Authors: Kristy Phillips
Mary recovered herself seamlessly. “A student. How lovely. Isn’t it such a small world?”
“Yes. Isn’t it though.” Jason said softly. He quickly averted his gaze from Alli and turned his attention toward her mother, but not before he registered the fact that she was wearing the charm necklace he had given her.
Alli’s grandparent’s joined them, and talk shifted to more neutral things until the dinner began and the two parties separated to their own tables.
The dinner proved to be enjoyable despite Alli’s stomach being filled with butterflies at having seen Jason outside of the classroom. The adrenaline rush she got had put a little color in her cheeks and a little life in her eyes. Her mother delighted in the change in Alli, attributing it to the novelty of dressing up and going out for the night.
Linda chattered happily on the ride home. “My, that Jason is a handsome young man, hmm?”
Alli blushed crimson, thankful for the darkness in the car. “Yeah, I guess so.” She tried to sound unimpressed, hoping fervently her mother would drop the subject.
“I wonder if he’s seeing anyone.”
Alli jumped in horror. “Oh, God Mom! He’s like,
half your age
.”
Linda laughed, a sound like pealing bells. “I was thinking of
Margot
, Alli. For goodness sakes. And I’ll thank you to remember that I am a married woman. I haven’t given up on your father, and you shouldn’t either. Don’t be so quick to write us off.”
“Huh? What do you mean?” Alli was lost at her mother’s meaning.
“I’ve noticed you moping around the house since school started Alli. I don’t like seeing you so melancholy. I know change is hard...”
Alli tried to placate her mother, and made a silent promise to herself to make a concerted effort to hide her misery better.
The conversation in the car during Jason’s ride home was much more strained. Mary waited until they were well out of town before breaking the pregnant silence.
“So, Alli Wilson is one of your student’s? That must have come as a bit of a shock.”
Jason’s knuckles tightened on the wheel. “Why is that, Mother?” He asked flatly.
“Because I seem to remember you being under the impression that she was the
elder
sister. Didn’t you tell me she was nineteen when I asked about her... helping you with the canvasses for the art show?”
Jason kept his eyes fastened to the road. “Yeah, I guess I did. I must have mixed the two of them up. It’s really not much of an issue, Mom. I told you I didn’t really know her that well.”
Mary was not without sympathy as she watched her only son struggle to maintain an air of nonchalance.
Her voice was quiet when she spoke again, sincere. “I’m so happy that you’ve started painting again, son. I hope this doesn’t dissuade you from continuing.”
Jason recognized Mary’s gentle way of letting him know she knew the truth. She had obviously seen his nude study of Alli. It was only partly finished, but there was no mistaking the subject.
Jason let out a slow breath, incredulous at the sting of tears threatening his eyes. Suddenly his tight hold on his emotions slipped, and his hands started trembling.
He pulled well off the shoulder and put the truck in park, leaving it idling with the headlights shining into a murky field of tall grass.
He lowered his head to rest atop his hands on the steering wheel. Mary waited patiently for him to speak.
“It was a mistake.” He sighed.
Mary was calm as she asked her next question, already assuming the answer based on her son’s reaction to the topic. “How big a mistake, exactly?”
Jason maintained his position. “As big a mistake as physically possible, Mom.” He sat up and rubbed his hands over his face, grateful to note the danger of tears had passed.
“I honestly thought she was nineteen. It’s over now - obviously. So I’m hoping it doesn’t have to become an issue.”
“Based on her warm reception of you, I’m guessing Linda doesn’t know?”
“No, I don’t think it’s in Alli’s best interest to go around advertising the inappropriate relationship she had over the summer. At least, she didn’t write about it in the ‘what I did over summer vacation’ essay I assigned last week.”
Mary smiled sympathetically at her son’s attempt to lighten the mood.
“Well, I know this can’t have been easy for you. I can’t imagine how awkward it must be for you to see her in class.”
Jason took another deep breath and let it out. Then quietly, almost as if to himself he said, “Yeah, well, call it penance.” Then he shifted the truck back into gear and pulled off the shoulder.
