Stop Me (6 page)
Authors: Richard Jay Parker
Even though he’d decided to wipe it Leo wanted to listen to Mutatkar’s message one more time. But someone else had left a message since.
‘Hey, Leo. How about heading over to us one day this week?’ Matty said it as if it had just occurred to him and not like he’d been pursuing him for the past couple of months. ‘You know where to reach us.’
Us
. From misanthrope disappearing act to happy family plural in what felt like months. Leo wiped the message so only Mutatkar’s remained and wondered why he continued to be so harsh on Matty. It had been months since his brother had moved in with Carla and the twins and he seemed to be making a real success of it. Did Leo resent Matty’s
ready-made
family, particularly as it fell into place so soon
after his own family plans had been suspended? Matty had been nothing but supportive since Laura’s disappearance. Perhaps it was because he was still uncomfortable with his younger brother’s newfound compassion. It was all a little too late in coming and it irked Leo that Matty had decided to start acting like a decent human being purely because he’d found his own happiness.
Matty had always been a non-presence in the most significant moments of Leo’s life – a noticeable absence timed to generate maximum attention. He’d done it since they were kids and Matty had quickly learnt what a potent weapon not being there could be. Matty first vanished at Leo’s sixth birthday party. It had only been for a few hours but it had shifted the focus of the guests away from the day’s VIP and onto a frantic search for his younger brother. He’d been found playing quietly in the summerhouse – a location that had been scoured twice over.
Leo had suspected that Matty had simply snuck over the back wall of the garden and hidden there, ignoring the sound of his own name until the search had shifted to the front of the house. He’d then slipped back and stole into position, priming his look of baffled amusement for the relieved search party to discover him. At this stage the short winter afternoon had ebbed and it was time for the other guests to go home.
Even though the periods of his absence had got
longer, Matty always turned up. It was something that it seemed only Leo was wise to and he’d watched his parents, friends and Matty’s potential girlfriends scurrying around in panic just moments after their attention had been focused a little too much in Leo’s direction. How can somebody suddenly go missing? Indeed. Quite an enigma was Matty.
People didn’t seem to question his absence as much when their parents fell ill, however. They’d been difficult times and Leo had spent them alone but there didn’t seem to have been any great mystery about Matty’s vanishing act then. Their mother had died of abdominal cancer in ’95 and their father had quickly followed with liver cirrhosis the following year. Matty materialised in time for the funerals and everyone seemed as relieved to have him back as they had when they opened the summerhouse door. Eventual presence was the relief he gave to people. It was his gift.
Matty’s last protracted absence had been the year of Leo’s wedding. Leo hadn’t wanted him as best man but, in the absence of an emigrated friend and against his better judgement, he had approached him to offer the role. Matty had seemed shocked to have been asked but accepted. Leo even thought that perhaps being given such a pivotal role would insure against the inevitable. It didn’t, although Matty didn’t disappear for the entire wedding day – just for the seven months leading up to it. It was his longest absence and for a while wedding
plans had taken a back seat while Leo tried to locate him.
Matty appeared a day or so before and was actually present by the afternoon. He turned up customarily late for the civil ceremony but didn’t actually vanish again until a few days later. On this occasion it was only a couple of weeks. Long enough, though, for Leo to spend his short married life again semi-concerned for his younger brother’s safety. Then Laura vanished and, it seemed, stole Matty’s thunder. He had reappeared after seeing her face on the news and Carla and the twins had kept him present ever since.
Leo would never know if Laura’s disappearance had acted as an alarm call for Matty to settle down or an opportunity to have something his brother suddenly didn’t: Leo loses wife and the prospect of having the family they had both planned for. At the same time Matty gets wife and two gorgeous children and is suddenly living in domestic nirvana. No, Matty had always sought attention but it had always been by removing himself rather than rubbing Leo’s nose in anything. Leo suspected that it was his own suspended circumstances that made him so resentful.
He knew it wasn’t a healthy train of thought but he just couldn’t shake the notion that all the family-man business and brotherly concern was an act, with Matty performing in a way he only thought was expected. There was an emptiness in Matty and Leo sometimes
wondered if only he saw it. Amongst the tight curls and awkwardness, a huge chunk of something was missing and it seemed, from a very young age, Matty could only fill it by taking from his brother.
* * *
Ever heard of a Doctor Mutatkar?
Should I have?
