Strange Attractors (25 page)

There was no answer. He hadn’t expected one.

Xane led the horses to their stalls, relieved that he was finally dismissed. He went straight to his cot in the stableboys’ dorm, curled up and fell asleep.

Xane awoke in a sweat, his throat dry and head pounding. What was that sound? He strained to identify the noise. It could have been barn cats, or maybe it was the grating of the main gate to the brood mare barn. The hinges were old and it had to be lifted high to keep from scraping the ground. He listened again. Crickets resumed their chatter and a horse groaned as it lurched to its feet, its rug straps slapping when it shook. Bats were returning to the loft, their swoops and flutters muffled by the wall of hay stored overhead.

He reached for his waterskin and took the last sip.
Just ordinary night sounds. Nothing to worry about.
Nothing to worry about except his aching head.
I’ve got to get a drink.
He wrapped his blanket around himself and crawled out of bed, his toes curling when they touched the stone floor. Cold. He pulled on his boots and scuffed down the hall to the courtyard well, gazing at the stars while dropping the bucket over. It hit the water, the splash echoing, but he kept his eyes on the night sky.

Ceres, Regulus and Saturn were near to setting—almost dawn. He cranked the handle and the sloshing bucket appeared from the depths. He filled his waterskin. His fingers were cold, his body shivering. He’d become soft since moving to the stables. It came with having dry clothes and a bed, and food every day.
He used to be a lot tougher—tough like Shaea had to be. ‘Shaea,’ he whispered, pushing the cork into his waterskin after taking a long swig.

He didn’t expect an answer but the hairs on the back of his neck prickled. Someone was near. He picked at his neck, acting as if he didn’t notice. They were hidden in the shadows yet quite close to hand. He pretended to study the stars again, honing his peripheral vision as he turned back to the stables. A blast of insight hit him, like a flash of memory, a slap upside the head.
Am I dreaming?

It felt like it had all happened before, this sense of being watched. His response was involuntary—kneejerk. He had the strangest sensation behind his eyes and realised he could see everything around him in a grid-covered red light. It was how he imagined a nocturnal raptor might view the world, scanning the woods for a mouse hidden in the pitch black. He paused by the stable doors and heard the flutter of wings taking off. The noise he’d heard earlier came again. He recognised it immediately. It was the cry of a goshawk winging far above. ‘It’s closer to dawn than I realised,’ he said aloud.

‘Aye, and time for chores soon, Xane. Are you feeling up to it, lad?’

He startled but immediately recovered. The voice was one he knew, the Stable Master’s second, Willem. He’d taught Xane how to mend and clean tack, the measuring of the grains and hay and, most important, he had been Xane’s advocate when he was under consideration for the runner’s team. They were the apprentices who not only looked after the horses and their gear but would exercise them as well, and follow them into battle.

‘Good morning.’ Xane offered a smile.

Willem came from the brood mare barn at the opposite end of the courtyard. He was carrying a lantern and a wooden bucket full of grain. ‘Morning back and I must say I’m glad you didn’t die. Plenty others did.’

Xane nodded. ‘I’m pleased about that myself.’

Willem motioned him closer. ‘How long have you been at the well?’ he whispered.

‘Not long.’ Xane glanced at the stars on the horizon.
Ceres setting after the Pleiades at thirty-two south, Regulus conjunct
, he said more to himself than Willem. He looked up. ‘A tenth of an hourglass, is all. I just came out to fill my waterskin.’

‘Really? A tenth, is it? Never heard it put that way. Did you see anything else besides the stars? Anyone else?’

‘I heard something. It woke me up and I felt like I was being watched but it could have just been the last of a dark dream. Apparently I’ll be prone to hallucinate for a while. That’s what the healer implied.’

Willem narrowed one eye. ‘Implied, did he?’

‘Is there something wrong?’ Xane asked.

‘You sound different, lad.’

‘Different?’ Xane pulled on his ear. Different wasn’t good. All his life, he’d been careful to be anything but different. He frowned.
Now why would I think that?
He smiled at Willem, not needing to feign confusion. ‘How do I sound different?’

Willem scratched the stubble on his jaw. ‘You sound smarter.’

Xane snorted. ‘That’d be the hemlock, sir. They say if you live through it, you gain the knowledge of all those that didn’t.’ He laughed. ‘But I don’t think that’s likely, do you?’

Willem agreed, but he didn’t laugh.