* * * * *
Jason hadn’t expected to see Alli sitting forlornly on a bale of hay when he entered the barn to put the kids away the following night. Being faced with the sight of her without having the chance to prepare himself hit him in the gut like a punch. He quickly composed himself enough to ask in a neutral tone, “What are you doing here, Alli?”
The kids immediately ran over to her, butting against her legs and hands in search of food. She scooped one up into her lap, but the little goat was too excited by the thought of dinner to sit still for a petting. She offered him a finger to suck, and he greedily slobbered all over her hand.
Alli spoke so softly Jason could barely make out what she was saying. “I miss this. Feeding the goat babies with you. Seeing you last night at the fundraiser...”
Jason blew a long breath through his lips. “Alli. You’re not supposed to be here. You’re not exactly welcome here right now.” Just then, as if to prove Jason wrong, Gus came prancing through the door and greeted Alli with a loud “Meeeeeh” of excitement.
Alli stood and wiped her slobbery hand on her jeans. Jason could tell she was close to tears, so he didn’t have the heart to refuse her when she motioned to one of the two bottles he held, and asked, “Would it be alright if I gave Frack his bottle?”
Jason handed her a bottle and they sat down together on the hay bale. Gus poked around here and there as Frick and Frack sucked down their bottles with their usual gusto. Frick finished his bottle first and promptly started nudging his way over to Frack’s. “Oh no you don’t.” Chided Jason, grabbing Frick around his round belly and hauling him against his chest.
Frick squirmed and kicked in an effort to free himself. He threw his little goat head back, knocking Jason in the mouth just as Frack finished his bottle and butted Alli for more. The force of both the kids sent all four of them over the bale of hay, landing side by side in a neat pile on the hay strewn floor.
The goats were up and running around before Alli or Jason could even register what had happened. Frick had Frack’s empty bottle in his mouth, and was sucking vigorously at the air and scooting the bottle across the floor. Frack joined him directly, and together they motor boated around the barn chasing phantom drops of milk from an empty bottle.
Alli laughed at the goats’ antics. She sobered upon seeing Jason. Frick’s head butt had cut his bottom lip against his teeth. Jason winced and touched tentatively at his injury. It wasn’t bad. He could taste a trace of blood on his tongue when he licked his lip.
“Oh, you’re hurt.” She said, concern creasing her delicate brow.
“Nah, it’s nothing...”
She was already raising her hand to his face. She gently pushed his lip back with her thumb, inspecting the tiny cut.
Their eyes met, and Alli’s breath caught in her throat. Her pulse began a familiar acceleration. Jason just held her gaze, watching her pupils dilate, not trusting himself to move. The tension between them was palpable as they lie there, breathing the same air. Both of them were remembering the last time they had lain together in the hay.
It was Gus that finally broke the spell. He shoved his way between them, impatient for his evening grain. Jason jumped up and busied himself filling the grain pans and making sure the water pail was fresh before locking the goats in their pen.
Alli shadowed him meekly. As he turned from latching the gate he nearly knocked into her. He reflexively grabbed her shoulders to keep her from falling backward, then released her like a live wire. “Damn it Alli, you shouldn’t
be
here!”
It broke his heart to see her wince at his sharp words. He pressed on, knowing it would be easier for her to hate him than continue pining for him. “Don’t look at me like that. We had an understanding. It’s not enough that I have to sit across from you every day, you’re harassing me at home too?” He almost deflated and apologized when her tears started spilling over, but he held his ground. “This is a mess of your own making, Alli. I can’t fix this for you. Your naïveté is astounding.” Alli was shaking her head in disbelief, openly sobbing by this point. Jason tried his best to look disgusted with her, but he wouldn’t bet he looked all that convincing with the way his guts were twisting inside. “I don’t know what else I should expect from a
child
. Go home Alli. Don’t bother me again outside of school.”