He called me last night. Said he knew where Laura was. Was meant to meet me today but didn’t show up.
I have a lot of devotees in the UK.
But you’ve never heard of him.
I didnt say that.
How much do you know of him then?
If he claims to know where Laura is then the question is how much does he know of me.
Leo was exhausted and in no mood to disguise his impatience.
Are you being deliberately cryptic or do you really not know him?
Again, Bookwalter’s answer immediately but sluggishly started to configure itself on the screen.
Even locked away, ask him if he truly feels secure.
Bookwalter could certainly think on his feet. It was the sort of abstruse statement that a good spiritualist would use. Like the ones that had been working for Maggie Allan-Carlin.
How can I ask him anything? I told you – he didn’t show up.
My mistake. Ask him the next chance you get.
Leo tried to remember if he’d just got back from a shift or was due to start one. Whatever side of the sleep partition he was he had less patience for Bookwalter’s arch responses.
Is Laura with you?
Nearby.
Meant to ask. Has she made you any of her famous prawn toast yet?
Not a fan of oriental cuisine.
It was a typical response because Bookwalter knew exactly what Leo was doing. Leo wondered if he’d use the titbit in a future exchange but doubted it. He’d deliberately forced incongruous information into their exchanges in the past but Bookwalter was meticulous and used only information that he’d insidiously extracted from Leo in his portfolio. Laura was allergic to sesame seeds but chances were Bookwalter would now steer clear of anything related to the subject.
He now implemented very little Leo gave him and usually adhered to his own (often incorrect) profile of Laura. When Leo had pulled him up on inaccuracies in the past, however, Bookwalter countered by using Laura’s fictional presence to chide Leo for not knowing her well enough. There was only one time Bookwalter
had quoted Laura directly. It had been during a conversation about her love of theatre, which had been news to Leo. On that occasion, the words were so patently not hers and Bookwalter had let his own American diction filter through.
She says I’m so mad you forgot that about me.
Bookwalter never did it again and direct interaction with Laura had been forbidden ever since.
Do I need to be concerned about Mutatkar?
As usual, there was no period of reflection before Bookwalter answered.
No.
Ashley was right. Why the hell did he still entertain him? Was it because he was the only person left who was willing to talk about Laura as if she was still alive? Partly. More important than that, a man who had never set foot in the United Kingdom, let alone Chevalier’s, was the only individual who had significantly projected what had happened the day Laura vanished.
Leo registered the blackness around the edges of his navy bedroom curtains and returned his attention to his laptop.
Tell me again about the 12th.
Theres nothing more to add.
But Leo knew that there would be and that Bookwalter’s fingers would already be poised.
Do you realise that of the thousands of people who visit my site youre the only person to ask about the mechanics of my abduction of Laura. In fact most of the questions Ive had to fence from others in relation to her seems to be whether she was my victim at all
They’re all ghouls. They’re not interested because you imply that she’s still alive.
But only you and I know that for sure.
No – only you know that for sure. And Laura, of course.
Of course but thats because you continually deny yourself the opportunity to remove all doubt.
If you allowed me to speak directly to Laura then you would immediately remove all doubt.
Although Leo had never caused Bookwalter to display any anger within his dialogue he knew when he was entering the sort of territory that might cut their discourse short. It was the fundamental weakness of Bookwalter’s claim that often led to a terse suspension of their discussions. Whether Laura was his willing prisoner or there under duress – something that Bookwalter would never confirm one way or the other – Laura’s real presence was something that could be confirmed in seconds and it was these definitive questions that Bookwalter was aggravated by and continually evaded.
Leo thought he was past deriding his lies but the
ludicrous pretence upon which their exchanges was based was sometimes so conspicuous that Leo had to fight his own reflex to attack him. He was either a delusional egocentric, a professional fraud who recognised the virtues of his grossly inflated claims attracting advertisers to his site – or both. However, Bookwalter’s theories masquerading as accounts of his exploits were actually the closest thing Leo had to a plausible explanation for Laura’s disappearance, and their convincing rationale meant he had to suppress a constant urge to needle him. A continually refined narrative had been emerging over months of mutual indulgence, and as Leo helped him fill in the gaps it became more credible than anything the police had speculated.
Why is it that nobody but you cares for the fate of Laura Sharpe? Ive murdered many people, more than Bonsignore confessed to after he throttled his boyfriend and took the credit for my work.
