STONED (Wrecked Book 1) (29 page)

Before I can say anything more or do something really fucking stupid like kiss her again, I walk away. Once outside, I can’t light a cigarette quick enough. As I’m exhaling my first not calming enough drag, Ro and Law pull up with Dane.

“Hey, man, we doing this?” Law asks, eagerly, drumsticks already in hand.

“No. I need to go home and take a cold fucking shower,” I snarl, pushing past him and climbing into the back of the SUV, leaving him and Ro standing at the curb. The two assholes just stand there with knowing smiles, trying not to laugh.

“So then Willow’s here, huh?” Ro asks, no longer able to contain himself. I flip them both off as they bend at the waist and fall all over themselves laughing.

Fuckers. I’m changing the God damn locks when I get home. See how they like that shit.

Willow

I’VE AVOIDED STONE LIKE THE
plague since the other day when he kissed me. And I let him. Kissed him back even. I ignored his calls, his texts, even him knocking on my door. Out of guilt. Out of preservation. I don’t have that luxury with the guys though. Judge, Law, and Arrow make it impossible. They show up all together or one by one, and I can’t say no to them. Don’t want to. They aren’t a threat to my heart. My happiness. My whole damn existence.

Glancing in the family room from my spot at the stove, I laugh at the sight. All three are here now on the floor playing with Lyric. The band has meetings with the label in Austin, and they leave in a little bit. Stone isn’t leaving until the day after tomorrow for some reason though. Trying not to put too much thought into it, I go back to watching my little clan. Laughing at their antics. They dote on Lyric like real uncles and even as it makes me happy, I can’t help but let the sadness creep in. In a different time, a different place, this is how it should be. How I always thought it would be. I’m brought from my musings when my cell rings. Recognizing the ring tone, I pick up before the bridge in the song.

“Hi. You’re up early, eh?”

“I couldn’t sleep any longer, I missed you,” Joaquin answers sincerely,

“I saw you last night,” I murmur, a smile in my voice. Things aren’t as easy with us as they had been but they aren’t as tense either. Slowly but surely we are falling back into our groove. Part of the static in the atmosphere with us is my fault. The gnawing guilt over my kiss with Stone hanging over my head. I’ve opened my mouth to confess everything no less than ten times, and each time I lost my nerve. I vow that if I see him tonight, I will tell him everything. I promised to always be truthful with him and he deserves nothing less.

“Are you free tonight? Maybe we can find a sitter for Lyric and you can come here. Spend the night. I’ll even cook for you,” Joaquin entices. I hear the meaning in his offer.

“I’d like that,” I say softly, though I’m not sure I’ll be staying the night once I come clean about everything. I’ll sleep better knowing that I was honest though. “I’ll call Cora and Bear and see if they can watch Lyric.”

“Sounds great. I’ll pick you up around seven.”

“See you then.”

“Bye,
chèrie
.”

Hanging up the phone, I turn, startled to find Law leaning against the counter, arms and ankles crossed watching me, a thoughtful expression on his face. To see all six foot four of him, tattoos covering damn near every inch, nobody would believe that he’s a huge softy. One of my best friends and always an ally when it comes to Stone. I missed him every day and am glad he’s back in my life, even though by the looks of it he’s about to make mine difficult.

“Was that Joaquin?” Yep. Difficult.

“It was, nosey,” I quip.

“Not nosey, just curious.” He shifts, leaning back, hands gripping the rounded edges of the granite. “You like him a lot, Wills, or is he just the safety guy?”

“The safety guy?” My brows are drawn in confusion.

“You know. The guy you pick because he’s the safest bet.”

“You mean the one who won’t get high and forget that he has a girlfriend? If that’s the safe you’re referring to, then yes.” Snipping at him isn’t going to stop his meddling. I’m not even really angry. Just guilty. That guilt, over one little kiss, no matter how not little it really was, is eating me up.

“Don’t be mad,” he soothes. “And you’re not telling me shit I don’t know. I was there. Fuck, Willow, I wouldn’t blame you for choosing the safety guy. I just want you to choose him for the right reasons.”

Law does know, better than anyone. I’m reminded of how bad things got and how he helped me more often than not, all while denying what was going on.

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I’m just on edge.” Rubbing my temples, I grin at him and his big brother posturing. “I may not be certain of what I’m doing or with who, but I promise you that it will be for the right reasons. It’s not just me I have to worry about anymore.” We both look at Lyric, still playing with Ro and Judge.

“You’re a great mom, Wills. I always knew you would be though. You mothered the hell out of all of us even though we’re older,” he chides, making my grin morph into a face-splitting smile.

“You all needed it! Your poor mom. She was a saint to put up with all of your rowdy asses.” I laugh.

“You’re right about that. She still is.” The fondness in his voice warms my heart. “Willow?”

I tear my eyes from my daughter and her “uncles.” “Hmm?”

“I’ve got your back. Always. No matter if you choose the safety guy or Stone.” Law pauses, making sure I understand that he’s sincere. “I mean it.”

With emotion clogging my throat I just nod. These rock stars are gonna be the death of me. When did they all get so damn feely and deep?

Willow

I’M BEHIND THE BAR POURING
out three shots of tequila for a couple regulars when Carleen nudges me with her pointy little elbow. “Oww!” I scowl and then follow her line of sight when she keeps staring straight ahead. That’s when I see him. Stone. Guitar swung around and pressed to his back, his loose limbed swagger, frayed jeans, and black t-shirt stretched tight across his wide shoulders. He’s been hitting the gym again . . . hard. And it shows. I glance down the length of the bar and see JD sitting there with a pint, talking to one of the headhunters from the label. Not paying any attention to what’s happening around him. Thankfully.