Alli turned and ran from the barn. Her tears blurred her vision as she stumbled away down the path. She tripped on a tree root and went sprawling, suffering a scraped palm to go with her bruised ego. Too absorbed in her own heart break, she never saw Jason slam his fist into the barn wall hard enough to splinter the board and grate his knuckles.
Pulling back, he did it again, this time hearing a distinct crunching sound upon impact. Wincing, he shook his throbbing hand and sucked at his knuckle. Leaning back, he slid down the rough barn wall and let his head fall into his good hand, with no one but the goats to witness his own silent tears.
Jason led Alli into the building through the double glass doors. The receptionist smiled familiarly at him. “Mr. Ogden. We’ve been expecting you.” She handed him two clipboards, and he passed one to Alli. They took a seat in the waiting area while they filled out their forms.
Alli looked over her questionnaire. It was all pretty straightforward stuff. She checked off boxes and signed the bottom. Jason had already finished his questionnaire. He took her clipboard for her and turned them both in at the front desk.
Alli glanced nervously around the waiting room, trying not to think of needles. This wasn’t what she had had in mind when she agreed to participate in Jason’s activities. Jason noticed her unease. He leaned over and rubbed his warm hands briskly over her arms. “You okay?” He asked.
She gave him a weak smile and nodded.
When the nurse called them back, Alli was surprised that they were allowed to go together. After a brief physical where they took her blood pressure and weighed her, she was even more surprised to find they would be sitting right next to each other in identical medical lounge chairs. Alli didn’t quite know what to make of them.
“Just sit here darlin’ and make yourself comfortable.” Cooed the nurse.
Alli swallowed audibly at the site of the plastic collecting bags and medical paraphernalia. “First time giving blood?” The nurse asked sympathetically. Alli nodded, trying to look brave. “Well, don’t you worry. You just watch Jason here. He’s an old pro. He’ll show you how it’s done.”
Alli looked over at Jason who was smiling encouragingly at her from his lounger. “An old pro? You do this a lot?”
“Oh sure.” The nurse answered for him. “Jason comes in every fifty six days like clock work. Hasn’t missed an appointment yet.”
Jason blushed at Alli’s scrutiny.
“And why does he do that, I wonder?” Alli said to the nurse, though she hadn’t taken her eyes away from Jason. Jason answered her softly.
“Someone very special to me once needed a blood transfusion. I give blood as often as allowed in her honor.”
Alli melted. She sank back into her lounger and offered up her arm, all of her nerves suddenly calmed. She wasn’t bothered by the sharp pinch of the needle. And holding Jason’s steady gaze was enough to quell the panic that threatened to rear up as she thought about her blood leaving her body. It was all over in fifteen minutes. The nurse cautioned her to lay back for a minute and get up slowly.
Alli stared starry eyed at Jason over cookies and juice in the blood bank canteen. Knowing that he regularly donated blood made her giddy. It was truly one of the most romantic things she had ever encountered.
“Thank you.” She said softly to him across the folding table.
“For what?” He asked.
Alli swallowed around the sudden lump in her throat. “For this.” Was all she could bring herself to say.
Jason stood and offered her his hand. She stood too, perhaps too quickly. She wasn’t sure if it was the fact that she had just given blood, or Jason’s proximity to her, but suddenly she was very lightheaded. Her knees began to buckle and Jason instinctively held her against himself to keep her from sagging to the floor. Alli leaned her forehead against his chest and discretely breathed him in. It felt so good to be in his arms again, even if it was only because he was too kind to just let her drop. She reached up and clutched his shoulders, slowly starting to steady herself. “You okay?” He asked.
Alli lifted her face to look up at him as he was looking down at her. The movement brought them nose to nose. Electricity sang between them. Jason closed his eyes and tightened his grip on her. Alli leaned in, brushing her lips across his in a feather-light touch. Jason’s eyes sprang open and he jerked back as if she had burned him. “Can you stand?” He asked gruffly, before releasing her at her nod. “We should go.” And he quickly lead the way out of the blood bank.