This was the point at which Leo held the punch bag. He’d never asked Bookwalter why he’d murdered the people he declared to have. His claim to be holding Laura was the only focus of their dialogue and he often wondered if that rankled with him. Bookwalter was a crank and a liar and Leo felt no need to grill him about crimes he hadn’t committed. It also seemed bad taste to ask why he no longer killed because he knew Bookwalter’s well-documented disgust for his
media coverage was such a convenient excuse for suspending his activities. Leo did, however, genuinely wonder who he was. Had he dispensed with his real life wholesale in favour of his fictional persona and warped celebrity? There was very little on the internet that Bookwalter hadn’t generated himself. News reports had simply described him as an ‘out of work actor with an unhealthy fixation for serial killers.’
He’d never been remotely aggressive towards Leo but he often wondered if this was more to do with the fact Bookwalter was keen to nurture their relationship for financial gain. He’d watched a few of his grainy home-shot rants on YouTube – in fact, Bookwalter had once embedded all of them onto his own site – and all of them had revolved around his dissatisfaction with his media perception which he laid squarely at the feet of Bonsignore. The venom directed from one proven liar to another potential fraud was either the ultimate illustration of his performance skills or an indication as to how completely unhinged he was.
Why have you now stopped attacking Bonsignore on the site?
Leo tried to improve Bookwalter’s mood by accommodating him so he could gear the conversation back to Chevalier’s.
Bonsignore was an amateur but Ive been dealing with second hand charlatans since I began. I now understand the trick is not to give them oxygen
.
But if they’re claiming to be responsible for acts they couldn’t possibly have committed surely they can be immediately dismissed?
Leo guessed the comment wouldn’t have the resonance with Bookwalter that he intended.
There was only a brief pause before he responded.
Not if people are determined to believe them.
Leo doubted he was responding to his barb and thought it far more likely that Bookwalter was still caught up in his own mortification.
So you think people don’t care about the truth if their desperation can be satisfied?
Exactly. Its why you puzzle me, Leo. If you care so much for your own wife why have you never accepted my offer of hospitality?
Leo wondered if Bookwalter’s repeated offer to pay for a flight to New Orleans was as carefully calculated as he believed it was. As far as he knew, none of the other victims’ families had had anything to do with Bookwalter. Any association beyond Leo and Bookwalter’s dialogues was sure to be shamelessly capitalised upon.
Send me the answers I want and I’ll book a flight tomorrow.
There were times Leo couldn’t help himself. There was an exact degree of belief suspension that was required to maintain the attention of Bookwalter’s skewed intellect and Leo wondered if he’d overstepped the mark. Leo had sent a list of intimate questions that only he and Laura would know the answers to during
their initial dialogues and Bookwalter gave the same response every time Leo highlighted the fact that they had never been answered.
Laura wants you to come find her. Removing all doubt by answering those questions would be too easy.
I need you to help me understand why Laura would want to test me in that way.
If these exchanges are the limit of your concern for her safety then its understandable that Laura has mislaid her affection for you.
You still forbid direct contact or to allow us to talk through you. You won’t even tell me what the state of her health is or whether you’ve harmed her. Surely you can understand why I’m still sceptical.
Its not my job to convince you, Leo. Ive told you where she is. Whether you choose to act upon it is your choice.
Leo resisted the urge to go over the same ground with Bookwalter but found his fingers typing a question he’d asked him numerous times in the past.
So why didn’t you murder her?
For the same reason I had to murder the others.
This other stock response was word for word the same as the other times but it was Ashley’s disapproval that Leo visualised as he typed in the inevitable.
Because the email came back to you?
Whether Bookwalter was deranged enough to believe he was the Vacation Killer and was holding Laura
captive or was completely sane, he had to know that it was one question Leo needed to know the answer to.
Because the email came back to me.
This was why Leo still entertained Bookwalter. Even though he’d put the words at his disposal Bookwalter continually repeated what he yearned to be told.
* * *
You were telling me about the 12th. What else can you remember?
Leo felt his legs going to sleep but didn’t uncross them from under the laptop.
That a casual air makes you invisible. You both walked past me when you were looking for your usual table in Chevaliers. I passed you in the stairwell leading to the upstairs seating area.
How long had you been there?
A minute or so before you arrived. Id walked into the downstairs lounge but nobody was tending bar. It had only just opened so I walked the length of the place to see if Laura had come in. She was always very punctual particularly with Opallios being just across the street. There werent any other customers when I walked to the upstairs bar. She wasnt at her usual table so I came back down the stairs and thats when you guys were coming the other way.