Bringing my attention back to the front, I shout over the too-loud crowd, “What the hell is he doing?” This is so not my scene. JD and I are supposed to be at his house having dinner, but Cora had a bartender call in as well as one of the bands slotted for tonight—my guess is they’re together—and asked if I could fill in. I’d never deny Cora anything, even if it’s torture. I ask again and Carleen just shakes her head, eyes still glued to Stone. With shaky hands, I pass the shots to the group waiting and fill my next order. Eyes darting back to the stage every few moments and then to Joaquin to see if he’s noticed the bane of his existence yet. He hasn’t. My head snaps up when I hear Bear’s booming voice.

“Hello my Dirty Birds! How the fuck are you? I’ve got a special treat for you lucky bastards. You won’t be seeing Queens Nation tonight,” he announces which is met with a round of boos. “Oh shut your mouths, ya filthy animals,” Bear taunts. Way more animated than usual. “Instead of those assholes who are MIA along with my bartender, I have for you a real motherfucking rock star!” Why is he playing him up like that? He doesn’t even like Stone. Damn traitor. “Stone Lockhart from Wrecked is here and has agreed to do a few songs—” Before he can finish, the whole damn bar goes ballistic. Lovely. There’s no way Joaquin missed that. Glancing over, I find him watching me in that quiet way of his. I raise my hands palm up and shrug assuring him that this wasn’t my doing. Then I try to busy myself with the people screaming drink orders at me, pretending like I’m not drawn to the man standing on the stage so that the man, my man, sitting at the bar won’t see. It’s a losing battle as soon as he starts speaking. There’s no way to ignore him even though I want to. He has such a presence about him. A magnetism that I’ve never been able to look away from.

“Wow! You guys are fucking awesome,” Stones says, chuckling softly as he pulls up the stool and flips his guitar around to his front while settling himself on the seat, foot propped on the top rung, pulling his jeans taut against his thighs. He adjusts the mic first and then his cock with a devil’s grin. “Sorry.” Liar. “Clearly the band’s not with me. They’re in Austin handling some shit with the label. I stayed behind to take care of more important . . . things.” His voice dips low and he looks up in the direction of the bar through a curtain of black hair over his one eye. It’s impossible for him to see me with the house lights up, but I can feel his stare and my breath catches. “Since the guys aren’t here, I’m gonna do a couple covers instead of our stuff. Songs that hit home with me.” He takes a swig from the water bottle that Bear put on the table next to him. “You mind if I take a minute, get some shit off my chest?” he asks the patrons, laughing when they answer in unison, the whole damn bar like it’s a first grade classroom. “Good. I thank you for that. Bunch of polite fuckers. I’m from Texas and I thought we were polite. We ain’t got shit on y’all.” Stone waits for the whistles and laughs to die down and then crosses his arms over the top of his guitar, the whole place so quiet you can hear a pin drop. “It’s no secret that I’m an addict.” I shift uncomfortably on my feet, he shrugs nonchalantly. “Doesn’t make me special. Or a better musician, although some may argue that. Being an addict has taught me a lot though. About who I am, who the fuck I want to be, and who matters most in my life.” Again he looks toward the bar, like he’s talking directly to me. And like whoever is working the lights tonight knows it, they dim them so that he
can
see me. I feel trapped in his gaze. His smile widens, although I can see the sadness in it, the vulnerability. “And who matters most . . . got pushed away. I lost her when I got lost in the dope. My heart hasn’t beat in rhythm since the day she left. So, say no to fucking drugs,” he says to lighten the mood. And then he goes and says, “This one’s for you, Willow.”

Not Birdie. Not Wills.
Willow
so that everyone in the room knows who he means. And then he launches into Imagine Dragons’ “I Was Me” and my world implodes. My breath hitches and the tears are instantaneous as the words wash over me, invading my every pore and seeping below my skin to grab a hold of my heart, squeezing, wrapping, filling the cracks he caused that these words are helping to heal. “
Please believe me when I tell you that this is not who I am
. . .
If I recover will you take me back?”
I can’t look away. The words, they couldn’t hold more meaning if he had written them himself. There’s a tear sliding down my cheek that I don’t bother wiping away. It wouldn’t make a difference; they just keep coming. Stone’s gaze is piercing, steady, and then he closes them on a soulful note and the beauty of the moment, nostalgic on so many levels, and new, and just . . . overpowering, is overwhelming. When the song ends, he opens his eyes and meets mine, blurred with tears, before lowering his head. I’m assuming to rein in his emotions because I feel like doing much the same. The crowd gives him that brief time and then they detonate in deafening applause.

With the reminder that we’re not alone, the spell’s broken, and I whip my head to where Joaquin was sitting only to find him gone. I go on tiptoes and scan The Dirty Bird but don’t see him anywhere. “Shit. Shit, shit, shit,” I curse. The thought of him witnessing my reaction to that kills me. He doesn’t deserve this limbo that I find myself in with Stone. I care about JD so much. So damn much. His patience is beyond my comprehension. If I were him, I would’ve been gone weeks ago. Stone taunts him at every turn, throwing our past in his face. And still Joaquin stays. Mumbling something to Carleen, I toss the bar towel down and stalk toward the break room where I’m most likely to find Bear. I need to do something with these emotions and being pissed is better than whatever it is I’m doing now.

“What the hell was that, Bear? Since when are you Team Stone?” I bite out in aggravation, storming into the small room. I don’t mean to take it out on him. I shouldn’t, but I just feel out of my mind right now. Like I have no control over myself.