Rosette felt a roiling in her belly. She wanted to run. Grayson stared at her, but he didn’t answer. His blue eyes filled with tears.

Not a good sign, Maudi. I don’t like what he’s saying and I don’t like you in this world. Come back.

Drayco hadn’t entered Sector Six. He didn’t like the idea of her stepping through at all and had spent a fair bit of time reminding her of what had happened last time she did, but the sight of Grayson heading down the barren path decided it for her. She’d run to him, waddling like a duck with her progressing pregnancy. He had to come back. They had to activate Jarrod’s CPU. There wasn’t much time. She’d risked portal travel to find him, trusting her daughter would cooperate and stay put until she did.

But Grayson’s response made her stomach go cold. Rosette’s first reaction was to shift forms, to become anything other than what she was, and get out. Instead, she sucked in the acrid air around her, consciously slowed her pulse and exhaled. She wasn’t going anywhere until she understood what he was talking about.

‘It’s a simple question, Grayson,’ she said, her feet planted on the ground. ‘And I’d like a clear answer.’ She paused to give him a chance to reply. When he didn’t, she repeated the query. ‘What happens to me when the spell is activated?’

‘I’m not certain.’ Grayson wiped his eyes and cleared his throat again. ‘We need to find Richter’s journal notes.’

‘Journal notes?’

‘Her grimoire. They will clarify it, I hope. At this point, it’s speculative.’

‘You seem to have a lot of emotion for something that is only “speculative”. Tell me what you think will happen.’

He swallowed. ‘As far as I understand quantum sentience, the other one would have to make room.’

‘Make room? What, like scoot over?’

‘More like they’d have to go.’

‘Go?’ She creased her brow. ‘Go where?’

‘It would be something akin to death, I imagine.’

She squared her shoulders. ‘I don’t believe in death. Not any more. Consciousness is energy. It cannot be created and it certainly can’t be destroyed.’

‘That’s how we understand it. But consciousness also has a wider range than any attachment to the body. I think it would go elsewhere, if there is nothing to anchor it here.’

‘
It
being me?’ She scratched her nose. ‘So, you’re saying…effectively, I die?’

Again, Maudi?

Seems so, Dray.

‘I’m not saying that.’ Grayson touched her cheek.

‘What then?’

‘I’m saying I don’t know until I find Richter’s notes.’ He reached for her hand but she pulled back, her arms encircling her belly.

‘And my baby? What happens to her?’

‘There’s no way of knowing what effect…’

‘That settles it,’ Rosette said, backing towards the portal.

Maudi?

‘Settles what?’ Grayson asked.

‘I’m going to Corsanon to search for Jarrod. He’s building a tulpa, I’m certain of it. I don’t know why we didn’t just wait for him there.’

‘If his consciousness is dispersed, he…’

‘He needs me to bring him back. I can feel it. Are you coming?’

Grayson didn’t hesitate. ‘Of course,’ he said, stepping towards her, reaching out. ‘Please listen to me. I didn’t mean what I said before, about not being able…I didn’t know.’

‘It doesn’t matter.’ She scanned the desolate parkland. ‘Why were you looking for me here?’ The sky was brown as ever, the trees brittle and bare, the grass sparse dry tufts. If anything, it was more lifeless than the last time she saw it.

‘Everett seemed to think…’

‘Everett’s here?’

‘Down by the lake.’

‘Excellent. Bring him too. He can help.’

‘Help what?’

‘With the activation, if I can’t find Jarrod. We have to cover every corner.’ She lifted her chin. ‘New plan. Meet me at Temple Los Loma.’ She pointed towards the lake. ‘With him. If I still can’t find a trace of Jarrod after the baby’s born, we’ll activate the spell.’

‘Rosette, Everett’s not quite together these days.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘He’s not quite sane.’

‘Perfect. He’ll fit right in.’

Come, Maudi. Others have spotted us.

Don’t worry, Dray. This is one world I’ll not be trapped in again.

‘Rosette, wait!’

‘No time. See you at Temple Los Loma.’ She didn’t turn back.

He called to her but she kept climbing up the hill, not looking to see his choice. She’d meet him in Los Loma, with or without Jarrod—and she hoped with her whole heart it would be with.

The portal felt warm, inviting. The crunch of stones underfoot, the familiar zap of plasma tickling her palm as she brushed the Entity, the faint smell of wet cedar wood that lingered in the air, and the touch of Drayco’s cheek rubbing the back of her knee gave Rosette a sense of relief. Her mind was clear and she felt at peace again—the first time since she and Teg landed in Corsanon. She basked in the feeling and focused on an explicit intention.