I don’t remember seeing you there.
Fact was, Leo couldn’t remember whether he had seen anyone or not. Their arrival at Chevalier’s was a weekly event so one visit mirrored the others. It was
usually early lunchtime when they entered which meant they had their pick of the tables but he couldn’t recall if it had been completely empty or if there’d been a smattering of other customers settling in. It just hadn’t registered because they’d been talking and had made a beeline for their usual location. His brain must have dispensed with the memory before they’d even sat down but Leo would have given anything to recall the thirty-yard walk to the place where he had last seen Laura.
I dont remember what you wore, Leo. Laura had that mustard knitted top on so she seemed dressed differently to normal.
How would she normally dress?
Not as informally. She let her hair down with Hektor the other times Id watched her having lunch there but she was usually dressed for work. She looked really tall close up. It was quite a surprise and I remember wondering if she would fit in the trunk of the car. I turned back in your direction as you both climbed the stairs and realised that it was all down to the heels she was wearing. It all worked out though. I had no reason to remove them.
Where did you go then?
As a reflex, into the restroom and then into one of the cubicles. Didnt lock the door, just closed it nearly all the way and lifted my feet off the tiles. Nobody came in though. I wondered if either of you had seen me. I doubted it. You were both engrossed with each other.
What were we talking about?
Christmas shopping from what I could understand.
Leo had no recollection of what they’d been talking about or, indeed, if they’d been talking at all when they headed for their usual leather sofa.
I decided you hadnt seen me but that I could still back myself up if you had.
With the story about the broken statue?
Correct. Thats when I came back out of the restroom and found her pushing the door to the ladies. I knew everything would fall into place after that.
So you had second thoughts beforehand?
Happens all the time. You watch and learn but the skill is in recognising the opportunity. Do the names Libby Morgan, Julie Desouza or Martin Cornish mean anything to you?
No.
That’s because they shouldnt. Right now theyre probably enjoying lives I very nearly took from them. My research was thorough but the right occasion never presented itself. You can plan for every eventuality but you still need luck. When I met Laura in that confined space and she made eye contact I knew wed walk out of that place like we were invisible.
This was new insight that Bookwalter had never embroidered the story with before.
The first thing I say is her name. It always disarms people because they think they should know you. Theyre offguard while they try to find you in their head and in those few seconds you can do anything. Then shes looking at my delivery guy uniform and Im laughing and going out of my way to put her at her ease. I throw in Opallios and the name of her boss and tell her I’ve been sent over to the bar because they figured shed
be there. Ive got a parcel for her to sign for and I’m holding up the digital signature display but before she can process this Im telling her that I think its a statue and that it sounds like its probably broken.
Leo noticed that on each occasion Bookwalter immersed himself in his own story the past tense suddenly became the present. His typing got faster and his mistakes became more frequent, his frantic and categorical corrections prompting Leo to imagine him punching the keys and cursing himself as they interrupted the flow of his account.
Ive given her so much thats familiar to her. Im wearing the uniform, Im holding the signature display for her to sign and I say Ive been trying to find her. I say Im illegally parked in Percy Street and can she come get the parcel before I get a ticket.
Im overloading her with information and at that point her eyes go up and to the right – up the stairs to where youre waiting. It’s the crucial moment. I tell her that it’s not a very big parcel and could she come get it now because I dont want another parking ticket for Christmas. Thats when her eyes drop again. Maybe she feels sorry for me, maybe she digs my American accent, maybe she doesnt want to go back up the stairs in those heels again and figures it will be easier just to come get it. Add to that the fact that her mystery Christmas parcel is already damaged. She tells me she just needs to use the bathroom and I tell her Ill wait.
I lean against the wall at the bottom of the stairs and youre waiting for her at the top of them. If you come down I can just walk out. If anyone passes me and takes note of me I can just walk out. I know neither of these
things will happen though and all I have to do is look harassed when Laura comes back out of the restrooms and hope she hasnt thought too hard about anything. Not that there was anything wrong with my story but sometimes common sense can slow the impetus.
Shes back out in under a minute though and she obviously peed as fast as she could. Shes considered telling you whats going on but shes decided against it particularly now shes held me up further by answering the call of nature. I walk her quickly out of Chevaliers and she has to keep up. Theres still nobody in the front bar and I hold the door open for her.
