loved Cassidy, the bond he once shared with his brother was unlike any other.
“Do you think you’ll ever be able to forgive me?”
Looking him in the eye, facing the anguish of his betrayal, Drake didn’t know whether he would rather deliver a blow or give in to his tears. “I don’t think so.” There was a long silence, where Drake almost thought he heard the united sound of their heartbeats.
“Okay, I understand.” Lee reached into his pocket when his cell phone rang, but he didn’t look at the call display. “Thanks for listening anyway.”
Drake just nodded, not trusting himself to speak.
“Drake, I—” Cassidy stopped short when she burst into the room and realized Drake wasn’t alone. “Lee, what are you doing here?” Holding up her hand before he could respond, she said, “Forget it, it doesn’t matter. I just got a call from Katie. She’s at the hospital.”
“What?” Lee shook his head as if in denial. “No, not the baby.”
It was in that moment Drake realized his brother was already in love with his daughter and he said a silent prayer that she would be born healthy and strong because no matter how angry he was with Lee, he wanted only the best for that baby girl.
“She’s in labor, Lee,” Cassidy said. She looked at the phone he had clutched in his hand. “She tried to call you. Why didn’t you answer?”
Lee looked at Drake and it seemed he was unable to find his voice so Drake said, “We were just finishing up here when Katie called.”
“We don’t have time to waste,” Cassidy said, grabbing Lee’s jacket and pushing him toward the door.
“It’s too soon,” he whispered. “She wasn’t supposed to deliver for almost four weeks. Isn’t that too soon?” He looked at Cassidy, his eyes filled with terror. “You think she’s going to be okay though, right? She has to be okay.”
“I think she’s going to be fine,” Cassidy said soothingly. “Come on, we’ll drive you to the hospital. I just called my mother, she’s going to try and make it in time, but-”
“I’ll send my plane for her,” Drake said quickly, knowing the odds were slim if she had to drive the distance.
“That’s so sweet of you,” Cassidy said, smiling at him.
“No problem.” Drake grabbed the keys off his desk. He wasn’t looking forward to being stuck in a car with Lee and Cassidy, but they were family, and during times like this, they had to put their differences aside and pull together.
***
Katie squeezed Cassidy’s hand through another contraction. “God, it hurts so bad.”
“I know it does, honey,” Cassidy said, trying not to wince when her knuckle cracked under the pressure.
“Where’s mama? I want her here!” Katie wailed.
“She’ll be here soon,” Cassidy said, glancing at the wall clock. Katie had been in active labour for hours. “Drake just went to pick her up at the airport.”
“Do you think she’ll make it in time? The doctor said I’m eight centimeters already.”
“She’ll make it,” Cassidy said, knowing that’s what her sister needed to hear right now.
“Where the hell is Lee? He went to get those ice chips five minutes ago!” she cried, squeezing Cassidy’s hand as she groaned through another contraction.
“Your mama just got here,” Lee said, throwing the door open. “She’ll be right in.”
Thank God,
Cassidy thought, withdrawing her hand from her sister’s grip to flex it. “I’m gonna go get her, baby. You hang on.”
Elizabeth was standing outside Katie’s door with Drake at her side, looking frazzled. “Is she okay?”
“She’s asking for you,” Cassidy said, hugging her mother. “You go on in.”
“Aren’t you coming?” Liz asked.
“I’m sure the doctor would object to having too many people in the room when she delivers,” Cassidy said, meeting Drake’s eyes. He reached for her hand and she smiled, grateful he was here. “She has you and Lee. She’ll be fine.”
“If you’re sure,” Liz said, taking a deep breath before she squared her shoulders and pushed the door open.
Cassidy admired her mother’s effort to be the kind of parent her alcoholism had prevented her from being while they were growing up. It’s like she’d become a different person over the past eight months, getting stronger every day. Not only was she someone Cassidy was proud to call her mother, but she was finding a best friend in her too.
“Are you sure you don’t want to be with Katie when she has the baby?” Drake asked, slipping an arm around Cassidy’s waist as he led her toward the waiting room.
“She doesn’t need me.” Leaning her head on Drake’s shoulders, she said, “She’s really going to need Lee after the baby’s born though. I hope they’re both strong enough for the demands of parenthood. It’s a lot of responsibility.”
“That it is.”
They sat down, side by side, on a pair of upholstered chairs lining the wall, facing Katie’s room. “What if they can’t handle it? What’s going to happen to our niece?”
“We’ll step up,” Drake said, watching a nurse wheel supplies into Katie’s room.
“You’d really do that?” Cassidy asked, realizing just when she thought she couldn’t love or appreciate him more, he gave her yet another reason to be grateful that fate had brought him back into her life.
“Of course I would. She’s family. That’s what family’s do, right?” He smirked. “Besides, I’m used to cleaning up after my brother.”
“What were y’all talking about when I came to your office today?” Cassidy asked, linking her hand with his. Her eyes drifted to the door just as a doctor wearing blue scrubs passed through.
It must be time,
Cassidy thought as she said a little prayer for her sister and niece.
“Lee apologized for what happened. He wanted to know if I could ever forgive him.”
“Can you?” Cassidy asked, holding her breath. She hoped the baby they were about to welcome into the world may be a new beginning for all of them.
“I don’t know.” Looking at their joined hands, he said, “Maybe someday, but not today.”
They were silent a few minutes. There was so much Cassidy wanted say about letting go of the past, but she knew this wasn’t the time or the place. Drake had to get there on his own.
“You think your sister is ready for this?” Drake asked, watching a woman in a bathrobe walking a crying infant up and down the hall as she murmured soothing words to him.
“I think so.” Cassidy smiled when the new mother looked up and caught them watching her. “She’s really excited about the baby. So is Lee.”
“So is Auntie Cassidy judging by the stash of loot I saw tucked away in your walk-in closet.” He grinned. “Your closet is right across from mine, remember? You left your door open. I wasn’t snooping.”
Cassidy giggled just thinking about the frilly treasures she’d found at the baby boutique. “You have to see this stuff, Drake. It’s so adorable.”
He looked at her a long time before he asked. “You think you’ll be ready to be a mama anytime soon?”
She wanted to squirm under his intense scrutiny, but she knew if she did he might get suspicious. “Why do you ask?” Wracking her brain, she tried to remember if she’d left out any tell-tale signs. She didn’t think so, but the way he was looking at her made her wonder if she may have been careless.
“It’s something we used to talk about a lot when we were engaged. You haven’t brought it up lately.”
“We’re not at the same place in our relationship as we were then.” Though she desperately wished they were. More than anything, she wanted her baby to have two loving parents who adored not only them, but each other. But even if a future wasn’t in the cards for her and Drake, she was determined to be the very best mama she could be.
When Drake remained quiet, Cassidy asked, “What about you? How do you feel about having kids someday?” And how would he react when he found out that day was going to come sooner than he thought?
She’d forgotten her pills when they went away one weekend. She didn’t want to ruin the moment by asking him to wear a condom and foolishly miscalculated her cycle, convincing herself the timing wasn’t right for her to get pregnant. She just prayed when she told Drake about the baby, he wouldn’t think she’d planned it to trap him before he felt ready to commit to a future with her.