‘Corsanon,’ she said aloud, running her fingers across the Entity’s plasma field. Her voice resonated through the corridors as she dropped her hand, letting it rest on the top of Drayco’s head. He purred, a sound she hadn’t heard for a while.

We go to find Jarrod?

‘One way or another, Dray…’

‘We will find him,’ Teg said, finishing her sentence.

Rosette spun around in her skin. ‘Teg!’

‘You didn’t think I’d be left behind, did you?’

She glared at Drayco.
A heads up would have been good.

I only just sensed him, Maudi. He excels in the art of camouflage. Remarkable, really.

She spotted Teg in the shadows.

Maudi, relax, this is good news.

Why exactly?

You’ll have someone to talk to while I sleep.

Drayco locked his orange eyes on Teg for a moment before bow-stretching. Rosette didn’t know if he spoke to him. If so, it was a private exchange. Her temple cat settled down, tucking his front paws into his chest like neat dresser drawers, closed his eyes and rumbled himself to sleep.

Rosette turned back to Teg, taking his hand and drawing him forward. ‘How long have you been lurking in the corridors?’ she asked.

‘Not lurking. Waiting.’

She raised one eyebrow. ‘How long?’

‘Long enough to work out there is something going on behind our sight. Something we need to figure out, quickly.’

‘Behind our sight?’

‘Can’t you feel it? I think it’s close by. Haunting, like a shadow.’

‘Do you mean the volcanic activity about to blow Temple Los Loma off the map, or Makee’s strange appearance in old Corsanon—and disappearance I might add—or Kreshkali’s inexplicable urgency to use the backup CPU or that vanishing act of Clay and Shane, and that strange young witch…What’s her name?’

‘Shaea.’

‘Right, Shaea.’ She sat beside Drayco, leaning her head against the wall. ‘I don’t even know what happened to them all.’ She stretched her neck. ‘Kreshkali will disown us, by the way, for going against her direction again. We’re compost. You know that, don’t you?’

‘I do.’

She closed her eyes as Teg rubbed her shoulders. ‘We might as well kiss our apprenticeships goodbye.’ She opened her eyes, looking at him sideways. ‘Why are you chuckling?’

‘Nervous laughter, mostly. I do want to pass my apprenticeship, but, Rosette, surely we will, if we bring Jarrod back.’

‘Good thought, Teg. That’s exactly what I intend. Something happened in the corridors back there with Kreshkali. Did you feel it? I know we were all knocked
around, wet and cold and not thinking clearly, but something doesn’t add up. She wanted to get us out of there too fast. Why didn’t we search longer?’

‘This is what I mean. Something’s going on between the lines.’ He motioned her to sit in front of him so he could massage her head and neck. ‘How well do you know your history?’

Rosette wrinkled her nose. ‘Not my top subject but I know it well enough to see things in Corsanon were mixed up.’

‘Mixed up?’

‘Out of synch. It was before the wars, but Clay was there. He was older than when we first met, but he didn’t remember me.’ She closed her eyes again; the sound of Drayco’s purring, a soft flutter in the back of his throat, soothed her. ‘I don’t trust Makee. Where did she vanish to? Where did the others go?’

‘Wherever it was, they shot off in a hurry.’

‘Makee said she was going to find Grayson, but I’ve already done that.’

‘Had she been there? Had she reached him?’

‘I don’t see how. He didn’t know Jarrod was lost.’

‘And what is he going to do?’

‘Head straight back to Temple Los Loma, I hope.’

‘He didn’t try and stop you?’

‘I didn’t give him the chance.’ She shook her head. ‘I didn’t like what he had to say about me activating the spell either.’

‘Can’t he build a quantum computer?’

‘He said we didn’t need one. The spell activates Jarrod on the spot, in my body.’

Teg frowned. ‘What happens to you?’

‘My consciousness? He wasn’t certain but chances are good I wouldn’t be able to hang around.’

‘And the baby?’

‘Don’t know about that.’ She closed her eyes, turning her mind to other thoughts.

Their party had disbanded when they’d reached the portal of Temple Los Loma. Hotha was missing and the place was in chaos. The mountains smoked and the earth rumbled. There was talk of evacuation. Kreshkali was swept up in conversation with Annadusa and An’ Lawrence. She had a word with Teg who took off to find Hotha, or so she thought. Rosette realised now that he had been tracking her.