Leo’s mouth was dry. He sipped at his coffee and it was stone cold.
Percy Street is a block up from Chevaliers on the right. I pretend to be programming the digital signature display with a touch pen and dont make eye contact. We turn the corner into Percy Street and walk down the right hand sidewalk. I keep my head down but peer up through my eyebrows for pedestrians. There are three kids standing on the opposite side of the street but theyre not looking at us. Laura says something but I dont hear what it is.
I fix the kids until were masked by the row of cars parked down the sidewalk. The street is a dead end and I turn off the display and ask Laura to sign. She tells me its turned itself off and I pretend to be fixing it as we approach the dead end. I hand it back to her and know that in the time it takes her to sign my story will have run out. Ive left the trunk of the car unlocked and Ive got the hypodermic in her left side while her hands are still busy. I neck lock her and push my knuckles into her mouth until I feel her shoulders sag. I take my time putting her into the boot of the car because I know nobody will disturb us.
The cursor flashed. Bookwalter seemed to be waiting for a prompt. Either that or he just wanted to know that Leo was still there.
Percy Street is overlooked on the right hand side by several housing blocks. Weren’t you concerned that somebody would have seen you?
Percy Street had nothing but horded wasteland bordering it at the time of Laura’s disappearance.
I told you, I knew nobody would disturb us. I used the plastic carpet ties on her wrists but I didnt bother with her feet. The tranquilliser would still be working hours after wed reached our destination. Then something happened just before I shut the trunk.
I remember you telling me.
But Leo knew that Bookwalter’s elaborations were always building to this moment. It was the most convincing part of the account and no matter what additional facts he embellished the story with as he gleaned more specific details from Leo, Bookwalter’s narrative always concluded with the same recollection.
I dont know whether it was a reflex or if it was Laura being guileful as she went under but when I checked the ties on her wrists she curled her fingers around the tops of mine. She didnt grab them, she seemed to caress the three fingers of my right hand and I remember how it had taken me out of the moment.
Id held her while the tranquilliser had taken effect, had her teeth marks in the back of my hand and had lifted her weight into the trunk but that was the first time shed
touched me. It definitely unnerved me and I remember slapping her hand away and slamming the boot.
Leo waited for Bookwalter to continue. The account always ended here but he wondered if he was going to polish the final memory more than he usually did. Memory? The whole account was a fantasy that Bookwalter got off on but he wasn’t sure if he reverted back to the past tense as a natural way to end his story or because the detail about the fingers was part of a genuine recollection. The moment seemed utterly convincing to Leo but Bookwalter had proved himself to be an adroit storyteller. He employed convincingly odd details, had garnered small pieces of truth from Leo in the past and used them to plug the holes in the places he couldn’t have been.
In his initial outline of events Bookwalter told Leo he’d watched them sitting at their table through the window of Chevalier’s. The table had been in the back lounge where there was no window. He’d also told Leo that he’d seen Laura in Chevalier’s most lunchtimes. She mostly ate at her desk at Opallios and Leo usually accompanied her whenever she did drink there. He still also maintained that there were toilets at the bottom of the stairs leading down from the back lounge. There were no stairs, only one single step and no toilets. The stairs actually led up from the front bar to the central lounge where there were toilets halfway along the
right-hand
wall.
He could certainly pinpoint the origins of all the other information that Bookwalter had about Opallios and Hektor from their many dialogues. The other details, like the description of what Laura had been wearing, would have been available to Bookwalter through news broadcasts and on the internet.
He continually asked Bookwalter where he’d taken Laura from there but had been told that details of what transpired afterwards would be too ‘taxing’. For Leo or Bookwalter? There was, of course, the small matter of how he’d managed to transplant her to the United States against her will. Bookwalter occasionally insinuated that Laura was now a willing accomplice but how had he got himself present at Chevalier’s when he’d never left the state of Louisiana in his entire life?
They were questions that all had one definitive answer. But even dispensing with the inconsistencies in Bookwalter’s own ludicrous claims the delivery guy story was still the most convincing theory that Leo had been offered in fifteen months of personal and police investigation. He’d even started to see Bookwalter the delivery guy in his dreams and waking to the knowledge that his delusional correspondent had deliberately planted himself there never completely shook the notion that Bookwalter had become one of the last people in his life who confirmed that Laura existed.